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John Earnest: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 03:00, 8 March 2024
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Add pixplzkthnx to John Earnest Plz to be adding some pix now kthnx. Consult the image selection process for help, or just google up some pix.Plz remove this notice once there are plenty of pix. |
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Only a month after the Christchurch mosque shootings, it was only a matter of time before that massacre of incredible hilarity would spawn a copycat criminal. John Timothy Earnest is a random American 25-year old loser who became the first disciple of Saint Tarrant after shooting up the Chabad of Poway Synagogue in the name of saving the Aryan race from Jews or some shit like that. He livestreamed it but the dumb cracker set the stream as private so nobody could watch it.
Normally, we'd put the subject's name in bold in the lead sectiom but why bother, honestly? No one will ever remember this guy and he is hardly important. The (((media))) sort of yawned and lost interest after day 1 when it turned out the shooter despised Trump, so there was no chance of spinning it into a Trump-bashing opportunity. Israel cashed in a bit by blaming Arabs but Jews gonna Jew. It barely even sparked any buzz on the old mass shooting meme.
John is only remembered for being the first mass shooter/retard inspired by Brenton Tarrant, and even then that it only by weirds like you and I. Labelling John a terrorist would be an insult to all those who've sacrificed their lives for the advancement of the art; this cocky 8chan twat couldn't even score past a 60-year-old pensioner minding her own business. He is further proof that Californians really shouldn't get involved in anything gun-related.
Background
John was radicalized after joining 8chan's /pol/ and immediately feeling right at home. Despite actually being polite, fairly popular and having a bright future ahead of him, he became an angry “White supremacist” basement-dweller in just under 18 months. Inspired by the heroic deeds of Robert Bowers and Saint Brenton Tarrant, John sat himself down and wrote a terrible manifesto full of even worserer shitposting than Tarrant's. Since he was just delusional about being the vanguard of a new race war, he padded his writings with ludicrously self-aggrandizing statements. The cringiest of these was about how he hoped to be released from prison when ZOG was overthrown, and would then lead soldiers against the Enemies of the White Race.
He tried setting fire to a mosque, but hadn't realized that sandniggers sleep inside the goddamned things. So the Muzzies woke up, put the fire out while yawning, and went back to sleep. He boasted in his manifesto about getting away with it, but the sad truth is the Islams probably thought it was some homeless bum's campfire and never realized they'd been attacked at all. This brings us to the Day Of Action itself.
Shooting
After making a mandatory post on /pol/, John got tooled up, drove to a local synagogue (which he believed to be his local ZOG branch), and walked in with adrenaline surging through his thin teenage veins like spinach through Popeye. This probably explains why he then sprayed-and-prayed like a hyperactive toddler's first time with bubble-mix, and caused about as much damage. He blew the fingers off a rabbi's hand and took out one whole Jewess. At that point, his rifle jammed and some jacked jew twice the size of John finally noticed him and shouted at him loudly, causing Earnest to shit himself and run away. After fleeing the scene, Earnest actually called the cops on himself and was apprehended after surrendering without a struggle. Even Couch Cuck had more fucking dignity than this.
FINAL TALLY: 1.015 deaths (subject to downward revision if the Rabbi's fingers get stitched back on). He didn't even shoot himself out of shame and self-loathing. If this is the alt-right's idea of gaining popularity, then they should find a better PR guy.
Previous Video | Next Video
Loadout
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Graded Score
| Kill count: | 1/20 (3 injured) - Even unarmed kikes were a challenge for this fag |
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| Accuracy: | 0/20 Hit or Miss, I guess you never miss, huh? |
| Style: | 0/20 BAWWWW manifesto, typical 4cuck's /pol/ user |
| Butthurt: | 1/20 The usual "false flag" bawwing in 4chan, caused lulz for jews |
| Bonus: | 10/20 Autist with rage |
Wanted Level:
Mall Cop
Aftermath
What was the internets reaction? Nothing. No one was impressed. On 8chan, an FBI agent feebly tried to blame the whole thing on Putin, but couldn't drum up much interest. Earnest does however manage to claw back one six-millionth of a point for cred, because he made PewDiePie✡ feel so butthurt about the "Subscribe" meme, that the Pied Piper of Sweden made a sadface video about disowning the whole thing (because that tactic worked so incredibly well when Matt Furie killed off Pepe.) John was arrested (obviously) and was sentenced to life imprisonment.
Videos
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Gallery
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You can tell he’s in California, he is literally red -
He will fuck your shit up -
😎 -
2022 mugshot -
Looking forward to a bright future! -
Family's Statement -
His AR. (Notice the California-compliant finned pistol grip) -
Passenger seat
External Links
(archive) - Fagbook account
- (archive) - Gay manifesto
(reddit) (See removed posts: 1, 2) - Firsthand account of Johnny
- "Saint Chad Earnest pleads not guilty" - pol/ thread, May 1st-6th, 2019
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John Earnest
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