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HappyCabbie
Warning! This user is a YouTube employee and can |
Starting out with inoffensive videos about how to make balloons, Cabbie quickly ditched his truckerjob for that Jew gold of YouTube. These videos pleased the YouTube retards, so he became partner. However these videos didn't give enough money to feed his fat ass and pay rent, so he decided to live together with Nick_Bravo. And then hilarious drama ensued.
When this fell through he decided to show off his fat mantits to the world, and the faggots of YouTube loved it. Now this wasn't enough for FattyCabbie, so he wanted to get in on the atheism drama as well. And boy did that bite him in the ass. Instead of actually being able to live on YouTube welfare, he actually had to go back to get a job, since his videos could only garner 1000 views despite his 25,000 subscribers. His venture into the YouTube atheism really only helped to see how much of a retard Cabbie really is.
Foot Fetish
Yes, our fat hero has a foot fetish. This is because he is unable to see his own feet.
The reason why FattyCabbie can't see his feet
Israel not in Asia
Last_Thursday Cabbie proved to the world that Israel is in the continent of Middle_East, and that Israel couldn't be in Asia, because they look like Sand_Niggers and not like Asians.
The Nick Bravo drama
Because SadFatty is such a fat idle bastard as well as a sad lonely fuck on account of nobody ever being able to ever get close to him, while at the same time, always being being stood right next to him, no matter where in the room they stood, Fatty decided to kill two birds with one stone and get himself a dancing gimp manslave, so when the opportunity arose and Corky suddenly found himself homeless, he invited him to stay at his home so he could get him to clean the puddles of piss and piles of urine soaked toilet paper off the bathroom floor where Fatty deliberately left them so that Corky had something to do while fatty was out at work molesting corpses at the local morgue.
Things worked out well at first as fatty taught Corky how to ape around in front of the camera like a trained chimp, just as long as they shared the same bedroom, separated by only a curtain, allegedly so that he could jerk off to Corky's feet should the urge arise, however that would be a physical impossibility given that fatty hasn't been able to get his hands anywhere near his own cock since the late eighties. Eventually this got too much for poor Corky and no doubt spending each night with just a flimsy curtain between himself and the sweat covered flatulent elephant that was less than a foot away on the other side of the curtain sent him running for the door.
It says a lot when a man will rather live in a battered, broken down van parked up on bricks in a parking lot than spend another night in fatty's apartment.
This only resulted in hilarious drama that is still going on to this day, yet it didn't stop fatty from feeling so bad about everything that happened that, despite not having a pot to piss in financially, he still went out and spent all his lunch money on buying Corky a brand new laptop.
SadFatty now hates Corky with a passion because he possesses Fatty's powerword and he's heard Fatty fart the theme tune to Cheers during his sleep.
Friends with Brett Keane
Besides Nick Bravo, Happy also decided to become friends with another of YouTube's most loathed and hated scum, Brett_Keane, presumably because they both had an avid interest in flagging videos and getting channels closed down. Even though Brett has attacked Happy repeatedly, Cabbie is still defending all of Brett's actions and insists that he still wants to be Brett's friend to the point of making video after video and tweeting tweet after tweet, begging him to take him back and be nice to him again.
Not surprisingly Brett's reply has so far been along the lines of "fuck that shit" as he repeatedly posts one video after another showing Cabbie being a lying bag of shit in his video site, BrettKeaneVideo.com because the truth is that all that Brett was ever interested in was getting a partnered Youtube Channel even if it meant kissing Cabbies ringpiece which means that he must have wanted that channel really badly.
Naturally, now that Cabbie managed to get Brett's channel shitcanned by using it to flag down countless channels advertising porn and get rich quick schemes, Brett suddenly has no need for Cabbie's services.
Seriously, how fucking depressed, lonely and unloved do you have to be to beg Brett Keane to be friends with you?
It must be like wishing for a turd to be tasty, in that it won't be, and either way, you'll still end up eating shit and nobody will want to come near you.
Of course, this brings us nicely to the next point...
I AM GETTING A GUN
Happy thinks he isn't safe with a nigger running the White House, so he got a gun to defend himself against dangerous carrots and diets.
It brings a new meaning to "Eats, Shoots and Leaves"
In reality Cabbie just wants a gun so that he can be a hero. Of course the only reason that anyone sold him one was because they misheard him and thought that he said "an hero"
Naturally in any armed confrontation, Cabbie would be more use as something to simply hide behind given that, owing to his ample bulk, any gunman that can hit the side of a house blindfolded could put a bullet in Cabbie before he could draw his weapon, even if they tried to miss as his gravitational pull would bend the projectile's trajectory towards him in the same way that the moon prevents asteroids from hitting the earth.
Seriously, the last childrens entertainer who got dressed up as a clown and made balloon animals that they allowed to own a gun was John Wayne Gacy and he went to the gas chamber when they found the decomposing corpses of thirty young men hidden under his house after he'd tied them up and buggered them to death.
Maybe Corky had a lucky escape?
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Leaving YouTube
After receiving a couple of DMCA's
and phone calls that resulted in him being fired from his new trucking job Fatass, decided to take the road of honor and flee YouTube. But because nobody cared, he had to create a sock-account to wish him godspeed. Of course it only took 3 weeks before Fatass in best Brett Keane style returned to YouTube.
Of course the truth, which HappyFlaggy wouldn't know if you put it between two pieces of bread and smothered it with mayo, is that, according to Socialblade, Flaggy's subscribers are abandoning him faster than a pie with legs as he's the only YouTube partner that actually loses subscribers every time he makes a new video.
Seriously, people actually stopped unsubscribing from him when he said he was leaving and started leaving again once he came back.
Gallery
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Flagging doesn't apply to ME :( :(
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Ohh Onision, please let me suck your cock
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Flaggers beware!!
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Please flag him
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Caught again, Happy.
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No you take the blame, no you, no you..
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I will defend Brett Keane even though he has wronged everyone, but nobody shall defend Corky.
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When he doesn't sucks on feet, he practices to suck cock
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This is perhaps the most disgusting gif ever.
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Lulz he is fat
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Why can't I get slim?
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Usually 1 or 2, but no less than under 5 bags of chips a day
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Sending Know Your Meme a suggestion on reply girls.
See also
External links
Cabbies Socialblade Stats
http://socialblade.com/youtube/user/HappyCabbie
http://socialblade.com/youtube/user/FacepalmResponse
http://socialblade.com/youtube/user/TheHealthyChannel
http://socialblade.com/youtube/user/SuperVlogger
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