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Linkaton Furaito
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Linkaton Furaito is FAMOUS. So you'd better watch what you say to her! It's official, she IS BACK on |
— Linkaton Furaito, lying. | ||
By Popular Demand
Linkaton Furaito was so impressed with her handiwork on the Explosiv22 article that she decided to write one for herself because that is the very humble nature of her titanic ego.
As most already know, because Linkaton doesn’t speak a sentence without mentioning it, she is the tartlet responsible for the ever-confusing and all-around poorly designed Kiso species — she is incredibly proud of this fact. Perhaps if she’d been the one to invent actual dragons or wereanimals, the huge-headedness would be warranted and the willingness of her “fans” to kiss her ass would make more sense, seeing as combining the two is about as commendable as tying your shoes, breathing air, or blowing your boyfriend. Do you claim credit after making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Exactly, and neither would any sane person. Don’t bother trying to offer friendly advice or anything of the like to Linkaton Furaito though, as she is so far up on her high horse that she'll either not hear you, not care, or go BAAAWWWWing to her legion of fantards for sympathy and asspats. She built a hugbox for herself large enough for both herself and a Kiso to fit in.
Ass Kissing 101
—~Antimere777, sucking Linkaton’s e-cock and failing to realize that nobody loves a fatfuck autistic. | ||
Due to her rise in popularity Linkaton Furaito has decided to write a list of rules for her followers on how to properly kiss her ass.
THE DO'S
- You may draw me gift art, you do not have to ask me. I love giftart / fanart.
- I am open for Trades but I will advertise them in a Journal. Other than that they are closed permanently.- Open for permanently closed trades...hmmmm.....
- Requests are forever closed unless they are super close family-friends.- Or a faggot.
- You may ask me for a commission, I am always open on them unless I state they are closed.- In which case she is always open.
- You are free to ask me questions and I will reply to them.
- I may not reply to comments but I do read them, I may reply to ones I actually have a response to.- In which case she will always reply.
- You can note me about messengers I am a friendly person to talk too but I am shy at first around new people I first talk to. So in advance I apologies for not talking a whole lot. I study the person I speak to, to get more comfortable.- Read: if I see that you won't worship the ground I walk on, I will not give you the time of day.
THE DO NOT'S
- Which will eventually be put on a DEVIATION
- Do not tally my commissions.
- Do not pester me repeatedly or give me guilt trips about work I owe- Despite canceling work owed from over two years ago finally.
- Do not give me senseless stupid drama that I could care less about. (Usually repetitive drama.)- Unless of course drama is self started. In which case proceed.
- Do not give me lame excuses about me drawing personal art more than work I owe, do not tell me what I should do.- I DO WUT I WAAANNNNTTTT. And apparently, being a professional is not included in that list.
- Do not be an attention whore around me thus I will ignore you.- As there can only be one highlander.
- Do not give me your petty whine fest which isn't even worth whining over.- Exactly.
- Do not back stab me over stupid shit that isn't worth speaking about. Further more do not pester me about commissions if you do you WILL be put on the bottom of the list and wait just like everyone else.- And be canceled two years later with NO REFUND.
- Giftart is not always promised or not always done.
- Requests are only for a select few that I TRUST.. not with people who constantly bother me about one.
- Listen to the rules I give especially for my chat room & Livestream.- As seen here.
- If I say DO NOT CONTINUE that means cease and desist with what you're doing, most people do NOT like hearing that. Which causes people to leave. (Especially in Livestream, I'm still disappointed in people who keep driving my VIEWERS AWAY.)- Go home Wally. Also, forget being a friend and actually helping with those problems. Let's just worry about our asskissers, they're more important.
- If you do not like something I have drawn or have a disagreement with me, do not bother commenting because you'll just waste your time typing up something pointless which you could be doing something else other than that.
Kiso
The proper term for her furries original created species is Kiso, derived from “kiss” and “one”, as all fans have the option of kissing either the right or left side of her ass — there is room for several pairs of lips at a time per mammoth cheek. Some of her many deluded self made personas reaching such massive scales as 8ft tall, simply to fit all of her adoring fans. Kiso, or even "Kisonian" as to try and prove importance as a species, is at its roots derivative from the Greek word Manolis, meaning “cram as many colors, animal parts, alternate forms, and clichés into one body/character as possible”. Which often times can bring up confusion, or in the creators case, epic rage if even so mentioned their possible evolutionary relationship to lesser species of similar design. If you have created a Kisonian character correctly, the character will have seven different forms, all with a long drawn out back story as to how in an attempt to enter in to Linkaton's 'comic'. But not to be forgotten are the other most common traits, tricolor hair, mismatched eyes, and no less than three different skin colors. If you think anybody gives a shit about your stupid fucking fan character of a stupid fucking black person, you can post a picture of it at the Kisonian Lair, where Linkaton and all her little minions sit around and discuss her creations. Only the luckiest and most original of these creations will then be chosen for an ancient kisonian ritual, involving having gay sex with the creator. Any that survive are given permission to do it again, the highest of honors amongst true fans and kisonians.
Outside of social behaviors Kiso are ridiculously tall because they never have to be drawn in environments that show this, because Linka cannot be bothered — even when she does bother, she fails, as can be seen here and here. Over twenty pages of gallery art and only twice is there a background (that she didn’t even draw/color), let alone an actual environment. That, and this girl wants to put out a graphic novel? Not even that, but as was recently anounced, 5 graphic novels, each one containing over 10 books a piece.Keep dreaming.
The lead, and most atrocious, Kiso is someone called Linkaton Furaito and alleged main character of her comics. One can tell that he is the King of Kisos simply by observing — take note of the two-toned hair, ears, eyes, and hands. Kiso apparently scars turquoise, probably because once you scratch Linka’s surface, there’s nothing but raging faggot beneath. Linkaton shits AIDS, eats cock, and bleeds rainbows, and yet somehow he still finds the time to commission a tailor to make him a studded belt large enough for someone that's 10' tall. Only to be used later to rape upwards of 20 little kisonian boys at once.Amazing.
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Warning! DON'T EVER CRITICIZE LINKATON-FURAITO ON HER ARTWORK, SHE WILL ONLY BLAME HER AUTISIM ON IT! |
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Don’t you dare tell her her anatomy’s wrong…
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The offending picture.
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A little bit of truth shines through the bullshit.
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If you don’t want people to see something, don’t post it on the internets.
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If you get a lapdog to get their lapdogs to attack…are you really fighting your own battles?
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Linka Admits to likeing Doggeh luvin
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If you happen to look at the top right corner, you'll see that she actually frames her own "art".
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Mmm Yifflicious
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CAREFULL HE IS 4INCHES THICK AND 13 INCHES LONG!
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How kiso's reproduce -
More Kiso Lovin's
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Busy...now with more anthro!
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Just keep piling up shit...that's good design.
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King of bullshit!
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Needs to be BUSIER -
New character...same design ethic.
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...there are...no words.
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...yet ANOTHER form! Tally it up!
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Somebody call the waaaaahmbulance!
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Srsly, u guize.
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Proving our point almost completely. -
Really want to spruce up that gallery? DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING.
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Oh, ZeroG, your mother should've been handier with a coat hanger.
The Kisofan28 Saga
—Linkaton Furaito, on | ||
—Linkaton Furatio exerting her superiority to win an argument, because her high school was so incredible it had both majors and minors. | ||
Kisofan28 (known to friends and family as Jerry) is a half-grown clone of Conan O'Brien kept alive by cybernetic parts forged from Gundams and an old VCR. Raised by Tibetan monks into early adulthood, Kisofan28 swore to serve mankind and fight crime. Being a gentle soul at heart, though, Jerry found relief from the horrors of the world we live in through art. And he is, we must say, a master. The simplicity of the characters mix with just hints of originality and the obscure, melding together to melt in your mouth like high-class semen. Swish it, swill it- you'll find that it's easy to appreciate the genius behind Jerry's work.
However, our hero ran into trouble when Linktaon Furaito decided that horns and facial markings were also her creations! Which is, to carry on the analogy, the same as claiming a few days later that bananas and marshmallow fluff are also things you invented. You know, to go along with your peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Jerry's allied himself with TRUTH and JUSTICE and you can see him fight the good fight here and here. Watch as people in their late twenties descend upon a 14-year-old like vultures on a rotting carcass! Marvel as he fends them off with grace and style!
Linkaton Furaito factors into all of this because of the many fandog leashes she holds in her slimey, dragoncock-fisting hands. The runt of the litter, that just so happens to have the biggest bark despite the fact that its teeth have been pulled years ago, is Explosiv22- she sets off to troll but ends up just getting trolled, herself. Every time. She is, in fact, a fat and supple lolcow. Moo, you vapid cunt, moo. Linka, being a gigantic coward, makes a few appearances to attempt to lay some smackdown, but one can notice that her shitty DA icon pops up more than her busted face does to defend her "creations". Yeah, you would be a little ashamed to try and defend a peanut butter/jelly/banana/fluff sandwich, too, if you had half a brain. Especially if it looked like clown shit.
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An earlier masterpiece, circa 1657
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Coming soon!
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Jerry demonstrates a knack for composition.
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The plot...she thickens!
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DOG!
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GORE!
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Our hero! HAWT!
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Mmm...
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Jerry strives to give the ladies some eyecandy, with every piece.
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We're with him, too! (We love you, Conan!)
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Mooooooo!
On September 22nd, Jerry returned to the world of DeviantArt just like Conan O'Brien was to later on return to television. Like a phoenix from the ashes, Jerry came equipped with new skills, better art, and MOAR TRUTHS. The Chronicles of Barnia, his newest brainchild, is currently only five pages but promises to be so much more.
Guess The Autistic
— Biological Weapon Ryndi, taunting the Resistance and thanking Mommy Dearest |
Linda Maltby, a bipolar but brilliant evil scientist and Linkaton’s “mother”, has been trolling the world and trolling it hard for years. On February 22nd 2010, she celebrated 21 years of raping us all when her homebrew biological weapon, Ryndi, celebrated its birthday. Underground resistance fighters attempted to prevent this small Armageddon from taking place with a strategically placed steak but were unfortunately unsuccessful. To those of you on which subtlety is lost: Linkaton almost choked to death on a piece of steak but unfortunately survived the ordeal looking as if she was “punched in the face” in an effort to cosplay as Claire Courtney (after her father’s gone off on a bender, lolchildabuse).
More importantly, however, it appears that Li-Malt is hiding an even greater threat under her bipolar-as-fuck apron: an autistic. For those of you not aware of the destructive capabilities of a retard, please familiarize yourself with the notorious Ian Brandon Anderson. That is what we have to look forward to.
Central Intelligence tells us that both L-Mama’s MySpace and Facebook are plastered with encouraging messages about her love for autism, the most lulzy of them being: Angels Uniting Together In Search of a Miracle. The miracle would be if they all ate something with a trigger but time has shown us that these things are resistant to their self-destruct buttons. Fuck.
So it’s up to you, soldier. Guess the Autistic!
Is it:
- Linda herself, on top of already being psycho?
- The already mindfucking disease that is Linkaton/Ryndi?
- The patriarch and probably most depressed man on the planet, Will the Greater?
- The runt of the litter, emofag son and brother, Will The Lesser?
- Ryndi’s
boyfriendprisoner-of-war-turned-sex-slave, Andrew Wilson Cranfill?
It’s up to YOU.
Secure the answer for your comrades and win the internetz! Mystery solved! Rood rob, rang! Ree hee hee.
UPDATE!
my spies that reside in the linkaton camp have come forward with some info on her so called boyfriend... they are not together anymore apparently the now EX sex-slave had enough of her bullshit and told her to get a life i wouldnt blame him either who would want to go out with a fat autistic whalechild whos addicted to pedophiliea as her status states on furaffinity she is now on the prowl for another unsuspecting victim who has to be over 6ft and musclecular(me thinks shes thinks her kiso's are real!)
HIDE YO' KIDS, HIDE YO' DOGS
HIDE YO' KIDS, HIDE YO' DOGS
HIDE YO' KIDS, HIDE YO' DOGS
AND HIDE YO HUSBANDS, CUZ SHE'S RAPIN' E'RYBODY OUT HERE!
It's 'Avant Garde', You Know. Per Se.
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The offending image.
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epic
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win
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Comment hiding butthurting whore who cant handle the truth
If you must know, she thinks this is worth $50 of some poor saps hard earned money.
She changed the price after someone kindly explained she wasn't Picasso. Now it's $15. And that's still way too fuckin' much.
Have some money lying around that you'd rather give away than burn? 
HybridClaw Studios is now open for bznss. You can even pay in DevArt points, because she's that much of a whore.
Just remember, you're not allowed to: tell her that her prices are fucking ridiculous, bitch when she takes forfuckingever to draw your commission, get angry when she takes your money but doesn't deliver the goods, or get angry when she completes haha no..when she "works" on commissions out of the order they were received.
You know nothing of her creative genius at work.
More Light Shines through the Bullshit
—thephantomcritic (on Furafinity to her Journal labeled "I'm just very sick with people" | ||
Now it seems like her so called friend on Furafinity are getting tired of her bs, and actually are willing to be "rude" to her on the site, who knew!
Also she Bawwlocked the comment so she wouldn't be offended
The Yet Again (Yet Again, and Again) New Linkaton
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So it’s true- she’s never known how to draw.
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In all this time, she still hasn't learned anything about colors and how NOT to melt peoples' eyes in their sockets.
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No but seriously…this is SERIOUSLY the last redesign. Also he’s 20’ plus tall. You know, because cyborgs do that. Totally. -
FUCKYOUI’MADRAGON.
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This is like Frankenstein's monster: made from stolen parts.
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So's this.
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Keep trying, Ryndi.
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It took her HOW long to realize that orange and green aren’t good colors to use for a fire breed?
Yet again Ryndi has gone and changed her gary-stu Linkaton.
He has had OVER 9000!!!!! forms and she has gone and changed it because
people simply do not like the character. You'd think by now that she
would get a fucking clue! Or at least stop stealing from people.
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No, I promise…
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..this is totally…
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..original!
An Examination of Hiatus: It’s Definition, Applications, and Misuses.
Hiatus is something mankind has taken throughout history, from simple hibernations in prehistoric times to year-long delays in comic book publication, movie releases, and even relationships. Here, we will explore the depths of this sometimes elusive concept and provide insight and instruction on how and how not to undertake one.
Definition and Futher Explanation (With Examples):
The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language defines hiatus as follows:
hi•a•tus
n. pl. hi•a•tus•es or hiatus
1. A gap or interruption in space, time, or continuity; a break: "We are likely to be disconcerted by . . . hiatuses of thought" (Edmund Wilson).
2. Linguistics- A slight pause that occurs when two immediately adjacent vowels in consecutive syllables are pronounced, as in reality and naive.
3. Anatomy- A separation, aperture, fissure, or short passage in an organ or body part.
From this, we can gather that hiatus is meant to be a complete though temporary abandonment of a particular activity or behavior. For example, when the holiday season rolls around a majority of people will experience a hiatus in their current diets. This means that from approximately November until January a handful of people will completely abandon their resolution to eat properly and in reasonable quantities. With the coming and passing of the New Year, the hiatus will end and said people inevitably resume the previous practice of moderation.
Not all hiatuses are voluntary, however. In the situation of a sports-related injury, an athlete may be forced to go on hiatus in order to fully recover. They may not want to but all the same they have to. If a football quarterback breaks his arm, he will take a hiatus from the sport he loves and allow his limb to mend. This means that at no point during his hiatus will he pick up a football and play. If he were to go outside and have a catch with somebody, even after only two days of being in a cast, then his hiatus will effectively be broken.
How To Go On Hiatus
Step 1: Select a hobby, activity, or bodily function you wish to go on hiatus from.
Step 2: Stop participating in or executing that hobby, activity, or bodily function completely.
Step 3: Continue this behavior of abstinence for a previously designated period of time (i.e: a month, year, lifetime).
Step 4: When you have reached the end of your previously designated period of time resume your hobby, activity, or bodily function.
Tips and Tricks:
- If you have decided to abstain from a computer-related activity, unplug your computer. This will effectively remove temptation from the picture and insure that you are undertaking your hiatus properly.
- Cease contact with people related to the thing you're taking hiatus from. Like a drug addict, you will likely have to stay away from a particular group of friends related to the activity you need to take a break from. Keeping contact will only serve as temptation and in many cases the will is weak. Giving in to these temptations, much like an addict relapse, will only result in breaking your hiatus.
- Find activities with which to replace the one you're taking a break from. It's a good idea to go outside, meet new people, explore your neighborhood or just plain relax in nature. These practices are often calming and provide a great amount of time during which one can self-reflect.
- Get a job. This is a fantastic way to insure you are not vulnerable to temptation. A job provides distraction, exercise, and the possible bolstering of people skills needed in life. Also, having a cash flow is never a bad thing, as it will boost your self-esteem and make you feel good about yourself, further diminishing the need to participate in unhealthy practices such as cybersex or other roleplay.
How To Tell If You're Doing It Wrong
Going on hiatus is a difficult concept for some people but there is nothing wrong with seeking out help in order to clarify. Provided here is the simplest method of determining if you are, in fact, on hiatus. It is so simple that you will not require the help of anybody else other than yourself, further insuring that you are not breaking your hiatus!
Step 1: Identify what activity you're going on hiatus from. Example: Posting artwork online and participating in an online community.
Step 2: Ask yourself if you are currently doing this activity. Example: Am I posting artwork online and participating in an online community?
Step 3a: If the answer to this question is no...congratulations! You are properly executing a hiatus.
Step 3b: If the answer to this question is yes you are NOT properly executing a hiatus! You must cease your current actions until you can successfully answer no!
Proving that Linkaton Furaito does not actually go on hiatus.
Contributions welcomed, as always.
Vent Art and Its Many Failures
Linkaton Furaito is one of many people on the internet that, deep down, truly believe they are their characters. As a result, she thinks that drawing a (shitty) picture of her Gary Stu will intimidate the people she’s mad at, which is laughable because it’s only a picture. The only thing it manages to achieve is looking like a gay rave on a bender. Linkaton Furaito also fails to realize that she is not the victim in this scenario and has no right to be angry at anybody other than her fatfuck autistic self, or maybe her parents for not choosing Operation: Clotheshanger.
—Linkaton Furaito, using words she doesn’t understand and not taking her own advice. | ||
contributions are always welcomed
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Damn, that digital middle finger hurts our feelings.
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The proper way to word this would've been "I have broken the very fabric of my sanity".
See Also
External Links
"Art" Links
linkaton-furaito Artician didn't kiss her ass enough. To the furries!- hexebus-draemoore The furries didn't kiss her ass enough. Back to DA!
- Coffee-Hog her yet again new account! She is using it to adopt out her mutant sparkeldogs that were fed smack to unsuspecting victims.
- mr-linkaton-furaito < a troll account
- Her
numbah wun ass-licker'slove's page Rages easily, have fun. - Jerry's Deviant Art Gallery
- MangaBullet
- Artician
- YGallery
- wcutmedia on Ning (there crazy for trying to premote this bitch and her shitstain of a comic)
Other Personal Links
- Her facebook
Myspace- Ages Of Darkness RP board
- NEW LIVESTREAM!
linkatonfuraito
SabreOokami- Tumblr account
Contact Her
- AIM: NolenoxAphex
- Email: [email protected]
- New Email: [email protected]
- Hotmail: [email protected]
- Yahoo: the_kisemera_hybrid
- Skype: pink_unicorn_of_justice (fgt doesn't know skype directory can find her)
- Second Life: Linkaton Dligacz /Panic Core (Because her first life sucks, amirite?)
- Home phone: 440-466-9308
- Address: 1738 Pamona Dr #APT 102E, Geneva, OH 44041
- DOX lol, public record (Edit less, read moar, faggot)
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Linkaton Furaito is part of a series on Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage. |
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Linkaton Furaito is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
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Vampires • Humanoids • Reptiles • The Rest • See Also Click topics to expand |
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Linkaton Furaito is part of a series on Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage. |
| Linkaton Furaito is part of a series on Dying Alone
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