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Sagamihara Stabbings
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This person has ADHD. consider yourself warned for the uncontrollable and inhumane levels of retardation ahead. |
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STEP THE FUCK OFF! Sagamihara Stabbings looks like shit but it is NOT a {{crapstub}}. It is a work in progress! If you require assistance beefing up this article, then hit up the experts on our IRC.
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| Satoshi Uematsu | |
| Born | January 20, 1990 (34 years old) |
| Nationality: | Nihonjin 
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| Occupation | Philanthropist |
| Highscore | Killed 19, injured 26 |
| Top 50? | 10th (Japan: 2nd!!!) |
| Style | Hack'N'Slash |
| An Hero? | No (turned himself in) |
Just 3 days after the epic David Sonboly's kebab removing amoklauf that killed 9 Turkroaches, Japan BTFO Deutschland by scoring more than twice as many frags in their own attempt at the high score—all while using just a knife. This impressive score for a knife-only round was pulled off by Satoshi Uematsu卐 (Japanese: 国民的英雄), a 34-year-old professional eugenicist and former nurse at the Tsukui Yamayuri En care home (the location of the attack). Satoshi admitted that he wished to purify the genepool by removing Retards and the Disabled, as well as 
to prevent World War III lol.
The massacre shocked Japan but was forgotten by the rest of the world after 1 week as rampage killings are a daily occurrence now.
Graded Score
| Kill count: | 19/20 Almost there! |
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| Accuracy: | 8/20 Killed 19, injured 26. Not bad considering the weapon. |
| Style: | 18/20 Murdered retards in their sleep. |
| Butthurt: | 20/20 Feels no remorse, many lulz. |
| Bonus: | 20/20 Doing God's work. |
Wanted Level:
___________________
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___________________
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Round 2
A few months after this attack, a Chinese man named Yang Qingpei proceeded to carry out a stabbing rampage. He scored 19 frags like Satoshi did, but left no survivors in the process. He killed Mom and Dad over some bullshit argument, yet had the great idea that he needed to kill 17 other people in order to cover up his crime. He was playing Hitman IRL and was too much of a clutz to use proper stealth, giving him the ranking of Mass Murderer. He will not be unlocking a silenced M4A41-s for this.
See Also
- Japan
- Mamoru Takuma
- Murder
- Retards
- David Sonboly - BTFO on July 2016's monthly high score.
External Links
- Wikipedia's Article
- 19 dead, 25 injured after knife attack in Japan; 26-year-old ex-employee charged with murder
- He feels no remorse
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Sagamihara Stabbings is part of a series on 日本国
Typical Japanese Culture. 日本の人文 2chan • Anime • Animu Archetypes • Big Daikon • Dating sim • Gaiden • Herbivore Men • Japanese Bug Fights • Manga • Shimajiro
Typical Japanese Porn. 日本の猥本 |
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Sagamihara Stabbings is related to a series on AZNS. | [Herrow] |
