Mari Iijima

This person is dying of terminal old. Please comfort them in their final moments by reminding them they will soon be a rotting corpse that nobody cares about.

Mari Iijima, better known by her real name Lynn Minmay, is a Los Angeles based singer, songwriter, pianist, composer, and actual anime character who has spent the last 30 years of her life "moving on" from being typecast due to her lead role in the landmark 80s anime series Macross. Her primary method of moving on is by telling her legions of Macross fantards that she no longer wants to be looked at as Lynn Minmei and that she will also be appearing at MacrossWorld convention this year to promote her new album.

“	I don't want to talk about Macross or Robetech while I'm being me Mari. I was showing some Grammy footage to share with you as a musician cause I attended there. Maybe some of you are always thinking about Macross, but I'm not. It was a long time ago's gig. A part of my past. Please know that and understand. I get annoyed sometimes. I don't need to hear about it everyday 24-7. Also . . . I didn't have anything to do with Robotech. I'm sure you meant well, Paul but I'm making my boundary clear & straight here. Thanks. And pleeease, don't always talk about Harry Potter when you encounter Daniel Radcliffe for the next 29 years. He'll jump from the bridge. Thank God, I'm still alive. I wasn't even an actor back then. I was typecast for a completely wrong occupation. I'm not offended. I admit I get annoyed hearing about IT sometimes. Can you imagine? Almost 30 freaking years, everyday everyday. Look at me NOW! I'm not living in the past!! Go, Mari.	„
—Mari, when a fan makes a Macross reference.

	“	I can promise you not to mention Macross all the time (definately won't mention Robotech)	„
	—Fan's response.

Early Life

Mari Iijima was born in 1982 when she was created as Lynn Minmay, anything that happened in her life before that is merely a time disturbance caused by space fold travel. As Lynn Minmay, she played the role of an extremely popular, obnoxious teenage singer who was obsessively lovesick with a pilot and could subdue enemy battleships with her voice. Two of these traits would follow her throughout the rest of her life, specifically "obnoxious" and "singer".

When she was first cast for the gig, Mari was under the presumption that it would be a small role and something to earn a few yen. Thus, it came to her surprise when the series achieved wide-spread popularity throughout the country, and unbeknownst to her, the entire world. Mari had no intentions of being a professional voice actor, her passion was in music.

Of course, achieving worldwide fame as a fictional singer helped her music career, as everyone was familiar with her work so marketing new music was pretty easy. A few of her albums hit the top 10 charts in Japan. However instead of riding the wave, she began to resent the fact that the only people buying the album were autistic Macross fans and they wouldn't stop asking her why her hair wasn't blue.

Anime Career

“	My name it Mari. Not Minmay. I don't really like that when people think of me as Minmay when I'm performing my own heart wrenching materials. Minmay has nothing to do with my music. She is not an alter ego of mine. She is part of my past. I adore her. Bit I'm not her. (Do you realize that she is an anime character that was created 26 years ago?). No one calls Jennifer Aniston "Rachel" any more, right? (Lucky her.) I won't do any Macross related gigs any more because I can't answer to people's expectations. I'm a human being. It's not a matter of "I don't want to". I physically & emotionally tighten up because of the pressure. It's like having a moment of severe nervous break down. Not good. I happened to play ONE animated character originally ages ago, that doesn't make me a voice actor. I don't have enough resume for it that I an't even get an agent for that occupation !! I'm not qualified (Don't get me wrong, I respect all the talented voice actors out there.) I can proudly say that I have more than 20 studio albums under my belt and I've written more than 300 hundred songs. I'm a musician. I accept my past. Buit it's no longer here. Let me let it go with love. If you want to book me as a musical guest for your event, I'll be glad to be there and perform my music with all my heart for you.	„
—August 2008

Mari is known for one thing and one thing only: Lynn Minmay. Had she embraced that and did additional voice overs she would have undoubtedly been successful, in her mind it was more fulfilling to pursue the fictional dreams of Minmay and become a superstar singer. Since authoring the rant above back in 2008, she has appeared at numerous Macross and anime conventions to promote her music.

Complete History of Mari's Voice Over Career:

1982: Macross
1984: Macross
2006: Macross
2013: Macross, the video game

Music Career

Mari had enough of the fanboys, packed her shit and moved to Los Angeles. Surely nobody knows about anime in the United States, right? Upon arrival, she was instantly greeted to the warm embrace of hundreds of thousands of Robotech fans, the name given to the English version of Macross.

	“	We all need to move on in life. I do daily. More than anyone! But at the same time, my life is like the film The Groundhog's Day for the last 30 years. I moved to the States I thought it would ease my frustration but guess what, it didn't. Surprise, surprise.	„

Her English albums didn't get much attention because it sounds like hours of love songs sung by Ms. Swan. For the next decade she would go largely unnoticed, and play for a dwindling number of fans at various Los Angeles music clubs since anime fans do not leave the basement under any circumstances. She has developed an unusual pseudo-American accent when singing Japanese, and has been described by critics of having the mannerisms of an old lady (protip: she's 51). In 2009, she went against the advice of her talent agent and fought valiantly for a two second role in a Pepsi commercial. As of 2010, she was still waiting for her big break.

2011

As of 2014, she's getting close.

Compared to 2011, vast improvements.

“	So I visited the UCLA campus on Thursday, May 7 as a guest speaker for two of the Japanese classes. Professor Asako is a dear friend of mine :) I spoke about the music, how I started, how I became professional. The importance of being and staying original. And the importance of not compromising too much in life. Believing in ourselves, and not to listen to other people's opinions too much.	„
—Highly qualified advice.

One may wonder why, after so many years, she never caught that big break. The simple answer is that went from superstar kawaii pop idol to granny weeaboo with denture problems in the span of 30 years. But don't take our word for it, you be the judge.

Circa 1984

Recent

She still offers piano lessons at the low low cost of $100 per hour.

Tour Troubles

	“	I always loved the room service at this hotel, but they're saving power, so no more room service since the Japan disaster. I'm trying to understand it. But I'm a little disappointed.	„
	—Inconvenienced by Fukushima.

The majority, if not all, of Mari's performances are at bars or anime conventions. Once a year, she applies to perform at SXSW, a music festival in Texas. Once a year, SXSW declines her request. Mari handles this in the most professional way possible.

You rejected me? Boooooo!
Your loss!
Fuck you, I don't want to perform there anyway!
I'm going to Ohio!

Fan Interaction

	“	Even if I was talking about let's say . . . my poop or boobs, you guys start talking about Macross right away. How crazy is that. I'm completely being honest here.	„

To better promote herself, Mari has taken to social media in order to argue with her fanbase and share mundane details about her personal life. Over the past few years, she has proven to be an exact real-life replica of the anime character she has frivolously tried to escape. Her timeline is chock full of desperate pleas for attention, getting mad at her fans, getting mad at her parents, cringe worthy displays of hopeless optimism, blaming her period, blaming the industry, blaming Macross, taking selfies with her bunny rabbit whom she has declared is a suitable replacement for her ex-husband, and comparing herself to a prostitute.

Most prevalent is her insistence that everyone just LET IT GO. Unbeknownst to her, she is dealing with the autistic who will be building shrines and quoting Macross long after she is dead.

Gallery of butthurt About missing Pics

I'm living in the now an all you fanboys need to let the past go.
It's my birthday, please don't talk about Macross.
No seriously, stop talking about Macross.
I would rather sing in a coffee shop than perform for Macross fans.

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	“	Happy 27th Anniversay Mari!! You've been a musician all your life. That's what you do and keep on going. Rose' is a great album so is Echo.	„
	—Mari, her own #1 fan

Why don't you google it.
Sorry, PMS.
I was not influenced by Cyndi fucking Lauper
Be sure to study my album before you come to my show.
Don't post my damn emails to 2chan.
In case you forgot, my music has nothing to do with Macross.

Creative Process

	“	When I'm completely into "creating", I almost can't function as a regular human being. Today, after I took a shower, I realized my head was sticky. I totally forgot to rinse after I put some conditioner in my hair.	„
	—Maybe it's alzheimers.

Producing a new album that nobody listens to every year for 30 years is a daunting task, but not if your name is Mari Iijima and you ignore the basic principal of quality over quantity. It's also very important that you micro-manage every stage of the production process to make sure any disturbances (see also: suggestions) in your work are nipped in the bud.

My shrink likes my music.

Personal Life

“	Once in a while I check Wikipedia to see what people are writing about. People write about me like they know me more than I do. It's pure weirdness. They describe me the way they think I should be described. I often feel like I'm molded into something that I'm not on virtual paper. Unfortunately when people google, the Wiki info is the first thing they see. The dictionary that some random people created about you. It's a crazy world.	„
—April 2009

Since her divorce and her twin sons graduating college, Mari has found companionship in two things. Arguing with fans on facebook, and her bunny rabbit which cannot argue back. A contributing factor in Mari being ruthlessly typecast as Lynn Minmay throughout her life is that she acts exactly like a 16 year old girl. Occasionally, Mari forgets to take her meds and has a public bout with depression. Thankfully these do not last long, as she quickly remembers her missed dose and travels back to fantasy la-la land where she's still an ambitious young singer who will someday become the biggest music star in the world.

Mood Swings

Like any teenager, her bouts of depression are followed by attention seeking and like whoring. Her army of white knights have no qualms with giving her what she wants. She has managed to rack up so many pity points that there is simply no safe place on the internet to critisize her work, as evident by this /m/ thread. Despite the countless public beatdowns delivered to fanboys, alas Mari can do no wrong and is forever guarded by the ghosts of nostalgia past.

Gallery of Moodyness About missing Pics

If you want me to be happy, stop talking about Macross :(
You like my bunny photos more than my music :(
I'm an awful person :(
Pay me please :(
Deleted suicide threat

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Strong independent woman who don't need no man

Rabbit Lady

One thing that Mari did which Lynn Minmay did not do however is replace her lover with a rabbit. This love is a double edged sword, as she can be found complaining that her rabbit gets more likes than her music. It takes a special kind of performer to get out shined by a bunny, and one is left to ponder if she'd have better luck letting Bun-kun produce her music.

	“	It seems that people like my Bunny videos and photos so much more than my actual music. We- musicians- need to be supported, for us to keep on going. Action speaks louder than words.	„

Veganism

One way that Mari subconsciously typecasts herself as Minmay is that she starves herself of God-given meat to maintain the physique of a 16 year old girl. This may also be a subconscious attempt to actually become one with the rabbit.

	“	These vegan meatballs taste really like meat. I'm starting to worry. SOS!! lol	„
	—Wonder why

	“	I have to let you know a horror story. I investigated this incident and it turned out that they were out of vegan meatballs so they sent the actual MEATballs to me without my permission. So I ate actual meat & this is so not acceptable. I'll never order food from this restaurant. Sorry, cows & piggies. It was not my intention. Sad and awful :( No wonder my stomach has been acting weird since I ate my lunch :( :( :(	„
	—Sounds like a case for Saul Goodman.