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Kamala Harris (prostitute)

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This could be your next President.

Kamala Devi Harris, not to be confused with the late professional wrestler James "Kamala" Harris, is a totally mid prostitute turned Democrat politician who is currently Vice President of the United States and running for President in the 2024 election in an attempt to defeat Donald Trump. A former prosecutor, Kamala is a massive hypocrite who says that people shouldn't be in prison for possessing weed despite the fact that she locked up thousands of mostly black Californians for marijuana possession. She is also known for laughing like a hyena and having a massive pseudo-penis like Michelle Obama and a hyena.

Harris has served as Vice President for almost 4 years under Joe Biden, a senile old man that she's admitted she believes is a rapist. But hey, anything for power, amirite? When Kamala was 29, she began a relationship with Willie Brown, the married 60-year-old Mayor of San Franshitsco. Kamala would regularly suck Willie Brown's brown willy to get ahead in life and gain new career opportunities. She later dated talk show host Montel Williams. In 2014, Kamala finally decided to stop thotting around with geriatric black guys and married Lawyer and professional white guy, Doug Emhoff.

Kamala Harris is regarded as a role model for little girls and serves as proof that sucking the dick of a powerful man will always get you ahead in life, even if you are an obnoxious, mentally retarded hypocrite and third-rate pussy. Despite having the speaking prowess of an 8-year-old with ADHD, Harris actually has a chance of becoming President and getting her hands on the nuclear launch codes – which should fucking terrify you.

Luckily, as Hillary Clinton proved and we all now know: If there's one thing Donald Trump is good at, it's beating women.

... in elections we mean... and perhaps also in the face if need be.

Whoring Your Way To The Top

Harris and Willie Brown on one of their "dates".

In the early 1990s 29-year-old Kamala Harris, who was at the time the deputy district attorney of Alameda County, began giving the ol' hawk tuah to San Francisco mayor Willie Lewis Brown Jr., a man who was twice her age at the time. In exchange for Kamala's dangerously toothy blowjobs, Willie rewarded her by appointing her to several commissions to help advance her career.

   
 
Whether you agree or disagree with the system, I did the work.
 

 
 

—Harris, justifying whoring herself out to Willie Brown.


Despite Willie's blatant nepotism, Kamala decided to show what an ungrateful bitch she is by stating that she would still lock him up if he got caught jaywalking.

   
 
Harris is the only one who, after I helped her, sent word that I would be indicted if I 'so much as jaywalked' while she was D.A. That's politics for ya.
 

 
 

—Willie Brown, realizing he shouldn't stick his dick in crazy


2020 Democrat Primaries

In 2020, Kamala Harris was one of at least 100 Democrats who attempted to run for President. Unfortunately for her, she ended up getting bodied so hard by Hawaii congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard during the Democratic Primaries that she ended up immediately dropping out. You can watch this brutal pwning below in all its glory.


Cumdumpster in Chief

Biden and Harris on their way to stop COVID.

After Harris got BTFO by Tulsi, former Vice President Joe Biden would go on to win the 2020 Democratic nomination despite being a pedophile, a rapist, a racist and a dementia-ridden vegetable. Because Joe Biden is so smart, he decided that his Vice Presidential pick should be an African-American woman of sub-par sexual attractiveness in order to better appeal to le 56% voter. But because Joe Biden is a racist and a retard, he instead chose Kamala Harris as his VP despite the fact that neither Jamaicans nor Indians are from fucking Africa.

Game Joever

On July 21, 2024, U.S. "President" Joe Biden abruptly ended his reelection bid after weeks of his fellow Democrats telling him to drop the fuck out. This was a result of both Biden's horrendous performance at the first presidential debate on June 27th, the attempted assassination of Donald Trump on July 13th and all of the polls for the past month making it abundantly clear that Joe about to be assraped by Donald Trump in November should he be the Democrats' nominee.

See Also

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