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John Earnest: Difference between revisions
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!colspan="2" style="background-color:#B0C4DE; text-align:center; vertical-align:middle; font-size:110%;"|John Earnest | !colspan="2" style="background-color:#B0C4DE; text-align:center; vertical-align:middle; font-size:110%;"|John Earnest | ||
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John Timothy Earnest is a random American {{age|1999|06|08}}-year old [[Loser|loser]] who shot up the [[Jews|Chabad of Poway Synagogue]] in [[ | Only a month after the [[Christchurch|Christchurch mosque shootings]], <span class="blink" style="color:#f00;font-weight:bold;">A NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS</span>: John Timothy Earnest is a random American {{age|1999|06|08}}-year old [[Loser|loser]] who shot up the [[Jews|Chabad of Poway Synagogue]] in the name of saving the [[White devil|Aryan race]] from [[Jews]] or some shit like that. He livestreamed it but the dumb cracker [[retard|set the stream as private]] so nobody could watch it. | ||
Normally, we'd put the subject's name in bold in the | Normally, we'd put the subject's name in bold in the lead sectiom but why bother, honestly? No one will ever remember this guy and he is hardly important. The [[Old Media|(((media)))]] sort of yawned and lost interest after day 1 when it turned out the shooter despised [[The Donald|Trump]], so there was no chance of spinning it into a Trump-bashing opportunity. Israel cashed in a bit by blaming Arabs but [[Typical|Jews gonna Jew]]. It barely even sparked any buzz on the old [[Mass shooting|mass shooting]] meme. | ||
Labelling | John is only remembered for being the first [[mass shooter]]/retard inspired by [[Brenton Tarrant]], and even then that it only by weirds like you and I. Labelling John a [[Terrorist|terrorist]] would be an insult to all those who've sacrificed their lives for the advancement of the art; this cocky 8chan twat couldn't even score past a 60-year-old pensioner minding her own business. He is further proof that [[Retards|Californians]] really shouldn't get involved in anything [[Assault rifle|gun]]-related. | ||
== | ==Background== | ||
{{Killers}} | {{Killers}} | ||
Inspired by the heroic deeds of [[Robert Bowers|Robert Bowers]] and [[Brenton Tarrant|Brenton Tarrant]], | [[File:John_Earnest_-_Original_Thread_Screenshot_13192921.jpg|John Earnest - Original Thread Screenshot 13192921.jpg|thumb|center|Wanting to be remembered like Brenton, John’s final messages on /pol/.|250px]] | ||
[[file:EarnestFire.jpeg|thumb|right|Stuff he spray pointed onto the parking lot of the mosque he set alight.|250px]] | |||
John was radicalized after joining [[8chan|8chan]]'s /[[Poll|pol]]/ and immediately feeling right at home. Despite actually being polite, fairly popular and having a bright future ahead of him, he became [[Alt-Right|an angry “White supremacist” basement-dweller]] in just under 18 months. Inspired by the heroic deeds of [[Robert Bowers|Robert Bowers]] and [[Brenton Tarrant|Saint Brenton Tarrant]], John sat himself down and wrote a [[Shitpost|terrible manifesto]] full of even worserer shitposting than Tarrant's. Since he was just [[delusional]] about being the vanguard of a new race war, he padded his writings with [[USI|ludicrously self-aggrandizing statements]]. The cringiest of these was about how he hoped to be released from prison when [[ZOG|ZOG]] was overthrown, and would then lead soldiers against the Enemies of the White Race. | |||
He tried [[Arson|setting fire]] to a mosque, but hadn't realized that [[Sandniggers|sandniggers]] sleep inside the goddamned things. So the Muzzies woke up, put the fire out while yawning, and went back to sleep. He boasted in his manifesto about [[Getting away with it|getting away with it]], but the sad truth is the Islams probably thought it was some homeless bum's campfire and never realized they'd been attacked at all. This brings us to the Day Of Action itself. | |||
== Shooting == | |||
[[file:EarnestSiege.jpeg|right|250px]] | |||
After making a mandatory post on /pol/, John got [[Mecha-Dildo|tooled up]], drove to a local synagogue (which he believed to be his local ZOG branch), and walked in with adrenaline surging through his thin teenage veins like spinach through Popeye. This probably explains why he then [[Irony|sprayed-and-prayed]] like a hyperactive toddler's first time with bubble-mix, and caused about as much damage. He blew the fingers off a rabbi's hand and took out one whole Jewess. At that point, his rifle jammed and some jacked jew twice the size of John finally noticed him and [[Literally|shouted at him loudly]], causing Earnest to [[Pussybitch|shit himself]] and [[GTFO|run away]]. After fleeing the scene, Earnest actually called the cops on himself and was apprehended after surrendering without a struggle. Even [[William Atchison|Couch Cuck]] had more fucking dignity than this. | |||
<b>FINAL TALLY</b>: 1.015 deaths (subject to downward revision if the Rabbi's fingers get stitched back on). He didn't even shoot himself out of shame and self-loathing. If this is the alt-right's idea of gaining popularity, then they should find a better PR guy. | <b>FINAL TALLY</b>: 1.015 deaths (subject to downward revision if the Rabbi's fingers get stitched back on). He didn't even shoot himself out of shame and self-loathing. If this is the alt-right's idea of gaining popularity, then they should find a better PR guy. | ||
== | ==Loadout== | ||
<div align="center"> | <div align="center"> | ||
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| | | | ||
*'''Primary''': [[Assault rifle|AR-15]] | *'''Primary''': [[Assault rifle|AR-15]] | ||
<center>[[ | <center>[[file:GTA4IconsM4Rifle.png |90px]]</center> | ||
| | | | ||
*A deadly weapon even under California's [[Big Brother|Orwellian]] [[Communist|gun laws]]—just not in this [[Fail|faggot's hands]]. | *A deadly weapon even under California's [[Big Brother|Orwellian]] [[Communist|gun laws]]—just not in this [[Fail|faggot's hands]]. | ||
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| | | | ||
*'''Perk 2''': Overkill | *'''Perk 2''': Overkill | ||
<center>[[File:Cod_perk_overkill.png | <center>[[File:Cod_perk_overkill.png]]</center> | ||
| | | | ||
*It's over after 1 kill. | *It's over after 1 kill. | ||
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| | | | ||
*'''Perk 3''': Extreme Conditioning | *'''Perk 3''': Extreme Conditioning | ||
<center>[[File:Cod_perk_extreme_conditioning.png | <center>[[File:Cod_perk_extreme_conditioning.png]]</center> | ||
| | | | ||
*Double sprint time to use [[JoJo|Joestars family technique]] after pussying out when his rifle jammed. | *Double sprint time to use [[JoJo|Joestars family technique]] after pussying out when his rifle jammed. | ||
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</div> | </div> | ||
==Graded Score== | |||
== | |||
{{GradedScore|1|''(3 injured) - Even unarmed [[Kikes|kikes]] were a challenge for [[Nerd Rage|this fag'']]|0|''[[Forced Meme|Hit or Miss, I guess you never miss, huh?'']]|0|''[[BAWWWW]] manifesto, typical 4cuck's [[Pol|/pol/]] user''|1|''The usual "[[False flag|false flag]]" bawwing in 4chan, caused lulz for jews''|10|''[[Chris-Chan|Autist with rage]]''|12|(<b>F</b>)|DID WORSE THAN [[William Atchison|SOFA CUCK]]!!!!|}} | {{GradedScore|1|''(3 injured) - Even unarmed [[Kikes|kikes]] were a challenge for [[Nerd Rage|this fag'']]|0|''[[Forced Meme|Hit or Miss, I guess you never miss, huh?'']]|0|''[[BAWWWW]] manifesto, typical 4cuck's [[Pol|/pol/]] user''|1|''The usual "[[False flag|false flag]]" bawwing in 4chan, caused lulz for jews''|10|''[[Chris-Chan|Autist with rage]]''|12|(<b>F</b>)|DID WORSE THAN [[William Atchison|SOFA CUCK]]!!!!|}} | ||
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</div><br> | </div><br> | ||
</center> | </center> | ||
==Aftermath== | |||
[[File:Tumbleweed.gif|center]] | |||
What was the internets reaction? Nothing. [[Noone cares|No one was impressed]]. On [[8chan|8chan]], an [[FBI|FBI]] agent feebly tried to [https://ceinquiry.wordpress.com/2019/06/17/fbi-8chan/| blame the whole thing] on [[Vladimir Putin|Putin]], but couldn't drum up much interest. Earnest does however manage to claw back one six-millionth of a point for cred, because he made [[PewDiePie|PewDiePie]][[Jew|✡]] feel so [[Butthurt|butthurt]] about the "Subscribe" meme, that the Pied Piper of Sweden made a sadface video about disowning the whole thing (because that tactic [[Sarcasm|worked so incredibly well]] when [[Pepe|Matt Furie killed off Pepe]].) John was arrested (obviously) and was sentenced to life imprisonment. | |||
<center>{{frame|<youtube>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ah5MYGQBYRo</youtube>|border=#ffcc00|background=#ffcc00}}</center> | |||
==Gallery== | |||
{{cg|'''Gallery'''|fcgallery|center|<gallery perrow="5"> | |||
file:EarnestVanned.jpeg|[[v&]]. | |||
File:EarnestCourt.jpeg | |||
file:EarnestCourt2.jpeg | |||
file:EarnestSmile.jpeg| | |||
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5"> | |||
file:EarnestHoodie.jpeg | |||
file:EarnestBald.jpeg | |||
file:EarnestSweaty.jpeg|You can tell he’s in California, he is literally red | |||
file:EarnesrShurtless.jpeg|He will fuck your shit up | |||
file:EarnestShades.jpeg|😎 | |||
</gallery>|}} | |||
{{cg|'''Memes'''|fcgallery|center|<gallery perrow="5"> | |||
File:IMG 8545.jpeg | |||
File:Internettoughkid.jpg|Earliest sighting | |||
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5"> | |||
The rest of pics go here. | |||
</gallery>|}} | |||
==External Links== | ==External Links== | ||
Revision as of 00:28, 22 November 2023
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Add pixplzkthnx to John Earnest Plz to be adding some pix now kthnx. Consult the image selection process for help, or just google up some pix.Plz remove this notice once there are plenty of pix. |
| John Earnest | |||||||||||||
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Only a month after the Christchurch mosque shootings, A NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS: John Timothy Earnest is a random American 25-year old loser who shot up the Chabad of Poway Synagogue in the name of saving the Aryan race from Jews or some shit like that. He livestreamed it but the dumb cracker set the stream as private so nobody could watch it.
Normally, we'd put the subject's name in bold in the lead sectiom but why bother, honestly? No one will ever remember this guy and he is hardly important. The (((media))) sort of yawned and lost interest after day 1 when it turned out the shooter despised Trump, so there was no chance of spinning it into a Trump-bashing opportunity. Israel cashed in a bit by blaming Arabs but Jews gonna Jew. It barely even sparked any buzz on the old mass shooting meme.
John is only remembered for being the first mass shooter/retard inspired by Brenton Tarrant, and even then that it only by weirds like you and I. Labelling John a terrorist would be an insult to all those who've sacrificed their lives for the advancement of the art; this cocky 8chan twat couldn't even score past a 60-year-old pensioner minding her own business. He is further proof that Californians really shouldn't get involved in anything gun-related.
Background
John was radicalized after joining 8chan's /pol/ and immediately feeling right at home. Despite actually being polite, fairly popular and having a bright future ahead of him, he became an angry “White supremacist” basement-dweller in just under 18 months. Inspired by the heroic deeds of Robert Bowers and Saint Brenton Tarrant, John sat himself down and wrote a terrible manifesto full of even worserer shitposting than Tarrant's. Since he was just delusional about being the vanguard of a new race war, he padded his writings with ludicrously self-aggrandizing statements. The cringiest of these was about how he hoped to be released from prison when ZOG was overthrown, and would then lead soldiers against the Enemies of the White Race.
He tried setting fire to a mosque, but hadn't realized that sandniggers sleep inside the goddamned things. So the Muzzies woke up, put the fire out while yawning, and went back to sleep. He boasted in his manifesto about getting away with it, but the sad truth is the Islams probably thought it was some homeless bum's campfire and never realized they'd been attacked at all. This brings us to the Day Of Action itself.
Shooting
After making a mandatory post on /pol/, John got tooled up, drove to a local synagogue (which he believed to be his local ZOG branch), and walked in with adrenaline surging through his thin teenage veins like spinach through Popeye. This probably explains why he then sprayed-and-prayed like a hyperactive toddler's first time with bubble-mix, and caused about as much damage. He blew the fingers off a rabbi's hand and took out one whole Jewess. At that point, his rifle jammed and some jacked jew twice the size of John finally noticed him and shouted at him loudly, causing Earnest to shit himself and run away. After fleeing the scene, Earnest actually called the cops on himself and was apprehended after surrendering without a struggle. Even Couch Cuck had more fucking dignity than this.
FINAL TALLY: 1.015 deaths (subject to downward revision if the Rabbi's fingers get stitched back on). He didn't even shoot himself out of shame and self-loathing. If this is the alt-right's idea of gaining popularity, then they should find a better PR guy.
Loadout
| Class Setup | |
|---|---|
| Item | Accessories/Bonus |
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
Graded Score
| Kill count: | 1/20 ''(3 injured) - Even unarmed kikes were a challenge for this fag |
|---|---|
| Accuracy: | 0/20 ''Hit or Miss, I guess you never miss, huh? |
| Style: | 0/20 'BAWWWW manifesto, typical 4cuck's /pol/ user' |
| Butthurt: | 1/20 'The usual "false flag" bawwing in 4chan, caused lulz for jews' |
| Bonus: | 10/20 'Autist with rage' |
Wanted Level:
___________________
|
___________________
|
Mall Cop
Aftermath
What was the internets reaction? Nothing. No one was impressed. On 8chan, an FBI agent feebly tried to blame the whole thing on Putin, but couldn't drum up much interest. Earnest does however manage to claw back one six-millionth of a point for cred, because he made PewDiePie✡ feel so butthurt about the "Subscribe" meme, that the Pied Piper of Sweden made a sadface video about disowning the whole thing (because that tactic worked so incredibly well when Matt Furie killed off Pepe.) John was arrested (obviously) and was sentenced to life imprisonment.
Gallery
Gallery About missing Pics
-
v&. -
-
-
[Expand Gallery]
-
-
-
You can tell he’s in California, he is literally red -
He will fuck your shit up -
😎
External Links
(archive) - Fagbook account
- (archive) - Gay manifesto
- "Saint Chad Earnest pleads not guilty" - pol/ thread, May 1st-6th, 2019
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John Earnest
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