Charles Whitman's Tumor

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To doctors: "After I am dead, please cut my head open and stab my tumor in the face."
Charles Whitman
Born June 24, 1941
Died August 1, 1966 (aged 25)
Nationality: Americunt  
Highscore Killed 17, injured 31
Top 50? 37th
Style FPS, Single player
An Hero? No, shot by cops


Oh, you think my headband looks gay, huh? Well, I'll kill your fetus!

Charles Joseph Whitman was a former high score holder and famous Marine IRL sharpshooter who held a demonstration of his amazing long range target shooting skills in Austin, Texas one summer day in 1966 to a crowd of screaming fans and dead bodies.

High as fuck on valium and dexedrine, enjoying the beautiful views from the Texas University campus Clock Tower wearing a faggy white headband and eating some Spam (srsly), Charles had a thought: since I happen to have an arsenal of guns with me, I might as well give a little impromptu show. For the lulz (we hope).

But when his fans started running away shouting "There's a sniper on the tower!" and falling down bleeding, he became confused and kept shooting. He also couldn't understand why cops were firing back and climbing the tower trying to kill him. There was, however, one entity that knew exactly what was going on: the massive evil TUMOR that had taken over Whitman's brain.

Background

For a long time, Charles was in charge. Though his father was a huge dick who enjoyed beating the shit out of his wife and terrorizing his children and insisting that they all play with guns together, Charles was able to keep the old man happy with his good grades and ability to "shoot the eye out of a squirrel at 50 yards." But after failing out of the Marines, Charles developed "hypergraphia" and began compulsively writing inspirational notes to himself, like ""CONTROL your anger. Don't let it prove you the fool" and "STOP cursing" and "CONTROL your passion; DON'T LET IT lead YOU" and "I intend to kill my wife after I pick her up from work." That was the tumor talking - a mass of evil tubes and tissues that was trolling the shit out of his brain.

The Tumor's Instructions

The instructions from the tumor were simple:

Take the following:

Kill the following:

Errand 1 (Mom)

"...as painlessly as possible."

On the evening of July 31, 1966, he went to his mother's apartment to put her to bed, as was his custom, except this time (to "relieve her sufferings") he dug a hole in the back of her head with his hunting knife, then plunged it into her heart. He then put her in bed and tucked her in, leaving a note beside her body:

   
 
I have just taken my mother's life.
 

 
 

—the tumor.

Errand 2 (Wife)

Back at home (because "I don't want her to have to face the embarrassment my actions would surely cause her"), Charles angry-fucked his sleeping wife in the chest with his bayonet like a brave Marine. Fortunately for you sick fucks, she slept naked, so the crime scene photos double as pron.

Last Note

Hypergraphic Whitman wrote constant notes and letters to himself even though he had nothing to say and brain cancer, making everything he ever wrote tl;dr garbage that all said the same thing:

   
 
I got a huge fucking HEADACHE, man!
 

 
 

—(This was because of the tumor)

Time to Gun Up

Having shown his mastery with the knife, it was now time for Charlie to make his Marine target trainers and father proud. He loaded up his Marine issue foot locker with over 500 pounds of guns and ammo and spray deodorant (srsly) and had to rent a fucking dolly to haul all the death tools up to the sniper spot.

The arsenal:

   
 
Spam, Planters peanuts, fruit cocktail, sandwiches and boxes of raisins, jerricans containing water and gasoline, rope, binoculars, canteens, transistor radio, toilet paper, Mennen spray deodorant, gay white headband, machete, Bowie knife, hatchet, hammer, compass, alarm clock, flash light, gloves, deer bag, 6-mm. Remington bolt-action rifle with a 4-power Leupold telescopic sight, 35-mm. Remington pump-action rifle, M-1 30-caliber Carbine, Sears 12-gauge shotgun (sawed off), 9-mm. Luger pistol, Galesi-Brescia pistol, .357 Smith & Wesson Magnum revolver, over 700 rounds of ammunition, spam.
 

 
 

—tl;dr -- guns 'n shit, and a hammer

Pre-Game

His destination was the observation deck of the campus Clock Tower, an over 300 foot tall edifice perfectly engineered for long rang FPS pwnage. There was a receptionist up there. 'No, I'm not the fucking janitor," he said, taking her skull apart with one home-run swing of his rifle butt and tucking her twitching body behind a couch.

As he was fucking her almost dead body, a group of tourists bounced up the stairs all excited about being on top of the famous tower. Charlie pulled the barrel of his freshly sawed-off shotgun out of the receptionist's bloody vagina and tore their faces off with buckshot and blood and then ate some snack foods. Two died, two never walked again.

Show Time!

The tumor brought him here -- Sniper's Paradise

Now it was down to business. The first kill had to be dramatic, and suddenly through the 4-power telescopic scope of his Remington 9mm. deer rifle he spotted a very pregnant 18 year old freshman strolling along the lovely north quad with her boyfriend. Demonstrating his truly astounding precision, Charlie put his first bullet through the skull of the fetus growing inside of her. No shit. In all official accounts, Charlie is given credit for this fetus kill, though lovers of abortion insist it shouldn't count because the fetus wasn't really alive. The girl survived, single now, Charlie lulzily holing out her boyfriend's chest as he came to her aid.

GAME OVER

The last thought of many of those milling around the tower was "What the…" before bullets tore into their heads or other vital organs. One young male student peaked out from behind a car and had enough time to say, "He's up there. I can see him" before Charlie told him to "STFU" with a bullet. In the mouth. From 500 yards.

And all along the watchtower for over an hour and a half Charlie (munching peanuts and drinking gasoline) played his rifle concerto. From unheard of distances bullets were hitting their targets no matter how small -- and amazingly he was more accurate when the target was moving. One man over 400 hundred yards away running as fast as he could felt a sting in his shoulder. Reaching safety all he could say was, "What a shot!" In the end Charlie's satanic tumor piled up nearly fifty bodies far and wide around the tower. 13 died. 12 if you love abortion.

The Heroes

Anti-lulz
After he was dead, the cops asked Whitman why he did it.

Pissed, humiliated, stupid, the cops decided to storm the castle. Four brave pigs gunned up and kicked the observation deck door down. Charlie, bathed in lulz and distracted by his tumor's boner, did not hear them coming. Before he could get a shot off, the cops unloaded into Charles Whitman's brain tumor with close-range anti-lulz shotgun blasts before fapping determinedly on the body.



Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count: 17/20 15 from tower, 2 before shooting
Accuracy: 16/20 Surprisingly not terrible kill to injury ratio for shooting from high ground
Style: 20/20 Went Paddock before your parents were even born
Butthurt: 20/20 Mass shootings unheard of at the time, much media bawwing
Bonus: 20/20 Set the first Americunt high score!
Total Score: 89/100 (B)
Semper Fi
See full ranking


Wanted Level:

Federal Bureau of Investigation


External links

All quotes are from the following sources, promise:

See Also


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Single Player Elite Hall of Fame

Adam LanzaAnders Behring BreivikAndrew KehoeAriana Grande MassacreBaruch GoldsteinBrenton TarrantCampo Elías DelgadoCho Seung-HuiDavid KozákDevin Patrick KelleyDong YanglingGabriel WortmanJack Gilbert GrahamJakrapanth ThommaJames HubertyLuby's massacreMartin BryantMutsuo ToiNice Truck Attack 2016Omar MateenPanya KhamrabPatrick CrusiusReina Nightclub MassacreSalvador RamosShinji AobaStephen PaddockTed BundyVladislav RoslyakovWilliam UnekWoo Bum-kon

Single Player Amateur Division

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Multiplayer Co-Op Mode

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Civilization and Great Prophets

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Banned From Scoring

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Charles Whitman's Tumor is part of a series on Psychopaths
[It rubs the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose againOpen the box]
Spree/One-time Killers:

Aaron AlexisAdam LanzaAlex HribalAlyssa BustamanteAnthony WarnerAudrey HaleBruce Jeffrey PardoCasey AnthonyCho Seung-HuiDevin Patrick KelleyDylan KleboldDylann Storm RoofEric HarrisGerry McCannJames HolmesJared Lee LoughnerJason RodriguezJeff WeiseJiverly Voong Joe StackJosef FritzlLaaiti EkenstéenMark EssexMartin BryantMatthew de GroodMatthew MurrayMatti SaariMaurice ClemmonsPekka-Eric AuvinenRaoul MoatRichard SpeckRobert HawkinsStephen PaddockTim KretschmerTimothy HendronTJ LaneTyler PetersonWade Michael PageWoo Bum-kon

Career/Serial Killers:

Academy ManiacsAdolf HitlerCharles MansonChris BenoitDnepropetrovsk ManiacsDubyaJack the RipperJeffrey DahmerMao ZedongRichard "The Iceman" KuklinskiTed Bundy

Terrorists:

Al QaedaAnders Behring BreivikAnderson Lee AldrichAnton Lundin PetterssonDzhokhar TsarnaevElliot RodgerGeorge SodiniManiacs Murder CultMark EssexNidal Malik HasanOsama bin LadenTamerlan TsarnaevTed Kaczynski

See also:

Antisocial personality disorderJewsMurderParanoid personality disorderPittsburgh Paint JobPolice BrutalitySick fuck

[Stop shooting!Pull the trigger]
Charles Whitman's Tumor is part of a series on Gun Control
Locus in quo:

Abilene Alleyway Shooting 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting 🔫 Chris Dorner 🔫 Christchurch mosque attacks 🔫 Colorado Theatre Shooting 🔫 David Long 🔫 Dayton shooting 🔫 El Paso Walmart Shooting 🔫 Elliot Rodger 🔫 Gilroy Garlic Festival Shooting 🔫 Jacksonville Shooting 🔫 Kyle Rittenhouse 🔫 Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting 🔫 Pulse Nightclub Massacre 🔫 Randy Stair 🔫 San Bernardino shooting 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre 🔫 Santa Fe High School Shooting 🔫 Shoahdown at the Synagogue of Doom 🔫 Las Vegas shooting 🔫 Texas church shooting 🔫 Umpqua Community College Shooting 🔫 Virginia Beach Shooting 🔫 Washington Navy Yard shooting 🔫 Youtube shooting 🔫

Supporters

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Main ideas:

Assault Rifle 🔫 Gun 🔫 Gun Control 🔫 Murder 🔫 Arson 🔫 Bombs 🔫 Mass Shooting 🔫 School Shooting 🔫

Haters gonna hate:

Daisy Hogg 🔫 Killers 🔫 Republicans

Acts of revenge:

Boston Marathon Bombing 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 Ariana Grande Massacre 🔫 London Bridge Attack 2017 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting

Objectors:

Charlton Heston 🔫 James Holmes 🔫 NRA 🔫 Osama Bin Laden 🔫 Republicans 🔫 People planning a massacre 🔫

Pre-2012 Gun Massacres

Columbine 🔫 École Polytechnique 🔫 Dawson College 🔫 Virginia Tech Massacre 🔫 Austin, Texas 🔫 NIU Valentine's Day Massacre 🔫 Hungerford Massacre 🔫 Anders Breivik

Charles Whitman's Tumor is part of a series on Columbine
[All jocks stand up!NBK]
Columbine:

ColumbineEric Harris and Dylan KleboldSuper Columbine Massacre RPGDo you believe in godColumbine CopycatsColumbine GalleryColumbiners

Admirers

Adam LanzaAlex HribalArtyom KazantsevAsa CoonBob8466Brooke Higgins & Sienna JohnsonCho Seung-HuiDillon CosseyIchverbotJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseKimveer GillLindsay Kantha SouvannarathLynn AnnNeocitiesNghtmrchld26Pekka-Eric AuvinenRobert Butler Jr.Robert HawkinsRobert SteinhäuserRyan SchallenbergerSebastian BosseSol PaisTheAmazingAtheistTim KretschmerVladislav RoslyakovWilliam AtchisonYou

Locations:

ColoradoUnited StatesSchoolSuburbs

Related:

DoomPolice BrutalityPostalSchool ShootingMass ShootingVideo gamesTrenchcoatMarilyn MansonKMFDMRammsteinGothConcerned MotherNewgroundsRyan LambournSchool Shooter: North American Tour 2012The MatrixSouth ParkMichael MooreQuentin Tarantino1990sJack ThompsonGun control

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Charles Whitman's Tumor is part of a series on Dying Alone

[DeadCry yourself to sleep]

Those Who Have Died Alone

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Those Dying Alone

03bgood2cash2 gryphon7jackass77Adam SandlerAhuviya HarelAIDS SkrillexAkewsticRockRAlex FordAlison RappAmerica's Third PartyAmy SchumerAndrew AllansonAngry JoeAnimatedJamesAnita SarkeesianAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAntony AguilarApril DavisAquagirlwhitefoxArgent009Arguecat3Arin HansonArmake21AsalieriAsher2500Austin AlexanderAvantGardePonyBambifan101BarneyfagBasement DwellersBen FordBen MoynihanBenny_the_SnakeBenthelooneyBig RedBikerfoxBill9929Bill GaedeBill GatesBLACKbusterCriticBob RehahnBrandontheMovieGuyBrandon SmithBrian MuellerBrian Richard ZaigerBrianna WuBroniesButLovaByAppointmentToCarl the CuckCartoonjunkieCaseydeckerCatboyKamiCheeyevChloe SagalChris-chanChris CrockerChuck M.Clint of Rise and FallCopperCabCorey MargeraCoughlan666CrazyvideosandrantsCrinklemonCyraxxDaniel BrandtDan CilleyDane CookDani FilthDarius McCollumDarknessthecurseDarksydePhilDave ChapelleDave MustaineDavid HockeyDaxflameDBoyWheelerDeekerDeterminedToDrawUTDev-catscratchDGTrixieDiaper BoyDillon CosseyDiogo MendesDisneyFan01DisneyMasterDJ KEEMSTARDnepropetrovsk maniacsDodgerofZionDogpatch PressDon RobertsDoodletonesDoomer3868Dorian_GayDoug WalkerDrakonDrossRotzankDoomentioDustinEDP445Emer PrevostEmosEpic Fat GuyEpicKitty54Eric AbramovEric RidenourErik RibsskogErtasVideosFilthy FrankFagolescentsFanFic CriticFast EddieFat ManFaust & Pory Five Nights at Freddy's fansFlardoxFluffy teh wolfForeverKailynFriends of A-LogFurriesG-ZayGather Against FateGeorge LopezGeosheaGhostGirlvinylGlobelampGoddessMilleniaGraykatGreg MazujianGwen GaleGwen StefaniHarmful OpinionsHellkiller777I Dislike Cis PeopleI Hate EverythingIan Miles CheongIchverboticze⁴rImma-The-DeerInkBunnyIsabella Loretta JankeJamil The KingJessi SlaughterJessica LeedsJim ProfitJINXDROWNEDJoe Crusher PicklesJoekerJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn KricfalusiJohn Patrick RogersJonathan McIntoshJonmonJonTronJoseph CampJoseph8276Joshua "Null" MoonJuggalosJustinRPGKat DenningsKendall JennerKeegan SalisburyKathleen ToddKenny GlennKevin HavensKeffalsKimmo Johan AlmKingEmpoleonKingMasterReviewKrashedLaci GreenLarry the Cable GuyLauren FaustLeafyIsHereLecarickLeigh AlexanderLeisureSuitGamingLena DunhamLeonard F. Shaner Jr.Leslie JonesLifeInATentLikeicareLinkaraLittleCloudLittleKuribohLogo KidsLordelthibarLow Tier GodLucian HodobocM. ChaosA Man in BlackManchildrenMar9122MarblesMarioMario456MariotehplumberMarjan SiklicmasteroogwgayMatthew DavisMatthew NicholsonMcJuggerNuggetsMDetector5‎MeowbarkMeganSpeaksMichael BattonMichael FitzhywelMichael GimsonMike SandyMoleman9000Monica PunkMonkeyGameGuidesMoviebobMumkey JonesMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanMysteriousMrEnterMysticArkNaokoElric2250NawlinWikiNeckbeardsNeoGAFNick BateNick BravoNikkineko333Noah AntwilerNostalgia ChickNotchNullcherriObjectfagsOFWGKTAOnideus Mad HatterOnyx ForepawPacificoceanasiaPaigeGirlPaul FeigPaulie CalafioreParkourdude91Peter BrightPeter CoffinPhantomStrider8Phil FishPhunWithLogicPinkieponyPit ViperPixyteriPeluchin EntertainmentPMRantsPreachingthegospelQuentin TarantinoRachael MacFarlaneRandi HarperRichard ReidRicki RavenRMG ProductionsRobert StaintonRobert Wayne StilesRockosockoRomeo RoseRootbrianRose3212Ryan RouthSad FrogSammyClassicSonicFanSam PepperSarah ButtsSarahisniftySaturnDOSSceptreSchnookumsSegacampSega KidSeth MacFarlaneSethistoShadmanSimply OkamiSlowbeef & DiabetusSnapesnoggerSonic SaviorSonmanicSony-MaeSophie LabelleSpax3StormySuperlisamcbSusan BoyleTara StrongTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagTheSockDetectiveTim BuckleyTJ LaneTodd in the ShadowsTom PrestonToonEGuyTourneyfagsTrey Eric SeslerTrigglypuffTyciolTyler GarmanyUlillilliaThe Unknown AutobotVadeVinceintheBayWade FulpWeatherManKevinWesley!!!WoWfan4lifeWwwareaWeegeeisgoingtokillmXenuriaYandereDevYoshiwii1Youyoungbloodfantasy91Zoe QuinnZone

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Charles Whitman's Tumor
is part of a series on
Terrorists
10%

Big Players

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Terrorist Groups, Beliefs and Causes

Arab Axis of Evil Binghampton Iran Ireland Islam Israel Maniacs Murder Cult Pakistan Palestine Sudan

Terrorist Actions

1-14 Jakarta Attacks 2017 Saint Petersburg Metro bombing American Airlines Flight 63 Ariana Grande Massacre ATHF Terrorist Attack Beheading videos Binghampton Tet Offensive BLMKidnapping Boston Marathon Bombing Breitscheidplatz Columbine Crocus City Hall Massacre Dallas Police Shootings Delaware State University Shooting Gaza War Halle synagogue shooting Khalid Masood's Westminster motor massacre London Bridge Attack 2017 Mass Shooting Narcovideos Nice Truck Attack 2016 Nitroglycerin Occupy Wall Street Oklahoma City Bombing Paris Mass Shooting Pittsburgh Paint Job Pulse Nightclub Massacre Police Brutality Ramadan Van Man Reina Nightclub Massacre VTech Waco WTC

Featured Article February 8th & 9th, 2014
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Fighteer
Charles Whitman's Tumor Succeeded by
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