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Jesse Osborne: Difference between revisions
imported>Befreier No edit summary |
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! style="text-align:right;" | Butthurt: | ! style="text-align:right;" | Butthurt: | ||
|4/20 ''No one really cared about this shooting.'' | |4/20 ''No one really cared about this shooting. Plus school shootings are already ingrained in society.'' | ||
|- | |- | ||
! style="text-align:right;vertical-align:top;" | Bonus: | ! style="text-align:right;vertical-align:top;" | Bonus: | ||
|16/20 ''Pwned his dad before setting out for the High Score'' | |16/20 ''Pwned his dad before setting out for the High Score'' | ||
|- | |- | ||
! colspan="2" style="{{roundy|9px}}background-color:orange;box-shadow:0 3px 6px yellow;" | <big>Total score: 40/100 (''' | ! colspan="2" style="{{roundy|9px}}background-color:orange;box-shadow:0 3px 6px yellow;" | <big>Total score: 40/100 ('''F''')</big> | ||
|} | |} | ||
<center>'''You will never outrank Adam Lanza.'''</center> | <center>'''You will never outrank Adam Lanza. However, at least you did better than [[Brooke Higgins and Sienna Johnson]].'''</center> | ||
<center>'''[[High Score|See full ranking]]'''</center> | <center>'''[[High Score|See full ranking]]'''</center> | ||
Revision as of 00:01, 13 February 2017
| |
|---|---|
| Jesse Osborne | |
| Nationality: | Americunt 
|
| Highscore | Killed 2, injured 3 |
| Top 25? | lol no |
| Style | Single player |
| An Hero? | Nope |
Jesse Osborne is an edgy 14-year-old faggot who killed his dad and drove his pick-up truck to his local elementary school and shot 3 people before being tackled and shackled. His assault became known as the Townville Elementary School shooting (A.K.A Sandy Hook 2: Electric Boogaloo). Frankly, no one gave a fuck about his chimpout. But what they didn't realize was that poor old Jesse was possessed by THE GRINCH- I mean, ADAM LANZA,the renowned autist who shot his mom and drove to his old elementary school and shot 20 kids. Jesse Osborne was first suspected to just be re-enacting Sandy Hook until the scientists at ED found out that Adam's ghost had possessed Jesse and decided to try and add more points to his High Score.
Before Jesse was able to go for the High Score, some fucking fatass kid was lurking in the school after scoffing down a super-sized severing of McDonald's and bellyflopped on Jesse, leading to his arrest. Jesse is now locked away in juvenile detention, living the thug life segregated from the internets, young wimminz, and education for special needs students. All he has left to enjoy is getting his scrawny ass buttfucked during Bubba's daily routine.
Graded Score
| Graded score | |
|---|---|
| Kill count: | 2/20 |
| Accuracy: | 8/20 2 killed, 3 injured. |
| Style: | 10/20 Tryhard school shooting |
| Butthurt: | 4/20 No one really cared about this shooting. Plus school shootings are already ingrained in society. |
| Bonus: | 16/20 Pwned his dad before setting out for the High Score |
| Total score: 40/100 (F) | |
Wanted Level:
___________________
|
___________________
|
Mall Cop
See also
- Adam Lanza - Jesse's idol.
- Jaylen Fryberg - Another teen who chimped out at his school in 2014.
- Dylann Storm Roof - White supremacist faggot who went on a rampage in the same state as Jesse did.
- High Score - What he failed to achieve.
- An Hero - What he should have done.
- Bubba - The nigger who is tending to Jesse in juvenile prison right now.
