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Jeff Weise: Difference between revisions
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! style="text-align:right;vertical-align:top;" | Accuracy: | ! style="text-align:right;vertical-align:top;" | Accuracy: | ||
| | |16/20<br /> | ||
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! style="text-align:right;" | Style: | ! style="text-align:right;" | Style: | ||
| | |20/20 ''bonus for looting armor & gun from guard'' | ||
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! style="text-align:right;" | Butthurt: | ! style="text-align:right;" | Butthurt: | ||
|17/20 ''Caused a moderate shitstorm. | |17/20 ''Caused a moderate shitstorm. Nobody [['Missing_White_Woman'_Syndrome|was white so nobody cared.'']] | ||
|- | |- | ||
! style="text-align:right;vertical-align:top;" | Bonus: | ! style="text-align:right;vertical-align:top;" | Bonus: | ||
|18/20<br />''Stopped his [[emo|suicide attempt]] and saved up his angst for [[School_Shooting|greater things.]]'' | |18/20<br />''Stopped his [[emo|suicide attempt]] and saved up his angst for [[School_Shooting|greater things.]]'' | ||
|- | |- | ||
! colspan="2" style="{{roundy|9px}}background-color:orange;box-shadow:0 3px 6px yellow;" | <big>Total score: | ! colspan="2" style="{{roundy|9px}}background-color:orange;box-shadow:0 3px 6px yellow;" | <big>Total score: 80/100 ('''B-''')</big> | ||
|} | |} | ||
Revision as of 19:54, 16 June 2015
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Jeff Weise (aka 
weise) was an honest-to-God Injun, as well as an angsty teen from Minnesota. These three defining characteristics --His Injun-hood, his angsty teen-hood, and his Minnessotan-hood-- formed the greatest trifecta of Native American rage since Geronimo, leading to the Red Lake High School shoot'em-up. Like most angsty teens and all High School shooters, Jeff was a massive fanboi of famous celebrities Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold.
The IRL drama
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—Jeff Weise, moments before starting a shoot-out with the cops. | ||
On March 21, 2005, Weise stole 2 handguns and a shotgun and pwned his grandparents. He then stole his grandfather's police cruiser, crashed it into his school, and pwned 7 more classmates before self-pwning. Newspapers and TV stations around the nation immediately jumped on the story and masturbated furiously to the topic of school-shootings and violence for several weeks until, flushed and weak in the knees, they finally moved back to the severely more important news schedule of arbitrary missing white women and Lindsay Lohan's latest eating disorder. Naturally, this brief media frenzy ensured a new round of pointless IRL drama combined with the typical routine criticism of Marilyn Manson and the temporary banning of all Hot Topic merchandise from school grounds. Somewhere along the line, some concerned mothers probably got involved as well, but that's shit only they care about.
On the Internets
Before killing himself, Weise was known for his various activities on the internets. He made many posts on various Nazi websites (knowing that Hitler didn't give a fuck about Native Americans and only cared about Germany). Weise also created several violent flash videos on Newgrounds and started an LJ account, where he made 3 brief posts inquiring about cutting, alcoholism, grammatical errors, and other shit nobody cares about.
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Graded Score
| Graded score | |
|---|---|
| Kills: | 9/20 |
| Accuracy: | 16/20 |
| Style: | 20/20 bonus for looting armor & gun from guard |
| Butthurt: | 17/20 Caused a moderate shitstorm. Nobody was white so nobody cared. |
| Bonus: | 18/20 Stopped his suicide attempt and saved up his angst for greater things. |
| Total score: 80/100 (B-) | |
Gallery
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Delicious cake! Also exploitable. -
Grimy injun attention whoring. -
Going into diabetic shock.
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Somehow someone made fanart of him! -
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Weise Saved Red Lake!
This comment was left on the wikipedia discussion article by a random red lake citizen. How he or she was able to afford internet is a mystery, but the genie is out of the bottle..
External links
- Weise's LJ account
- Weise's Newgrounds profile
- Libertarian National Socialist Green Party (his site of choice)
- his first flash; 500,000+ hits lots of drama
- "Target Practice" parody
- 10th Anniversary Celebration
- Good article on it
- Steam fanclub group
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Jeff Weise is part of a series on </3 EMO </3 [Cut] |
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Jeff Weise is part of a series on GOTH [Embrace your inner darkness] |
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| Featured article March 17 & 18, 2015 | ||
| Preceded by Nayzak |
Jeff Weise | Succeeded by Robert Casio |