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Alek Minassian: Difference between revisions
imported>GirlOnInternet Created page with "'''Alek Minassian''' is a true Canadian hero who, on April 23, 2018, managed to kill 10 disgusting normies in a deadly '''Toronto Van Attack''' that he committed n..." |
imported>Antonov considerably improved. |
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'''Alek Minassian''' | {{Failsathero}} | ||
{{aspergers}} | |||
{| class="infobox" style="float:right;margin:0 0 1em 1em; border-width:1px; border-style:solid; border-color:black; width:200px;font-size:95%;clear:right;" cellspacing="5" | |||
|+ style="text-align:center;" | '''Alek Minassian''' | |||
<!--|- | |||
| colspan="2" style="padding-bottom:1em; text-align:center;" | [[File:Elliot Mlady.jpg|150px]] | |||
--> | |||
|- style="vertical-align: top; text-align: right;" | |||
| '''Born''' | |||
| style="vertical-align: top; text-align: left;" | November 3, 1992 | |||
|- style="vertical-align: top; text-align: right;" | |||
|'''Nationality''' | |||
| style="vertical-align: top; text-align: left;" | [[Canada|Soviet Canuck]] [[File:Canada flag.gif|25px]] | |||
|- style="vertical-align: top; text-align: right;" | |||
|'''[[High_score|Highscore]]''' | |||
| style="vertical-align: top; text-align: left;" | Killed 10 | |||
Injured 13 | |||
|- style="vertical-align: top; text-align: right;" | |||
|'''Style''' | |||
| style="vertical-align: top; text-align: left;" | Single Player / Truck of Peace | |||
|- style="vertical-align: top; text-align: right;" | |||
|'''[[An Hero]]''' | |||
| style="vertical-align: top; text-align: left;" | No (arrested) | |||
|- style="vertical-align: top; text-align: right;" | |||
|'''[[High_score|Rank]]''' | |||
| style="vertical-align: top; text-align: left;" | [[Loser|43rd Place]] :( | |||
|} | |||
'''Alek Minassian''' is an Armenian-Canadian best known worldwide as the present high-score holder for Canadian usage Grand-Theft-Auto, when on April 23rd, 2018, head utilized | |||
the well-proven truck of peace to relieve 10 unfortunate canucks of their lives. Like other national treasures such as [[Luka Magnotta]], [[Mark Lepine]], and [[Justin Trudeau]], | |||
Alek Minassian sought to improve his life, and ideally end it, through bloodshed and notoriety. Unforunately for him, as a certified [[autism|autist]], he couldn't even | |||
get the [[police]] to shoot him, thus finding himself [[cuck|cucked]] for the umpteenth time. | |||
== Childhood == | |||
Minassian was born in Toronto, Canada, and was educated at Thornlea Secondary School. He was described as fidgety and socially awkward, symptoms that in retrospect | |||
clearly indicated autism. An interview with his mother, Sona Minassian, suggested that he suffered from [[aspergers]] syndrome. Minassian was described as | |||
[[CS III|proficient with computers]], and created an [[Android]] app to locate parking spaces in Toronto. At the time of his attack, Minassian had just | |||
graduated from Seneca College, a local post secondary instuition. | |||
== Incel Rebellion == | |||
On April 23rd, 2018, the bucolic nation of Canada was knocked into action by a 2.3 ton white moving van, hurtling down a pedestrian kerb. Eyewitnesses report | |||
flying bodies, smushed canucks, and the wails of wives and children, as Alek deftly manuevered his vehicle through crowds. After 20 minutes of grand theft auto | |||
re-enactment, the vehicle hit a bollard, and Minassian stepped out, only to be confronted by police. 10 people were killed, and an additional 14 were injured. | |||
===Supreme Gentlemenry?=== | |||
[[File:Alek Minassian linkedin profile.png|thumb|Ladies, he's going to be single for a long time]] | |||
At first, the [[Old Media]] was convinced itself that this was yet another case of [[mental illness]], then as possibly revenge for the [[Armenian]] genocide, | |||
or possibly the innate violence of autists manifested in truck format. Meanwhile, the <s>retards</s> top minds on [[reddit]] and [[4chan|pol]] convinced themselves | |||
that the [[islam|religion of peace]] was once again the culprit. The truth turned out to be far purer, more elegant - it was to be the start of the [[incel]] | |||
uprising. In an ill-advised post to Facebook, Alek Minassian promised to overthrow the Chads and the Stacies - conveniently neglecting to note that without thots, | |||
he would never get laid. | |||
[[File:Minassian supreme gentleman.png|thumb|Virgin Cucks vs Chad Terrorist?]] | |||
Needless to say, the [[feminists]] lost their shit, and a torrent of vitriol flowed from the old media on the dangers of toxic masculinity and autistics. | |||
===An Hero Fail=== | |||
Originally, Alek Minassian tried to kill himself. When that didn't work, he tried to get the police to kill him, by pointing a "gun" at the police, and demanding | |||
that he be shot. Unfortunately, it turns out the Police are the real Chads, and Minassian really was just another virgin, and he was promptly cucked when the police | |||
arrested him without firing a single shot. As a result of this oversight, he can look now forward to conviction, then detainment and anal rape, for so long as it | |||
pleases Her Majesty. Fail. | |||
==High Score== | |||
{| style="{{roundy|18px}}{{gradlinear|red|orange}}box-shadow:0 3px 6px gray;padding:1em;margin:0 auto 1em auto;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="2" border="0" | |||
|- | |||
! colspan="2" style="{{roundy|9px}}background-color:red;box-shadow:0 3px 6px orange;" | <big>Graded score</big> | |||
|- | |||
| colspan="2" style="height:9px;overflow:hidden;" | | |||
|- | |||
! style="text-align:right;" | Kill count: | |||
|10/20 (14 injured) | |||
|- | |||
! style="text-align:right;vertical-align:top;" | Accuracy: | |||
|not applicable - Canada has cucked gun laws. | |||
|- | |||
! style="text-align:right;" | Style: | |||
|18/20 ''Most effective use of Grand Theft Auto in Canada'' | |||
|- | |||
! style="text-align:right;" | Butthurt: | |||
|18/20 ''Feminists in an outrage; the Prime Minister personally bawled on twitter.'' | |||
|- | |||
! style="text-align:right;vertical-align:top;" | Bonus: | |||
|18/20 ''Beta Uprising copycat, trolled feminazis, etc.'' | |||
|- | |||
! colspan="2" style="{{roundy|9px}}background-color:orange;box-shadow:0 3px 6px yellow;" | <big>Total score: 64/80 ('''A-''')</big> | |||
|} | |||
<center>'''Armenian Genocides You'''</center> | |||
<center>'''[[High Score| See full ranking]]'''</center> | |||
== | <center> | ||
<div style="{{roundy|10px}}border:2px solid #000;width:30%;background:linear-gradient(#e18f80, #666c05);background:-moz-linear-gradient(#002db3, #4da6ff);background:-webkit-linear-gradient(#002db3, #4da6ff);background:-o-linear-gradient(#e18f80, #666c05);padding:10px;font-weight:bold;font-size:larger"> | |||
<span style="font-size:16pt;font-weight:bold">Wanted Level:</span> | |||
<br> | |||
<span> ___________________ </span> | |||
{|align="center" | |||
|[[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]] | |||
|[[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]] | |||
|} | |||
<span> ___________________ </span> | |||
<br> | |||
{|align="center" | |||
|[[File:Wanted2police.png|128px]] | |||
|} | |||
<br> | |||
<span style="font-size:12pt;">'''Police Force'''</span> | |||
</div><br> | |||
</center> | |||
* [[ | ==See Also== | ||
* [[Virgin]] | {{Killers}} | ||
* [[ | *[[Elliot Rodger]] | ||
*[[LoveShy|Love Shy]] | |||
*[[Misogyny]] | |||
*[[Luka Magnotta]] | |||
*[[George Sodini]] | |||
*[[Marjan Siklic]] | |||
*[[Fedora]] | |||
*[[Friend Zone]] | |||
*[[Nice guys]] | |||
*[[Virgin]] | |||
*[[School shooting]] | |||
{{High Scores}} | {{High Scores}} | ||
{{Psychopaths}} | |||
{{stub}} | |||
[[Category:Incels]] | |||
Revision as of 03:13, 25 April 2018
|
|
This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
| Born | November 3, 1992 |
| Nationality | Soviet Canuck 
|
| Highscore | Killed 10
Injured 13 |
| Style | Single Player / Truck of Peace |
| An Hero | No (arrested) |
| Rank | 43rd Place :( |
Alek Minassian is an Armenian-Canadian best known worldwide as the present high-score holder for Canadian usage Grand-Theft-Auto, when on April 23rd, 2018, head utilized the well-proven truck of peace to relieve 10 unfortunate canucks of their lives. Like other national treasures such as Luka Magnotta, Mark Lepine, and Justin Trudeau, Alek Minassian sought to improve his life, and ideally end it, through bloodshed and notoriety. Unforunately for him, as a certified autist, he couldn't even get the police to shoot him, thus finding himself cucked for the umpteenth time.
Childhood
Minassian was born in Toronto, Canada, and was educated at Thornlea Secondary School. He was described as fidgety and socially awkward, symptoms that in retrospect clearly indicated autism. An interview with his mother, Sona Minassian, suggested that he suffered from aspergers syndrome. Minassian was described as proficient with computers, and created an Android app to locate parking spaces in Toronto. At the time of his attack, Minassian had just graduated from Seneca College, a local post secondary instuition.
Incel Rebellion
On April 23rd, 2018, the bucolic nation of Canada was knocked into action by a 2.3 ton white moving van, hurtling down a pedestrian kerb. Eyewitnesses report flying bodies, smushed canucks, and the wails of wives and children, as Alek deftly manuevered his vehicle through crowds. After 20 minutes of grand theft auto re-enactment, the vehicle hit a bollard, and Minassian stepped out, only to be confronted by police. 10 people were killed, and an additional 14 were injured.
Supreme Gentlemenry?
At first, the Old Media was convinced itself that this was yet another case of mental illness, then as possibly revenge for the Armenian genocide,
or possibly the innate violence of autists manifested in truck format. Meanwhile, the retards top minds on reddit and pol convinced themselves
that the religion of peace was once again the culprit. The truth turned out to be far purer, more elegant - it was to be the start of the incel
uprising. In an ill-advised post to Facebook, Alek Minassian promised to overthrow the Chads and the Stacies - conveniently neglecting to note that without thots,
he would never get laid.
Needless to say, the feminists lost their shit, and a torrent of vitriol flowed from the old media on the dangers of toxic masculinity and autistics.
An Hero Fail
Originally, Alek Minassian tried to kill himself. When that didn't work, he tried to get the police to kill him, by pointing a "gun" at the police, and demanding that he be shot. Unfortunately, it turns out the Police are the real Chads, and Minassian really was just another virgin, and he was promptly cucked when the police arrested him without firing a single shot. As a result of this oversight, he can look now forward to conviction, then detainment and anal rape, for so long as it pleases Her Majesty. Fail.
High Score
| Graded score | |
|---|---|
| Kill count: | 10/20 (14 injured) |
| Accuracy: | not applicable - Canada has cucked gun laws. |
| Style: | 18/20 Most effective use of Grand Theft Auto in Canada |
| Butthurt: | 18/20 Feminists in an outrage; the Prime Minister personally bawled on twitter. |
| Bonus: | 18/20 Beta Uprising copycat, trolled feminazis, etc. |
| Total score: 64/80 (A-) | |
Wanted Level:
___________________
|
|
___________________
|
Police Force
See Also
- Elliot Rodger
- Love Shy
- Misogyny
- Luka Magnotta
- George Sodini
- Marjan Siklic
- Fedora
- Friend Zone
- Nice guys
- Virgin
- School shooting
