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John Earnest

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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John Earnest
Born Born June 8, 1999
Nationality Americunt  
Highscore Killed 1, injured 3
Style FPS single player
An hero? No (V&)
Occupation School chess club president


Only a month after the Christchurch mosque shootings, A NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS: John Timothy Earnest is a random American 25-year old loser who became the first disciple of Saint Tarrant after shooting up the Chabad of Poway Synagogue in the name of saving the Aryan race from Jews or some shit like that. He livestreamed it but the dumb cracker set the stream as private so nobody could watch it.

Normally, we'd put the subject's name in bold in the lead sectiom but why bother, honestly? No one will ever remember this guy and he is hardly important. The (((media))) sort of yawned and lost interest after day 1 when it turned out the shooter despised Trump, so there was no chance of spinning it into a Trump-bashing opportunity. Israel cashed in a bit by blaming Arabs but Jews gonna Jew. It barely even sparked any buzz on the old mass shooting meme.

John is only remembered for being the first mass shooter/retard inspired by Brenton Tarrant, and even then that it only by weirds like you and I. Labelling John a terrorist would be an insult to all those who've sacrificed their lives for the advancement of the art; this cocky 8chan twat couldn't even score past a 60-year-old pensioner minding her own business. He is further proof that Californians really shouldn't get involved in anything gun-related.

Background

Wanting to be remembered like Brenton, John’s final messages on /pol/.
Stuff he spray pointed onto the parking lot of the mosque he set alight.

John was radicalized after joining 8chan's /pol/ and immediately feeling right at home. Despite actually being polite, fairly popular and having a bright future ahead of him, he became an angry “White supremacist” basement-dweller in just under 18 months. Inspired by the heroic deeds of Robert Bowers and Saint Brenton Tarrant, John sat himself down and wrote a terrible manifesto full of even worserer shitposting than Tarrant's. Since he was just delusional about being the vanguard of a new race war, he padded his writings with ludicrously self-aggrandizing statements. The cringiest of these was about how he hoped to be released from prison when ZOG was overthrown, and would then lead soldiers against the Enemies of the White Race.

He tried setting fire to a mosque, but hadn't realized that sandniggers sleep inside the goddamned things. So the Muzzies woke up, put the fire out while yawning, and went back to sleep. He boasted in his manifesto about getting away with it, but the sad truth is the Islams probably thought it was some homeless bum's campfire and never realized they'd been attacked at all. This brings us to the Day Of Action itself.

Shooting

After making a mandatory post on /pol/, John got tooled up, drove to a local synagogue (which he believed to be his local ZOG branch), and walked in with adrenaline surging through his thin teenage veins like spinach through Popeye. This probably explains why he then sprayed-and-prayed like a hyperactive toddler's first time with bubble-mix, and caused about as much damage. He blew the fingers off a rabbi's hand and took out one whole Jewess. At that point, his rifle jammed and some jacked jew twice the size of John finally noticed him and shouted at him loudly, causing Earnest to shit himself and run away. After fleeing the scene, Earnest actually called the cops on himself and was apprehended after surrendering without a struggle. Even Couch Cuck had more fucking dignity than this.

FINAL TALLY: 1.015 deaths (subject to downward revision if the Rabbi's fingers get stitched back on). He didn't even shoot himself out of shame and self-loathing. If this is the alt-right's idea of gaining popularity, then they should find a better PR guy.

Loadout

Class Setup
Item Accessories/Bonus
  • Perk 1: Stopping Power
  • The power to stop only 1 opponent.

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count: 1/20 ''(3 injured) - Even unarmed kikes were a challenge for this fag
Accuracy: 0/20 ''Hit or Miss, I guess you never miss, huh?
Style: 0/20 'BAWWWW manifesto, typical 4cuck's /pol/ user'
Butthurt: 1/20 'The usual "false flag" bawwing in 4chan, caused lulz for jews'
Bonus: 10/20 'Autist with rage'
Total Score: 12/100 ((F))
DID WORSE THAN SOFA CUCK!!!!
See full ranking


Wanted Level:
___________________

___________________


Mall Cop



Aftermath

What was the internets reaction? Nothing. No one was impressed. On 8chan, an FBI agent feebly tried to blame the whole thing on Putin, but couldn't drum up much interest. Earnest does however manage to claw back one six-millionth of a point for cred, because he made PewDiePie feel so butthurt about the "Subscribe" meme, that the Pied Piper of Sweden made a sadface video about disowning the whole thing (because that tactic worked so incredibly well when Matt Furie killed off Pepe.) John was arrested (obviously) and was sentenced to life imprisonment.

Gallery

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

External Links

File:File:JewDiePie.png
PewDiePie is ZOG confirm?

(Archived: 1 2)

(Archived: 1 2)

(Archived: 1 2)

(Archived: 1 2)


John Earnest is part of a series on Are You Ready? [GAME OVERInsert Coin] Go!
Single Player Elite Hall of Fame

Adam LanzaAnders Behring BreivikAndrew KehoeAriana Grande MassacreBaruch GoldsteinBrenton TarrantCampo Elías DelgadoCho Seung-HuiDevin Patrick KelleyDong YanglingGabriel WortmanJack Gilbert GrahamJakrapanth ThommaJames HubertyLuby's massacreMartin BryantMutsuo ToiNice Truck Attack 2016Omar MateenPanya KhamrabPatrick CrusiusReina Nightclub MassacreSalvador RamosShinji AobaStephen PaddockTed BundyVladislav RoslyakovWilliam UnekWoo Bum-kon

Single Player Amateur Division

Aaron AlexisAlexandre BissonnetteAkbarzhon JalivovAli David SonbolyAnderson Lee AldrichAndrea PignaniAnton Lundin PetterssonArtyom KazantsevAudrey HaleBrandon Scott HoleBreda Highschool MassacreBreitscheidplatzBrenda Ann SpencerBruce Jeffrey PardoCapital Gazette ShootingCharles Whitman's TumorChris Harper-MercerConnor BettsDallas Police ShootingsDarrell BrooksDavid KatzDavid KozákDavid Malcolm GrayDeath to Traitors, Freedom for BritainDerrick BirdDeWayne CraddockDimitrios PagourtzisDimitrious GargasoulasDmitry VinogradovDylann Storm RoofElliot RodgerÉric BorelEuler Fernando GrandolphoFlemming NielsenFort HoodGabe ParkerGeorge SodiniGian Luigi FerriIan David LongIlnaz GalyavievJake DavisonJames Alex FieldsJames HolmesJared Lee LoughnerJason DaltonJason RodriguezJaylen FrybergJeffrey DahmerJeff WeiseJesse OsborneJiverly VoongJoe StackJohn Russell HouserJohn Wilkes BoothJonathan SapirmanJosef FritzlKhalid MasoodKimveer GillKip KinkelKongsberg Bow and Arrow RampageLam Kor WanMamoru TakumaMarc LépineMark BartonMark EssexMartin PeyerlMatthew de GroodMichael CarnealMichael Kenneth McLendonMichael RyanMikese MorseMr. SaariNathan GaleNghtmrchld26Nikolas CruzNoah EsbensenOrlando HarrisOtoya YamaguchiPatrick PurdyPayton GendronPekka-Eric AuvinenPetri GerdtRamadan Van ManRandy Robert StairRichard SpeckRobert BalesRobert BowersRobert CardRobert CrimoRobert HawkinsRobert LongRobert SteinhäuserRuslan AkhtyamovRyan PalmeterSantino William LeganSatoshi UematsuSayfullo SaipovStephen KazmierczakThe Twinkie ManThomas Matthew CrooksThomas Watt HamiltonTim KretschmerTimothy HendronTimur BekmansurovTJ LaneTobias RathjenTrystan Andrew TerrellTyler PetersonUnabomberWade Michael PageWalter SeifertWellington Menezes de OliveiraZhao ZeweiZug Massacre

Multiplayer Co-Op Mode

1-14 Jakarta AttacksAcademy ManiacsBoston Marathon BombingCharlie HebdoColumbineCrocus City Hall MassacreHiroshima and NagasakiISIS Paris Attack 13-11Jews did WTCLondon Bridge Attack 2017Medianeira School ShootingPearl HarborSan Bernardino ShootingSri Lanka 2019 Terrorist AttacksSuzano School ShootingTimothy McVeighZhaodong Massacre

Civilization and Great Prophets

Adolf HitlerAugusto PinochetAum ShinrikyoCharles MansonHeaven's GateHolocaustJonestownJoseph StalinKim Il-sungMao ZedongOsama bin LadenPol PotSaddam HusseinWacoWorld War II

Banned From Scoring

Alex HribalAnthony WarnerAnton BichivinAsa CoonBen MoynihanBilly MitchellBrandon CleggBrian Isaack ClydeCharles BishopClay DukeDillon CosseyFaisal ShahzadFrank JamesHayden JagstHugo JacksonIlya IvanistovJohn EarnestKyle RittenhouseLaaiti EkenstéenLindsay Kantha SouvannarathLogan ClarkMAGABomberMikhail PivnevNasim AghdamNicky ReillyPhilip ManshausRichard ReidRyan RouthSam HydeSebastian BosseSol PaisStephan BallietTodd RogersWillem Van SpronsenWilliam AtchisonYou

 

John Earnest
is part of a series on
Brenton Tarrant

Saint Brenton Tarrant
Disciples John EarnestPatrick CrusiusPhilip ManshausStephan BallietNathaniel VeltmanHugo JacksonPayton GendronJuraj KrajčíkAnderson Lee AldrichRyan PalmeterArda Küçükyetim
Electee Otoya YamaguchiPatrick PurdyAnders Behring BreivikWade Michael PageDylann Storm RoofAnton Lundin PetterssonAlexandre BissonnetteDarren Osborne
See Also 8chanAustralian ShitposterCandace OwensFacebookPewDiePieRemove KebabSri Lanka 2019 Terrorist Attacks
John Earnest
is part of a series on
Jews
Patriarchs [-+]

Adam KatzAdam L. GoldsteinAl FrankenAlan MooreAlbert EinsteinAlex HirschAlicia VikanderAliza ShvartsAmy PascalAmy SchumerAndrew BreitbartAndy KaufmanAngelina JolieAnita SarkeesianAriana GrandeAyn RandBaruch GoldsteinBeastie BoysBen GarrisonBen ShapiroBen SteinBernie GoetzBernie MadoffBernie SandersBobby KotickBourg ProductionsBrie LarsonCasey NeistatChelsea ClintonChris SavinoChuck SchumerDan HarmonDan SchneiderDaniel BenfieldDanny ElfmanDaron NefcyDavid DraimanDavid KatzDebbie SchlusselDianne FeinsteinDonald DrumpfDoomentioDylan KleboldEd RendellEinsidlerEli KozinElliot RodgerElon MuskEmiNetEric AbramovEthan KleinFrank MillerGeorge SorosGirlvinylGreville JannerHarvey WeinsteinHenry KissingerHenry MakowHoward SternIce PoseidonJacob StellmachJared KnabenbauerJarlaxleArtemisJeff GoldblumJeffrey EpsteinJennifer LawrenceJerry SeinfeldJerry SpringerJesusJewWarioJim SterlingJoe LiebermanJohn KricfalusiJohn OliverJon StewartJonathan YanivJoshua Conner MoonJussie SmollettJustin RoilandKevin SmithKumichooKurt EichenwaldLaaiti EkenstéenLauren FaustLena DunhamLinda MackLyor CohenMandoPonyMark ZuckerbergMatt StoneMaury PovichMia JaninMichael BloombergsavetheinternetMichael RichardsMichael SavageMila KunisMiriam LazewatskyMonica LewinskyMonica RialMosesMoshe FinkbergMundaneMattNatalie PortmanNeil GaimanNihilistic SnakePamela GellerPewDiePiePACKGODQuinton ReviewsRachael MacFarlaneRahm EmanuelR@ygoldRebecca SugarRoman PolanskiRon JeremyRupert MurdochSacha Baron CohenSam HydeSeth MacFarlaneSeth RogenSusan WojcickiTara StrongThe Amazing RacistThe Fine BrosThe Krassenstein BrothersTim BurtonTodd GoldmanTodd HowardTony GoldmarkTrevor NoahWeevWil WheatonWoody AllenYandereDevYank Barry

Habitats [-+]
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