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Klaus Barbie

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Nikolaus "Klaus" Barbie (25 October 1913 – 23 September 1991) was a prestigious SS officer who was known for his elite Gestapo tactics. He-- to this date-- is seen as a war hero in Germany, having killed countless numbers of French Jews for the betterment of society, earning him the nickname "The Butcher of Lyon."

The United States knew how badass Barbie was and admired his Jew killing skills, so the CIA hired him to go to South America and help them blitzkrieg the dirty banana monkey communists out of the continent. He went on to do elite Nazi things like stage a coup in Bolivia where-- unfortunately-- Jews were scarce, so he had to settle for Communists.

Much to Klaus' demise, the Evil Zionist-loving United States ironically back-stabbed him like the dirty Jews he slaughtered. They sent him back to France where he was indicted for "War Crimes Against Humanity." Failing to recognize the awesomeness of his endeavors to kill Jews, the fucking kikes convicted him of several counts of some fabricated Semite bullshit, and he died in prison as a beautiful martyr for the Aryan Nation and white people for the rest of time. His last words were: "Those fuckers Jew'd me. Heil Hitler!"

In loving memory of 'The Butcher'

 

In commemoration of Hauptsturmführer Klaus Barbie, Barbie, a fashion doll, was created by Matell in March 1959. The Barbie dolls were all glorious white Aryan toys with which young white girls could play and learn to hate Jews.

For almost half a century, Barbie dolls were mass produced for pure-blood white girls until the evil minorities started to take offense to the fact that all Barbies were white at the dawn of the 21st century. Now, Nigger Barbies, Spic Barbies, and other ambiguously raced Barbies can unfortunately be seen on store shelves. Amazingly, even a Jewish Barbie was attempted, however, due to the fact that 95 percent of the world hates Jews, every single doll of this Jewish doll line were appropriately shipped to the toy factory where they were all gassed and melted into glue.

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Klaus Barbie

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The History of The Lulz

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In Chronological Order


399BC: First recorded troll-banning
0AD: Knock knock! Who's there? It's Jesus, LOL
571: Birth of Muhahahahahammed
600: Blood orgies
1077: Invention of the meme archive
1100: DEUS VULT!
1337: Start of the Hundred Years War
1492: The Americas are culturally enriched
1573: Tycho doesn't invent the funny webcomic
1605: Guy Fawkes invents terrorism.
1789: The beret is mightier than the crown
1801: Invention of the Triforce
1850: World's first OH EXPLOITABLE image
1865: End of the Nigger Market
1877: Trolling world record broken
1888: First successful mixing of hookers and lulz
1914: World War 1
1927: Teh f1rst sk00l sh00ting
1939: World War 2
1944: The Lollercaust doesn't happen
1945: "Nag? Naga? Well... it's nagonna be there tomorrow that's fore sure." - Harry S Truman
1948: Best Korea is founded (along with Good Korea)
1955: America gets BTFO
1960: Awesomeness of swords discovered
1963: CIA did JFK
1987: First televised An Hero
1993: World Wide Web becomes available, Waco
1999: Counter Strike played IRL
2000: End of teh world due to computer errors.
2001: Bush, Saudis, and Jews do WTC
2004: ED founded
2005: Katrina and 7/7
2007: Cho Seung-Hui becomes the King of School Shooters
2011: Utoya Island Swimming School is opened
2013: ISIS founded
2014: Beta Uprising begins
2015: Paris Attacks
2016: Donald Trump is elected president of the United States. (For the lulz.)
2017: Country music is back
2019: First livestreamed kebab removal
2024: Healthcare rage done right

Klaus Barbie is part of a series on National Socialists
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SchutzstaffelIdeologie, Tradition, Praxis, und StolzMöchtegern-NazisFeinde, Verräter, und verboten

 

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