MAGABomber

This is what libtards actually believe.

MAGABomber (not to be confused with the Unabrowmer) is the unofficial pseudonym that has been given to an unknown individual or group of individuals who, starting in late October of 2018, began attempting to assassinate prominent members of an obscure, quickly dying American political party known as the Democrats by duct taping a bunch of wires and plastic crap onto pieces of pipe and then hoping that all of their intended targets end up dying of heart attacks upon seeing the devices – a truly ingenious plan, considering that all Democrats are older than slavery and have a tendency to completely freak out over the absolute dumbest shit imaginable. They were quickly outed as frauds, because if they really had the guts to kill Leftards, they would have ventilated their corpses many times over, and then some.

MAGABomber's Reign of Error

Cesar Sayoc... or is it?

On October 22, 2018, the first "bomb" was received by Sith Lord George Soros. This was quickly followed up by moar "bombs" that were sent to former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and her wife; former God-Emperor of Black People, Barack Hussein Obama and his husband; former Mexican gun-runner, Eric Holder; batshit insane old person, Maxine Waters; former Vice President and notorious Lolicon, Joe Biden; former CIA Director turned traitor to the United States, John Brennan; unfunny ginger prop comic, Debbie Wasserman Schultz; washed up Hollywood actor, Robert De Niro; science fiction television network, CNN; bisexual rapist, Cory Booker; ex-intel chief James Claptrap; and Californian retard, Kamala Harris.

On October 26, 2018, the FBI arrested a cis-gender, heterosexual, Trump-supporting, "white" man from Florida named Cesar Altieri Sayoc and claimed that he had somehow magickally teleported fake bombs halfway across the country over the course of a mere 4 days. Despite the fact that Sayoc is an obvious patsy and literally dindu nuffin, the media was more than willing to immediately accept his guilt without question because fuck Drumpf.

Despite being christened as "The MAGABomber" by die lügenpresse and a bunch of liberal retards on Twitter, the name is a clear misnomer when you realize that the MAGABomber is neither an actual bomber nor is there a single shred of evidence that he/she/xe actually supports Making America Great Again. In reality, it is far more likely that the so-called MAGABomber is a liberal false flag operation designed to influence the 2018 mid-term elections.

The /pol/ Man's James Bond

In addition to his arsenal of superweapons, Sayoc appears to have been a master of disguise who could become bald or hirsute at will, and was capable of bulking up and shrinking like a jack-in-the-box.

The /pol/ Man's James Bond About missing Pics

• 
• 
• 
• 

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
  Liberals reacted to the incident by proving yet again that they can't meme.

A little Look Into Sayoc's Psyche

Cesar Sayoc's early days (pt1)

Sayoc, the early days (pt2)

	“	Career decision of becoming a Horse Doctor was always a love for animals, which were here first and never do anything to anyone. And respect all living things. My family very sound Sayoc name in Medical field Grandfather Col. Baltazar Zook Sayoc that perfect the conversion oriental eye to Americanize.	„
	—What....

	“	The first plastic surgeon to be observed by 8 million people in NY city Hospital. He over through Communist Philippines liberated island. He built all hospitals in Philippines islands and sets standards highest level. Most surgeon use his instruments which are patented. And a lot surgeon use today.	„
	—The.....

	“	Also Sayoc intl. schools marshals arts Kali that used to over throw communist party. Also one 5 Hero’s disciplinary my mother Madeline Sayoc Giardiello First president Pharmacy Cosmetic Association, Who Who Business Women of Year, Soul buyer consultant for Home Shopping Network, head number 1 marketing consul in World Aventura Marketing consul, up for city counsel women Aventura	„
	—Fuck....? (from the education section of Sayoc's LinkIn)

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count:	0/20 Fake bombs don't kill people, Hillary Clinton does
Accuracy:	0/20 None of the so-called bombs even worked
Style:	0/20 Believed that Larry the Cable Guy is actually funny
Butthurt:	0/20 The liberal butthurt caused itself
Bonus:	0/20 Try to actually kill some people next time, faggot
Total Score: 0/100 (F-)

GIT R DONE See full ranking

Wanted Level:

The New World Order

External Links

Sayoc's carefully-camouflaged stealth van

• Co-worker: Cesar Sayoc was "very, very strange" (Archived: 1 2)
• “Sayoc” (verb): to fail so spectacularly people don’t trust that you’re actually trying to do what you’re doing
  (Archived: 1 2)
• "Sayoc appeared to live full time in the van, perhaps explaining his ready access to urine" (Archived: 1 2)

See Also

• Ahmed Mohamed
• ATHF Terrorist Attack
• Piedmont Park Hanging
• Larry the Cable Guy
• Unabomber
• WalkAway

MAGABomber is part of a series on Donald Trump. You're gonna love this article, believe me.

	MAGABomber is part of a series on [GAME OVERInsert Coin]
	Single Player Elite Hall of Fame Adam Lanza • Anders Behring Breivik • Andrew Kehoe • Ariana Grande Massacre • Baruch Goldstein • Brenton Tarrant • Campo Elías Delgado • Cho Seung-Hui • Devin Patrick Kelley • Dong Yangling • Gabriel Wortman • Jack Gilbert Graham • Jakrapanth Thomma • James Huberty • Luby's massacre • Martin Bryant • Mutsuo Toi • Nice Truck Attack 2016 • Omar Mateen • Panya Khamrab • Patrick Crusius • Reina Nightclub Massacre • Salvador Ramos • Shinji Aoba • Stephen Paddock • Ted Bundy • Vladislav Roslyakov • William Unek • Woo Bum-kon Single Player Amateur Division Aaron Alexis • Alexandre Bissonnette • Akbarzhon Jalivov • Ali David Sonboly • Anderson Lee Aldrich • Andrea Pignani • Anton Lundin Pettersson • Artyom Kazantsev • Audrey Hale • Brandon Scott Hole • Breda Highschool Massacre • Breitscheidplatz • Brenda Ann Spencer • Bruce Jeffrey Pardo • Capital Gazette Shooting • Charles Whitman's Tumor • Chris Harper-Mercer • Connor Betts • Dallas Police Shootings • Darrell Brooks • David Katz • David Kozák • David Malcolm Gray • Death to Traitors, Freedom for Britain • Derrick Bird • DeWayne Craddock • Dimitrios Pagourtzis • Dimitrious Gargasoulas • Dmitry Vinogradov • Dylann Storm Roof • Elliot Rodger • Éric Borel • Euler Fernando Grandolpho • Flemming Nielsen • Fort Hood • Gabe Parker • George Sodini • Gian Luigi Ferri • Ian David Long • Ilnaz Galyaviev • Jake Davison • James Alex Fields • James Holmes • Jared Lee Loughner • Jason Dalton • Jason Rodriguez • Jaylen Fryberg • Jeffrey Dahmer • Jeff Weise • Jesse Osborne • Jiverly Voong • Joe Stack • John Russell Houser • John Wilkes Booth • Jonathan Sapirman • Josef Fritzl • Khalid Masood • Kimveer Gill • Kip Kinkel • Kongsberg Bow and Arrow Rampage • Lam Kor Wan • Mamoru Takuma • Marc Lépine • Mark Barton • Mark Essex • Martin Peyerl • Matthew de Grood • Michael Carneal • Michael Kenneth McLendon • Michael Ryan • Mikese Morse • Mr. Saari • Nathan Gale • Nghtmrchld26 • Nikolas Cruz • Noah Esbensen • Orlando Harris • Otoya Yamaguchi • Patrick Purdy • Payton Gendron • Pekka-Eric Auvinen • Petri Gerdt • Ramadan Van Man • Randy Robert Stair • Richard Speck • Robert Bales • Robert Bowers • Robert Card • Robert Crimo • Robert Hawkins • Robert Long • Robert Steinhäuser • Ruslan Akhtyamov • Ryan Palmeter • Santino William Legan • Satoshi Uematsu • Sayfullo Saipov • Stephen Kazmierczak • The Twinkie Man • Thomas Matthew Crooks • Thomas Watt Hamilton • Tim Kretschmer • Timothy Hendron • Timur Bekmansurov • TJ Lane • Tobias Rathjen • Trystan Andrew Terrell • Tyler Peterson • Unabomber • Wade Michael Page • Walter Seifert • Wellington Menezes de Oliveira • Zhao Zewei • Zug Massacre Multiplayer Co-Op Mode 1-14 Jakarta Attacks • Academy Maniacs • Boston Marathon Bombing • Charlie Hebdo • Columbine • Crocus City Hall Massacre • Hiroshima and Nagasaki • ISIS Paris Attack 13-11 • Jews did WTC • London Bridge Attack 2017 • Medianeira School Shooting • Pearl Harbor • San Bernardino Shooting • Sri Lanka 2019 Terrorist Attacks • Suzano School Shooting • Timothy McVeigh • Zhaodong Massacre Civilization and Great Prophets Adolf Hitler • Augusto Pinochet • Aum Shinrikyo • Charles Manson • Heaven's Gate • Holocaust • Jonestown • Joseph Stalin • Kim Il-sung • Mao Zedong • Osama bin Laden • Pol Pot • Saddam Hussein • Waco • World War II Banned From Scoring Alex Hribal • Anthony Warner • Anton Bichivin • Asa Coon • Ben Moynihan • Billy Mitchell • Brandon Clegg • Brian Isaack Clyde • Charles Bishop • Clay Duke • Dillon Cossey • Faisal Shahzad • Frank James • Hayden Jagst • Hugo Jackson • Ilya Ivanistov • John Earnest • Kyle Rittenhouse • Laaiti Ekenstéen • Lindsay Kantha Souvannarath • Logan Clark • MAGABomber • Mikhail Pivnev • Nasim Aghdam • Nicky Reilly • Philip Manshaus • Richard Reid • Ryan Routh • Sam Hyde • Sebastian Bosse • Sol Pais • Stephan Balliet • Todd Rogers • Willem Van Spronsen • William Atchison • You