Jeff Weise

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Jeff Weise (aka weise) was an honest-to-God Injun, as well as an angsty teen from Minnesota. These three defining characteristics --His Injun-hood, his angsty teen-hood, and his Minnessotan-hood-- formed the greatest trifecta of Native American rage since Geronimo, leading to the Red Lake High School shoot'em-up. Like most angsty teens and all High School shooters, Jeff was a massive fanboi of famous celebrities Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold.

The IRL drama

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	“	I try not to be aggressive in most situations, I'll use force if I have to, but I'm not about to go out and pick a fight. I'm mostly defensive, I'll defend myself if someone tries something but other than that I'm a peaceful person.	„
	—Jeff Weise, moments before starting a shoot-out with the cops.

On March 21, 2005, Weise stole 2 handguns and a shotgun and pwned his grandparents. He then stole his grandfather's police cruiser, crashed it into his school, and pwned 7 more classmates before self-pwning. Newspapers and TV stations around the nation immediately jumped on the story and masturbated furiously to the topic of school-shootings and violence for several weeks until, flushed and weak in the knees, they finally moved back to the severely more important news schedule of arbitrary missing white women and Lindsay Lohan's latest eating disorder. Naturally, this brief media frenzy ensured a new round of pointless IRL drama combined with the typical routine criticism of Marilyn Manson and the temporary banning of all Hot Topic merchandise from school grounds. Somewhere along the line, some concerned mothers probably got involved as well, but that's shit only they care about.

On the Internets

Before killing himself, Weise was known for his various activities on the internets. He made many posts on various Nazi websites (knowing that Hitler didn't give a fuck about Native Americans and only cared about Germany). Weise also created several violent flash videos on Newgrounds and started an LJ account, where he made 3 brief posts inquiring about cutting, alcoholism, grammatical errors, and other shit nobody cares about.

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Graded Score

Graded score

Kills:	9/20
Accuracy:	15/20
Style:	18/20 bonus for looting armor & gun from guard
Butthurt:	17/20 Caused a moderate shitstorm. Nobody was white so noone cared.
Bonus:	18/20 Stopped his suicide attempt and saved up his angst for greater things.
Total score: 77/100 (C)

Maybe if you were white someone would care..

Gallery

Gallery About missing Pics

Delicious cake! Also exploitable.
Grimy injun attention whoring.
Going into diabetic shock.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Deep contemplation.
Nothing compared to the blazn azn.
trollface weise.
Somehow someone made fanart of him!

Weise Saved Red Lake!

	“	This kid did more to clean up the Red Lake Reservation than any politician, law enforcement officer, or legal eagle ever did. He alerted these people to a grave mistake in their way of thinking. He showed us how flawed the "old ways" were. We were a people stuck in a fantasy we had created to help us forget the humdrum lives we led. The "Indian" way killed more of my people than this kid ever did. Thanks to this kid, we now have a working police force. We now have a real corrections facility. We now have a judicial system that hands down actual sentences for crimes that are legally policed. We never had that before. All we had were fat locals who wore uniforms and confiscated beer. Today, they investigate crimes. You can file a report and it's taken seriously. THIS WAS NOT THE CASE 10 YEARS AGO!! This is a change that Jeff Weise made for us. I seriously wish we'd put up a statue for him. He changed this reservation more than any other person in our history. He modernized us.	„

This comment was left on the wikipedia discussion article by a random red lake citizen. How he or she was able to afford internet is a mystery, but the genie is out of the bottle..

External links

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