Tsavo Lions

STEP THE FUCK OFF! Tsavo Lions looks like shit but it is NOT a {{crapstub}}. It is a work in progress! If you require assistance beefing up this article, then hit up the experts on our IRC.

The Tsavo Man-Eating Lions were basically if Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold were Lion furries in fucking Kenya and actually did a great job at the highscore cause these big ass kitties killed and ate at least around a dozen niggers which is greater than Payton Gendron and Dylann Roof could imagine.

Tsavo Man-Eaters
Nationality:	Kenyan
Highscore	30+ Killed
Top 50?	7th
Style	Spore, Co-Op
An Hero?	No (PWND by hunters)

G̶o̶a̶t̶ Lion Simulator

In March of 1898, da British started construction of a railway bridge over the Tsavo River. Those fucking crackers didn't want to work at all cuz they rich and lazy so they employed Indians (The 7/11 kind) to do da job. The man in charge of this stupid project was John Henry Patterson. They made tents for the indians which you'd think would be like TeePees but they weren't. During 9 months two male lions without manes which were obviously made fucking fun of by lions with manes and penis shamed by females got revenge but not on their own species but instead the worst one. These lions "NBK" was to sneak in the middle of the night and fucking go ape shit on a railway worker by stealing them from their tent and eat them fucking alive!!! RAWR. Because of this Patterson and his gang tried fucking everything but they kept killing. They tried campfires and thorn made fences but nothing worked. These two would eventually team up like E & D and snack on a railway worker together. They kept on racking the highest coop furry highscore til Patterson got pissed that his railway would never be finished so he decided he would go hunting, for... lions.

Lion Hunting

Patterson sent out a army of around 20 musket hunters to make an end of this lulz. The first lion was pwned on 12/9/1898 and then 20 days later the second was pwned epicly that would make the most redneck fucker proud.

Eternal Punishment!

These two loser lions were eventually taxidermied and eventually put on display in the Field Museum in Chicago. Illinois. A fate worser than death to have your own dead body mocked for the public.

Graded Score

There is no fucking Co-Op for animals on the High Score board so these lions are automatically fucking V& but if there was they would get a fucking S Tier for their epic serial killin'.

See Also

• Kenya - Where shit went down

External Links

• TOW coverage

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