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Sagamihara Stabbings

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This page is about an attempted an hero.
This person has ADHD.
consider yourself warned for the uncontrollable and inhumane levels of retardation ahead.
HOLD IT! STEP THE FUCK OFF!
Sagamihara Stabbings looks like shit but it is NOT a {{crapstub}}. It is a work in progress!
If you require assistance beefing up this article, then hit up the experts on our IRC.



   
 
If I kill a disabled person, Trump will press the like button. If i kill someone before the election, the laws will change. I will be a hero
 

 
 

—Satoshi Uematsu, probably on weed

Satoshi Uematsu
Born January 20, 1990 (34 years old)
Nationality: Nihonjin  
Occupation Philanthropist
Highscore Killed 19, injured 26
Top 50? 11th (Japan: 2nd!!!)
Style Hack'N'Slash
An Hero? No (turned himself in)
Motive Ableism, Schizophrenia

Just 3 days after the epic David Sonboly's kebab removing amoklauf that killed 9 Turkroaches, Japan BTFO Deutschland by scoring more than twice as many frags in their own attempt at the high score—all while using just a knife. This impressive score for a knife-only round was pulled off by Satoshi Uematsu (Japanese: 国民的英雄), a 34-year-old professional eugenicist and former nurse at the Tsukui Yamayuri En care home (the location of the attack). Satoshi admitted that he wished to purify the genepool by removing Retards and the Disabled, as well as to prevent World War III lol.

The massacre shocked Japan but was forgotten by the rest of the world after 1 week as rampage killings are a daily occurrence now.

こんにちは、若者!

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count: 19/20 Almost there!
Accuracy: 8/20 Killed 19, injured 26. Not bad considering the weapon.
Style: 18/20 Murdered retards in their sleep.
Butthurt: 20/20 Feels no remorse, many lulz.
Bonus: 20/20 Doing God's work.
Total Score: 85/100 (B+)
Master Eugenicist; Japan's Angel of Death. Darwin would be proud.
See full ranking


Wanted Level:
___________________

___________________


Porees forus


Round 2

A few months after this attack, a Chinese man named Yang Qingpei proceeded to carry out a stabbing rampage. He scored 19 frags like Satoshi did, but left no survivors in the process. He killed Mom and Dad over some bullshit argument, yet had the great idea that he needed to kill 17 other people in order to cover up his crime. He was playing Hitman IRL and was too much of a clutz to use proper stealth, giving him the ranking of Mass Murderer. He will not be unlocking a silenced M4A41-s for this.


See Also

External Links



Sagamihara Stabbings is part of a series on Are You Ready? [GAME OVERInsert Coin] Go!

Sagamihara Stabbings is part of a series on 日本国


Typical Japanese People. 日本人
Filthy FrankHard GayMutsuo ToiOtoya YamaguchiSatoshi UematsuShoko Asahara

Typical Japanese Culture. 日本の人文

2chanAnimeAnimu ArchetypesBig DaikonDating simGaidenHerbivore MenJapanese Bug FightsMangaShimajiro


Typical Japanese Porn. 日本の猥本
BukkakeGuroHarem ComedyHentaiLoliconPantyshotShotaconYaoiYuri

Sagamihara Stabbings is part of a series on Psychopaths
[It rubs the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose againOpen the box]
Spree/One-time Killers:

Aaron AlexisAdam LanzaAlex HribalAlyssa BustamanteAnthony WarnerAudrey HaleBruce Jeffrey PardoCasey AnthonyCho Seung-HuiDevin Patrick KelleyDylan KleboldDylann Storm RoofEric HarrisGerry McCannJames HolmesJared Lee LoughnerJason RodriguezJeff WeiseJiverly Voong Joe StackJosef FritzlLaaiti EkenstéenMark EssexMartin BryantMatthew de GroodMatthew MurrayMatti SaariMaurice ClemmonsPekka-Eric AuvinenRaoul MoatRichard SpeckRobert HawkinsStephen PaddockTim KretschmerTimothy HendronTJ LaneTyler PetersonWade Michael PageWoo Bum-kon

Career/Serial Killers:

Academy ManiacsAdolf HitlerCharles MansonChris BenoitDnepropetrovsk ManiacsDubyaJack the RipperJeffrey DahmerMao ZedongRichard "The Iceman" KuklinskiTed Bundy

Terrorists:

Al QaedaAnders Behring BreivikAnderson Lee AldrichAnton Lundin PetterssonDzhokhar TsarnaevElliot RodgerGeorge SodiniManiacs Murder CultMark EssexNidal Malik HasanOsama bin LadenTamerlan TsarnaevTed Kaczynski

See also:

Antisocial personality disorderJewsMurderParanoid personality disorderPittsburgh Paint JobPolice BrutalitySick fuck

Sagamihara Stabbings is related to a series on AZNS. [Domo ArigatoHerrow]
More Dangerous Than They Look

Bus UncleElliot RodgerFilthy FrankHideki KamiyaJiverly VoongKatoKenneth EngLindsay Kantha SouvannarathMutsuo ToiNevada-tanOtoya YamaguchiPoisonIvyLulRiboflavinRockonlittleoneRyan's WorldSarah JeongVicki SighVincent LiWayne Chiang

Noted Tyrants

Chairman MaoCho Seung-HuiEllen PaoHirohitoKim Jong IlMontezumaPol PotShinzo AbeWoo Bum-kon


Cam Whores

@OzcultAyuka NaritaBiostudentgirlEelgirlEmotion EricHard GayLittle FattyTila TequilaTubgirlThe Wine KoneTrap-kunXiao RishuYuri Kochiyama

Weeaboos

AimeeApplemilk1988Arudou DebitoDesu-radioFiredarkdragonFred GallagherHidoshiJellobunsKevin and KatMari IijimaMRirianPyroboobyReyvataeilSe-chanSnapesnoggerTwo-Ton-NekoValerie (Pai)ZS3

Musical Endeavors

J-EmoJ-PopJ-RockKpop

Me No Rikey Velly Much

Game2WinterMark WahlbergMiley CyrusPatrick PurdyRobert Aaron LongRucka Rucka AliUnited Airlines

Azn Stuff

1-14 Jakarta Attacks2017 Saint Petersburg Metro bombingAnti-CNNAugust 6 & 9 1945Edison Chen photo scandalFan deathMilkMizhi County No. 3 Middle School AttackMukbangPockyRamenRicersThe SATTurning RedYaeba