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Kip Kinkel: Difference between revisions
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'''Kip Kinkel''' is an autistic crybaby, who murdered his parents and attempted to top the [[High Score]] at '''Thurston High School''', on May 21st, 1998. He successfully killed 4 people, and managed to injure another [[Epic fail|25]] before everybody dog-piled his weak-ass, cuffed him, and threw him in the slammer for a lifetime of [[Nigger|black]] [[buttsecks]]. | '''Kip Kinkel''' is an autistic crybaby, who murdered his parents and attempted to top the [[High Score]] at '''Thurston High School''', on May 21st, 1998. He successfully killed 4 people, and managed to injure another [[Epic fail|25]] before everybody dog-piled his weak-ass, cuffed him, and threw him in the slammer for a lifetime of [[Nigger|black]] [[buttsecks]]. | ||
Revision as of 10:19, 19 December 2016
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| Kip Kinkel | |
| Nationality: | Americunt 
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| Highscore | Killed 4, injured 25 |
| Top 25? | No. |
| Style | Single player, FPS |
| An Hero? | No. |
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This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
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Kip Kinkel is an autistic crybaby, who murdered his parents and attempted to top the High Score at Thurston High School, on May 21st, 1998. He successfully killed 4 people, and managed to injure another 25 before everybody dog-piled his weak-ass, cuffed him, and threw him in the slammer for a lifetime of black buttsecks.
Background
Kip was born two middle class parents, in Springfield, Oregon, on August 30th, 1982. He had a fairly decent childhood, but became a troublesome little shithead in his adolescence, often getting into fights, committing minor acts of adolescent juvenalia, like setting fires and property damage. Due to his autistic mannerisms, he was held back in school and put into special education. He always had a keen interest in guns. Being the great parent that he was, Kip's father thought it would be a good idea to give his (obviously troubled) son firearms- even buying Kip a Glock. Kip was a generic edgy fag from the 90s, and had a liking for bands like NIN, Marilyn Manson, and RATM. He spoke of perpetrating acts of violence, bragging about wanting to join the Military to have a free pass to murder people, brought guns to school, and even did a school report on how to build bombs. Despite these alarming warning signs, nobody thought it was a good idea to snitch that fag out; probably because it would be another few years until Columbine happens and schools actually put in some effort to monitor these types of kids. Eventually, Kip got suspended and arrested, and was on track to be expelled, due to possessing a stolen pistol, loaded with live rounds.
Loadout
COMING SOON, feel free to do this for me lol Too bad he didn't use a Gaili, you inaccurate fucktard.
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Assault
A few hours after the incident, his daddy told him that he would get shipped off to military school if he didn't calm the fuck down. Pissed off at having to accept responsibility for his own actions, Kip decided it would be a good idea to take his .22lr rifle and shoot his father in the back of the head. All of the violent video games that Kip played numbed his mind to violence- Kip simply believed he was inside a video game level and that his parents would respawn in a few hours. Shortly after murdering his daddy and covering him with a sheet, Kip reenacted Hitman IRL, and dragged the fresh corpse out of sight and into a bathroom. When mommy arrived, he told her that he loved her- and demonstrated it by firing 6 shots into her, dragging her corpse out of sight and covering it with another sheet. He then proceeded to play an old orchestra song over and over throughout the night. He left a note for the pigs, that read: "I just got two felonies on my record. My parents can't take that! It would destroy them. The embarrassment would be too much for them. They couldn't live with themselves. My head just doesn't work right. God damn these VOICES inside my head. ... I have to kill people. I don't know why. ... I have no other choice."
As morning approached, Kip hijacked his mommy's car and drove to the school. He was equipped with an assault trenchcoat, which concealed an arsenal of five weapons. Only his Glock 19 was any good, yet this faggot didn't even make any good use of it! Total amateur. He zerg rushed his school, firing several shots throughout the school, injuring dozens of kids but only killing 4- mainly because he was using gay little .22lrs. When he was out of ammo, he was quickly tackled by the students, until the pigs showed up to get him v&.
Aftermath
During the police interview, he tried to attack a cop with a hidden knife, but was pwned by a quick jolt of pepper spray. He explained how he was too much of a pussy to an hero, so he was trying to get the pigs to pwn him instead- a shitty plan that obviously failed. He was sentenced to life in prison, but attempted to repeal his sentence in 2007 -- a process that failed hard. His case still holds moderate notoriety, though nothing compared to Columbine or any other high-casualty tragedy.
Police Confession
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Videos
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Quotes
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Graded Score
| Graded score | |
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| Kill count: | 4/20 |
| Accuracy: | 1/20 4 killed, 25 injured. |
| Style: | 14/20 Sk00l Sh00ting/familicide |
| Butthurt: | 10/20 |
| Bonus: | 19/20 Killing both of his parents. |
| Total score: 58/100 (D) | |
Wanted Level:
___________________
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___________________
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Vice Squad
See also
|
Spree/One-time Killers: |
Aaron Alexis • Adam Lanza • Alex Hribal • Alyssa Bustamante • Anthony Warner • Audrey Hale • Bruce Jeffrey Pardo • Casey Anthony • Cho Seung-Hui • Devin Patrick Kelley • Dylan Klebold • Dylann Storm Roof • Eric Harris • Gerry McCann • James Holmes • Jared Lee Loughner • Jason Rodriguez • Jeff Weise • Jiverly Voong • Joe Stack • Josef Fritzl • Laaiti Ekenstéen • Mark Essex • Martin Bryant • Matthew de Grood • Matthew Murray • Matti Saari • Maurice Clemmons • Pekka-Eric Auvinen • Raoul Moat • Richard Speck • Robert Hawkins • Stephen Paddock • Tim Kretschmer • Timothy Hendron • TJ Lane • Tyler Peterson • Wade Michael Page • Woo Bum-kon |
|---|---|---|
| Career/Serial Killers: |
Academy Maniacs • Adolf Hitler • Charles Manson • Chris Benoit • Dnepropetrovsk Maniacs • Dubya • Jack the Ripper • Jeffrey Dahmer • Mao Zedong • Richard "The Iceman" Kuklinski • Ted Bundy | |
| Terrorists: |
Al Qaeda • Anders Behring Breivik • Anderson Lee Aldrich • Anton Lundin Pettersson • Dzhokhar Tsarnaev • Elliot Rodger • George Sodini • Maniacs Murder Cult • Mark Essex • Nidal Malik Hasan • Osama bin Laden • Tamerlan Tsarnaev • Ted Kaczynski | |
| See also: |
Antisocial personality disorder • Jews • Murder • Paranoid personality disorder • Pittsburgh Paint Job • Police Brutality • Sick fuck |