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Kato

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Tomohiro Kato
Born September 28, 1982
Died July 26, 2022 (aged 39)
Nationality: Japanese  
Highscore Killed 7, injured 10
Top 50? 32nd
Style Carmageddon
An Hero? No, executed


  1. The funny kung-fu sidekick in the Pink Panther movies.
  2. The funny kung-fu sidekick (played by Bruce Lee) in the "Green Hornet" 1960s TV show.
  3. Dramatic recurring character in the Wikipedia Review.
  4. Poolboy who helped a nigger prove his "innocence".
  5. Tomohiro Kato, Japan's latest attempt to beat Cho's high score.
RINK MAH BOI
KATO!
Kato, moments before the attacks began.
Scratch 'n' Sniff; Japan style.
Kato being buttraped by the Flange.
Kato v The Fuzz.

June 8th, 2008

According to BBC News, Tomohiro Kato drove the sixty miles from his home to Akihabara, using his mobile phone all the way to post to "an internet bulletin board" about his inability to make friends.

   
 
I will kill people in Akihabara. I will use my truck, and if it is destroyed I will use my knife.
 

 
 

—Kato-san, making plans for massive carnage lulz.


He hired a truck for a Sunday lunchtime drive straight up the middle of the pedestrian shopping street, mowing down scenesters, bloggers, pedophiles, Wapanese, cosplayers, furries, otaku, and tourists alike. After mowing down as many unsuspecting spectators as he could, Kato attempted to mow down one of Akihabara's many fat American tourists, but found his ride was no match. Kato self-destructed his automobile, but not before leaping out to continue his vengeance on foot. However, in stead of using a firearm like lazy americunts would, Kato decided to go the ninja way, and drew his knife.

Kato murdered seven and put another ten in the hospital, which is a reasonable result for a city which has a cop hiding behind every lamp post. He receives full marks for style and execution.

Critics are already playing the blame game citing everything from, and including, Japan's current economic climate, video games, anime, internet culture and Japanese schoolgirls.


Kato's Messages

Taxed from News 24:

  • 05:21: "I'll crash my vehicle into people and if the vehicle becomes useless, I'll get out a knife. Goodbye everyone"
  • 05:21: "Sleepy"
  • 05:34: "My headache isn't getting any better"
  • 05:35: "And weather forecasts say it's gonna rain. What a disaster"
  • 05:44: "Getting arrested in the middle of this would suck"
  • 06:02: "I'm used to playing the good guy. People get fooled easily"
  • 06:03: "(I) was known to adults as a good kid - to adults"
  • 06:03: "Can't make friends, can I"
  • 06:04: "There are just a few buddies who gave me long friendships"
  • 06:05: "I'm still on an e-mail mailing list. I'm a bit happy about that"
  • 06:10: "They say the roads I was planning to use are closed. See, everything gets in my way"
  • 06:31: "It's time. Let's go"
  • 06:39: "Seems like it's going to be a struggle against the headache"
  • 06:49: "Against the rain, too"
  • 06:50: "Against time, too"
  • 07:30: "This rain is awful. Even though I prepared everything perfectly"
  • 07:47: "Well, I don't care. I'll go even if it's raining, even if it's on a small scale"
  • 09:48: "Taking a break as I arrived at Kanagawa (a prefecture near Tokyo). Seems like doing fine so far"
  • 10:53: "Terrible traffic jam. I wonder if I can get there on time"
  • 11:07: "Shibuya (a trendy part of Tokyo popular with young people) sucks"
  • 11:17: "It's sunny here"
  • 11:45: "Arrived in Akihabara"
  • 11:45: "Today streets are free of vehicles, aren't they?"
  • 12:10: "It's time."


Fun Fact(s)

  • Kato is literally a backwards Otaku with a NO U complex. THINK ABOUT IT. Coincidence or CONSPIRACY????
  • Before the attack, Kato gave away all his stuff - a console and a box of games - to a friend. Some have speculated that he was a fan of violent shooting games, but this behaviour is more characteristic of an MMORPG player - "I@M QUITTIN IRL 4EVA, COME 2 LOBBY 14 4 RAREZ."
  • The attack occurred exactly seven years after Mamoru Takuma's school chinkout.
  • Allegedly, Kato wrote an online message which referenced Masahiro Kanagawa, who went on a similar stabbing rampage just months earlier.


Aftermath

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count: 7/20
Accuracy: 13/20 10 injured
Style: 17/20 Vehicle AND stabbing rampage
Butthurt: 18/20 "Sent shock waves across Japan" Metal Gear Solid 4's launch was cancelled due to it
Bonus: 15/20 GTA 4 Japan mod
Total Score: 70/100 (C)
Japan really is filled with incels
See full ranking


Wanted Level:

Police Force


Garrery


Videos




See Also


External Links


Kato
is part of a series on
Elliot Rodger

Supreme Gentleman Elliot Rodger
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Predecessors Mutsuo ToiMarc LépineGeorge HennardFlemming NielsenDylan KleboldCho Seung-HuiTomohiro KatoGeorge Sodini
Traits Assburgers syndromeBatshit insaneMisogynyVirgin
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Kato is related to a series on AZNS. [Domo ArigatoHerrow]
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