- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
He11sing920
a.k.a. the lead singer of 90's pop band Blues Traveller
The twin brother of Sean Fausz who possesses an ego the size of Texas and weighs more than PissedOffVideoGamer, Hellsing920 (Powerword: Emerson Prevost) started his Internet career writing unintelligent and painfully unfunny wrestling articles for ObsessedWithWrestling.com (now called OnlineWorldofWrestling.com) before deciding to make a name for himself on Youtube. Hellsing was around for not even all of 2007 until he got banned for copyright infringement for comparing himself to Peter Griffin. He then sought refuge at LiveVideo, where he considered it productive for a new game review to be released every six months. This shouldn't be a surprise since being lazy has always been Hellsing's cup of tea (read below).
Returning to evil ol' YouTube not even half a year later as He11sing920 ("11" instead of "LL") Hellsing tried to widen his audience by creating original rants and informative videos, bitching about shit no one cares about, including fans, anime, cellphones, golf, ICP, Chris-chan, Spax3, Sailormoonred1, TGWTG and The Dark Knight. Since then, Hellsing has regretted making these videos, yet he'll criticize guys like the Archfiend and BBC for making video after video attacking trivial stuff, despite the fact that he did the same thing in regards to the fanboys. Emer now spends his remaining days e-begging for people to buy him DVDs to view so he can uploads videos of himself watching the film and acting angry over how bad it is, since he's too lazy and cheap to download a movie from a site or buy a movie himself, despite now obtaining a full-time job at an indian casiono. Tragically, people actually do this. Much like Asalieri, Hellsing920 doesn't give a flying fuck about his fans, so why people donate movies to him (that he's likely not going to review anyway) is a mystery.
Reaction & Review (a.k.a. How to Cure Insomnia)
Hellsing920's current series is Reaction & Review where all he does is sit on his ass in front of a blank screen; shouts "Wow. Holy shit" to a movie that we never get to see; and then proceeds to bore the living shit out of viewers by stuttering, rambling and talking on and on for 15-20 minutes about a movie that could be expressed in 3 sentences. Yet he claims that this is more talented than whatever Jfreedan does. Of course, Hellsing will defend this style by stating that the lack of footage helps prevent possible copyright infringement and that it makes his reviews more authentic, which doesn't make a crock of sense because many popular and far more talented movie reviewers from Red Letter Media, TGWTG and GameTrailers have used movie footage in their reviews MULTIPLE times and they rarely had their videos pull down. So Emer, your theory that a lack of footage helps prevent copyright infringement and add substance to your review is worthless, because how are you supposed to produce substantial reviews without footage to back up your argument, you stupid motherfucker?
Hellsing's argument that he doesn't need footage to make his reviews authentic is further rendered invalid thus:
- 75% of the movies he's reviewing are shitty exploitation movies, B-list films and other obscure pieces of crap that are hardly available in public domain, let alone seen by the mass public, and thus many companies and distributors don't care if the footage is used.
- Movies that ARE available are no longer relevant in the copyright world (since some are between 5-45 years old) and are now all over the Internet.
As stated earlier, Hellsing fails to realize that without any footage to back up his arguments, he comes across talking like he's reading from cue cards in front of him, which leads some to question the legitimacy of his reviews, since it's highly doubtful that he recorded the whole entire experience of him watching a movie and then giving a review, as opposed to doing a number of takes for each reaction and review, which is more likely.
vs. TheBlackBusterCritic
Speaking of lack of legitimacy, in a more recent instance, he called out BlackBusterCritic to his livestream channel for a debate and not even give him the rights to directly talk to him, only to communicate via text chat. BBC made a video in response to such, which was flagged down for hate speech after he said Hellsing920 looked like a worn out old armchair, and BBC made a short response to the flagged video too. Naturally, Hellsing defended his actions, claiming that his livestream channel wouldn't allow him to let BBC talk, even if he wanted to. Of course, that doesn't explain how he could get his friends RandomDCE, Asalieri and UrinatingTree onto his stream. But let's just say for arguments' sake that Emer COULDN'T get BBC to talk on his stream; if that's the case, then maybe he shouldn’t have challenged the dude to come to his stream in the first place, cause when you challenge someone to a debate, knowing that you have the privilege to talk on the mic but the other person does not, then you've pretty much lost.
vs. The Game Boob
The "Catwoman" Review
Shortly after the BBC debacle, He11sing920 had a lesser-known but noteworthy feud with his former friend David Savage (a.k.a. The Game Boob). The feud started when He11sing posted a review on “Catwoman”, where he ludicrously praised the movie as “Purr-fectly cheesy” and “decent”. Yes, the same guy who regarded “The Dark Knight” as average, felt “Eraserhead” was pretentious and thought “Casino Royale” with Daniel Craig sucked said that one of the worst movies in cinema history was “decent”. He also smugly commented on what bad actors Sharon Stone and M'onique were in the picture. Don't believe me? Click here to watch his thoughtful "review" 
here.
After watching the video, the Game Boob criticized He11sing in the comment section, saying that the review sucked, that it needed better presentation and that he was becoming the new Armond White. Class act that he is, He11sing replied by bitching about how no one should watch something if they don't like it and that he doesn't know or care who Armond White is. In other words, according to Emer, it's alright for him to upload 10-minute bitchfests, saying shit about fanboys, game consoles and the content made by Spax3, Jfreedan, Doug Walker and Ray William Johnson, but when somebody says anything negative about HIS videos, then they are ignorant and don't know what they're talking about.
The Big Chat Incident
The feud between the Game Boob and self-proclaimed "D-List Celebrity" with a grade-F brain finally escalated in early 2012 when He11sing had a chat with many other Youtube users, which included the Game Boob, One176 and Stan Burdman. Just like he did on his bullshit fanboy chronicle and epic rant videos, He11sing tried to stir shit up, this time by saying that "Batman: Arkham Asylum" sucked, which goes to show that in He11sing's idiotic mind if a game or movie is good or popular, then it sucks ("Metroid Prime", "Resident Evil", the "Metal Gear Solid" series, Nolan's "Batman" movies, "Jaws", "Pink Floyd: The Wall", "Eraserhead", "Casino Royale"), but if a game or movie is crap and unpopular, then it's good or "decent" ("M.D. Geist", "Catwoman", "Dead Snow", "Howard the Duck" and "Dragonball: Evolution").
Unsurprisingly, this blew up in He11sing's face as everyone in the chat ripped him to shreds and made him look like the biggest idiot on the Internet. Poor little Emer was so butthurt that he enlisted the aid of his hero Asalieri to save him, as there's nothing more heartwarming than two unintelligent deadbeats banding together to fight the evil Big Chat for criticizing the innocent Emer. As a result, Asalieri and the Game Boob ceased to be friends and the two of them never spoke again, with the Game Boob even deleting the videos he made that featured Asalieri.
So in the span of one month, He11sing920 severed not only his friendship between him and the Game Boob, but also the relationship between the Game Boob and Asalieri. Way to go, doofus.
Way of the Sheep
When word broke out about the Big Chat incident, to the surprise of 0.0001% of the human population, all of Asalieri and He11sing920 fanboys rose up to defend their fallen heroes and even accuse The Game Boob for being the instigator of the feud. To add more fuel to the drama (as well as their egos), Asalieri and his friends told their drones the story about how the Game Boob was disrespectful to Asalieri's family during the production of "Punchdickia", because, let's face it, if you're a father like Asalieri, who spends more time uploading whiny videos about Internet celebrities, replying to negative comments, cursing at game reviewers and stirring up Internet drama than hanging out with your wife and two daughters, then you're fit to be a parent, but if you are "disrespectful" to your family, curse you and may you burn in hell.
Asalieri and He11sing920 fanboys were so butthurt that one of the lemmings even attempted to sabotage the ED article on Asalieri, only to receive the banhammer and become a life-long member of the illustrious group of "Banned Losers". Understandably, a casual viewer would look at this situation and think that it's just one guy providing a different side of the story, but this is an Asalieri fanboy we're talking about here and, as everyone knows, Asalieri fanboys are not exactly known for their intelligence and ability to separate truth from fiction.
To further demonstrate the stupidity of fanboys like this guy, here's a screenshot of the man crying over how horrible the folks at ED are, because only an Asalieri and He11sing drone would think that it's not "excessive vandalism" for trying to sabotage an article and write nonsensical, incomprehensible grammar in its place:
Aftermath
When the whole incident finally died down, the Game Boob deleted his Youtube account and wound up posting his content on blip.tv while Asalieri2 continued to embarrass himself and become Youtube's designated lolcow by posting a series of impeccably researched videos making fun of game reviewers and their fans. As for He11sing920, he never fully recovered from the "Big Chat" incident as many fans started to realize that the guy had nothing intelligent to say in his videos and that the only people willing to praise his videos like they were something out of Spielberg were his friends, sock puppets and mindless drones. In an irony that is nothing short of hilarious, the man who long ago made videos attacking Internet users for not accepting criticism wound up undermining his own credibility by not accepting criticism himself.
But even if the Game Boob feud never happened, it still remains a mystery as to how, exactly, Hellsing920 actually has a YouTube career, since merely looking at this morbidly obese blob of a man's grotesque bulk should make it obviously apparent to anybody that he will have nothing of insight or interest to add to any debate. Nobody should care what somebody who looks like Hellsing920 thinks about anything, let alone some shitty old video game or crappy horror movie that only four other people have seen. It is unknown how he even has the slightest motivation to do anything for the matter, as in every video he doesn't seem remotely interested in the reviews he's currently doing, maybe it's just too much effort for a fat fuck like him to do a show that is so effortless to create, that even a monkey with AIDS can outperform him.
The guy even has his own Television & Tropes page, which shows that even retarded fans exist beyond Youtube.
Previous Quote | Next Quote
See Also
- Obesity
- Man The Harpoons
- Flaggot
- Talentless
- Video Game Reviewers
- Asalieri - A "big" friend of his.
External Links
 |
||
|
|
||
