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Heaven's Gate

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Lose 39 iPods?

This page contains 39 an heroes.
The Heaven's Gate Away Team has left the building.
Actual Reinactment
One does not simply Zerg rush into Heaven's Gate.
Nike: the preferred shoe of astronuts everywhere.
"How do I shots Beam Me Up Scotty?"


Led by certified bicurious-debatable kook and attention whore Marshall Herff Applewhite, the Heaven's Gate cult were a California based, batshit crazy UFO 'religion'. They believed that they could ride on a Jesus powered spaceship that was hiding behind the comet Hale-Bopp if they drank Kool-Aid upon its arrival.

Sometime in the mid-90's, Herff and his cultists moved into a mansion in San Diego, where they practiced an ascetic lifestyle, denying themselves alcohol and sex. The cultists were known for their love of Star Trek, The X-Files, and computers. During this period, some cult members worked as website designers, leading some to suggest that the internets was related to their mass-heroism.

In April, 1997, Comet Hale-Bopp appeared and so the cult beamed up to the awaiting spaceship. 39 bodies were found dead in bunk beds, flat on their backs clad in black pants, black shirts, brand new black Nikes, and purple armbands reading "Heaven's Gate Away Team". Their faces were covered with purple cloths, a nod to the shrouds of Christian penance. Each member carried $5.00 in quarters for use on the spaceship which Jesus had kindly pimped out with an arcade and vending machines.

The cultists died by taking barbiturates mixed into pudding with a shot of vodka back. They sealed the deal by putting plastic bags over their heads and hitting themselves with bricks.

The Heaven's Gate cult were heeding the words of the Jew:

   
 
Set thine house in order; for thou shalt die and not live. Wear Nikes for great justice bitches!
 

 
 

—Isaiah

Just Do It!

Heaven's Gate Recruitment Video

Gallery

Also, one of them decided not to an hero, and now will answer your questions.

See Also

External Links

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Heaven's Gate is part of a series on Cults
UFO Cults: ScientologyGalactic Federation of LightHeaven's GateRaeliansNibiru
New-age Faggotry:

WiccaThe DolmenMooniesPaganismBlack AlchemyFagnosticismPrem RawatVoluntary Human Extinction MovementThothRon PaulRed Ice Creations

Raep cults: Al QaedaManiacs Murder CultManson FamilyMasonsSatanism
Jesus Cults: Aum ShinrikyoBranch DavidiansChick TractsEx-GayMormonismPeople's TempleWestboro Baptist Church
Wannabe Cults: SephyismSonic CulTVampiresGothsFurriesMulderiteWooksBroniesLibertariansFeminism
Stupid Cults: ScientologyAtheismSocial JusticeBreatharianMichelle Belanger/House KheperuSonic PassionHighgate Vampire, theThe Tenacious Unicorn Ranch
Troll Cults: AnonymousCult of the Dead CowRaptor JesusJohn SolomonChurch of the SubGeniusDiscordianism
Web 2.0 Cults: Atheist Scum UnitedKiwi FarmsKony 2012Rational Response SquadRationalWikiWikipediaWP:DAILYMAILYoung Tubers United


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Related Pages

90 Day JaneAn hero dayask.fmAutoerotic asphyxiationColumbineGolden iPodHeaven's GateHigh ScoreHow to become an heroJeffrey EpsteinMydeathspacePseudocideShotgun mouthwashSuicideSuicidal FailureThe Great Sonic-cide of 2007Threatening suicideVirginia Tech massacreWaco

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L. Ron HubbardDavid MiscarriageTom CruiseScientology AgentsTommy DavisRogues GallerySuri CruiseTerryeoHeaven's GateThe RegimeEvil Jacket GuyJoe FeshbachVaLLarrrTom NewtonJohn CarmichaelFreezoneCaptain Bill RobertsonDanny MastersonWill SmithOschaperKendrick MoxonTim ArmerJorge SerranoRon SaveloJohn TravoltaJett Travolta

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