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Latest revision as of 02:22, 21 November 2024

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This page contains an hero.
This person has Assburgers Syndrome,
so you can't say anything bad! :-(


Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
Patrick Edward Purdy
Born November 10, 1964
Died January 17, 1989 (aged 24)
Nationality: Americunt  
Highscore Killed 5, injured 32
Top 50? No
Style FPS, Single player
An Hero? Yes
Motive: Waycitzm


   
 
I'm so dumb, I'm dumber than a sixth-grader. My mother and father were dumb.
 

 
 

—Patrick Purdy

Patrick Edward Purdy (born November 10, 1964) was some loser whose last name sounded like a Hick trying to say "pretty" who was responsible for carrying out a school shooting at the Cleveland Elementary School in Stockton, California. Carried out on January 17, 1989 at his former elementary school, he targeted Southeast Asian students, but only managed to kill 5 Azns while injuring another 32. It's unknown why exactly he despised Southeast Asians so much, but some argue that it was because he had Assburgers and blamed his failures on them. People only cared about because shootings were rare in the 80s and kids died.

Early Life

Born in Tacoma in 1964 to Patrick Benjamin Purdy and Kathleen Toscano, he moved to South Lake Tahoe when he was 2 after his parents divorced, before his mom decided to settle down in the sleepy Northern Californian city of Stockton. Purdy was described by those who knew him as a very quiet child who would often cry a lot when agitated. While living in Stockton, he attended Cleveland Elementary School up until the 2nd grade, where he moved to Sacramento. Apparently, child services were called when it was revealed that Patrick's mother had been abusing him and his siblings. Some time later, our hero Patrick got fed up of his mother's bullshit and struck her in the face, causing him to get banned from living with his mother. He ended up living in foster homes in San Francisco and Lodi. It was his time attending Lodi High School where he became a drug addict, which lead him to skip school inconsistently.

Adult Life

After his father's death in 1981, Purdy snatched up every last penny from his dead father's pockets to take a vacation to New York City, but would later become homeless, living on the streets of Los Angeles for a short time. At various instances from 1982 to 1987, Purdy often found himself getting arrested for marijuana and illegal weapon possessions. Around 1987, Purdy ended up developing white supremacist beliefs after being discovered with books promoting white supremacy. At the San Joaquin Delta College, he was often heard complaining about the high amounts of Southeast Asian students attending. This along with his white supremacist beliefs would later lead to him committing the 80s version of Sandy Hook.

The Day of the Shooting

Class Setup
Item Accessories/Bonus
  • Primary: Norinco Type 56
  • Chinese knockoff of the AK-47. Decent but not Russian. Also has a fucking bayonet and nonsense scratched on it for the lulz. 45~65 Damage.
  • Secondary: Taurus PT92
  • Beretta 92 clone. Typical 9mm. Only bought it for suicide. 19~25 Damage
  • Thrown: Pipe Bomb
  • Thrown: Molotov Cocktail
  • Simple Incendiary Grenade 25~120 Damage

Last Tuesday morning on January 17, 1989, the Stockton Police Department received an anonymous (Hint:it was Patrick) death threat against Purdy's former elementary school, Cleveland Elementary School. Preparing for his Quake match, he dressed in a flak jacket with a bunch of retarded Sandnigger nonsense like "PLO", "Libya", and "Death to The Great Satin." He also scratched ""Hezbollah," "freedom," "Earthman," and "Victory" on his chink AK. That's right bitches- fellow retards Tarrant, Breivik, and Payton Gendron were actually unknowingly copying this cute ass white boy! Later that noon, he drove his van to the school, trying to bomb the school like Oklahoma City, by blowing up his van with a molotov cocktail and a pipe bomb, but this would fail to kill anyone. He then attempted plan B, hiding behind a nearby building, and going full Touhou on all of the school's Southeast Azns. However, he would only manage to kill 5 azn kids, while injuring 32 more people, including a teacher. He fired 106 rounds within 3 minutes, before going the way of Budd Dwyer and becoming An Hero.

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count: 5/20 32 injured
Accuracy: 10/20 Spray N' Pray
Style: 15/20 Tried to snipe kiddies
Butthurt: 20/20 80s version of Sandy Hook + liberal tears
Bonus: 20/20 Mellowing down America's Azn invazn
Total Score: 70/100 (C)
Caused so much butthurt about guns that California banned a bunch of them
See full ranking


Wanted Level:

S.W.A.T. Team


See Also

External Links

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Locations:

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Haters gonna hate:

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Acts of revenge:

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Objectors:

Charlton Heston 🔫 James Holmes 🔫 NRA 🔫 Osama Bin Laden 🔫 Republicans 🔫 People planning a massacre 🔫

Pre-2012 Gun Massacres

Columbine 🔫 École Polytechnique 🔫 Dawson College 🔫 Virginia Tech Massacre 🔫 Austin, Texas 🔫 NIU Valentine's Day Massacre 🔫 Hungerford Massacre 🔫 Anders Breivik

Patrick Purdy is related to a series on AZNS. [Domo ArigatoHerrow]
More Dangerous Than They Look

Bus UncleElliot RodgerFilthy FrankHideki KamiyaJiverly VoongKatoKenneth EngLindsay Kantha SouvannarathMutsuo ToiNevada-tanOtoya YamaguchiPoisonIvyLulRiboflavinRockonlittleoneRyan's WorldSarah JeongVicki SighVincent LiWayne Chiang

Noted Tyrants

Chairman MaoCho Seung-HuiEllen PaoHirohitoKim Jong IlMontezumaPol PotShinzo AbeWoo Bum-kon


Cam Whores

@OzcultAyuka NaritaBiostudentgirlEelgirlEmotion EricHard GayLittle FattyTila TequilaTubgirlThe Wine KoneTrap-kunXiao RishuYuri Kochiyama

Weeaboos

AimeeApplemilk1988Arudou DebitoDesu-radioFiredarkdragonFred GallagherHidoshiJellobunsKevin and KatMari IijimaMRirianPyroboobyReyvataeilSe-chanSnapesnoggerTwo-Ton-NekoValerie (Pai)ZS3

Musical Endeavors

J-EmoJ-PopJ-RockKpop

Me No Rikey Velly Much

Game2WinterMark WahlbergMiley CyrusPatrick PurdyRobert Aaron LongRucka Rucka AliUnited Airlines

Azn Stuff

1-14 Jakarta Attacks2017 Saint Petersburg Metro bombingAnti-CNNAugust 6 & 9 1945Edison Chen photo scandalFan deathMilkMizhi County No. 3 Middle School AttackMukbangPockyRamenRicersThe SATTurning RedYaeba