Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

Munich Massacre

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is an old revision of this page, as edited by imported>ForcedMeme at 19:43, 20 April 2024. It may differ significantly from the current revision.
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Not to be confused with the 1972 Olympic hostage taking of the same name

Lose an iPod?

This page contains an hero.
Ali David Sonboly
Born 20 April 1998
Nationality: Germany  
Highscore Killed 9, injured 27
Top 50? No
Style Single player
An Hero? Yes


Yet another fucking mass shooting. We're getting tired of having to constantly shit out these articles, but they're evidently whats raking in the views. On July 22nd, 2016 (the 5th anniversary of Breivik's epic bloodfest), an 18 year old Iranian-German kid named Ali David Sonboly was fed up with being bullied by the filthy turkroaches infesting Deutschland, and the Glock he ordered off the Darknet was finally in his possession. So, he decided to seek revenge against the sub-human scumbags plaguing his nation and ruining his life, by going on a generic, but lulzy little shooting spree. The "tragedy" claimed 10 lives including his own. Thankfully, this kid discriminately targeted non-white undermentsch and cleaned up the turkroach infestation ruining his country, and earned his own ED page in the progress, along with thousands of admirers and creepy ass fangirls like every mass murderer scores. Due to the shooting spree being within close proximity in time to several terrorist attacks in Europe, most people believed the shooter to be a radical Islamic terrorist, but the opposite turned out to be true; David was a euro-skeptic, pro-white nationalist, anti-mudslime and /pol/ lurker. David was also active on Steam, where he trained for his terrorist attack by killing virtual terrorists in Counter-Strike and going on hacking rampages in GTA 5. Ban tactical assault video games.

And then I told them "Diversity is Germany's strength. The Muslims will assimilate to our kulture."

Background

tl,dr they do it for great justice and LULZ. If history has taught us one thing, Germans reading a book always leads to LULZ.
DE_Munich

Just a week before the attack, a 17 year old Mudslime decided to go for the high score by using nothing but an axe and his own brute strength. He critically injured a few NPCs before getting shot and wasted by the cops. ISIS claimed responsibility for the attack, like they did for the Paris Mass Shooting that killed over a hundred, and the Nice Truck Attack 2016 that pwn'd 80+ noobs, just a few weeks ago.

The perpetrator was bullied in school for being a fatass, having no friends and playing videogames all day. He decided to take matters into his own hands and would deal with his tormentors in a calm, rational manner.

This autist also thought it was a "special honour" to have the same birthday as Hitler

If Ali had not an heroed and had surrendered to the police he would have been considered a minor (under 21) and would have faced a maximum sentence of 10 years. Germany does not have a death penalty unlike more enlightened nations.

Steam Activities

Like 99.85% of ALL PC Gamers, David had an account on the Steam gaming service; 3 of them, in fact. Two of his alts got vac b& due to hax0ring, leaving only his main, † NΞΘ† GҽR†™, pure. He is known to have used pictures and names of mass murderers like Tim Kretschmer and Anders Behring Breivik for his steam identity. He was a skiddie who used hacks on Counter-Strike, and hax0red over 9000 dollars in GTA Online. He was known to be antisocial, quiet, and private about his personal life, but showed admiration for Alt-right politics, and great hostility to Turkroaches. He was also in several troll groups on steam, such as Jeff Weise, Anti-Refugee Club, Adam Lanza, Littleton Residents, Columbine High School - Class of '99, etc. A friend of his was arrested after some faggots on le reddit snitched his profile out to the cops, due to having lulzy and edgy shit on his profile. Most of the friends of the shooter who lived in Germany got paid a visit by the cops, had their computers confiscated, or been v&.


Shooting Spree

Hacked Facebook account

After another day of being beaten up by Turkroach and Arab normalfags, our hero decided to play some Counter-Strike IRL. He hacked a girl's Facebook profile and put up a post offering a free McDonald's meal. In reality, the McDonald's meal was multiple bullets. After killing people in McDonald's, he went and started shooting at people on the street before walking into a nearby shopping mall and continuing the carnage. He then walked into a parking lot and had an argument with a man standing on a balcony.

At around 20:30, he an heroed in front of two cops.

Class Setup
Item Accessories & Bonus
  • Primary: Glock 17
  • Pistol buyed in the Deep Web + 15~29 Damage
  • Thrown: Backpack
  • Backpack for hiding his gun -10 Speed
  • Perk 1: Kebab Remover
  • Double damage to turkroaches and mudslimes

Argument

Sam Hyde at it again, the absolute madman
showing off his gun IRL
Proud Aryan known only as "Balcony Guy" trolling shooter.

One German man on a balcony, deprived of any real weapons by Germany's LULZ killing firearms laws, launched a devastating Philosopher Attack leading to the most erudite exchange since the legendary Ludwig Wittgenstein-Karl Popper "careful with that poker Ludwig" debate of 1924.

Balcony Guy: Da ist er der scheiß türke! / There he is stupid turk

Shooter: I'm German

Balcony Guy: Di bist en Wichser das bist du! / You're Wanker that's what you are!

Shooter:Wegen Typen wie dir musst ich mir ne Waffen kaufen um euch alle Abzuknallen! / Because of Guys like you I bought a gun to shoot you all!

Balcony Guy: Ey Scheiß Türke !/ Ey Fucking turk

Shooter: Hör auf zu Filmen wegen Arschlöchern wie dir wurd ich die letzten 7 jahre gemobbt! / Stop Filming because of assholes like you I was bullied for the past 7 years !

Balcony Guy: Scheiß Kanacke ! / Fucking Sandnigger !

Shooter: Ja Was ! Ich bin hier geboren worden ! / Yes What ! I was Born Here !

Balcony Guy: Ey der hat ne waffe here der irre hat ne knarre ruf mal einer die Bullen ! / Ey he has a gun there the Psycho has a Gun ! Somebody already call the Cops !

Shooter: Ich hatte ne Zukumft ! Anders als ihr scheiß Hartz Vierer ! / I had a Future ! Other then Wellfare Guys like you !

Balcony Guy: Oh Halt die Schnauze du Arschloch da unten ! / Oh Shut up you Asshole down there !

Shooter: Wegen Arschlöchern wie dir war ich ganz lang in Therapy !c / Because of Assholes like you I was very long in therapy !

Balcony Guy: Da kommt sicher ne strafe für dich ! / There sure will come a punishment for You !

Shooter: Ich hab nichts getan ! Halten sie the Schnauze man ! / I did nothing wrong ! Shut the fuck up man !

Balcony Guy: Ey du wirst sterben du verfickter Idiot !/ Ey You will die fucking Idiot!

Shooter: *Fires at the ppl on the Balcony*

Balcony Guy : Ahh Wichser ! / Ahh Wanker ! muffled possible Deckung/ Cover

Shooter: Drops Magazin and possible reloads and begins to walk away

Balcony Guy: *Screams a ballade of racial slurs and insults at him*

Note: Anybody with a passing familiarity with German knows the scheiß means shit or shitty. Probably Google translated.

Argument, Act II.

To the surprise of nobody, Cuckistan decided to potentially v& Thomas Salbey for standing up against the shooter. The video footage of him arguing with the shooter has gone viral, bring in thousands of supporters and haters. In an interview, Tom said “All I had was a beer bottle to throw at him, but if I had a gun I would have shot him in the head.” He is now being investigated by the faggot pig polizei, and will probably face over 9000 years in a concentration camp for not staying in line with Politically Correct faggotry.

Kebab Removalist

It turns out that Ali D was a good guy greg all along, as he exclusively targeted turkroaches and other shitskins. Throughout the rampage, only one ethnic german was injured, probably by trying to play "hero" and defend the subhuman filth. Online, Ali was known to harbor admiration for Naziism and held extreme hatred against Turkey and her peoples. Ali's final solution will go on to garner positive net gains for Deutschland; when the AfD and other right-wing groups seize power after Angela Merkel is hung drawn and quartered, it is expected that a statue of our hero, Ali David Sonboly, will pop up somewhere. White Devils who are unplugged from The Matrix will nevar forget the contributions Ali made for Germany. Whilst most Germans are self hating fags who fuel their own extinction (immigration, white genocide, etc), Ali, the true aryan, went on to prove himself to be the TRUE German. Ruhe in Frieden! ;-;

Quotes

   
 
This type of mass violence does not happen in other advanced countries.
 

 
 

— Obama who apparently does not include Euro countries as "advanced".

   
 
All I had was a beer bottle to throw at him, but if I had a gun I would have shot him in the head.
 

 
 

— Balcony Guy being awesome.

   
 
France will have to learn to live with terrorism.
 

 
 

— French Prime Minister Manuel Valls, surrendering without a fight like a true Frenchman.

   
 
...multiculturalism + Islam does not work.
 

 
 

— Sir Anders Breivik stating the obvious.

   
 
I'll give you something if you want, but not too expensive.
 

 
 

— Sonoboy cleverly enticing kids into a McDonald's with offers of free food.

   
 
You know the drill. Pray for blah blah blah and blame guns and send positive tweets of unity. #Munich
 

 
 

— Beth Palacios Twittering

   
 
He was a nice boy. Very quiet. I don't think he ever had a girlfriend. He just recently started taking SSRI antidepressants.
 

 
 

— Description of every shooting spree teenage male ever.

List of Bullies Pwn'd

  • Sevda Dag, 45
  • Dijamant Zabergja, 21
  • Huseyin Dayicik, 19
  • Gulliano Kollmann, 18
  • Roberto Rafael, 15
  • Selçuk Kiliç, 15
  • Armela Segashi, 14
  • Can Leyla, 14
  • Sabina Sulaj, 14




Anders is disappointed in you!

Graded Score

Graded score
Kill count: 9/20
Accuracy: 9/20
Style: 20/20 Self Kebab Removal
Butthurt: 20/20 Full media coverup, many lulz
Bonus: 20/20 Lured the victims into McDonalds
Total score: 78/100 (C)
Grand Theft Auto IRL
See full ranking

Wanted Level:

Bundesnachrichtendienst


Videos


The shooter in action


Balcony Man vs Sonboly


David doing his bloodbath


Turns out he was obsessed with mass shootings

Gallery of Amoklauf

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See Also

External Links

Youtube

STEAM SHIT

News

Munich Massacre is part of a series on National Socialists
Click topics to expand

Sieg Heil!

SchutzstaffelIdeologie, Tradition, Praxis, und StolzMöchtegern-NazisFeinde, Verräter, und verboten

Ze Federal Republic of Germany
Übermenschen Charles BukowskiJoseph GoebbelsHermann GöringHegelAdolf HitlerKaleColonel KlinkTim KretschmerArmin MeiwesAngela MerkelNietzscheTobias RathjenWalter SeifertRobert SteinhäuserNorman Kochanowski
Untermenschen AtimonUwe BollSebastian BosseContiDolphyFirithfenionTanja FleischerInflatablewolfiInukiBill KaulitzDaniel KayKarl MarxMartin PeyerlPeter PopoffRubeus EdenSalihBarbara Schwarz
Dinge und anderer Scheißdreck The Royal FamilyBut you are died!Car#German carsDAS TROLLPARADIESDownfallCelsiusFinal SolutionGermaniaHalle synagogue shootingHaribo® Sugarless Gummy BearsDavid HasselhoffHeino HijinksHeisenberg Uncertainty PrincipleHolocaustHolocaust denialJagexKohlchanKrautchanMecha-HitlerMein KampfMunich MassacreNazi BoysNazi furNazi mysticismPants NaziSchadenfreudeSchlagerSecret NaziSix Degrees of Adolf HitlerT-MobileTom Preston/GermanValkyrieVirgin KillerVolapükZyklon B

Munich Massacre
is part of a series on
An Heroes

[iPod][Xbox]
Died Alone

1-14 Jakarta AttacksAaron BushnellAaron HowardAaron SwartzAcidChanAdam LanzaAdolf HitlerAkbarzhon DzhalilovAlan TuringAlexis PilkingtonAmanda ToddAn HaloAndrea PignaniAndrew KehoeAndrew KoenigAnthony WarnerAnton Lundin PetterssonArtyom KazantsevAsa CoonAugust AmesBen VoddenBob8466Brandon CleggBrandon CrispBrandon HoleBrenda WilliamsBrigit GonzalezBroadt LedetBruce PardoBubba CopelandBudd DwyerCandyjunkieArcan CetinCharles BishopCharmaine DragunChloe SagalChris BenoitChris DornerChristine ChubbuckChristopher FosterChris Harper-MercerCho Seung-HuiClay DukeCodey PorterDavid RitchesonDerrick BirdDevin KelleyDustin MichaelsDylan KleboldElliot RodgerEmma JonesEric HarrisEtikaEuler GrandolphoGeorge HennardGeorge SodiniGizgizGleb KorablevHannah BondHeath LedgerHunter S. ThompsonIsrael KeyesJake RobertsJames LeshkevichJarrad WillisJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJenny GrantJewWarioJiverly VoongJodie Gater and Stephanie GestierJoe StackJohn HouserJonathan Kendrick LewisJosé BettsJürgen ConingsKevin Neil WhitrickKlerckKurt CobainLeelah AlcornLivecorpseLowtaxMatthias SchoormannMario FerreyraMarvin HeemeyerMcSkilletMegan MeierMercedes HerreraMia JaninMitchell HendersonMr. HandsMatti SaariJosh BallardNathaniel BerhowNghtmrchld26Nikita LytkinNikki CatsourasOldDirtyBtardOtoya YamaguchiPanya KhamrabPaula GoodspeedPekka-Eric AuvinenPetri GerdtPhilip MarkoffQuentin HubbardRachele RuddRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRichard JeniRina PalenkovaRobert CardRobert HawkinsRobin WilliamsRonnie McNuttRudolph ZurickRyan PalmeterSadie DavilaSalman AbediSam LeesonShane HalliganShaun DykesShawn WoolleyShayShuaibySol PaisStephanie Michelle BrownStephen KazmierczakStephen HuffStephen PaddockStiletto oneTang YongmingTatiana the TigerTerry DavisThe An Heroes of BridgendTim KretschmerTimothy HendronTony48219Tyler ClementiTyler DumstorfTyler PetersonVerne TroyerWilliam Atchison

Failures

Adf-fuensalidaAhuviya HarelAlek MinassianAmber ButtrumAmy BishopAnton BichivinAriana RaykottoAudrey HaleAydin PaladinBernie MadoffBrandon ClarkBrenda SpencerBrian ClydeBrian ConnorsBrook HigginsCampo DelgadoCharles ZieseCobanermani456Colonel McBadassCrystal ShinkleDavid GrayDeWayne CraddockDimitrios PagourtzisDmitry VinogradovDylann RoofGabe ParkerGeorge StinneyHugo JacksonIlnaz GalyavievImma-The-DeerJakrapanth ThommaJames HubertyJamethJarrod RamosJeffree MoonJessica EvertJonathan RossJoseph CampJustin-anonLindsay SouvannarathLolo FerrariMamoru TakumaMartin BryantMary BellMichael CarnealMichael GimsonMissyMychal BellNeograntNikkineko333Nikolas CruzNoah EsbensenNuzzieKomaOwen WilsonPikacat39PogoRooRainBoy107Richard ReidRandan FontaineRex FowlerRobert CrimoRobert LongSalvador RamosShaan SinghShinji AobaSienna JohnsonSirtom93SneakylizardStephen FryTakeShotActionTimur BekmansurovTJ LaneToaster SteveTom PrestonTooDamnFilthyTumbles the StairdragonViper

Related Pages

90 Day JaneAn hero dayask.fmAutoerotic asphyxiationColumbineGolden iPodHeaven's GateHigh ScoreHow to become an heroJeffrey EpsteinMydeathspacePseudocideShotgun mouthwashSuicideSuicidal FailureThe Great Sonic-cide of 2007Threatening suicideVirginia Tech massacreWaco


Munich Massacre is part of a series on Are You Ready? [GAME OVERInsert Coin] Go!
Single Player Elite Hall of Fame

Adam LanzaAnders Behring BreivikAndrew KehoeAriana Grande MassacreBaruch GoldsteinBrenton TarrantCampo Elías DelgadoCho Seung-HuiDevin Patrick KelleyDong YanglingGabriel WortmanJack Gilbert GrahamJakrapanth ThommaJames HubertyLuby's massacreMartin BryantMutsuo ToiNice Truck Attack 2016Omar MateenPanya KhamrabPatrick CrusiusReina Nightclub MassacreSalvador RamosShinji AobaStephen PaddockTed BundyVladislav RoslyakovWilliam UnekWoo Bum-kon

Single Player Amateur Division

Aaron AlexisAlexandre BissonnetteAkbarzhon JalivovAli David SonbolyAnderson Lee AldrichAndrea PignaniAnton Lundin PetterssonArtyom KazantsevAudrey HaleBrandon Scott HoleBreda Highschool MassacreBreitscheidplatzBrenda Ann SpencerBruce Jeffrey PardoCapital Gazette ShootingCharles Whitman's TumorChris Harper-MercerConnor BettsDallas Police ShootingsDarrell BrooksDavid KatzDavid KozákDavid Malcolm GrayDeath to Traitors, Freedom for BritainDerrick BirdDeWayne CraddockDimitrios PagourtzisDimitrious GargasoulasDmitry VinogradovDylann Storm RoofElliot RodgerÉric BorelEuler Fernando GrandolphoFlemming NielsenFort HoodGabe ParkerGeorge SodiniGian Luigi FerriIan David LongIlnaz GalyavievJake DavisonJames Alex FieldsJames HolmesJared Lee LoughnerJason DaltonJason RodriguezJaylen FrybergJeffrey DahmerJeff WeiseJesse OsborneJiverly VoongJoe StackJohn Russell HouserJohn Wilkes BoothJonathan SapirmanJosef FritzlKhalid MasoodKimveer GillKip KinkelKongsberg Bow and Arrow RampageLam Kor WanMamoru TakumaMarc LépineMark BartonMark EssexMartin PeyerlMatthew de GroodMichael CarnealMichael Kenneth McLendonMichael RyanMikese MorseMr. SaariNathan GaleNghtmrchld26Nikolas CruzNoah EsbensenOrlando HarrisOtoya YamaguchiPatrick PurdyPayton GendronPekka-Eric AuvinenPetri GerdtRamadan Van ManRandy Robert StairRichard SpeckRobert BalesRobert BowersRobert CardRobert CrimoRobert HawkinsRobert LongRobert SteinhäuserRuslan AkhtyamovRyan PalmeterSantino William LeganSatoshi UematsuSayfullo SaipovStephen KazmierczakThe Twinkie ManThomas Matthew CrooksThomas Watt HamiltonTim KretschmerTimothy HendronTimur BekmansurovTJ LaneTobias RathjenTrystan Andrew TerrellTyler PetersonUnabomberWade Michael PageWalter SeifertWellington Menezes de OliveiraZhao ZeweiZug Massacre

Multiplayer Co-Op Mode

1-14 Jakarta AttacksAcademy ManiacsBoston Marathon BombingCharlie HebdoColumbineCrocus City Hall MassacreHiroshima and NagasakiISIS Paris Attack 13-11Jews did WTCLondon Bridge Attack 2017Medianeira School ShootingPearl HarborSan Bernardino ShootingSri Lanka 2019 Terrorist AttacksSuzano School ShootingTimothy McVeighZhaodong Massacre

Civilization and Great Prophets

Adolf HitlerAugusto PinochetAum ShinrikyoCharles MansonHeaven's GateHolocaustJonestownJoseph StalinKim Il-sungMao ZedongOsama bin LadenPol PotSaddam HusseinWacoWorld War II

Banned From Scoring

Alex HribalAnthony WarnerAnton BichivinAsa CoonBen MoynihanBilly MitchellBrandon CleggBrian Isaack ClydeCharles BishopClay DukeDillon CosseyFaisal ShahzadFrank JamesHayden JagstHugo JacksonIlya IvanistovJohn EarnestKyle RittenhouseLaaiti EkenstéenLindsay Kantha SouvannarathLogan ClarkMAGABomberMikhail PivnevNasim AghdamNicky ReillyPhilip ManshausRichard ReidRyan RouthSam HydeSebastian BosseSol PaisStephan BallietTodd RogersWillem Van SpronsenWilliam AtchisonYou

 
Munich Massacre is part of a series on Psychopaths
[It rubs the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose againOpen the box]
Spree/One-time Killers:

Aaron AlexisAdam LanzaAlex HribalAlyssa BustamanteAnthony WarnerAudrey HaleBruce Jeffrey PardoCasey AnthonyCho Seung-HuiDevin Patrick KelleyDylan KleboldDylann Storm RoofEric HarrisGerry McCannJames HolmesJared Lee LoughnerJason RodriguezJeff WeiseJiverly Voong Joe StackJosef FritzlLaaiti EkenstéenMark EssexMartin BryantMatthew de GroodMatthew MurrayMatti SaariMaurice ClemmonsPekka-Eric AuvinenRaoul MoatRichard SpeckRobert HawkinsStephen PaddockTim KretschmerTimothy HendronTJ LaneTyler PetersonWade Michael PageWoo Bum-kon

Career/Serial Killers:

Academy ManiacsAdolf HitlerCharles MansonChris BenoitDnepropetrovsk ManiacsDubyaJack the RipperJeffrey DahmerMao ZedongRichard "The Iceman" KuklinskiTed Bundy

Terrorists:

Al QaedaAnders Behring BreivikAnderson Lee AldrichAnton Lundin PetterssonDzhokhar TsarnaevElliot RodgerGeorge SodiniManiacs Murder CultMark EssexNidal Malik HasanOsama bin LadenTamerlan TsarnaevTed Kaczynski

See also:

Antisocial personality disorderJewsMurderParanoid personality disorderPittsburgh Paint JobPolice BrutalitySick fuck

Featured article July 29 & 30, 2016
Preceded by
Venusangelic
Munich Massacre Succeeded by
Sad Satan