Amy Winehouse

This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT IT'S FINALLY DEAD!!!1

Amy, as she ~~is now~~ ~~was before dying~~ is now.

OH GOD HOW DID THIS GET HERE I AM NOT GOOD WITH COMPUTER

Amy "Wino" Crackhouse^✡ (née Amilée Chateau in Frenchese) is was (lol) a drug-addled, alcoholic Jewish attention whore wigger from England known less for her sultry jazz singing and moar for being a self-destructive drama queen of Pete Doherty proportions. When people saw her, they yelled "Who let this ugly piece of shit in here?". As tactfully pointed out by Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle, Amy looked like a RSPCA promo poster for neglected horses. They tried to make her go to rehab, but she said "no, no, no" and instead went to the bank with a load of cash up her butt from exploiting her own vulnerabilities. Musically, she was influenced entirely by black music, first 'borrowing' classic smoky jazz-club stylings for her first album and then stealing the Motown classics note-for-note on her second, and ripping of the Shangri Las "bad girl" persona.

Videos

Brought to you by a shitty Brazilian TV Show

	“	Protip: If a nigger calls you 'crackhouse', you know something is wrong.	„

A fitting final performance.

	“	I was panicking. I didn't know know how to help her. I was out of it on drugs as well - and was sobbing and crying out, 'Amy!'	„
	—Mr Winehouse

Previous Video | Next Video

Dead

Well, that was quick. On July 23rd, 2011, police removed a bag of drugs and needles from Miss Winehouse's home. They quickly passed it on to the coroner to perform the autopsy on it. This followed a month of drug-induced fail, including a performance in which she stumbled onto the staged, mumbled out a string of garbled and unintelligible lyrics, and where she "appeared removed from reality" throughout the entire performance. Her attendants, who were under instruction to remove all alcohol from her room, clearly failed. The performance was so bad and flew onto JewTube so quickly that she had no choice but to cancel her tour. These things happen when you don't want to go to rehab. This pathetic lifestyle will be a good lesson to all the little kiddies: If you are so weak willed that you fly off the rails every time you're even near being drunk or high, you will end up dead in a puddle of your own piss and vomit like this sad cunt. To honor her memory, the Left 4 Dead developers have made an infected in her honor. It's about as fucked up as her life style was. Amy became an heroine; her parents have been refused possession of her ashes in the future since they will be regarded a class-A drug.

Apparently, her body was so fucked up that not even the medical examiner could tell what the fuck killed her following the autopsy. We're going to have to wait even longer for the toxicology reports, which will only tell us what we already know.

"Amy Winehouse was set to start work on her new album this weekend...

Sadly though she only managed a few lines."

Gallery

Elvira?! Is that you?!
I just lost my baby fat
Caught on film smoking crack in front of a wedding photo
Amy, drunk off her ass.
Pissed again, but in this one she's a little more coherent...because she's also on meth.
There's tons of these on the internet
here's another
and another
The only time Amy Winehouse has ever been seen to eat anything, ever.
Amy was a crackbaby.