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David Kalac: Difference between revisions
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[[File:DavidKalac.jpg|200px|thumb|right|David Kalac (a.k.a Danger Dave)]] | |||
{{quote|I killed Amanda Coplin. I strangled her with my hands, then a shoelace. I had no reason other than I was drunk and she pissed me off. Running from the cops was so fun. |David Kalac}} | {{quote|I killed Amanda Coplin. I strangled her with my hands, then a shoelace. I had no reason other than I was drunk and she pissed me off. Running from the cops was so fun. |David Kalac}} | ||
David Kalac is an [[OJ Simpson]] wannabe and a [[Terrorist|Serj Tankian]] lookalike who, after a night of getting wasted, killed her girlfriend and posted the pictures on /b/ | David Kalac is an [[OJ Simpson]] wannabe and a [[Terrorist|Serj Tankian]] lookalike who, after a night of getting wasted, killed her girlfriend and posted the pictures on [[B|/b/]]. | ||
At first, no one paid no mind or even cared because, it's /b/. But then the [[v&|partyv&]] heard of the happenings and decided to find the OP. This was preceded by a chain of events that has given numerous lulz to anyone that has been following. | |||
=Fail #2: Electric Boogaloo= | [[File:David Kalac 4chan posts.jpg|800px|center]] | ||
==Fail #1== | |||
Kalac, after failng to kill himself, realized that if he stayed, he'll most likely get taken to the slammer, so he decides to take his girlfriends car, and get the fuck out of there. Soon, the feds tracked his IP address and went to his house, where they found the body. After they realized that he left, they decided to chase him all through the state. After playing real life GTA across Southern Oregon, [[Retard|the cops]] ended up losing him. | |||
==Fail #2: Electric Boogaloo== | |||
{{quote|He was so nonchalant. He just sat down and ordered a can of Pabst.|Ryan Stowe, The Bartender}} | {{quote|He was so nonchalant. He just sat down and ordered a can of Pabst.|Ryan Stowe, The Bartender}} | ||
Once losing his four stars, he decides that it would be a great idea to go into a bar. Here, he ordered a beer, shakes the owner's hand, talks to some patrons, and (after four hours) leaves. No one recognised him or knew who he was. Then, he goes into the forest to see what [[beastiality|wildlife is like]]. He stays here for most of the morning. | |||
==Fail #3== | |||
==Current Status== | |||
He's currently being a faggot ass bitch to those fucking niggers in prison. | |||
(I'm too lazy to write this shit.) | |||
-You | |||
==Gallery== | |||
{{center|<gallery> | |||
File:David KalacTooSoon1415249965553.jpg | |||
File:David KalacRadioHead1415275372113.jpg | |||
File:David KalacNakedBanana1415249686356.jpg | |||
</gallery>}} | |||
==Also See== | |||
*[[OJ Simpson|His Inspiration]] | |||
*[[b|/b/]] | |||
==External Links== | |||
*[http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2014/11/portland_police_terminate_high.html Portland police call off high-speed pursuit of WA homicide suspect] | |||
*[http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2014/11/washington_murder_suspect_shar.html Washington murder suspect shared Pabst, stories in Portland bar, seemed 'completely normal'] | |||
{{Dying_Alone}} | |||
[[Category:People]] | |||
Latest revision as of 11:52, 5 July 2018
—David Kalac | ||
David Kalac is an OJ Simpson wannabe and a Serj Tankian lookalike who, after a night of getting wasted, killed her girlfriend and posted the pictures on /b/.
At first, no one paid no mind or even cared because, it's /b/. But then the partyv& heard of the happenings and decided to find the OP. This was preceded by a chain of events that has given numerous lulz to anyone that has been following.
Fail #1
Kalac, after failng to kill himself, realized that if he stayed, he'll most likely get taken to the slammer, so he decides to take his girlfriends car, and get the fuck out of there. Soon, the feds tracked his IP address and went to his house, where they found the body. After they realized that he left, they decided to chase him all through the state. After playing real life GTA across Southern Oregon, the cops ended up losing him.
Fail #2: Electric Boogaloo
—Ryan Stowe, The Bartender | ||
Once losing his four stars, he decides that it would be a great idea to go into a bar. Here, he ordered a beer, shakes the owner's hand, talks to some patrons, and (after four hours) leaves. No one recognised him or knew who he was. Then, he goes into the forest to see what wildlife is like. He stays here for most of the morning.
Fail #3
Current Status
He's currently being a faggot ass bitch to those fucking niggers in prison.
(I'm too lazy to write this shit.) -You
Gallery
Also See
External Links
- Portland police call off high-speed pursuit of WA homicide suspect
- Washington murder suspect shared Pabst, stories in Portland bar, seemed 'completely normal'
