Boyfriend

The monsters in Sailor Moon know whats up.

Your mother loves you; everyone else thinks you're a cunt.

If lucky, your potential boyfriend might release his sexual deprivation and stick it in your pooper.

Boyfriend is a term derived from the words Boif (old-English for "life") and Rend ("to tear apart"), and is basically used to describe males that have one female friend. Boyfriends can be easily seen out-and-about with their girlfriends, simply by observation.

Observing Couples

• If they are both laughing and joking, then this couple is just friends, and perhaps went to highschool/college together.
  If, however, only one is laughing and joking, see which of the two are laughing. If it is the female laughing, then they again are friends, but the guy has been restricted to the friend zone. If it is the male laughing, then it is just a blind date, and it's not going well.
• If they are quiet and contemplative, they are likely to be brother and sister, or possibly congenitally deaf.
• If they look Bored and resigned, they are most likely married.
• If she won't shut the fuck up and he looks like his bank account is being screwed over, then this couple is likely to be boyfriend/girlfriend.

Getting a Boyfriend

To get a boyfriend, you should wear tight clothes and act like a slut. Hang out in bars, get drunk a lot, and don't be afraid to give the odd blowjob. It also helps to claim to be bi-curious. If you are a male, then it helps to also carry condoms and use excessive sexual innuendo as much as possible.

Losing a Boyfriend

To lose a boyfriend, simply leave the kitchen. Another possible method is to drop subtle hints about marriage, or claim to have voted against Prop-8, and drop un-subtle hints about being monogamous.

See Also

• Friend Zone
• Girlfriend

External Links

• Boyfriend of the month
• Boyfriend of the year

Boyfriend is part of a series on Sex Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage.

Boyfriend is part of a series on Dying Alone [DeadCry yourself to sleep] Those Who Have Died Alone Aaron Alexis ☠ Aaron Bushnell ☠ Aaron Swartz ☠ Adam Lanza ☠ Alexis Arquette ☠ Amanda Todd ☠ Amy Winehouse ☠ Anal Cunt ☠ Andy Kaufman ☠ Angry Grandpa ☠ Anna Nicole Smith ☠ Anthony Warner ☠ Asa Coon ☠ Brian Adams ☠ Brandon Crisp ☠ Byuu ☠ Charmaine Dragun ☠ Cho Seung-Hui ☠ Chris Benoit ☠ Chris Harper-Mercer ☠ Chyna ☠ Codey Porter ☠ David Bowie ☠ David Carradine ☠ Dragoneer ☠ Eazy-E ☠ Edarem ☠ Elliot Rodger ☠ Elvis Presley ☠ George Sodini ☠ Gizgiz ☠ Gleb Korablev ☠ HappyCabbie ☠ Harambe ☠ H.P. Lovecraft ☠ Heath Ledger ☠ Jake Davison ☠ Jeff Weise ☠ JewWario ☠ Jim Morrison ☠ Kate Spade ☠ Kitty0706 ☠ Kurt Cobain ☠ Lemonade Coyote ☠ Leelah Alcorn ☠ Lil Peep ☠ Lilo ☠ Loki Blackfang ☠ Lowtax ☠ Mia Janin ☠ Megan Meier ☠ Michael Jackson ☠ Mitchell Henderson ☠ MySpace ☠ Nathan Gale ☠ Nikita Lytkin ☠ Otoya Yamaguchi ☠ Pekka-Eric Auvinen ☠ Prince ☠ Randy Stair ☠ Rehtaeh Parsons ☠ Ricardo Lopez ☠ Rina Palenkova ☠ Ripper ☠ Robin Williams ☠ Ronnie McNutt ☠ Rudolph Zurick ☠ Ryan Palmeter ☠ Shawn Woolley ☠ Shay ☠ Shuaiby ☠ Sol Pais ☠ Stephen Paddock ☠ Steve Stephens ☠ Thomas Matthew Crooks ☠ Tony48219 ☠ TooDamnFilthy ☠ Tyler Dumstorf ☠ Vester Flanagan ☠ William Atchison ☠ XXXTentacion ☠ Zhao Zewei Those Dying Alone 03bgood ☠ 2cash ☠ 2 gryphon ☠ 7jackass77 ☠ Adam Sandler ☠ Ahuviya Harel ☠ AIDS Skrillex ☠ AkewsticRockR ☠ Alex Ford ☠ Alison Rapp ☠ America's Third Party ☠ Amy Schumer ☠ Andrew Allanson ☠ Angry Joe ☠ AnimatedJames ☠ Anita Sarkeesian ☠ Anonymous Borg ☠ Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto ☠ Antony Aguilar ☠ April Davis ☠ Aquagirlwhitefox ☠ Argent009 ☠ Arguecat3 ☠ Arin Hanson ☠ Armake21 ☠ Asalieri ☠ Asher2500 ☠ Austin Alexander ☠ AvantGardePony ☠ Bambifan101 ☠ Barneyfag ☠ Basement Dwellers ☠ Ben Ford ☠ Ben Moynihan ☠ Benny_the_Snake ☠ Benthelooney ☠ Big Red ☠ Bikerfox ☠ Bill9929 ☠ Bill Gaede ☠ Bill Gates ☠ BLACKbusterCritic ☠ Bob Rehahn ☠ BrandontheMovieGuy ☠ Brandon Smith ☠ Brian Mueller ☠ Brian Richard Zaiger ☠ Brianna Wu ☠ Bronies ☠ ButLova ☠ ByAppointmentTo ☠ Carl the Cuck ☠ Cartoonjunkie ☠ Caseydecker ☠ CatboyKami ☠ Cheeyev ☠ Chloe Sagal ☠ Chris-chan ☠ Chris Crocker ☠ Chuck M. ☠ Clint of Rise and Fall ☠ CopperCab ☠ Corey Margera ☠ Coughlan666 ☠ Crazyvideosandrants ☠ Crinklemon ☠ Cyraxx ☠ Daniel Brandt ☠ Dan Cilley ☠ Dane Cook ☠ Dani Filth ☠ Darius McCollum ☠ Darknessthecurse ☠ DarksydePhil ☠ Dave Chapelle ☠ Dave Mustaine ☠ David Hockey ☠ Daxflame ☠ DBoyWheeler ☠ Deeker ☠ DeterminedToDrawUT ☠ Dev-catscratch ☠ DGTrixie ☠ Diaper Boy ☠ Dillon Cossey ☠ Diogo Mendes ☠ DisneyFan01 ☠ DisneyMaster ☠ DJ KEEMSTAR ☠ Dnepropetrovsk maniacs ☠ DodgerofZion ☠ Dogpatch Press ☠ Don Roberts ☠ Doodletones ☠ Doomer3868 ☠ Dorian_Gay ☠ Doug Walker ☠ Drakon ☠ DrossRotzank ☠ Doomentio ☠ Dustin ☠ EDP445 ☠ Emer Prevost ☠ Emos ☠ Epic Fat Guy ☠ EpicKitty54 ☠ Eric Abramov ☠ Eric Ridenour ☠ Erik Ribsskog ☠ ErtasVideos ☠ Filthy Frank ☠ Fagolescents ☠ FanFic Critic ☠ Fast Eddie ☠ Fat Man ☠ Faust & Pory ☠ Five Nights at Freddy's fans ☠ Flardox ☠ Fluffy teh wolf ☠ ForeverKailyn ☠ Friends of A-Log ☠ Furries ☠ G-Zay ☠ Gather Against Fate ☠ George Lopez ☠ Geoshea ☠ Ghost ☠ Girlvinyl ☠ Globelamp ☠ GoddessMillenia ☠ Graykat ☠ Greg Mazujian ☠ Gwen Gale ☠ Gwen Stefani ☠ Harmful Opinions ☠ Hellkiller777 ☠ I Dislike Cis People ☠ I Hate Everything ☠ Ian Miles Cheong ☠ Ichverbot ☠ icze⁴r ☠ Imma-The-Deer ☠ InkBunny ☠ Isabella Loretta Janke ☠ Jamil The King ☠ Jessi Slaughter ☠ Jessica Leeds ☠ Jim Profit ☠ JINXDROWNED ☠ Joe Crusher Pickles ☠ Joeker ☠ John Bulla ☠ John Field ☠ John Kricfalusi ☠ John Patrick Rogers ☠ Jonathan McIntosh ☠ Jonmon ☠ JonTron ☠ Joseph Camp ☠ Joseph8276 ☠ Joshua "Null" Moon ☠ Juggalos ☠ JustinRPG ☠ Kat Dennings ☠ Kendall Jenner ☠ Keegan Salisbury ☠ Kathleen Todd ☠ Kenny Glenn ☠ Kevin Havens ☠ Keffals ☠ Kimmo Johan Alm ☠ KingEmpoleon ☠ KingMasterReview ☠ Krashed ☠ Laci Green ☠ Larry the Cable Guy ☠ Lauren Faust ☠ LeafyIsHere ☠ Lecarick ☠ Leigh Alexander ☠ LeisureSuitGaming ☠ Lena Dunham ☠ Leonard F. Shaner Jr. ☠ Leslie Jones ☠ LifeInATent ☠ Likeicare ☠ Linkara ☠ LittleCloud ☠ LittleKuriboh ☠ Logo Kids ☠ Lordelthibar ☠ Low Tier God ☠ Lucian Hodoboc ☠ M. Chaos ☠ A Man in Black ☠ Manchildren ☠ Mar9122 ☠ Marbles ☠ MarioMario456 ☠ Mariotehplumber ☠ Marjan Siklic ☠ masteroogwgay ☠ Matthew Davis ☠ Matthew Nicholson ☠ McJuggerNuggets ☠ MDetector5‎ ☠ Meowbark ☠ MeganSpeaks ☠ Michael Batton ☠ Michael Fitzhywel ☠ Michael Gimson ☠ Mike Sandy ☠ Moleman9000 ☠ Monica Punk ☠ MonkeyGameGuides ☠ Moviebob ☠ Mumkey Jones ☠ MuZemike ☠ MylarBalloonFan ☠ MysteriousMrEnter ☠ MysticArk ☠ NaokoElric2250 ☠ NawlinWiki ☠ Neckbeards ☠ NeoGAF ☠ Nick Bate ☠ Nick Bravo ☠ Nikkineko333 ☠ Noah Antwiler ☠ Nostalgia Chick ☠ Notch ☠ Nullcherri ☠ Objectfags ☠ OFWGKTA ☠ Onideus Mad Hatter ☠ Onyx Forepaw ☠ Pacificoceanasia ☠ PaigeGirl ☠ Paul Feig ☠ Paulie Calafiore ☠ Parkourdude91 ☠ Peter Bright ☠ Peter Coffin ☠ PhantomStrider8 ☠ Phil Fish ☠ PhunWithLogic ☠ Pinkiepony ☠ Pit Viper ☠ Pixyteri ☠ Peluchin Entertainment ☠ PMRants ☠ Preachingthegospel ☠ Quentin Tarantino ☠ Rachael MacFarlane ☠ Randi Harper ☠ Richard Reid ☠ Ricki Raven ☠ RMG Productions ☠ Robert Stainton ☠ Robert Wayne Stiles ☠ Rockosocko ☠ Romeo Rose ☠ Rootbrian ☠ Rose3212 ☠ Ryan Routh ☠ Sad Frog ☠ SammyClassicSonicFan ☠ Sam Pepper ☠ Sarah Butts ☠ Sarahisnifty ☠ SaturnDOS ☠ Sceptre ☠ Schnookums ☠ Segacamp ☠ Sega Kid ☠ Seth MacFarlane ☠ Sethisto ☠ Shadman ☠ Simply Okami ☠ Slowbeef & Diabetus ☠ Snapesnogger ☠ Sonic Savior ☠ Sonmanic ☠ Sony-Mae ☠ Sophie Labelle ☠ Spax3 ☠ Stormy ☠ Superlisamcb ☠ Susan Boyle ☠ Tara Strong ☠ TheAmazingAtheist ☠ TheDOSFag ☠ TheSockDetective ☠ Tim Buckley ☠ TJ Lane ☠ Todd in the Shadows ☠ Tom Preston ☠ ToonEGuy ☠ Tourneyfags ☠ Trey Eric Sesler ☠ Trigglypuff ☠ Tyciol ☠ Tyler Garmany ☠ Ulillillia ☠ The Unknown Autobot ☠ Vade ☠ VinceintheBay ☠ Wade Fulp ☠ WeatherManKevin ☠ Wesley!!! ☠ WoWfan4life ☠ Wwwarea ☠ Weegeeisgoingtokillm ☠ Xenuria ☠ YandereDev ☠ Yoshiwii1 ☠ You ☠ youngbloodfantasy91 ☠ Zoe Quinn ☠ Zone Their Methods 9gag ☠ Adventure Time ☠ An Hero ☠ AIDS ☠ Animu ☠ Alt-right ☠ Art School ☠ A-Log's Fanfiction ☠ ask.fm ☠ Asperger's Syndrome ☠ Assigned Male ☠ Bath Salts ☠ The Big Bang Theory ☠ Battle For Dream Island ☠ BlackLivesMatter ☠ Black metal ☠ Body Pillows ☠ BonziWORLD ☠ BitView ☠ Booze ☠ Bullying ☠ BuzzFeed ☠ Children's Cartoons ☠ Clown World ☠ Computer Science III ☠ Cosplay ☠ CumOnPrintedPics.Com ☠ Cuphead ☠ Dead Friend ☠ Death metal ☠ Death penalty ☠ Dating Sims ☠ DeviantART ☠ Discord ☠ Drugs ☠ Edginess ☠ Family Guy ☠ FanFiction ☠ Feminism ☠ Fedora ☠ Fidget spinner ☠ The Filthy Frank Show ☠ Five Nights at Freddy's ☠ Fleshlight ☠ Friend Zone ☠ FurAffinity ☠ Furry Art ☠ Fun Shitposting Wiki ☠ Garry's Mod ☠ Genshin Impact ☠ GoAnimate! ☠ Googlewhacking ☠ Gorillaz ☠ Goths ☠ Gravity Falls ☠ Green Day ☠ Greeny Phatom ☠ Grindcore ☠ Hacking ☠ Happy Madison Productions ☠ Homestuck‎ ☠ Hover hand‎ ☠ Hufflepuff ☠ High Score ☠ Incelcore ☠ Indie music ☠ Infantilism ☠ Insane Clown Posse ☠ Introvert ☠ Invisible Girlfriend ☠ IRC ☠ Jenkem ☠ Kiwi Farms ☠ Kotaku ☠ League of Legends ☠ Lego ☠ Libertarianism ☠ LiveJournal ☠ Lonely ☠ LoveShy ☠ Mai Waifu ☠ Mass Shootings ☠ Men's rights activism ☠ Minecraft ☠ MLP Forums ☠ MMORPGs ☠ MGTOW ☠ MUDs ☠ My Little Pony ☠ My Tiny Dick ☠ Nice Guyism ☠ Nu metal ☠ Oculus Rift ☠ Oh Shiternet ☠ Online dating ☠ Online sex games ☠ Overwatch ☠ Plastic Crap ☠ Plenty of Fish ☠ /r9k/ ☠ Rick and Morty ☠ Roblox ☠ Rule 34 ☠ RuneScape ☠ School Shootings ☠ Second Life ☠ Self-Victimization ☠ Shy Boys IRL ☠ Silk Screen Goku Shirt ☠ Slayer ☠ Slipknot ☠ Sluthate ☠ Smogon University ☠ Social Justice ☠ Source Filmmaker ☠ South Park ☠ Sparkalloon ☠ Speakonia ☠ Star vs. the Forces of Evil ☠ Steven Universe ☠ Taking the Internet Too Seriously ☠ Team Fortress 2 ☠ That Guy With The Glasses ☠ The Anytown Show ☠ The Entersphere ☠ The Sims ☠ They Might Be Giants ☠ Tomb Raider ☠ Tool ☠ Transformers ☠ Tulpas ☠ Tumblr ☠ TV Tropes ☠ twenty one pilots ☠ Uncharted ☠ Uncle Grandpa ☠ Uncyclopedia ☠ Undertale ☠ Unikitty ☠ UTTP ☠ VidLii ☠ Virginity ☠ Virtual Youtubers ☠ Vloggerheads ☠ WatchMojo.com ☠ Weezer ☠ Wikimania ☠ Wizardchan ☠ World of Warcraft ☠ YIIK: A Post-Modern RPG ☠ YouTube