Alek Minassian

Find an iPod? This page is about an attempted an hero.

This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.

Alek Minassian

Born	November 3, 1992
Nationality	Soviet Canuck
Highscore	Killed 10 Injured 13
Style	Single Player / Truck of Peace
An Hero	No (arrested)
Rank	43rd Place :(

Alek Minassian is an Armenian-Canadian best known worldwide as the present high-score holder for Canadian usage Grand-Theft-Auto, when on April 23rd, 2018, he utilized the well-proven truck of peace to relieve 10 unfortunate canucks of their lives. Like other national treasures such as Luka Magnotta, Marc Lepine, and Justin Trudeau, Alek Minassian sought to improve his life, and ideally end it, through bloodshed and notoriety. Unforunately for him, as a certified autist, he couldn't even get the police to shoot him, thus finding himself cucked for the umpteenth time.

Childhood

Minassian was born in Toronto, Canada, and was educated at Thornlea Secondary School. He was described as fidgety and socially awkward, symptoms that in retrospect clearly indicated autism. He was so lonely that he even sometimes hugged himself and made strange noises. An interview with his mother, Sona Minassian, suggested that he suffered from aspergers syndrome. Minassian was described as proficient with computers, and created an Android app to locate parking spaces in Toronto. At the time of his attack, Minassian had just graduated from Seneca College, a local post secondary intuition.

Incel Rebellion

On April 23rd, 2018, the bucolic nation of Canada was knocked into action by a 2.3 ton white moving van, hurtling down a pedestrian kerb at highway speeds. Eyewitnesses reported flying bodies, smushed canucks, and the wails of wives and children, as Alek deftly manuevered his vehicle through crowds. After 20 minutes of grand theft auto re-enactment, the vehicle hit a bollard, and Minassian stepped out, only to be confronted by police. 10 people were killed, and an additional 14 were injured.

Supreme Gentlemenry

Ladies, he's going to be single for a long time

At first, the Old Media was convinced itself that this was yet another case of mental illness, then as possibly revenge for the Armenian genocide, or possibly the innate violence of autists manifested in truck format. Meanwhile, the retards top minds on reddit and pol convinced themselves that the religion of peace was once again the culprit. The truth turned out to be far purer, far more elegant - it was to be the start of the incel uprising. In an ill-advised post to Facebook, Alek Minassian promised to overthrow the Chads and the Stacies, and praised the Supreme Gentleman himself - conveniently neglecting to note that without thots, he would never get laid.

BAN ASSUALT VANS

Needless to say, the feminists lost their shit, and a torrent of vitriol flowed from the old media on the dangers of toxic masculinity and autistics.

An Hero Fail

Originally, Alek Minassian tried to kill himself. When that didn't work, he tried to get the police to kill him, by pointing a "gun" at the police, and demanding that he be shot. Unfortunately, it turns out the Police are the real Chads, and Minassian really was just another virgin, and he was promptly cucked when the police arrested him without firing a single shot. As a result of this oversight, he can look now forward to conviction, then detainment and anal rape, for so long as it pleases Her Majesty. Fail.

High Score

Graded score
Kill count:	10/20 (14 injured)
Accuracy:	8/20 Not bad accuracy wise
Style:	20/20 Most effective use of Grand Theft Auto in Canada
Butthurt:	20/20 Feminists in an outrage; the Prime Minister personally bawled on twitter.
Bonus:	20/20 Beta Uprising copycat, trolled feminazis, etc.
Total score: 78/100 (C)

Armenian Genocides You See full ranking

Wanted Level:
___________________

___________________

Police Force

See Also

• Elliot Rodger
• Love Shy
• Misogyny
• Luka Magnotta
• George Sodini
• Marjan Siklic
• Fedora
• Friend Zone
• Nice guys
• Virgin
• School shooting

Alek Minassian is part of a series on Soviet Canuckistan [CollapseExpand]

People Adam Buckley • Avril Lavigne • Alek Minassian • Alexander Graham Bell • Alexandre Bissonnette • Amanda Todd • Ben Spurr • Boris Malagurski • Brandon Crisp • Bruce Waugh • Camrose Cat Killers • Cheddar-Cheesia • Chris Benoit • Chris Forcand • Chuggo • Colin Mochrie • Darlie Brewster • DandCVideos • Danny Williams • Dakari-King Mykan • Dimitri The Lover • deadmau5 • Dorian_Gay • Douglas Spink • David Hugh Rock • Chris Forcand • David Hugh Rock • Epic Meal Time • Ellen Page • FaeTian • Frank Bertrand • Fergie Olver • Gabriel Wortman • Game2Winter • Henry Makow • Jason Caden • Jason Crevier • JayisCrazay • Jian Ghomeshi • Jenny Jones • Jordan Hunt • Jordan Peterson • Julie Terryberry • Jawsus • Jdsonic • Jonathan Yaniv • Justin Bieber • Keffals • Kimveer Gill • Kwalah Noman • Kyle Forrest • Lil Tay • Lindsay Kantha Souvannarath • Losttrap • Luka Magnotta • Luke Mochrie • Lyndsay Kirkham • Marc Lépine • Matthew de Grood • Mrwhiskerz Matthew Paul Tipping • Michael J Fox • Michel122002 • Mira Constable • Myah Walker • Newfies • Norm MacDonald • Nickelback • Perfection Girl • Phil Fish • Rob Ford • Russell Williams • Ryan Hawe • Safwwefe • Salj • Sebastien Levesque • Segacamp • Sex Ed Sue • Sharlene Simon • Sidney Crosby • Sinn • Smugglypuff • Swirl Face • Tamara Laskie • Ted Cruz • Tegan and Sara • Tim McLean • Tom Green • Tom MacDonald • Thedestructor • Toaster Steve • Tyciol • VenomFangX • William Shatner Places Ontario • Quebec • Toronto • Vancouver • Guelph • Windsor • University of Western Ontario Politics Conservative Party of Canada • Liberal Party of Canada • NDP • Justin Trudeau • Stephen Harper • G20 Toronto Lollercaust • Moving to Canada • North American Union • The Honkening TV Caillou • Hockey Night in Canada • My Life Me • Total Drama Island • Trailer Park Boys Sites Canadian GunNutz • ChampionOfJustice.ca • Degrassi.tv • Hampster Dance • Jesus Chatline • JihadUnspun.com • Loco Melones • Metal-Archives • Nexopia • Rebel Media • Vampire Shitty Video Games BioWare • Cuphead • Warframe Sports Basketball • Hockey Business BDIC • Blackberry • Hypercube • Milk Bags • ScriptLance • Telus

	Alek Minassian is part of a series on [GAME OVERInsert Coin]
	Single Player Elite Hall of Fame Adam Lanza • Anders Behring Breivik • Andrew Kehoe • Ariana Grande Massacre • Baruch Goldstein • Brenton Tarrant • Campo Elías Delgado • Cho Seung-Hui • Devin Patrick Kelley • Dong Yangling • Gabriel Wortman • Jack Gilbert Graham • Jakrapanth Thomma • James Huberty • Luby's massacre • Martin Bryant • Mutsuo Toi • Nice Truck Attack 2016 • Omar Mateen • Panya Khamrab • Patrick Crusius • Reina Nightclub Massacre • Salvador Ramos • Shinji Aoba • Stephen Paddock • Ted Bundy • Vladislav Roslyakov • William Unek • Woo Bum-kon Single Player Amateur Division Aaron Alexis • Alexandre Bissonnette • Akbarzhon Jalivov • Ali David Sonboly • Anderson Lee Aldrich • Andrea Pignani • Anton Lundin Pettersson • Artyom Kazantsev • Audrey Hale • Brandon Scott Hole • Breda Highschool Massacre • Breitscheidplatz • Brenda Ann Spencer • Bruce Jeffrey Pardo • Capital Gazette Shooting • Charles Whitman's Tumor • Chris Harper-Mercer • Connor Betts • Dallas Police Shootings • Darrell Brooks • David Katz • David Kozák • David Malcolm Gray • Death to Traitors, Freedom for Britain • Derrick Bird • DeWayne Craddock • Dimitrios Pagourtzis • Dimitrious Gargasoulas • Dmitry Vinogradov • Dylann Storm Roof • Elliot Rodger • Éric Borel • Euler Fernando Grandolpho • Flemming Nielsen • Fort Hood • Gabe Parker • George Sodini • Gian Luigi Ferri • Ian David Long • Ilnaz Galyaviev • Jake Davison • James Alex Fields • James Holmes • Jared Lee Loughner • Jason Dalton • Jason Rodriguez • Jaylen Fryberg • Jeffrey Dahmer • Jeff Weise • Jesse Osborne • Jiverly Voong • Joe Stack • John Russell Houser • John Wilkes Booth • Jonathan Sapirman • Josef Fritzl • Khalid Masood • Kimveer Gill • Kip Kinkel • Kongsberg Bow and Arrow Rampage • Lam Kor Wan • Mamoru Takuma • Marc Lépine • Mark Barton • Mark Essex • Martin Peyerl • Matthew de Grood • Michael Carneal • Michael Kenneth McLendon • Michael Ryan • Mikese Morse • Mr. Saari • Nathan Gale • Nghtmrchld26 • Nikolas Cruz • Noah Esbensen • Orlando Harris • Otoya Yamaguchi • Patrick Purdy • Payton Gendron • Pekka-Eric Auvinen • Petri Gerdt • Ramadan Van Man • Randy Robert Stair • Richard Speck • Robert Bales • Robert Bowers • Robert Card • Robert Crimo • Robert Hawkins • Robert Long • Robert Steinhäuser • Ruslan Akhtyamov • Ryan Palmeter • Santino William Legan • Satoshi Uematsu • Sayfullo Saipov • Stephen Kazmierczak • The Twinkie Man • Thomas Matthew Crooks • Thomas Watt Hamilton • Tim Kretschmer • Timothy Hendron • Timur Bekmansurov • TJ Lane • Tobias Rathjen • Trystan Andrew Terrell • Tyler Peterson • Unabomber • Wade Michael Page • Walter Seifert • Wellington Menezes de Oliveira • Zhao Zewei • Zug Massacre Multiplayer Co-Op Mode 1-14 Jakarta Attacks • Academy Maniacs • Boston Marathon Bombing • Charlie Hebdo • Columbine • Crocus City Hall Massacre • Hiroshima and Nagasaki • ISIS Paris Attack 13-11 • Jews did WTC • London Bridge Attack 2017 • Medianeira School Shooting • Pearl Harbor • San Bernardino Shooting • Sri Lanka 2019 Terrorist Attacks • Suzano School Shooting • Timothy McVeigh • Zhaodong Massacre Civilization and Great Prophets Adolf Hitler • Augusto Pinochet • Aum Shinrikyo • Charles Manson • Heaven's Gate • Holocaust • Jonestown • Joseph Stalin • Kim Il-sung • Mao Zedong • Osama bin Laden • Pol Pot • Saddam Hussein • Waco • World War II Banned From Scoring Alex Hribal • Anthony Warner • Anton Bichivin • Asa Coon • Ben Moynihan • Billy Mitchell • Brandon Clegg • Brian Isaack Clyde • Charles Bishop • Clay Duke • Dillon Cossey • Faisal Shahzad • Frank James • Hayden Jagst • Hugo Jackson • Ilya Ivanistov • John Earnest • Kyle Rittenhouse • Laaiti Ekenstéen • Lindsay Kantha Souvannarath • Logan Clark • MAGABomber • Mikhail Pivnev • Nasim Aghdam • Nicky Reilly • Philip Manshaus • Richard Reid • Ryan Routh • Sam Hyde • Sebastian Bosse • Sol Pais • Stephan Balliet • Todd Rogers • Willem Van Spronsen • William Atchison • You

Alek Minassian is part of a series on Psychopaths

[It rubs the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose againOpen the box]