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Jeff Weise

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Jeff Weise (aka weise) was an honest-to-God Injun, as well as an angsty teen from Minnesota. These three defining characteristics --His Injun-hood, his angsty teen-hood, and his Minnessotan-hood-- formed the greatest trifecta of Native American rage since Geronimo, leading to the Red Lake High School shoot'em-up. Like most angsty teens and all High School shooters, Jeff was a massive fanboi of famous celebrities Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold.

The IRL drama

Traditional native headdress

.

   
 
I try not to be aggressive in most situations, I'll use force if I have to, but I'm not about to go out and pick a fight. I'm mostly defensive, I'll defend myself if someone tries something but other than that I'm a peaceful person.
 

 
 

—Jeff Weise, moments before starting a shoot-out with the cops.

On March 21, 2005, Weise stole 2 handguns and a shotgun and pwned his grandparents. He then stole his grandfather's police cruiser, crashed it into his school, and pwned 7 more classmates before self-pwning. Newspapers and TV stations around the nation immediately jumped on the story and masturbated furiously to the topic of school-shootings and violence for several weeks until, flushed and weak in the knees, they finally moved back to the severely more important news schedule of arbitrary missing white women and Lindsay Lohan's latest eating disorder. Naturally, this brief media frenzy ensured a new round of pointless IRL drama combined with the typical routine criticism of Marilyn Manson and the temporary banning of all Hot Topic merchandise from school grounds. Somewhere along the line, some concerned mothers probably got involved as well, but that's shit only they care about.

On the Internets

Weise updating his LJ profile.

Before killing himself, Weise was known for his various activities on the internets. He made many posts on various Nazi websites (knowing that Hitler didn't give a fuck about Native Americans and only cared about Germany). Weise also created several violent flash videos on Newgrounds and started an LJ account, where he made 3 brief posts inquiring about cutting, alcoholism, grammatical errors, and other shit nobody cares about.

If the best you could do was this, you'd be pretty upset too

.

Graded Score

Graded score
Kills: 9/20
Accuracy: 15/20
Style: 18/20 bonus for looting armor & gun from guard
Butthurt: 17/20 Caused a moderate shitstorm. Nobody was white so noone cared.
Bonus: 18/20
Stopped his suicide attempt and saved up his angst for greater things.
Total score: 77/100 (C)
Maybe if you were white someone would care..

Gallery

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External links

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YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!
YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!
Jeff Weise is part of a series on
</3 EMO </3
[BleedCut]
Your best friend.
Your best friend.
I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES...
I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES...
Jeff Weise is part of a series on
GOTH
[Grow up and quit whiningEmbrace your inner darkness]
I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES...
I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES...

Perverts

Don HenrieJerry from Doomsday Refreshment CommitteeJonathon The InhalerLustiferaMichelle BelangerRyle Garamonde

Pussies

Brittany HolechkoDimmuborgiressIckeriss69KurtBatzLarathenMatt CrimminsMissHannahMinxMsUmlautNeil GaimanNickolausPaulie CalafioreSinnSophie LancasterSuccubbusTrent Reznor

Psychos

GothzillaHouse KheperuJeff WeiseJasmine RichardsonKimveer GillLindsay Kantha SouvannarathMemoryandDreamPink SpiderSephirothslaveSebastian BosseTodd Hoyt

Posers

Dani FilthEx-RayeFesazukichanJack SpicerJetTheeReaperPaganDeathKnightTooDamnFilthyVoodoo devil dollYouZeriara

Places

BasementsColumbineDeadJournalGoth macrosHot TopicRichland Collegiate High SchoolVampire Community Message BoardVampire FreaksVampire PosersVampire Shitty

Pastimes

Aiding the Dark Lord in BattleAngstBeing EdgyCuttingDrugsGuroHomosexualityNeil Gaiman's SandmanNecrophiliaNot having friendsMurderMy ImmortalPoetryRuining the InternetSchool ShootingSuicideThe Nightmare Before ChristmasVampirismWhere The Dead Go To DieRuby Gloom

Noise

Anal CuntThe CureDoomsday Refreshment CommitteeDr. SteelDream TheaterEmilie AutumnGothic RockJoy DivisionMisfitsNew RomanticNINThe Sisters of MercySiouxsie and The BansheesSlipknotTool

Featured article March 17 & 18, 2015
Preceded by
Nayzak
Jeff Weise Succeeded by
Robert Casio