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Andrew Kehoe: Difference between revisions
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! style="text-align:right;" | Kill count: | ! style="text-align:right;" | Kill count: | ||
| | |44/20 ''44 kills, including 38 elementary school children'' | ||
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! style="text-align:right;vertical-align:top;" | Accuracy: | ! style="text-align:right;vertical-align:top;" | Accuracy: | ||
| | |10/20 ''Half of his explosives failed to detonate, but that would have just been added lulz'' | ||
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! style="text-align:right;" | Style: | ! style="text-align:right;" | Style: | ||
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|20/20 ''He could have sold his farm equipment to pay off his mortgage, but chose to blow up a school instead'' | |20/20 ''He could have sold his farm equipment to pay off his mortgage, but chose to blow up a school instead'' | ||
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! colspan="2" style="{{roundy|9px}}background-color:orange;box-shadow:0 3px 6px yellow;" | <big>Total score: | ! colspan="2" style="{{roundy|9px}}background-color:orange;box-shadow:0 3px 6px yellow;" | <big>Total score: 114/100 ('''S and a smiley sticker for each dead teacher''')</big> | ||
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<center>'''The dream outcome for all school shooters throughout history'''</center> | <center>'''The dream outcome for all school shooters throughout history'''</center> | ||
Revision as of 00:10, 18 March 2018
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NO COLOREDS The events described in this article took place prior to the invention of colors in the 1960s. Expect all images to be presented in 50 shades of grey. |
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|---|---|
| Andrew Philip Kehoe | |
| Nationality: | Americunt 
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| Highscore | Killed 44, injured 58 |
| Top 25? | #1 Murican school attack |
| Style | Lots of it |
| An Hero? | Blew himself up |
| Motive: | ??? |
Andrew Philip Kehoe was a true American hero who, on May 18th, 1927, bravely fought and died for the future of his country by blowing up 38 elementary school students with a fuckton of dynamite and Pyrotol that he had been systematically planting underneath the Bath Consolidated School in Bath Township, Michigan, over the course of several months.
After eliminating 38 kids, 2 teachers and his own wife, Kehoe made his last stand by blowing up his shrapnel-filled Ford Model A along with the school's superintendent, himself and two other dumb cunts who really should have been admiring Kehoe's limited edition Michael Bay Model A from a safer distance.
Lulz is made, not born.
And boom goes the dynamite!
Gallery
Graded Score
| Graded score | |
|---|---|
| Kill count: | 44/20 44 kills, including 38 elementary school children |
| Accuracy: | 10/20 Half of his explosives failed to detonate, but that would have just been added lulz |
| Style: | 20/20 Successfully planted over 500 pounds of dynamite beneath a fucking elementary school |
| Butthurt: | 20/20 Still the deadliest attack on a school in Murican history |
| Bonus: | 20/20 He could have sold his farm equipment to pay off his mortgage, but chose to blow up a school instead |
| Total score: 114/100 (S and a smiley sticker for each dead teacher) | |
Wanted Level:
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National Guard
See Also
- Suicide Bomber - Kehoe was the first.
- Charles Whitman's Tumor
- Adam Lanza
- Sandy Hook
- Columbine
- Timothy McVeigh
- Pekka-Eric Auvinen
- School shooting
- 9/11
- Boston Marathon Bombing
- Epic Win
|
Spree/One-time Killers: |
Aaron Alexis • Adam Lanza • Alex Hribal • Alyssa Bustamante • Anthony Warner • Audrey Hale • Bruce Jeffrey Pardo • Casey Anthony • Cho Seung-Hui • Devin Patrick Kelley • Dylan Klebold • Dylann Storm Roof • Eric Harris • Gerry McCann • James Holmes • Jared Lee Loughner • Jason Rodriguez • Jeff Weise • Jiverly Voong • Joe Stack • Josef Fritzl • Laaiti Ekenstéen • Mark Essex • Martin Bryant • Matthew de Grood • Matthew Murray • Matti Saari • Maurice Clemmons • Nicholas Prosper • Pekka-Eric Auvinen • Peter Scully • Raoul Moat • Richard Speck • Robert Hawkins • Stephen Paddock • Tim Kretschmer • Timothy Hendron • TJ Lane • Tyler Peterson • Wade Michael Page • Woo Bum-kon |
|---|---|---|
| Career/Serial Killers: |
Academy Maniacs • Adolf Hitler • Charles Manson • Chris Benoit • Dnepropetrovsk Maniacs • Dubya • Jack the Ripper • Jeffrey Dahmer • Mao Zedong • Richard "The Iceman" Kuklinski • Ted Bundy | |
| Terrorists: |
Al Qaeda • Anders Behring Breivik • Anderson Lee Aldrich • Anton Lundin Pettersson • Dzhokhar Tsarnaev • Elliot Rodger • George Sodini • Maniacs Murder Cult • Mark Essex • Nidal Malik Hasan • Osama bin Laden • Tamerlan Tsarnaev • Ted Kaczynski | |
| See also: |
Antisocial personality disorder • Jews • Murder • Paranoid personality disorder • Pittsburgh Paint Job • Police Brutality • Sick fuck |