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Amy Winehouse: Difference between revisions
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'''Amy "Wino" Crackhouse'''{{jew}} (née Amilée Chateau in Frenchese) <strike>is</strike> was (lol) a drug-addled, [[alcoholic]] [[Jewish]] [[attention whore]] [[wigger]] from England known less for her [[whore|sultry]] jazz singing and moar for being a self-destructive [[drama queen]] of [[Pete Doherty]] proportions. When people saw her, they yelled "Who let this ugly piece of shit in here?". As tactfully pointed out by Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle, Amy looked like a RSPCA promo poster for neglected horses. [[The Man|They]] tried to make her go to [[rehab]], but she said "no, no, no" and instead went to the bank with a load of [[cash]] up her [[butt]] from exploiting her own [[fail|vulnerabilities]]. Musically, she was influenced entirely by [[Nigra|black]] [[music]], first 'borrowing' [[Old School|classic]] smoky jazz-club stylings for her first album and then stealing the Motown classics [[tracing|note-for-note]] on her second, and ripping of the Shangri Las "bad girl" persona. | '''Amy "Wino" Crackhouse'''{{jew}} (née Amilée Chateau in Frenchese) <strike>is</strike> was (lol) a drug-addled, [[alcoholic]] [[Jewish]] [[attention whore]] [[wigger]] from England known less for her [[whore|sultry]] jazz singing and moar for being a self-destructive [[drama queen]] of [[Pete Doherty]] proportions. When people saw her, they yelled "Who let this ugly piece of shit in here?". As tactfully pointed out by Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle, Amy looked like a RSPCA promo poster for neglected horses. [[The Man|They]] tried to make her go to [[rehab]], but she said "no, no, no" and instead went to the bank with a load of [[cash]] up her [[butt]] from exploiting her own [[fail|vulnerabilities]]. Musically, she was influenced entirely by [[Nigra|black]] [[music]], first 'borrowing' [[Old School|classic]] smoky jazz-club stylings for her first album and then stealing the Motown classics [[tracing|note-for-note]] on her second, and ripping of the Shangri Las "bad girl" persona. | ||
==The Crazy Bitch and Her Issues== | ==The Crazy Bitch and Her Issues== | ||
Revision as of 14:30, 26 July 2011
Amy "Wino" Crackhouse✡ (née Amilée Chateau in Frenchese) is was (lol) a drug-addled, alcoholic Jewish attention whore wigger from England known less for her sultry jazz singing and moar for being a self-destructive drama queen of Pete Doherty proportions. When people saw her, they yelled "Who let this ugly piece of shit in here?". As tactfully pointed out by Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle, Amy looked like a RSPCA promo poster for neglected horses. They tried to make her go to rehab, but she said "no, no, no" and instead went to the bank with a load of cash up her butt from exploiting her own vulnerabilities. Musically, she was influenced entirely by black music, first 'borrowing' classic smoky jazz-club stylings for her first album and then stealing the Motown classics note-for-note on her second, and ripping of the Shangri Las "bad girl" persona.
The Crazy Bitch and Her Issues
Here is a sample of things Ms. Winehouse has been accused of:
- Being a Jew
- Drug Abuse
- Eating disorders (she has admitted to anorexia and bulimia, and several undiscovered disorders.)
- Self-injury
- Bipolar disorder which she has admitted she refuses to control with medication, preferring to be an alcoholic emo fucktard.
- Drugs
- Being English
- Having retarded tattoos
- Being a Jew
- Spousal abuse (hitting her husband lololol)
- Smoking crack PROOF!
- Burning out the eyes of paparazzi unlucky enough to snap photographs of her during the ungodly hours of the morning. dumbwhore
- Alcohol
...
- Oh, and Drugs
- Oh, and she's dead.
Winehouse OTI
Perez Hilton
Famed internets faggot Perez Hilton has become completely and uncontrollably obsessed with this dumb alcoholic whore for no apparent reason. Despite the existence of much more famous crazy bitches he posts shit about Amy Winehouse constantly, giving her much more publicity than she deserves. WE ALREADY KNOW SHE'S A DUMB WHORE, WE DON'T HAVE TO BE TOLD EVERY 5 MINUTES.
Amy Winehouse Goes Straight
Recently it was revealed that Amy Winehouse had quit drugs and alcohol, and was no longer in trouble with the law. In fact, according to Wikipedia, Mrs. Winehouse has never had any substance abuse problems nor has she ever committed a crime. It was all apparently just a typical tabloid smear campaign and none of those things ever really happened.
She's an adult baby!
According to a completely accurate celebrity blog recently, Amy Winehouse had taken to wearing "nappies", an English term for diapers:
—OH SHI- |
Oh god, I can’t be the only one who is totally turned on right now.
No, you aren't, you sick bastard.
Videos
Previous Video | Next Video
Dead
Well, that was quick. On July 23rd, 2011, police removed a bag of drugs and needles from Miss Winehouse's home. They quickly passed it on to the coroner to perform the autopsy on it. This followed a month of drug-induced fail, including a performance in which she stumbled onto the staged, mumbled out a string of garbled and unintelligible lyrics, and where she "appeared removed from reality" throughout the entire performance. Her attendants, who were under instruction to remove all alcohol from her room, clearly failed. The performance was so bad and flew onto JewTube so quickly that she had no choice but to cancel her tour. These things happen when you don't want to go to rehab. This pathetic lifestyle will be a good lesson to all the little kiddies: If you are so weak willed that you fly off the rails every time you're even near being drunk or high, you will end up dead in a puddle of your own piss and vomit like this sad cunt. To honor her memory, the Left 4 Dead developers have made an infected in her honor. It's about as fucked up as her life style was. Amy became an heroine; her parents have been refused possession of her ashes in the future since they will be regarded a class-A drug.
Apparently, her body was so fucked up that not even the medical examiner could tell what the fuck killed her following the autopsy. We're going to have to wait even longer for the toxicology reports, which will only tell us what we already know.
"Amy Winehouse was set to start work on her new album this weekend...
Sadly though she only managed a few lines."
Gallery
-
Elvira?! Is that you?! -
I just lost my baby fat -
Caught on film smoking crack in front of a wedding photo -
Amy, drunk off her ass. -
Pissed again, but in this one she's a little more coherent...because she's also on meth. -
There's tons of these on the internet -
here's another -
and another -
The only time Amy Winehouse has ever been seen to eat anything, ever. -
Amy was a crackbaby.
See Also
A brief list of other train-wreck celebrities for your enjoyment:
External Links
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Amy Winehouse is part of a series on Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage. |
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Amy Winehouse is part of a series on Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage. |
| Amy Winehouse | ||
| Preceded by Rootbrian |
Featured Article of the Now July 22 and 23 2011 | Succeeded by Riley34470 |