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Revision as of 00:29, 7 February 2013
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess who lived in a castle, named Trixie (Powerword Gina Morelli). Trixie wakes up every morning, chews the head off a baby, and mentally prepares to post inane shit on an internet forum. Trixie's hobbies include collecting dolls, using her dolls to act out creepy scenarios which she takes pictures of, talking about being bipolar, hitting on children who are under the age of 18, playacting that she is someone's mother, and making pretend sandwiches for people online.
Oh, and did I mention that she has cancer is fat?
Trixie's Life
Trixie is your typical middle-aged failure. She is a library associate (see: clerks making under $35,000.00 annually), never graduated from college, is unmarried despite several recent "relationships", and has no children, mainly due to utilizing abortion. When she's not casting sideways glances at preschoolers, she spends most of her time on doll-related or dating websites, which may be why she got confused and logged onto EDF, since it is basically a giant pile of circlejerking faggots. She claims to read books and comic books like Ms. Marvel, although it's unlikely that her knowledge of comics extends outside Google Image Search. She is obsessed with her doll collection to the point of dementia, saying they are like her children, and that they speak to her. It is speculated that she uses her dolls as makeshift dildos; however, she is unreliable about telling the truth and the dolls were unavailable for comment.
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Eventually being on a forum where she gained nothing from posting made her restless. Trixie decided to get someone else to make a poll/thread about whether or not she should show her flabby udders, in which half of the people voting did so out of morbid curiosity, and the other half didn't want to lose their erection forever. Oblivious, she sent her nudes to several people afterwards, including a moderator, all of whom told her nobody wants to see that shit. After being rebuffed by said moderator, she then sent the pictures to his girlfriend in an attempt to... actually, I'm not sure what she was trying to accomplish or gain by doing that. She grew in size, feeding off the energy emitted from her computer, but it was not enough. After popping some Xanax and getting riled up over being picked on, she decided to use the Old Hag Defense Mechanism. This is much like younger women claiming to have been raped when they are backed into a corner and want everyone to stop being mad and feel sorry for them, except with cancer.
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Some were thrilled and popped boners at the prospect of her imminent suffering and eventual death, yet most were skeptical. After some diligent research it was quickly discovered that the cancer surgery she claimed to be having, over a month from then, was actually a surgery she requested because she'd rather be cut open than put the fork down and exercise. People don't usually go around announcing fatal illnesses in a huff. Then again, women aren't really people, and are incapable of handling any situation without starting their period or crying. On a related note, Trixie claims to be bipolar and may eventually blame lying and acting like a crazy bitch on her medicine/her disorder/her dad. Although our experts suspect she may suffer from a far worse condition.
Fortunately, EDF has hundreds of medical professionals on staff who promptly told her she was just fat.
After being outed that she was actually having a surgery for fatties she quietly fizzled away, only to post "I'M A STROHNG IN'EH'PENDENT WOMUN" quotes on her EDF profile, which surely put everyone in their place and reminded us all of her courageous and beautiful spirit.
If You Encounter Trixie
- Don't move. Her vision is based on movement.
- Roll her back into the ocean.
- Toss coupons for KFC into the air and run.
- Play dead. Be sure to be lying face-down so she cannot rape you.
- Ask her why she chose to cosplay as Jabba the Hutt. Dopo mee gusha, Trixie?
- Don't look her in the eye, or she'll ask if you want to see her nudes.
- If she offers you nudes, take your hand and firmly strike her face, and say, "No! Bad!" in a commanding tone.
- Do not give her any attention whatsoever.
- Do not attempt to be polite and say things like, she looks well for her age. She doesn't.
- Offer her food and compliments, then push her off a cliff.
A Typical Work Day
Hanging around the "graphic novel" section of the library, poorly paid book shelver and masturbating-cougar, DGTrixie, clung to a group of school-aged children.
"Batman, hey?" Trixie suddenly said, eying the child's reading choice, disrupting the relative silence and alarming the kids. "Na-na-na-na-na: BATMAN!" she sung with a sort of giggle-snort at the end. "I used to love batman. He was so groovy-- err, KEWL (*keep current, Trix!)."
The kids began to back away from the strange old woman.
"Uh, yeah, lady - that's cool," one of the kids said before he and his friends took off.
"Drats," thought Trixie.
She returned to work, shelving returned books. But as she placed the last of the graphic novels away, she spied a super handsome young man staring idly at a shelf of audio books. The young man had a mop of brown hair that was wavy and full. His shirt was a white and black pinstripe button-up. His eyes were quite glazed and red, with pupils like pinpricks, and he kept scratching his body, all over. All in all he looked like a scruffy creep. To most, this man would be as appealing as the common flu - but to Trixie, forever alone and desperate, her summer years long gone, nearer than ever to winter - verging on ice-age - this young man was paydirt.
"Don't like reading much, huh?"
"Huh? Oh, no... reading sucks; especially too long stuff..."
The young man eyed Trixie up with a sort of disgust and mistrust.
"So, you shelve the books?" he asked, pointing at the alphabetized stack she was holding.
"No!" Trixie lied. "I.. uhhh.. I'm a librarian! Yeah.."
The guy zoned out.
"I'm looking for an audio book about Warhammer 40,000: got any?"
(Trixie didn't know. She scanned her memory for Warhammer: 40k... Each night she surfed the internet trying to memorize every youth fashion and craze to better help her mingle with kids 1/4 her own age.)
"Warhammer - 40k...?" ... (NOTHING.) "Oh, no, we don't have any of that," she eventually slurred. "But if you come over to my house we can watch Adult Swim - I have that."
"Ok," the guy replied. "Hey?" he asked..
"Yeah?" said Trix.
"You down with dope, drugs, and me doing some?"
Trixie wasn't, but she was down with FINALLY getting fucked by something other than a man her own age - "50 -- gross!!" 'Besides,' she thought, a guy on drugs was liable to do anything. And unlike her last encounter with a boy over at the house, this guy would drug himself! She had had a hard time crushing up the pills and getting them into the pop.
.......
Back at the house, Trix put Adult Swim on and went for a moment into the kitchen.
The guy sat on her couch and Trix entered the room holding a plate of various snacks and sandwiches, but the guy was too busy digging into his own plate, filled with lines of off-white substance.
"Hey, is that... coke?" Trix inquired.
"FUCK OFF - DON'T TOUCH SOME. GET YOUR OWN. DON'T CAUSE A BREEZE. YOU'LL WASTE SOME." the guy yelled, violently cocking his head to the side, a pen tube up his nose and a wild stare infesting his eyes. "Err," he stopped... "no.. it's heroin."
("He'll be good and high!!!" Thought Trix to herself, savoring the coming moment.)
But before Trix could put the moves on the guy, he unexpectedly jumped up and dashed over to Trix. He flipped her over, landing her face down, ass up on the couch, and the guy with the flu-like symptoms -- *who we'll call Flu -- grabbed at equal sides of her sweat pants and, with a savage grasp, tore the ass of the wal-mart pants in two, exposing a great slab of freckle spotted, leathery and weather beaten white ass, and a great grubby brown, glowing red stretched asshole.
Flu, who, in turn, smelled of old ham, licked his pursed lips like a stray dog, spying that spoiled hole.
Trix, still head-down on the couch, made a timid noise that she meant to sound exited. She kicked her legs a bit, unsure of what to do, but Flu, having come up - way up - on drugs was too powerful and unpredictable, and he pushed her back down while cracking her legs apart like a lobster tail.
Trixies ass once again split to reveal a huge messy asshole, thick and full with red pubic wool and dark brown moss on both sides - it looked like a giant crater in the middle of a thick autumn woods.
"Gabba-gabba-HEY!!" sputtered Flu, his cock meat spinning in its pants. His breathing was hard and shallow, and his cock, laden with heroin did not work the way a normal cock should. Though high and aroused, Flu made the best of a bad situation: he reached down into Trixie's bum with both hands and spread that giant maw of a butthole with all fingers, out like a facehugger, far and wide apart.
Trix whimpered. (It was not meant to go down like this!!)
Flu rapidly stretched and unstretched her bum so hard and wide that cracks began to appear in her rectum lining, and several thin lines of blood began to appear like lips chapped by winter. With a hard, unfriendly shove, Trixie was pushed tumbling forward from the couch and crashed to the floor onto her chest. Flu jumped on top of her and ripped her sweat pants more into two and then tore them off entirely. He wrapped both halves around Trixie's wrists and ankles, and tied her up.
From this position she looked like a spit pig.
Flu seized her buttcheeks again in both his hands and spread her ass-pussy wide, flopping his half-hard / half-limp dick inside her. His limp head on its thick shaft dangled just inside her asshole like a fishing rod, and Flu once again began to wobble her hoop over his dong.
"F-f-feels so good!" he cried, pulling Trixie's sweat shirt hockey-style over her head, then emptied a flap of smack on Trixie's bare back. Flu plunged his nose into the pile of powder and snorted hard.
"AARRRGGHHHHH!!!!!" he cried, a steady steam of blood running from his nose, which he gathered in his palm and wiped it all over Trixie's ass crack and vag.
Cock still half-hard / half-limp inside her butt, Flu flopped more and more, harder and harder, more and more sloppy - until a huge and sticky, wrongfully thick wad of yellow-stained spooge that stunk like chlorine and made a noise like a baby laughing shot from his cock like a farmer blown nose.
Then, abruptly, he stopped.
Trixie, as if a corpse, lay morbidly still.
"Don't move," Flu commanded the aged whore. (Bound like a trophy pig on a platter, she couldn't. All she could do was lay there and listen to Robot Chicken.)
Flu darted into the kitchen and wildly began opening cupboards, throwing various kitchen shit to the floor, until he found what he was looking for and darted, with a huge jump and a roll, back into the living room. In his hands he clutched a baker's size box of baking soda and a huge, economy bottle of white vinegar.
"If your butt's anything like toilet paper, there's no way that gob of spunk's coming from your ass without a little help. And when it does finally emerge by its own volition, I don't want it running down into your vag. I ain't ready to be a father!"
Flu grabbed a 2l bottle of pop Trixie had sitting beside her couch, and from his shirt pocket he pulled a small box cutter and frantically sliced the top of the bottle off, turning it into a makeshift funnel which he unceremoniously dry-crammed into Trixie's anal crater.
"W-what are you d-doing... honey.. b-bear..?" Trixie asked, trying to sound cool; in control; like she liked what was happening to her, and therefore had an ounce of control over the looming event.
"Grade 2" spat Flu, as he ripped the top from the baking soda box with his yellow teeth and emptied the entire thing in a great white plume of dust down the funnel, into the old crone's bum.
"Oh GOD NO!!!" Trix cried!
"WHOA!! YEA!!!" reply-cried Flu! "BET THIS IS COOL!!!"
Flu flung the lid from the vinegar off, way across the room. Blood from his nose dribbled down his face, splashing onto his arm, running down his fist and mixing with the vinegar as it gushed into Trixie's bum.
She tried to bear down, but to no avail (as her ass was just too loose.)
A frothing white foam appeared the minute Flu pulled out the cone. Then a fizzing gushing rush. A painful, sizzling baking soda slurry jetted from between Trixies clenched cheeks and asshole.
The vinegar burnt and she screamed. Flu cheered!
A huge gurgling rush of frothy cum and tan septic foam shot up and out from the fire-crotch's ass. Gobs upon gobs of acid-chewed spunk, like living wads of bubblegum, crawled through the flapping folds of Trixies ass fat and then -- a torrent of fizzing shit exploded, up through the air, a meter high!
A raging rush of shit sprayed non-stop up - up! - UP!!
The shit geyser spewed so high that it touched the ceiling, showering young man and old woman alike in a sick, thicky and frothing slurry of bubonic, vomitous shit smelling, deep colon water! And then shit - pure shit - logs and logs of it - unending logs, like a link of shit sausages, slide from unknown parts of Trixie's intestinal track. Meals that had gone forgotten suddenly appeared as sizzling shit specters of half white half brown, marbled chunks of semen studded shit. Crap piled up all over the floor as a mountinous mound seven-feet high off Trixie's bum and then toppled, mud-sliding over, until there was no floor -- only a carpet of crap and a smell that would haunt the house forever.
Flu stopped dancing. He eyed up the bottle of pop that he had earlier cut: it was coke. He pulled from his dick a packet of Mentos.
Hog-tied Trixie screamed as Flu parted the mound of shit jutting from her ass and jammed the funnel unceremoniously back in. Dumping the pop down the funnel top, Flu dropped the deadly bomb of mints inside DGTrixie's ass and took off running, making his best 'Doctor Strangelove' cry of "YEEEEE-HAWWW!!! YEEEEEE-HAWWW!!!!.
As Trixies bottom swelled up, Flu dashed through door and slid to the grass outside --
Laying on the grass a few meters from the house, Flu turned back and stared wide-eyed at the house, through its pristine glass, inside -- then the window was smacked by an explosive splat of blood and shit! Through the chimney shot the body of a badly maimed and mutilated woman, spiraling through the air from a never-stopping geyser of shit from her ass, into the blue horizon... then exploded. Shit and cum rained down over the entire town, falling on birds in sweet revenge and filling the local kiddie pool. Gobs of slop plopped into kissing lovers mouths and crackling specks of turd cluttered up the highway causing a 40 car wreck.
"GOD BLESS AMERICA." Flu said, his hand held hard against his heart. A tear in his eye caught the sunlight, and a rainbow appeared. Then DGTrixie's skull, covered in steaming shit, landed with a dull thud and a squish on the lawn next to him.
"GOD BLESS THIS MESS."
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FROM THE BOWELS OF HELL -
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Typical response -
UGH -
Living life to the fattest
Threads With Drama
Defensive thread after being called out on bullshit
HAY GAIS IM DRUNK LOL LOOK AT ME
Thinking anyone cares about her relationship problems
See Also
- cancer
- Attention Whore
- Girl on the Internet Syndrome
- Fat
- Old people
- ED Forums
- ED IRC
- EDF 2: Electric Boogaloo
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DGTrixie is part of a series on Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage. |
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