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Alec Baldwin
—Alec Baldfail | ||
| |
|---|---|
| Alec Baldwin | |
| Born | April 3, 1958 (66 years old) |
| Nationality | Americunt 
|
| Highscore | Killed 1, injured 1 |
| Top 50? | No |
| Style | FPS, Single Player |
| An Hero? | No |
| Motive | Supposedly accidental |
Alexander Rae Baldwin III is an American unfunny 66-year-old boomer actor from New York who gets put into shitty unfunny Hollywood movies to please the mass of low-IQ idiots that will find anything funny.
In late 2021, Baldwin was eventually tired of these comedy-film hack producers not making anything good, and decided to give the director Joel Soulza what he deserved, a nice shooting. However - he ended up killing an Ukrainian hottie bitch named Halyna Hutchins who was the cinematographer for the movie insetad. He now claims it was an "accident" - probably to try and avoid an investigation from the FBI. In January 2023, Baldwin was found GUILTY... but only charged with simple manslaughter, proving once again if you have big money and big fame you can get away with big murder.
Backstory
Filmmaker Joel Soulza created a movie specifically for Baldwin called Rust, as he had bad enough film-taste to like Baldwin's shitty movies. Basically it's a generic murder movie about an accidental murder. Some argue it's ironic that the movie is about a accidental murder, despite the fact Alec Baldwin did it intentionally.
Despite having no budget at all, they were able to oversee guns for the movie by Hannah Gutierrez-Reed, daughter of Thorn Reed who had worked as a film armorer for years. They decided to put some real bullets in the guns as a middle finger for the director for making them work on his shitty movie.
Shooting
On October 21, 2021 while "shooting" a scene for the movie Rust, the cast were given guns. According to different sources, the guns were either checked or not checked. However - the overseer would have had to put the bullets in the guns, meaning that this was "likely" all planned.
Alec Baldwin became bored as a gourd recording for this movie, and wanted to be finished. Baldwin said "fuck you" and "maybe" attempted to shoot the director. However there was only a slight injury to Joey, but Baldwin was able to 360 noscope their worthless cinematographer-ess. Halyna is a woman, and since Alec shot her this de facto infers that he's not only a murderer but also a sexist, am I right?
Baldwin claimed he didn't know that there were bullets in the gun because he's an anti-gun faggot who knows fuck-all about firearms, but none-the-less, he will use them in films to line his Jew pockets with cash.
After fucking Joey and pwning Halyna, the remorseless actor posted on Twatter a fake half-arsed apology in which he BAWWWWWWWWWed about how guilty he feels. But, if Baldwin woulda just learnt about guns and trained to be competent with handling them, none of this would have happened. No doubt Alec will walk away from this whole mess convinced that his anti-gun bullshit views have been vindicated, while he hides behind armed bodyguards and kike lawyers.
Loadout
| Class Setup | |
|---|---|
| Item | Accessories/Bonus |
 |
But a prop can't fucking kill people, can it?
|
Investigation
It's no surprise that the American FBI is already "looking into" the case. Baldwin and the Rust movie team are under investigation by the Santa Fe Sheriff's Office, a "First Judicial District Attorney", and Mexico's Healthy and Safety Bureau. Unfortunately, the feds are too dumb to realize that Alec Baldwin "probably" did it on purpose or the "allegation" that an overseas person put in the bullets - so they're only going after the Rust production company for not protecting the film team. Hopefully it will put the film company out of business!
Also, one of the talentless actors - a certain Serge Snetnoy has filed a lawsuit (to fish for for extra Jew Gold) against the production/producers for not trying to take care of things.
Graded Score
| Kill count: | 1/20 1 injured |
|---|---|
| Accuracy: | 20/20 Hit two people with one shot. |
| Style: | 5/20 Surprise kill. |
| Butthurt: | 20/20 Angered basically all sides of the argument. |
| Bonus: | 5/20 Very rare circumstances for a shooting. |
Wanted Level:
Mall Cop
Gallery
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whoops -
very motivational quote, probably/maybe from Alec's mouth, who knows though? -
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"Just one more take, please!"
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A man of stature, Alec goes by many "names". -
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Future Jab/CDC spokesman? -
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Baldwin "may have" been sighted with the commemorative T-shirt -
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Obligatory "SO ANYWAY..." meme -
The (Dis)honorable General "Mad Dog" Baldwin -
the true and honest suspect? (Sam Hyde?) -
Irony, much? -
Alec Baldwin, soon to be very interested in dead nigger storage.
See also
External links
|
Alec Baldwin is part of a series on Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured Article August 15 and 16, 2022 | ||
| Preceded by Pedophilia |
Alec Baldwin | Succeeded by Joe Biden |
| Featured Article January 19 to 22, 2023 | ||
| Preceded by Logan Paul |
Alec Baldwin | Succeeded by Server Maintenance |
