Boston Marathon Bombing

Typical gameplay screenshot

Ultra gore!!!

The handsome terrorist Dzhokhar (pronounced Jokar ) Tsarnaev.

The 2013 Boston Bomb-A-Thon was a tactical first-person sporting event in which a team of terrorists competed against a team of counter-terrorists in a series of rounds. The event was a blast; at least 183 people were blown away.

While marathon running never used to be popular, it recently exploded into the mainstream, due to the enhanced gameplay brought about by the introduction of new obstacles near the finish line and the addition of extra tactical teams.

Gameplay

The wallhack/radar used by the Massachusetts State Police to cheat in Round 3

Players can either join the terrorists, counter-terrorists, or spectators. The spectators don't spawn with any weapons, but can still get their legs blown off, which is kinda gay.

The counter-terrorist team begins by running a two-legged race wearing spandex while dodging the numerous obstacles thrown in their path. Failing to avoid these obstacles can result in loss of at least 100 health points and having to complete the race on only one leg, effectively converting it to a game of hopsctoch.

Three players on the spectator team lost over 9000 health points, causing them to have to re-spawn.

Cheating

It is widely suspected that the counter-terrorist team used a wallhack to locate the last remaining opponent masturbating in a boat in some guy's front yard. Additionally, they have admitted to botting in order to diffuse the remaining unexploded IED's. Cheating n00bs.

Competitors

Terrorist Team

The two commies considered by the party van as the culprits. Curly haired, big-nosed jews.

One player with the dark baseball cap been dispatched by the FBI in a gun battle. The player with the white baseball cap is now making wedding plans with Bubba.

During the first few days, the commies weren't identified, because the police are too fucking retarded to figure out something so easy. As it turns out, the two players on the terrorist team are Muslims. Suprise! One commie was apparently seen taking a dangerous thing out of his backpack and put it where the second pressure cooker of the gods exploded. One of them was some 17 year old runner. Surprisingly, these two culprits weren't sand niggers, or even North Korean gooks.

The actual culprits were Dzhokhar Tsarnaev and Tamerlan Tsarnaev, two Chechen natives who were deeply involved in Islam. The tweet below is from Dzhokhar Tsarnaev's  Twitter.

Dzhokhar is six stars wanted.

<a href="https://twitter.com/J_tsar/status/291423943418597376"></a>

Awkwarrrd.

Counter-Terrorist Team

Loads of people got their legs blown off and shit, it was awesome. Some argued however, that in order to race, everyone needs legs. Fascists. So instead they ended the marathon and wasted their energies investigating the crime. Switching maps in the middle of a match is widely regarded as a form of admin abuse.

In later rounds, some guy at MIT got headshotted near a 7-11, and some chick in an SUV got GTA'd. A car chase ensued resulting in one of the terrorists getting fragged while the other easily got away from the dozens of pursuing police officers.

Final Score

The terrorist team epicly pwned the counter-terrorists by a final score of 4 frags to 1, over the course of 3 maps.

Score by map

Boston (Terrorists: 3, Counter-Terrorists: 0)

MIT (Terrorists: 1, Counter-Terrorists: 0)

Watertown (Terrorists: 0, Counter-Terrorists: 1)

Rank and Situation

Rank

After James Holmes killed those couch potatoes at that movie theater, some glamfags made a fire happen with over 200 people killed, Adam Lanza, an aspie, pwnt several key-you-tea-looking children and beated off the living fuck out of teh country, and other successful hardships made by an hero, this explosion's rank killed 3 people, including some 8 year old boy, and some adults but severely hurt at least 183 people who are bleeding their asses off. The culprit earns a B-. The party vans came with the FBI cumming out and called it a terrorist attack because they were secretly busy beating off to the video of 9/11 which got this in their fuckin' mind.

Situation

Once some gay marathon mostly consisting of retards in green and some gingers, once they all were up to the finish line, two twin bombs exploded recently after the gooks from North Korea threatened to bomb Americunt and become the new sand niggers. It seems now possibly several gingers (who all infest Boston) are either injured or hiding (in the closet) which is why the person who did this was brave to sacrifice his life by reducing the spread of ginger vitus in Boston. Now we can keep our souls!!! Unfortunately there was still more gingers haunting the world with their soulless magic! We will now do another thing to team up and protect the world from them as well as the beaners who caused the swine flu.

Plot

• A crowd fills with gingers, retards, Britfags, victims and others.
• The marchers cum in (wit their cum).
• A long time of watching a boring ass show of a bunch of asspies marching until they cross the finish line.
• Some one fucked shit up. We don't know who but we do know that they did a terrible job at it as only 3 people died.
• Newsflash with butthurt reactions.
• Osama Bin Laden watches the news and gets pissed with those Korean gooks for copying him and his sand nigger prison punks.
• North Koreans could be the new sand niggers.

Videos

DA HARLEM SHAKE OMG PRAY FOR BOSTON Previous Video | Next Video

Trolling people who were shocked by the scene

• Tell them it was a funny situation.
• Do a Harlem Shake on it like what they did here.
• Say that it was a conspiracy by Barack Obama.
• Say that it was an act by God to penalize Boston for same-sex marriage.
• Blame it on the Muslims cause they're Muslims.
• Start a forum making jokes of the event.
• Make Image Macros about it and post them on a Facebook Page.
• Blame it on any Korean gook walking by.
• Impersonate the two culprits online like this  Jodi_arias account on Twitter which successfully made many angst-ridden teens, dumbfucked adults and everyon inbetween extremely butthurt.
• Say that you did it.
• Blame it on the kikes.
• Just to make the FBI get their shit stirred, google "how to make bomb explosions" or something like that. (WARNING: THE FBI IS WATCHING YOU!!!!!!)
• Show them this ED article.
• Tell people that the event was da bomb. Remind them that everybody had a blast and that the crowd really exploded at the finish line. It really blew them away.
• Point out that Anders Breivik was right about the muslims.

Gallery

Boston Marathon 2013 About missing Pics

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  Kikes did everything
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  Christfags speak
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  Spongebob is involved.
• 
  Someone having sex with a victim's corpse.
• 
  Please fuck the corpse, just to be safe from getting AIDS.
• 
  We all know who was responsible for this.
• 
  A tasteful tribute from the ponyfuckers.
• 
  I'm a sailor peg and I lost my leg.
• 
  Shocking evidence the man doesn't want you to see.
• 

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

• 
• 
• 
  New pictures emerge of a possible suspect.
• 
• 
• 
• 
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  The Sonic fans make their own tribute
• 
  Outta my way, Boston fucking shits!
• 
  Jews did Boston
• 
• 
• 
  How could this not even be who the real culprit is?!
• 
  Tamerlan, looks a lot like an eye-tie, also got shot by the party van.
• 
  God dayum mah beetchez dat kid looks br00t4l. Take this to the death metal gig.

See Also

• Sandy Hook
• Colorado Theatre Shooting
• 9/11
• Terrorism
• North Korea
• Osama Bin Laden
• Boston

External Links

• RaZMmoe
• muazseyfullah
•  J_tsar

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Featured article April 19 & 20, 2013
Preceded by Mark Wahlberg	Boston Marathon Bombing	Succeeded by ScrewAttack