Joseph Kony

The situation, and probably definitely you, in a nutshell.

Hide yo kids, hide yo wives, and hide yo husbands.

Joseph Kony is a US presidential candidate for the upcoming 2012 elections. This genius avoided paying a single cent for a viral publicity camapaign that overshadows that of most GOP candidates. Formulating a plan to unite both jungle-bunnies and trendies (as both are unwashed, illiterate organ bags) under his regime, this hero adopts niglets in the festering shithole known as Uganda. He single-handedly employed thousands of youth, teaching them lifelong lessons and redeemed their local economy, something the past couple of US Administrations couldn't achieve. He has the confidence and the will to also turn our struggling economy around. Kony has efficaciously utilized various social media platforms, and the dim-witted Americans that come with them so that he may, in the words of out of work iMovie expert and convicted cock-beater Jason Russell, escalate to celebrity status.

Hipster Takeover

Out of place white people playing jungle war or a prog rock band's sarcastic album cover?

The director of Kony 2012 is a crack addled compulsive wanker known as Jason Russell

Only until March 6, 2012 did much word get out about this man because some JewTube video goes viral and all the hipster fags got hold of it. The video became viral among idiotic, fat Americans who think that by watching a 30-minute video made by a hobo douchebag hipster, it will automatically make them an expert on African politics and a social activist. They also think that just by donating and buying the movie they're going to better the lives of poor, starving child soldiers in Uganda. The truth is they are paying off Jason's mortgage and the couple of hundred bucks that do manage to make their way to Africa, pay off competing armies that also employ thousands of child soldiers. So much for hypocrisy, eh?

tl;dr we're going to kill a black man, but this time we made t-shirts.

WARNING

• The following video is infested with propaganda. If you are sensitive, you may be vulnerable to the brainwashing seen in this video and it could turn into a Kony-drone.
• This shit is half an hour long. Too long; didn't watch: Hipster goes to Uganda, finds niglet victim, tells his son, tries to tell the world about Kony. Apparently on 4/20 to celebrate Hitler's birthday and weed (not forgetting an hero day, assuming this is a secret mass suicide attempt), these hipsters will spam the world IRL with "Kony 2012" as if anybody actually gives a shit.
• Between 25:00 and 25:30 on the video you will see a lot of OBEY messages. Funny, huh?

It seems Invisible Children disabled commenting because people were leaking the truth.

Invisible Children Scam

The truth.

The Kony partyvan where children are transported

What most people don't know is that the Invisible Children organization "apparently" made to take down Joseph Kony is a complete fucking scam. The money that IC earns from their propaganda machine is only donated to Uganda at less than 32% while the rest of the money is kept to themselves.

In reality, IC is just a money-making scam and Kony will continue to employ his genius political tactics in Uganda, for the good of all the people there. IC spent more money making that shit documentary than they have in Blackistan. Jewgle "Invisible Children scam", your search results will be flooded with proof of IC's faggotry.

On Dickipedia, the website thats supposed to be TRUE and HONEST and without bias, they claim that Invisible Children is a non profit organization. Hilariously, the page is blocked from editing, due to "vandalism." I guess Jimbo finally got his money after all.

And the gold in the pile of shit finally makes its way through

Previous Video | Next Video

The Truth

In 2006 a reporter manages to find Kony in one year while the Ugandan and US Militaries have yet to find him. This video shows that most allegations IC and many other fucktards have made were complete propaganda so it could slow this man's progress of rebelling against the government. Joseph Kony and his army fight for freedom and are innocent men.

Jason Russell

Shooting your Invisible Children 101.

Jason Russell did an interview before getting high on crystal meth and ejaculating on cars.

A true hipster achievement.

Jason Russell and a floating set of teeth.

Kony 2012 Now available on Xbox 360. Get a free copy now once you purchased the $50 Kony 2012 Action Pack!!

Founder of Invisible Children and known hipster Jason Russell was arrested on March 15th 2012 in San Diego for vandalizing cars, public drunkenness and public masturbating. He was in his underwear running through the street while spanking it at oncoming traffic. Was it any surprise to know where all that donation money went to? And as one could guess, 4chan and Reddit had a field day laughing at his misfortune.

	“	Jason Russell was unfortunately hospitalized yesterday suffering from exhaustion, dehydration, and malnutrition. He is now receiving medical care and is focused on getting better. The past two weeks have taken a severe emotional toll on all of us, Jason especially, and that toll manifested itself in an unfortunate incident yesterday. Jason’s passion and his work have done so much to help so many, and we are devastated to see him dealing with this personal health issue. We will always love and support Jason, and we ask that you give his entire family privacy during this difficult time.	„
	—Invisible Children's CEO Ben Keesey doing damage control

Jason finally tells all his hipster fans the truth!

"This must be an ancient ritual dance he picked up in Uganda."

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	“	Oh...! What? Fuck that shit and *BLEEP* fuck you and the devil. Ahh, Ahh, Arg!!!! *BLEEP* Yay!!! Oh my god, fuck that shit!	„
	—Jason Russell in his state of helping the children of Uganda.

Trolling

Post this picture on Facebook and declare your respect and admiration.

They're only invisible at night.

Because most supporters of this program "Invisible Children" are gullible retards, they are an excellent target for trolling. The message attempting to be pushed is "Kony 2012" which Amerifags usually associate with supporting of a candidate in a Presidential election.

• In Kony support video comments or on Facebook post "KONY FOR PRESIDENT" for further lulz.
• Link Kony-drones that spam their pointless protest garbage to this page.
• Post any image from the gallery below to Facebook or Twitter.
• Tweet #teamkony, #freekony, #voteforkony, etc.
• Respond to "KONY 2012" shit-posters with "HITLER 1945" or "OSAMA 2001". #Hitler1945 #Osama2001
• Post lulzy song remixes regarding Joseph Kony anywhere and sit back and enjoy.
• Say that you want to get a hold of Kony so you can find out how he gets a niglet to do all that work.
• i think kony 2012 is a pretty cool guy. eh kidnaps niglets and doesn't afraid of anything.

I think its safe to say Rucka Rucka Ali has read this article

Konyfags in a nutshell

[-+]Bel-Air

In West Uganda, born 'n' raised,
On the battlefield is where I spent most of my days,
Chillin' out, maxin' reloadin' all cool,
And taking some niglets out of their school.

When a couple of Liberals started making me fret,
Started causing trouble on the internet,
They started one campaign and my men demanded,
They said "You're movin' with your kids to a barracks in Sudan"

I whistled for a vehicle and when it came near,
It was a school bus with a bunch of armed kids in the rear,
If anything I could say, this bus was rare,
But I thought, "Nah, forget it, yo' kids, we're outta here!"

I pulled up in the Sudan 'bout 7 or 8,
And I yelled to Museveni, "You mad? Smell you Later!"
'Looked at my army composed of all my homies,
To sit at my throne, cos' I'm Joseph motherfuckin' Kony.

Jason Russell's gay level

Apparently Jason Russell was mad because he couldn't get any cawk from the king of gays, Robotnik, and threw a hissyfit.

KONY 2012, The worst lie ever told, by Jason Russel. You might think he is trying to do good, but let me tell you a story that was told to me by Dr. Robotnik, of what Jason Russel really is.

--Chapter I: You see, Dr. Robotnik takes being gay as a form of art, but he too was totally disgusted and freaked out by how much of a flaming gay homosexual beast Jason Russel was. You see, Robotnik was constantly harrassed by Jason Russel, it first began with love letters from him, where he asked if he could clean Robotnik's sniper rifle, then if he could pop his heatsink. Robotnik of course kept throwing these out into his fireplace and making sure nothing remains of these, as they were too gay, even for Robotnik to take.

Then one day, Robotnik went out his front door, only to see Jason Russel, naked, in a goatse pose, stretching his huge asshole in front of him. Robotnik couldn't even say anything at the sight of the white liberal gay faggot's huge gaping asshole. He just went off to buy his groceries, but Jason Russel kept being right in front of him, stretching the asshole ever deeper and wider as the unlucky Dr. Robotnik didn't care, and bought his milk and eggs. This went on till he went back to his frortress, on the way Jason's asshole even latching onto fire hidrants to clench it's thirst for large solid phallic objects, as well as swallowing a car. Robotnik tried to ignore the gigantic gaping hole in front of him that kept following in front of him like a dog, despite the fact that it was wider than a door by now.

Jason Russel kept begging him to take out his disgusting douple peenuses, PINGAS and PINESS, but Robotnik didn't even say anything to the ever-flaming homosexual monstrosoty in front of him, if he could even see his face behind the pure-white buttocks and that ugly as fuck giant gaping goatse. Robotnik wanted to get rid of the ugly white liberal american gay ass in front of him, so he kicked Jason in the nuts and ran as fast as he could to his fortress, he could get in just in time to close the door on the giant gaping asshole, which suctioned onto the frame.

The next day, Robotnik woke up to a very loud quarrel outside his window. It was Jason Russel, covered in green poop which was flowing from his ass. His ass was a meter wider than yesterday, and he was throwing a tantrum, screaming with a tomato red face and throwing bits of green poop at Robotnik's window, demanding to get Robotnik's cocks up his ass. However just when Robotnik thought it couldn't get any worse, Jason Russel pulled the childhood dildoes he lost long ago from his gaping hole, they were the ugliest things Robotnik ever saw, essentially purple and pink dildoes covered in crustified shit, with orange corn bits. Jason Russel started sucking them off, before throwing them at Robotnik's house, screaming his head off. Suddenly he pulled a strangely human-looking small object out of his ass. The poor lad looked like he was unfortunate and still lived, before Jason threw it at the fortress wall.

By the second day, Jason Russel had been enveloping the garden gnomes of Robotnik with his behind, before standing up with them completely gone. He was still screaming, demanding that Robotnik have hot gay sex with his behind.

--Chatper II: Jason Russel was busy enveloping Robotnik's huge statue with his giant gaping goatse, that up until then, he attached to the end of the nearby tunnel to lure the unsuspecting drivers into his cavernous, endless enormous rear-pit. It's been five days since Robotnik's nightmare started, and it seemed like it wasn't even nearing it's end.

Robotnik's fortress looked like an abstract painting, covered in all variations of poop color, not a single window had any seethrough spots on it. Everything was covered in green, yellow, brown, orange, black and yellow poop. Robotnik had long sealed himself inside the panic room of his fortress, a room that had five foot steel walls and a door that not even is own enormous cocks could get through. He was jacking off his two enormous, disgusting double peenuses to pictures of tubgirl, funnelgirl, 1guy1jay, Mr. Hands, when he heart a strange sound through the surveillance system. He immediately switched on the camera view, but bickering and frustrated that he was interrupted.

Jason Russel's was posing for one of the cameras, from his ass a horde of old black men, who were once Ugandad children Russell wanted to smuggle out of Uganda in his bowels. This act however, made him realise he likes stuff up the butt, especially when it remains there, and later gave him the inspiration to name his organization the "Invisible Children". These Invisible Children, who had now become visible as old wrinkled bags of bones, violently attacked the wall of Robotnik's fortress with the dildoes that Russell's ass had swallowed, and managed to beat their way through the wall, only to be caught by Robotnik's sodomizer robots. However, their fragile old bodies couldn't take it, but it was enough of a diversion to the let the monster slip through security.

Robotnik was now panicking, he could not think of what to do, but he knew that unless he acted now, he'd end up forever stuck in Jason Russell's endless bowels. He could think of only one person who could help him in such a dire situation, so he grabbed the phone and phoned Jim Dale, he knew he could always think of a plan for such drastic times.

Meanwhile, Jason Russell and his army of Invisible Niggers had torn the place apart, and covered every single surface in Jason Russell's special pudding. The entire fortress was a mess, so bad that Robotnik had to turn the cameras off so he wouldn't get a heart attack. Except for one, the one that showed Jason Russell outside the fortress. He had to be aware of what he was doing. Jason had by then packed all of Robotnik's kitchen out on the lawn, and suddenly pulled over a thousand dead black fetuses from his asshole, put them in Robotnik's mixer, and grinded them up into a fine paste, which he smeared all over his ass as a lubricant. He was tempting Robotnik to come out and finally surrender his cocks to him.

Now robotnik knew what had to be done.

Gallery

Gallery of Kony About missing Pics

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  Would make a better game than Call of Duty.
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  No exceptions.
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  Kony chillin' with Osama.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

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  Coney Kony Dogs!
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  Kony deserves a theme song too!
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  Delicious!
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  Fresh Prince'd
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  Konymon
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  A Very Kony Christmas.
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  Kony Claus
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  Spidernig snatchin' yo kids.
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  Yo Kony, I'm really happy for you, Imma let you finish
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  ~$WAG~
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  The Melancholy of Joseph Kony
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  ONLY QUADS CAN KILL KONY
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  Uganda: The Tranding Card Game
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  Age of Empires edition
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  Oh you.
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  Kony Hill
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  KONY! GET TO DA CHOPPA!
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  Stayin' Kony
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  The Axis of Evil Lulz.
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  KONY FOR PRESIDENT!
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  wat.
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  Quite "Kony", huh?
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  Obamacized
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  Word, nigga.
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  Typical Kony faggotry
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  ten-HUT!
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  More children capable of invisibility.
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  Even Jon Stewart's getting tired of this
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  Better than most black people.

See Also

• Child Abduction
• War

Links

• Official website, complete with hipster bullshit design.
• Hipster behind "Invisible children" Jason Russell arrested for masturbating in public
• Keep trolling!

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Joseph Kony is part of a series of topics related to Black People☻

Featured article March 10 and 11, 2012
Preceded by Sabu	Joseph Kony	Succeeded by Rush Limbaugh