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Boston Marathon Bombing: Difference between revisions

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[[File:Djohar-tsarnaevs.jpg|thumb|right|The handsome terrorist Dzhokhar (pronounced [[Joker|Jokar]] ) Tsarnaev.]]
[[File:Djohar-tsarnaevs.jpg|thumb|right|The handsome terrorist Dzhokhar (pronounced [[Joker|Jokar]] ) Tsarnaev.]]


The '''2013 Boston Bomb-A-Thon''' was a blast. [[at least 100|At least 183 people]] were blown away by the event. Marathon running never used to be so popular, but it recently exploded into the mainstream, due in part to the introduction of extra obstacles near the finish  line.
The '''2013 Boston Bomb-A-Thon''' was a tactical first-person sporting event in which a team of [[Muslims|terrorists]] competed against a team of [[Jews|counter-terrorists]] in a series of rounds. The event was a blast; [[at least 100|at least 183 people]] were blown away.  


Loads of people got their legs blown off and shit, it was [[lulz|awesome]]. [[Some argue]]d however, that in order to race, everyone needs legs. Fascists. So instead they ended the marathon and wasted their energies investigating the crime. We say the investigation was a waste because like all terrorist attacks, the perpetrators were Muslim. They could have just gone to the closest mosque, knocked on the door and they would have found their suspect.  
While marathon running never used to be popular, it recently [[lulz|exploded]] into the mainstream, due to the enhanced gameplay brought about by the introduction of new obstacles near the finish line and the addition of extra [[Communists|tactical teams]].


==Culprits==
==Gameplay==
[[File:GUILTY BOSTON.jpg|thumb|The two suspects considered by the [[party van]] as the culprits. Curly haired, big-nosed [[jews]].]]
The counter-terrorist team begins by running a two-legged race [[homosexual|wearing spandex]] while dodging the numerous obstacles thrown in their path. Failing to avoid these obstacles can result in loss of [[at least 100]] health points and having to complete the race on only one leg, effectively converting it to a game of [[faggotry|hopsctoch]].  


[[File:The Two Culprits.png|thumb|One [[goodnight sweet prince|suspect]] with the dark baseball cap been [[kill|dispatched]] by the [[FBI]] in a gun battle. The [[wigger|suspect]] with the white baseball cap is now making wedding plans with [[Bubba]].]]
Three players on the spectator team lost [[over 9000]] health points, causing them to have to re-spawn.


During the first few days, the culprits weren't identified, because the [[police]] are too fucking [[retarded]] to figure out something so [[impossible|easy]]. As it turns out, the two perpetrators are Muslims. Suprise! One suspect was apparently seen taking a dangerous thing out of his backpack and put it where the second bomb exploded. One of them was some 17 year old runner. Surprisingly, these two culprits weren't [[sand nigger]]s, or even [[North Korea]]n [[gook]]s.
===Cheating===
It is widely suspected that the counter-terrorist team used a [[n00bs|wallhack]] to locate the last remaining opponent [[faggotry|masturbating]] in a boat in some guy's front yard. Additionally, they have admitted to [[hax|botting]] in order to diffuse the remaining unexploded IED's. Cheating n00bs.


The actual culprits were Dzhokhar Tsarnaev and Tamerlan Tsarnaev, two [[muslim|Chechen]] natives who were deeply involved in Islam. The tweet below is from Dzhokhar Tsarnaev's {{twitter|J_tsar|Twitter}}.
==Competitors==
 
===Terrorist Team===
[[File:GUILTY BOSTON.jpg|thumb|The two commies considered by the [[party van]] as the culprits. Curly haired, big-nosed [[jews]].]]
 
[[File:The Two Culprits.png|thumb|One [[goodnight sweet prince|player]] with the dark baseball cap been [[kill|dispatched]] by the [[FBI]] in a gun battle. The [[wigger|player]] with the white baseball cap is now making wedding plans with [[Bubba]].]]
 
During the first few days, the commies weren't identified, because the [[police]] are too fucking [[retarded]] to figure out something so [[impossible|easy]]. As it turns out, the two players on the terrorist team are Muslims. Suprise! One commie was apparently seen taking a dangerous thing out of his backpack and put it where the second [[bomb|pressure cooker of the gods]] exploded. One of them was some 17 year old runner. Surprisingly, these two culprits weren't [[sand nigger]]s, or even [[North Korea]]n [[gook]]s.
 
The actual culprits were Dzhokhar Tsarnaev and Tamerlan Tsarnaev, two [[muslim|Chechen]] natives who were deeply involved in [[buttsex|Islam]]. The tweet below is from Dzhokhar Tsarnaev's {{twitter|J_tsar|Twitter}}.
[[File:Dzhokhar-tsarnaev-six-stars.png|thumb|Dzhokhar is six stars wanted.]]
[[File:Dzhokhar-tsarnaev-six-stars.png|thumb|Dzhokhar is six stars wanted.]]
{{embedded tweet|https://twitter.com/J_tsar/status/291423943418597376}}
{{embedded tweet|https://twitter.com/J_tsar/status/291423943418597376}}
Awkwarrrd.
Awkwarrrd.


===Incorrect suspects===
===Counter-Terrorist Team===
[[Image:Sand nigger boston.jpg|thumb|right|Show him your picture of Prophet Muhammad, just [[for the lulz|to protect yourself]].]]
Loads of people got their legs blown off and shit, it was [[lulz|awesome]]. [[Some argue]]d however, that in order to race, everyone needs legs. Fascists. So instead they ended the marathon and wasted their energies investigating the crime. Switching maps in the middle of a match is widely regarded as a form of admin abuse.
The first suspect was some [[sand nigger]] from [[Saudi Arabia]] who for some reason for arrested but was found '''not''' guilty and was found as a [[victim]], although for some reason, although it's like all [[sand nigger]]s, he was some guy in white and a robe and he had a golden "[[piss]]tol" in his hand. With a look like that, it was easy to know he would suspected like all [[sand nigger]]s who get [[butthurt]] when you draw [[Prophet Muhammad]] [[for the lulz]].
 
In later rounds, some guy at [[MIT]] got [[headshot|headshotted]] near a [[munchies|7-11]], and some chick in an SUV got [[Grand Theft Auto|GTA'd]]. A car chase ensued resulting in one of the terrorists getting [[dead|fragged]] while the other easily got away from the dozens of pursuing police officers.
 
==Final Score==


The second suspect was just some [[wigger]] with a baseball cap, gray hoodie and a black jacket, who was <s>on the phone</s> sexting a little boy during the explosion.
The terrorist team epicly [[pwned]] the counter-terrorists by a final score of 4 frags to 1, over the course of 3 maps.


===Tamerlan's YouTube===
===Score by map===
{{ytuser|muazseyfullah}}
Boston (Terrorists: 3, Counter-Terrorists: 0)


Tamerlan had favorited videos about [[Al Qaeda]] and [[terrorism]] in his playlists and videos, apparently now people are posting 24/7 on the channel full of [[butthurt]] rage comments and are pretending to sympathize the [[Shit no one cares about|the victims]] to gain [[attention|respect]] like a bunch of cowards.
MIT (Terrorists: 1, Counter-Terrorists: 0)
<Center>{{morphquote|CC2|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|You vile bastard. Fuck allah Fuck your paedophile "prophet" muhammad (pig shit be upon him) and Fuck you. (RIP) Rest In Pigshit|Typical comment
|glad you're dead. piece of shit.|Patman Productions
|you fucking piece of shit, burn in hell with your fucking 40 virgins! Your little bro is next bitch!|David Shamolian
|[[For the lulz|He did it for teh Lulz]]|and succeeded
|Pull his guts out and fill him with pig entrails before the burial.|BR00T4L [[deathcore]] kid
|I hope satan is ass fucking both you and your twat brother you coward cunts!|Brett Maternowiski
|Tamerlan has left the building, currently having a one to one with the devil. Where is his little bitch brother ?, hope he gets found and detained by someone's who want to fuck him up slowly and big time. How about a nice slow death for him. Say 12 hours and put a mirror in front of him so he can enjoy his last day on earth. Scum from the Slum|MOAR BROOTAL
|THE FBI IS PROBZ [[Stalking|READIN]] OUR COMMENTZ HATIN ON MUSLIMFAGZ. LOLOLOL|Truth
}}</center>


===People suspected===
Watertown (Terrorists: 0, Counter-Terrorists: 1)
* Another [[sand nigger]]
* Some Korean [[gook]] who decided that [[Americunt]] had it coming.
* [[Black Jesus]] (our president) doing another conspiracy
* [[Osama Bin Laden|Our hide-and-seek champion from 2001-2011 rising from the dead]]
* Just a new leader from [[Al Qaeda]]
* Some [[kike]]
* [[Vietnam fucking shits]]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSVJ6MVUF4A Family Guy]
* [[God hates fags|Westboro Baptist Church]]
* [[Bomberman_(Game)|Bomberman]]
* [[Bombermanfan]]
* [[Jews]]


==Rank and Situation==
==Rank and Situation==

Revision as of 21:03, 20 April 2013

This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT JEWS DID BOSTON!!!1
Tamerlan Tsarnev
The handsome terrorist Dzhokhar (pronounced Jokar ) Tsarnaev.

The 2013 Boston Bomb-A-Thon was a tactical first-person sporting event in which a team of terrorists competed against a team of counter-terrorists in a series of rounds. The event was a blast; at least 183 people were blown away.

While marathon running never used to be popular, it recently exploded into the mainstream, due to the enhanced gameplay brought about by the introduction of new obstacles near the finish line and the addition of extra tactical teams.

Gameplay

The counter-terrorist team begins by running a two-legged race wearing spandex while dodging the numerous obstacles thrown in their path. Failing to avoid these obstacles can result in loss of at least 100 health points and having to complete the race on only one leg, effectively converting it to a game of hopsctoch.

Three players on the spectator team lost over 9000 health points, causing them to have to re-spawn.

Cheating

It is widely suspected that the counter-terrorist team used a wallhack to locate the last remaining opponent masturbating in a boat in some guy's front yard. Additionally, they have admitted to botting in order to diffuse the remaining unexploded IED's. Cheating n00bs.

Competitors

Terrorist Team

The two commies considered by the party van as the culprits. Curly haired, big-nosed jews.
One player with the dark baseball cap been dispatched by the FBI in a gun battle. The player with the white baseball cap is now making wedding plans with Bubba.

During the first few days, the commies weren't identified, because the police are too fucking retarded to figure out something so easy. As it turns out, the two players on the terrorist team are Muslims. Suprise! One commie was apparently seen taking a dangerous thing out of his backpack and put it where the second pressure cooker of the gods exploded. One of them was some 17 year old runner. Surprisingly, these two culprits weren't sand niggers, or even North Korean gooks.

The actual culprits were Dzhokhar Tsarnaev and Tamerlan Tsarnaev, two Chechen natives who were deeply involved in Islam. The tweet below is from Dzhokhar Tsarnaev's  Twitter.

Dzhokhar is six stars wanted.

Awkwarrrd.

Counter-Terrorist Team

Loads of people got their legs blown off and shit, it was awesome. Some argued however, that in order to race, everyone needs legs. Fascists. So instead they ended the marathon and wasted their energies investigating the crime. Switching maps in the middle of a match is widely regarded as a form of admin abuse.

In later rounds, some guy at MIT got headshotted near a 7-11, and some chick in an SUV got GTA'd. A car chase ensued resulting in one of the terrorists getting fragged while the other easily got away from the dozens of pursuing police officers.

Final Score

The terrorist team epicly pwned the counter-terrorists by a final score of 4 frags to 1, over the course of 3 maps.

Score by map

Boston (Terrorists: 3, Counter-Terrorists: 0)

MIT (Terrorists: 1, Counter-Terrorists: 0)

Watertown (Terrorists: 0, Counter-Terrorists: 1)

Rank and Situation

Rank

After James Holmes killed those couch potatoes at that movie theater, some glamfags made a fire happen with over 200 people killed, Adam Lanza, an aspie, pwnt several key-you-tea-looking children and beated off the living fuck out of teh country, and other successful hardships made by an hero, this explosion's rank killed 3 people, including some 8 year old boy, and some adults but severely hurt at least 183 people who are bleeding their asses off. The culprit earns a B-. The party vans came with the FBI cumming out and called it a terrorist attack because they were secretly busy beating off to the video of 9/11 which got this in their fuckin' mind.

Situation

Once some gay marathon mostly consisting of retards in green and some gingers, once they all were up to the finish line, two twin bombs exploded recently after the gooks from North Korea threatened to bomb Americunt and become the new sand niggers. It seems now possibly several gingers (who all infest Boston) are either injured or hiding (in the closet) which is why the person who did this was brave to sacrifice his life by reducing the spread of ginger vitus in Boston. Now we can keep our souls!!! Unfortunately there was still more gingers haunting the world with their soulless magic! We will now do another thing to team up and protect the world from them as well as the beaners who caused the swine flu.

Plot

  • A crowd fills with gingers, retards, Britfags, victims and others.
  • The marchers cum in (wit their cum).
  • A long time of watching a boring ass show of a bunch of asspies marching until they cross the finish line.
  • Some one fucked shit up. We don't know who but we do know that they did a terrible job at it as only 3 people died.
  • Newsflash with butthurt reactions.
  • Osama Bin Laden watches the news and gets pissed with those Korean gooks for copying him and his sand nigger prison punks.
  • North Koreans could be the new sand niggers.

Videos


DA HARLEM SHAKE


OMG PRAY FOR BOSTON

Previous Video | Next Video

Trolling people who were shocked by the scene

Gallery

Boston Marathon 2013 About missing Pics
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See Also

External Links

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See also: 2012 Elections • 2016 Presidential Elections • 2020 Presidential Elections • 2024 USA Presidential Elections • Internet Politics • PizzaGate • Political communities • Roe v. Wade

Featured article April 19 & 20, 2013
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