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Chris Dorner: Difference between revisions
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At the dawn of 2013, a former law-enforcement officer by the name of '''Chris Dorner''' rose like a [[cock|big black]] musclebound sleeping giant and declared war upon the corrupt [[cops|pigs]] that surrounded his [[fat|hefty]] body. Dorner had discovered over many years that his [[Jews|former organization]] had lifted him up on a bed of lies, with inherent institutionalized [[racism]] and favoritism seeping through it's corrupt corners, and thus decided to [[Fuck The Police|go all out madman vigilante on their asses]]. Not only did Dorner author a [[tl;dr|breathtaking]] [ | [[File:Christopher+Dorner.jpg|225px|thumb|right|[[Problem]] L.A.?]] | ||
[[File:Chris_Dorner_-_Due_Process.jpg|225px|thumb|right|*[[Fire|foom]]*]] | |||
At the dawn of 2013, a former law-enforcement officer by the name of '''Chris Dorner''' rose like a [[cock|big black]] musclebound sleeping giant and declared war upon the corrupt [[cops|pigs]] that surrounded his [[fat|hefty]] body. Dorner had discovered over many years that his [[Jews|former organization]] had lifted him up on a bed of lies, with inherent institutionalized [[racism]] and favoritism seeping through it's corrupt corners, and thus decided to [[Fuck The Police|go all out madman vigilante on their asses]]. Not only did Dorner author a [[tl;dr|breathtaking]] [https://hiphopandpolitics.wordpress.com/2013/02/07/uncensored-manifesto-from-retired-lapd-officer-christopher-dorner/ manifesto], but like [[Unabomber|many before him]] acted on his beliefs by unleashing them onto the [[NORPS|general populous]]. Dorner has claimed to purge the world from the evil that he sees surrounding him, and like a modern day [[Jesus]] with guns, he'll mow down every single last propagator and [[fag enabler|enabler]] that stands in his hulking way. | |||
== The Story == | == The Story == | ||
On the 31st of January, after getting [[In the ass|fired]] from his shit-tier job with the LAPD, Dorner posted his manifesto to [[Facebook]]. Soon after reading it, the [[moralfags]] on Dorner's friends list got [[butthurt]] and sent it to [[Old Media|CNN]], and the hit list was [[baleeted]]. Then nothing happened for 3 days after, because the LAPD [[nobody cares|didn't care]] and no one took him seriously. But suddenly, on February 3rd, Chocolate Rambo did what no [[nigger]] can resist doing - killing cops. ([[Irony|even though he used to be a fucking cop himself]]). | On the 31st of January, after getting [[In the ass|fired]] from his shit-tier job with the LAPD, Dorner posted his manifesto to [[Facebook]]. Soon after reading it, the [[moralfags]] on Dorner's friends list got [[butthurt]] and sent it to [[Old Media|CNN]], and the hit list was [[baleeted]]. Then nothing happened for 3 days after, because the LAPD [[nobody cares|didn't care]] and no one took him seriously. But suddenly, on February 3rd, Chocolate Rambo did what no [[nigger]] can resist doing - killing cops. ([[Irony|even though he used to be a fucking cop himself]]). | ||
This, however, was no ordinary [[KFC]] robbery or [[bike|bike theft]]. Instead, Dorner decided to [[Gun|pop a cap]] in the asses of Monica Quan, 28, a basketball coach and her fiancee Keith Lawrence. This was not done just because Dorner, being a [[nigger | This, however, was no ordinary [[KFC]] robbery or [[bike|bike theft]]. Instead, Dorner decided to [[Gun|pop a cap]] in the asses of Monica Quan, 28, a basketball coach and her fiancee Keith Lawrence. This was not done just because Dorner, being a [[nigger]], knew basketball well enough to know a woman coaching basketball wasn't [[doing it wrong|doing it right]]. The [[bitch]] [[pwnt|was a police captain's daughter]], increasing the [[butthurt]] level many times over. There are reports that after the murder, Dorner tried to escape to [[Mexico|spicland]]. | ||
But this wasn't enough for our [[sweet prince]]. At 1:30am [[Last Thursday]], he went Rambo-style on two officers, using his [[irony|LAPD training]]. Then, being the nigger he is, Dorner hid in the shadows [http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57568368/christopher-dorner-manhunt-two-innocent-women-shot-by-lapd-officers-had-no-warning/ while the cops went after him shot and injured random innocent bystanders, including women and children]. | But this wasn't enough for our [[sweet prince]]. At 1:30am [[Last Thursday]], he went Rambo-style on two officers, using his [[irony|LAPD training]]. Then, being the nigger he is, Dorner hid in the shadows [http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57568368/christopher-dorner-manhunt-two-innocent-women-shot-by-lapd-officers-had-no-warning/ while the cops went after him shot and injured random innocent bystanders, including women and children]. | ||
Pleased with his work, Dorner decided to [[Bel-Air|sit on his throne]] atop Big Bear mountain while the cops [[accidentally|accidentally the whole of L.A.]] When they [[slowpoke|finally]] traced him to the resort in the Sierra Nevada mountains, | Pleased with his work, Dorner decided to [[Bel-Air|sit on his throne]] atop Big Bear mountain while the cops [[accidentally|accidentally the whole of L.A.]] When they [[slowpoke|finally]] traced him to the resort in the Sierra Nevada mountains, a five day manhunt ensued. Meanwhile, the police [http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/feb/10/la-1m-reward-christopher-dorner-manhunt have offered a one million dollar reward] for the capture of our [[hero]] because they are too incompetent to track him down themselves. | ||
On Tuesday, February 12th, Dorner shot and killed 2 San Bernardino Country Sheriffs near Big Bear Lake, and subsequently sought refuge in a small cabin which was then surrounded by authorities. An epic battle commenced, in which [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvGo7vX8Hgs&feature=youtu.be a gunfight was shown live on National television]. A charred body, allegedly Dorner's, was found in the wreckage of the cabin after [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0X-WoiJhVY8 police tried to trick him by burning the cabin down]. Dorner's body was later found, charred and blacker than usual, with a [[an hero|self inflicted gunshot wound]]. [[goodnight sweet prince|RIP]] in peace chocolate Rambo. | |||
== The [[Chan]]ifesto == | == The [[Chan]]ifesto == | ||
[[File:Chris Dorner Manifesto.jpg|thumb|right|100px|The tl;dr itself.]] | [[File:Chris Dorner Manifesto.jpg|thumb|right|100px|The tl;dr itself.]] | ||
{{morphquote|ChrisQuotes|text-align:center;border:10px solid #cccccc;width:600px;height:330px; | |||
<center> | |||
{{morphquote|ChrisQuotes|text-align:center;border:10px solid #cccccc;width:600px;height:330px;border-radius:35px;background-color:eggwhite;padding-top:10px;padding-bottom:10px|font-weight:bold | |||
|"The violence of action will be high … I will bring unconventional and asymmetrical warfare to those in LAPD uniform whether on or off duty … you will now live the life of the prey."|[[Internet tough guy|Internet tough guy IRL]] | |"The violence of action will be high … I will bring unconventional and asymmetrical warfare to those in LAPD uniform whether on or off duty … you will now live the life of the prey."|[[Internet tough guy|Internet tough guy IRL]] | ||
|I never knew him not to be smiling. They're not looking for a stupid guy, here.|Contrary to popular belief, Dorner is not just any dumb nigger. | |I never knew him not to be smiling. They're not looking for a stupid guy, here.|Contrary to popular belief, Dorner is not just any dumb nigger. | ||
Line 32: | Line 37: | ||
|Ellen Degeneres, continue your excellent contribution to entertaining America and bringing the human factor to entertainment. You changed the perception of your gay community and how we as Americans view the LGBT community. I congratulate you on your success and opening my eyes as a young adult, and my generation to the fact that you are know different from us other than who you choose to love.|Dorner attempts to get [[gay|teh gays]] on his side. | |Ellen Degeneres, continue your excellent contribution to entertaining America and bringing the human factor to entertainment. You changed the perception of your gay community and how we as Americans view the LGBT community. I congratulate you on your success and opening my eyes as a young adult, and my generation to the fact that you are know different from us other than who you choose to love.|Dorner attempts to get [[gay|teh gays]] on his side. | ||
|Anonymous, you are hated, vilified, and considered an enemy to the state. I personally view you as a culture and a necessity that brings truth to a cloaked world. Forge ahead!|Dorner addresses his [[anonymous|loyal subjects]] and [[neckbeards|reminds them who they are]]. | |Anonymous, you are hated, vilified, and considered an enemy to the state. I personally view you as a culture and a necessity that brings truth to a cloaked world. Forge ahead!|Dorner addresses his [[anonymous|loyal subjects]] and [[neckbeards|reminds them who they are]]. | ||
|It's kind of sad I won't be around to view and enjoy The Hangover III. What an awesome trilogy. Todd Phillips, don't make anymore Hangovers after the third, takes away the originality of its foundation. World War Z looks good and The Walking Dead season 3 (second half) looked intriguing. Damn, gonna miss shark week.|A moment in silence for our [[/b/]]rother who missed shark week. | |It's kind of sad I won't be around to view and enjoy The Hangover III. What an awesome trilogy. Todd Phillips, don't make anymore Hangovers after the third, takes away the originality of its foundation. World War Z looks good and The Walking Dead season 3 (second half) looked intriguing. Damn, gonna miss shark week.|A moment in silence for our [[B|/b/]]rother who missed shark week. | ||
|No one grows up and wants to be a cop killer. It was against everything I've ever was. As a young police explorer I found my calling in life. But, As a young police officer I found that the violent suspects on the street are not the only people you have to watch.|Dorner comparing the cops to his fellow nigs. | |No one grows up and wants to be a cop killer. It was against everything I've ever was. As a young police explorer I found my calling in life. But, As a young police officer I found that the violent suspects on the street are not the only people you have to watch.|Dorner comparing the cops to his fellow nigs. | ||
|I lost my position as a Commanding Officer of a Naval Security Forces reserve unit at NAS Fallon because of the LAPD. I've lost a relationship with my mother and sister because of the LAPD. I've lost a relationship with close friends because of the LAPD. In essence, I've lost everything because the LAPD took my name and knew I was INNOCENT!!!|[[How do i shot web|How do I proved innocence?]] By [[delete fucking everything|killing fucking everything, of course!]] | |I lost my position as a Commanding Officer of a Naval Security Forces reserve unit at NAS Fallon because of the LAPD. I've lost a relationship with my mother and sister because of the LAPD. I've lost a relationship with close friends because of the LAPD. In essence, I've lost everything because the LAPD took my name and knew I was INNOCENT!!!|[[How do i shot web|How do I proved innocence?]] By [[delete fucking everything|killing fucking everything, of course!]] | ||
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|Wayne LaPierre, President of the NRA, you're a vile and inhumane piece of s***. You never even showed 30 seconds of empathy for the children, teachers, and families of Sandy Hook. You deflected any type of blame/responsibility and directed it toward the influence of movies and the media. You are a failure of a human being. May all of your immediate and distant family die horrific deaths in front of you.|Dorner [[irony|criticisng people for supporting gun use]] and [[asking for it|telling them what they deserve.]] | |Wayne LaPierre, President of the NRA, you're a vile and inhumane piece of s***. You never even showed 30 seconds of empathy for the children, teachers, and families of Sandy Hook. You deflected any type of blame/responsibility and directed it toward the influence of movies and the media. You are a failure of a human being. May all of your immediate and distant family die horrific deaths in front of you.|Dorner [[irony|criticisng people for supporting gun use]] and [[asking for it|telling them what they deserve.]] | ||
|}} | |}} | ||
</center> | |||
{{clear}} | |||
== The Black King of /b/ == | == The Black King of /b/ == | ||
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==Twitter== | ==Twitter== | ||
As Dorner's one man army battled on against the donut guzzling force of the LAPD, [[fat]] messy denizens of the internet everywhere took to their [[twitter]] accounts to show their great [[love]] and appreciation for Dorner's [[rage|bloodraged]] killing spree. Hashtags such as | As Dorner's one man army battled on against the donut guzzling force of the LAPD, [[fat]] messy denizens of the internet everywhere took to their [[twitter]] accounts to show their great [[love]] and appreciation for Dorner's [[rage|bloodraged]] killing spree. Hashtags such as {{hashtag|TEAMDORNER}}, {{hashtag|DornerDidNothingWrong}} and {{hashtag|DornerForPresident}} sprouted up all across twitter feeds over the world, instigated by forces such as {{Twitter|RustleLeague}}. People mashed their fingers into keyboards and phone screens, tweeting furiously as Chris and the LAPD played the [[Anne Frank|most dangerous game of hide and seek]] evar. The old media and polizia where not happy with all of this hardcore tweet action, and organisations such as [[CNN]] and the LAPD urged people to stop, which naturally [[no|worked completely and everyone did what they said.]] | ||
[[File:Team Dorner Tweets.png|center]] | [[File:Team Dorner Tweets.png|center]] | ||
==Graded Score== | |||
{{GradedScore|4| |19| |20|Assassinated various targets. Tactical Espionage Action.|18| |20|Survived his 6 star wanted level for more than 5 minutes.|81|B-|Thanks for slaughtering the [[Cops|piggies]].}} | |||
{{CustomWantedLevel|6|[[File:thank you hands.png|128px]]|Thank you for your service}} | |||
== Copypastas == | == Copypastas == | ||
Line 122: | Line 135: | ||
''CHRIS DORNER.'' | ''CHRIS DORNER.'' | ||
|0}} | |0}} | ||
== Gallery == | == Gallery == | ||
{{cg||Gallery|center|<gallery perrow=" | {{cg||Gallery|center|<gallery perrow="4"> | ||
File:Terminigger.jpg|Terminigger 2: Judgement Day | File:Terminigger.jpg|Terminigger 2: Judgement Day | ||
File:Dark Knight Chris Dorner.png|You thought it was all Hollywood. | File:Dark Knight Chris Dorner.png|You thought it was all Hollywood. | ||
File:I'll be smiling at your funeral.jpg | File:I'll be smiling at your funeral.jpg | ||
File:Chris Doner don't fuck around.jpg | File:Chris Doner don't fuck around.jpg | ||
</gallery>|<gallery perrow=" | </gallery>|<gallery perrow="4"> | ||
File:fuckup.jpg|[[Fail|ISHYGDDT]] | File:fuckup.jpg|[[Fail|ISHYGDDT]] | ||
File:Trust the police.jpg | |||
File:Ourhero.png|Our hero. | File:Ourhero.png|Our hero. | ||
File:Sharkweek.png|Sadly his wife divorced him, instead of recording shark week and going [[kitchen|back to the kitchen]] | File:Sharkweek.png|Sadly his wife divorced him, instead of recording shark week and going [[kitchen|back to the kitchen]] | ||
Line 141: | Line 150: | ||
File:Hepresidentnow.jpg|[[Black Jesus|He President now!]] | File:Hepresidentnow.jpg|[[Black Jesus|He President now!]] | ||
File:lapdflaws1.jpg | File:lapdflaws1.jpg | ||
File:Timeforapigroast.jpg|You can't corner the Dorner | |||
File:Chris dorner obama medal.jpg | File:Chris dorner obama medal.jpg | ||
File:QuentinDorner.jpg | File:QuentinDorner.jpg | ||
File: | File:Dorner_transparent_photoshop_clip_art.png|[[Exploitable]] | ||
File:Naturaldornkillers.jpg | File:Naturaldornkillers.jpg | ||
File:Andfuckbitches.jpg|And fuck [[wimminz|bitches!]] | File:Andfuckbitches.jpg|And fuck [[wimminz|bitches!]] | ||
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File:dornerimg6.jpg | File:dornerimg6.jpg | ||
File:dornerimg7.jpg | File:dornerimg7.jpg | ||
File:Banedorner.jpg|The LAPD have his permission to die. | File:Banedorner.jpg|The LAPD [[Bane|have his permission to die]]. | ||
File:Dormerhero.jpg|A real American hero, G.I. DORNER IS THERE! | |||
File:Judge Dorner.png| | |||
File:NOT DORNER DO noT haRm.jpg | |||
File:Chris dorner GTA.jpg | |||
File:Chris dorner - fired twice.jpg | |||
File:Chris Dorner - Man on fire movie poster.jpg | |||
File:Chris dorner fan art.png | |||
File:Chris Dorner - escape from LA.jpg | |||
File:Chris dorner Steam video game service account lol.png | |||
File:Chris Dorner Django Unchained.jpg | |||
File:Dorner did boston.gif| | |||
File:Dorner4chan.png | |||
File:Dorner and the force.jpg|The force will be with him, always. | |||
File:Ill watch the neighborhood you watch the skies - dorner zimmermsn.jpg | |||
</gallery>}} | </gallery>}} | ||
== Videos == | == Videos == | ||
[[File:Cop burn.jpg|thumb|[[nigger|You]] have the right to burn to death.]] | |||
<center>{{fv|Videos|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold; | <center>{{fv|Videos|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold; | ||
|<youtube> | |<youtube>tFdO2f2WIeQ</youtube><center>'''Real American Hero'''</center> | ||
|<youtube> | |<youtube>Gi2vjefoMns</youtube><center>'''Reenactment of Events'''</center> | ||
}}</center> | }}</center> | ||
== See Also == | == See Also == | ||
*[[Anders Breivik]] | [[File:Golden iPod Dorner 2013.png|200px|thumb|right|[[Winnar]] of the [[2013]] [[Golden iPod]]!]] | ||
*[[Sandy Hook]] | * [[Los Angeles]] | ||
*[[Fuck The Police]] | * [[IRL Trolling]] | ||
*[[Guns]] | * [[Anders Breivik]] | ||
*[[Dumbfuckistan]] | * [[Sandy Hook]] | ||
* [[Hero]] - [[Truth|what he is.]] | |||
* [[Fuck The Police]] | |||
* [[Guns]] | |||
* [[Dumbfuckistan]] | |||
* [[ULTRANIGGER]] | |||
{{nigger}} | {{nigger}} | ||
{{timeline|Featured article February 12th and 13th, 2013|[[Reddit]]|{{PAGENAME}}| | {{trolls}} | ||
{{anheroes}} | |||
{{timeline|Featured article February 12th and 13th, 2013|[[Reddit]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Love]]}} | |||
[[Category:IRL Shit]] | |||
[[Category:Drama-generating techniques]] | |||
[[Category:2013]] |
Latest revision as of 21:55, 13 March 2024
At the dawn of 2013, a former law-enforcement officer by the name of Chris Dorner rose like a big black musclebound sleeping giant and declared war upon the corrupt pigs that surrounded his hefty body. Dorner had discovered over many years that his former organization had lifted him up on a bed of lies, with inherent institutionalized racism and favoritism seeping through it's corrupt corners, and thus decided to go all out madman vigilante on their asses. Not only did Dorner author a breathtaking manifesto, but like many before him acted on his beliefs by unleashing them onto the general populous. Dorner has claimed to purge the world from the evil that he sees surrounding him, and like a modern day Jesus with guns, he'll mow down every single last propagator and enabler that stands in his hulking way.
The Story
On the 31st of January, after getting fired from his shit-tier job with the LAPD, Dorner posted his manifesto to Facebook. Soon after reading it, the moralfags on Dorner's friends list got butthurt and sent it to CNN, and the hit list was baleeted. Then nothing happened for 3 days after, because the LAPD didn't care and no one took him seriously. But suddenly, on February 3rd, Chocolate Rambo did what no nigger can resist doing - killing cops. (even though he used to be a fucking cop himself).
This, however, was no ordinary KFC robbery or bike theft. Instead, Dorner decided to pop a cap in the asses of Monica Quan, 28, a basketball coach and her fiancee Keith Lawrence. This was not done just because Dorner, being a nigger, knew basketball well enough to know a woman coaching basketball wasn't doing it right. The bitch was a police captain's daughter, increasing the butthurt level many times over. There are reports that after the murder, Dorner tried to escape to spicland.
But this wasn't enough for our sweet prince. At 1:30am Last Thursday, he went Rambo-style on two officers, using his LAPD training. Then, being the nigger he is, Dorner hid in the shadows while the cops went after him shot and injured random innocent bystanders, including women and children.
Pleased with his work, Dorner decided to sit on his throne atop Big Bear mountain while the cops accidentally the whole of L.A. When they finally traced him to the resort in the Sierra Nevada mountains, a five day manhunt ensued. Meanwhile, the police have offered a one million dollar reward for the capture of our hero because they are too incompetent to track him down themselves.
On Tuesday, February 12th, Dorner shot and killed 2 San Bernardino Country Sheriffs near Big Bear Lake, and subsequently sought refuge in a small cabin which was then surrounded by authorities. An epic battle commenced, in which a gunfight was shown live on National television. A charred body, allegedly Dorner's, was found in the wreckage of the cabin after police tried to trick him by burning the cabin down. Dorner's body was later found, charred and blacker than usual, with a self inflicted gunshot wound. RIP in peace chocolate Rambo.
The Chanifesto
Previous Quote | Next Quote
The Black King of /b/
Shortly after Chocolate Rambo's killing spree, /b/ decided to worship him as their new, and first nigger king. /b/ most likely did this because he was a better version of Anders Breivik since Dorner was after cops instead of the future generation of Cultural Marxist leaders. In addition, Dorner wanted to stick it to the man, much like all of those basement dwelling neckbeards, but unlike those basement-dwelling neckbeards, he actually did. This resulted in a surge of unoriginal faggotry.
As Dorner's one man army battled on against the donut guzzling force of the LAPD, fat messy denizens of the internet everywhere took to their twitter accounts to show their great love and appreciation for Dorner's bloodraged killing spree. Hashtags such as #TEAMDORNER, #DornerDidNothingWrong and #DornerForPresident sprouted up all across twitter feeds over the world, instigated by forces such as RustleLeague. People mashed their fingers into keyboards and phone screens, tweeting furiously as Chris and the LAPD played the most dangerous game of hide and seek evar. The old media and polizia where not happy with all of this hardcore tweet action, and organisations such as CNN and the LAPD urged people to stop, which naturally worked completely and everyone did what they said.
Graded Score
Kill count: | 4/20 |
---|---|
Accuracy: | 19/20 |
Style: | 20/20 Assassinated various targets. Tactical Espionage Action. |
Butthurt: | 18/20 |
Bonus: | 20/20 Survived his 6 star wanted level for more than 5 minutes. |
Copypastas
[+]Internet Tough Guy
[+]The Fresh Prince of L.A.
Now this is a story all about how the pigs got flipped turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute so fucking stay and hear my story of how I became the prince of LA
In South California born and raised, on the playground is where I spent most of my days.
Chilling out maxin' relaxin' all fly, Beating some racist motherfucking guy.
When a couple of cops who were up to no good. Started making trouble in my adulthood.
I got in one little job and then I got fired. Said I'm gonna take you down from the inside.
I whistled for some fags and when they came near. Put a cap in their ass and got my face on the air.
If anything I could say this moment was rare. So I killed a few more cops and fled into Big Bear
I hid at the resort for a couple of days. But I got pretty cunning and left without delay
I looked at the mess I had finally made, and sat on my throne as the prince of L.A.
[+]Gotta Kill 'em All
DUNN DUNN DUNN He wants to be the very best
Like no cop ever was
To kill them all is his real test
To expose them is his cause.
He will travel across L.A
Searching far and wide.
The families are gonna pay
For the conspiracies they hide
CHRIS DORNER
Is gonna kill 'em all.
Who comes next he'll make the call.
CHRIS DORNER
Ohh he'll kill again
for the truth he must defend
CHRIS DORNER
Is serious fucking shit
Say nigger and you'll get hit
He'll chew you up into bits
CHRIS DORNER
He's so fucking bad
He could kill your dad
CHRIS DORNER.
Gallery
-
Terminigger 2: Judgement Day
-
You thought it was all Hollywood.
-
Our hero.
-
Sadly his wife divorced him, instead of recording shark week and going back to the kitchen
-
Do you believe that's air you are breathing now?
-
You can't corner the Dorner
-
And fuck bitches!
-
Dorner should have followed the aspirations of any other typical nigger and gone down the path not taken, instead of becoming a cop.
-
The LAPD have his permission to die.
-
A real American hero, G.I. DORNER IS THERE!
-
The force will be with him, always.
Videos
Previous Video | Next Video
See Also
- Los Angeles
- IRL Trolling
- Anders Breivik
- Sandy Hook
- Hero - what he is.
- Fuck The Police
- Guns
- Dumbfuckistan
- ULTRANIGGER
Chris Dorner is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
Featured article February 12th and 13th, 2013 | ||
Preceded by |
Chris Dorner | Succeeded by Love |