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Alexandre Bissonnette: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 18:28, 1 February 2017
Alexandre Bissonnette | |
---|---|
Nationality: | Canadian |
Highscore | Killed 6, injured 8 |
'Style | FPS, Singleplayer |
Top 25? | lol no |
An Hero? | Gave himself over to the police while saying sorry, eh |
Celebrating Canada's cultural diversity, a World of Warcraft playing Canadian named Alexandre Bissonnette entered one of the many mosques in Quebec and opened fire on the mudslimes inside. He had recently played DOOM, so he could upgrade to an AK-47.
Alexandre Bissonnette
The shooting
At around 8pm on the 29th of January 2017, Alex entered Le Mosque's ground floor, where all the men where gathered. The women and children were segregated to the upstairs, probably cooking or birthing.
Alex shouted his best
—Witness to the religion of peace |
Members Of The Mosque
- Mohammed Oudghiri who has lived in Quebec for 42 years is "very worried" and thinking of moving back to Morocco.
Pig's Head
Some time during 2015 a pig's head was left for the mudslimes during Ramadan, so the poor souls would not starve. It was a kind gift, but the ungrateful fucks declined it. Alongside the thoughtful gift a well-meaning and insightful leaflet was left for curious readers. It was entitled "What is the most serious: a pig’s head or a genocide".
Looks absolutely delicious.
Daily Beast Reporting
If you needed even more reason to disregard Daily Beast as a legit news source, you have to look no further than their coverage of this. They were fooled by the fakest of fake twitter accounts, and actually believed that Davis Aurini and Matt Forney were behind the shooting.
Seems legit.
High Score
Graded score | |
---|---|
Kill count: | 6/20 (8 Injured) |
Accuracy: | 5/20 20% killrate, horrible |
Style: | 5/20 Canadian rip-off |
Butthurt: | 17/20 Canada levels of butthurt |
Bonus: | 20/20 Less Mudslimes |
Total score: 53/100 (C-) |
See Also
External Links