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Dogo Nahawa Massacre

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Once again, Muslims show us the true nature of the peacefulness of their religion. The tally is different depending on the source, but it is reported at least 200 to 500 Christians were killed via machete in three Nigerian villages south of Jos. The villages in question are Dogo Nahawa, Ratsat, and Zot. The Vatican is currently attempting to save face and trying to stymie any religious backlash while the Muslims are more likely than not, enjoying their hard-earned child scalps. This is a fairly pathetic number given that most Christians are usually too busy prostating themselves to their lord and savior to have put up a decent fight in the last several hundred years. The Vatican was understandably upset that they had not yet had the opportunity to rape the childrens' minds and bodies before being put to death.


Not the Children!

No one was spared in the retaliation attack carried out by the Muslims of the area. The city of Jos has long been home to religious violence between the Christian and Muslim population. Nigeria is split across the middle, with Allahfags to the north and Christfags to the south. Occasionally their faggotry will clash along an invisible border through the middle of Nigeria and a few hundred people will get pwned. Much like this time.

The Allahfags apparently ran rampant through a few Christfag-dominated villages. They asked them simple questions of "who are you" and "who are you with" in their tongue of Fulani. Apparently this is the common tongue of the local Muslim population. Those that did not answer back in Fulani were summarily dispatched in an expeditious manner.

Reporters and humanitarians are wringing their hands over the wanton violence including the machete-oriented execution of a four day old infant. The media is also currently butthurt over the tangle of toddler babies that were soon to be stuffed in a mass grave and forgotten just like all the other times its happened.

Barely an honorable mention was given to the adults that were hacked up and shoved into sewer pits and wells.

Why this is shocking or surprising to the world is unexplainable as it's FUCKING NIGERIA AND RELIGIOUS VIOLENCE. Apparently it is new information that man slaughters each other in horrific fashion over who's invisible man is superior. Since it hasn't at all been happening for the last several thousand years or anything.


Muslims? In my Nigeria?

It is believed that this attack was a reprisal for the whatever the last attack on the Allahfags was that no one gives a shit about anymore. The two sides have been indiscriminately killing each other for decades now in a series of retribution. It should be noted that the government should embrace this conflict and arm both sides. Since they are so willing to slaughter women and children it won't be long until they kill each other close to extinction. Then the government can roll through with their shiny guns and gear end the conflict for good.

   
 
While it is too early to state categorically what is responsible for this renewed wave of violence, we want to inform Nigerians that the security services are on top of the situation.
 

 
 

—Nigerian President Goodluck Johnathon

Though the appropriately named President Goodluck Johnathon would give the initial appearance of the pony to bet all of one's life savings on, the jackass decides he can possibly save face in this encounter. It is unclear why he seems to think that no one will notice that this has been going on for at least a decade, back and forth. But don't worry, their security forces are all over it. Just not over the ninety minutes the Allahfags spent slaughtering the Crucifuckers.

Both sides are fearful of reprisal attacks and are doing their best to attempt to diffuse the tensions between the sides. This is largely irrelevant since Shia Law paints heathens as no better than cattle and Christfag rhetoric has their heathens burning in fire and brimstone. So frankly, why even bother?

Call the ICC!

Several humanitarian groups have called on the International Criminal Courts to investigate the slaughter as it appears to be nothing more than ethnic cleansing. Allahfags are moving further south and attempting to take over fertile farmlands from the indigneous Christfags which has perpetrated and almost unending state of conflict for the two groups.

It is unclear what exactly the ICC could fucking accomplish in Nigeria being that for every one corrupt government official there's another six waiting to take his place. Simple logic would dictate the only reasonable solution is to bomb the entire country flat and turn it into a parking lot.

Modus Operandi

This particular attack was seen as much more methodical and gruesome than previous conflicts between the two sides. The Allahfags poised themselves outside of the huts and homes of the Christians and began firing shots into the air. When the people emerged from their homes they were greeted with animal traps, mosquito nets, and regular nets. Once trapped they were given a machete surgery. It is believed that women and children were the largest group of victims. This is likely due to Nigerian housing only having a front door and the kitchen being in the back of the residence. So while our Nigerian male counterparts were likely enjoying a beer and watching whatever it is Nigerians watch, piles of rocks probably; their women were dutifully making a sammitch in the back of the house. Thus, the clearly superior males had a greater chance of running like little girls instead of defending their fuck-holes.

Perpetual Violence

In a twist of hilarity, a crowd of angry Christfags in mourning fell upon a Muslim journalist covering the affair and beat the living shit out of him and almost threw him into the mass grave where their loved ones were being stuffed for an eternity. It is unclear why they are so angry being that the victims are now with their "Jesus". Frankly, it fits their dogma more to be killed and go to heaven as soon as possible.

Police had to fire shots to get the crowd to run away, presumably not into animal traps, to rescue the hapless Murtala Sani Hashim before he ended up buried alive in the mass grave. Apparently, no one in Nigeria can recognize the irony of the situation.

JIHAD!

It has recently reported that when the slaughter was started, a several Christians alerted their resident lord Christfag to get some security forces out to protect them. The security forces that responded merely sealed the area and would not let any Christians in to assist their brothers and sisters until 6 the next morning. The commander of the military in the area is a Muslim, and it is widely viewed that he allowed this to happen or was at worst in league with the attackers.

   
 
The massacre could have been avoided if my report had been acted on.
 

 
 

—Governor Jonah John Jang

See Also

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