- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
Jeff Weise
Jeff Weise (aka weise) was an honest-to-God Injun, as well as an angsty teen from Minnesota. These three defining characteristics --His Injun-hood, his angsty teen-hood, and his Minnessotan-hood-- formed the greatest trifecta of Native American rage since Geronimo, leading to the Red Lake High School shoot'em-up. Like most angsty teens and all High School shooters, Jeff was a massive fanboi of famous celebrities Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold.
The IRL drama
.
—Jeff Weise, moments before starting a shoot-out with the cops. |
On March 21, 2005, Weise stole 2 handguns and a shotgun and pwned his grandparents. He then stole his grandfather's police cruiser, crashed it into his school, and pwned 7 more classmates before self-pwning. Newspapers and TV stations around the nation immediately jumped on the story and masturbated furiously to the topic of school-shootings and violence for several weeks until, flushed and weak in the knees, they finally moved back to the severely more important news schedule of arbitrary missing white women and Lindsay Lohan's latest eating disorder. Naturally, this brief media frenzy ensured a new round of pointless IRL drama combined with the typical routine criticism of Marilyn Manson and the temporary banning of all Hot Topic merchandise from school grounds. Somewhere along the line, some concerned mothers probably got involved as well, but that's shit only they care about.
On the Internets
Before killing himself, Weise was known for his various activities on the internets. He made many posts on various Nazi websites, knowing that Hitler didn't give a fuck about Native Americans and only cared about Germany. Weise also created several violent flash videos on Newgrounds and started a LiveJournal account, where he made 3 brief posts inquiring about cutting, alcoholism, grammatical errors, and other shit nobody cares about.
Jeff Weise was also an active member of Above Top Secret where he described his failed suicide attempt. Unfortunately (or rather fortunately for us at ED) he picked one of the least effective means of suicide - wrist slitting, which has a 2% success rate, thus keeping him live enough to aim for the High Score! After freaking out and seeking medical attention, he was drugged up on the same type of counter-productive mass murder pills as many other school shooters in history.
Previous Quote | Next Quote |
Graded Score
Graded score | |
---|---|
Kills: | 9/20 |
Accuracy: | 16/20 |
Style: | 20/20 bonus for looting armor & gun from guard |
Butthurt: | 17/20 Caused a moderate shitstorm. Nobody was white so nobody cared. |
Bonus: | 18/20 Stopped his suicide attempt and saved up his angst for greater things. |
Total score: 80/100 (B-) |
Gallery
-
Delicious cake! Also exploitable.
-
Grimy injun attention whoring.
-
Going into diabetic shock.
-
Somehow someone made fanart of him!
Weise Saved Red Lake!
This comment was left on the wikipedia discussion article by a random red lake citizen. How he or she was able to afford internet is a mystery, but the genie is out of the bottle..
External links
- Weise's LJ account
- Weise's Newgrounds profile
- Libertarian National Socialist Green Party (his site of choice)
- his first flash; 500,000+ hits lots of drama
- "Target Practice" parody
- 10th Anniversary Celebration
- Good article on it
- Steam fanclub group
Jeff Weise is part of a series on </3 EMO </3 [Cut] |
||||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
Jeff Weise is part of a series on GOTH [Embrace your inner darkness] |
||||||||||||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
Featured article March 17 & 18, 2015 | ||
Preceded by Nayzak |
Jeff Weise | Succeeded by Robert Casio |