345rv5
345rv5 (aka Evan Henry DeSaussure) is an oversensitive tartlet that takes anime shit way too seriously. To him, all the Mario games, Bleach, and Naruto anime are SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS where terrorism, plunder and child abuse take place. On a daily basis he interjects his unwanted opinions in lengthy comments and journals on DeviantART.
Beef with Bowser
345rv5 spends most of his time in his grandmother’s basement where he has made it his life’s mission to flush himself down the toilet to get to the Mushroom Kingdom and rape Peach, but mostly convincing everyone that the Mario games are SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS and if you insist on only seeing a plumber eating mushrooms and jumping on turtles to save the princess YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG AND YOU’RE AN IDIOT. 345rv5 loves doing his lecturing tl;dr while abusing the comma key on his keyboard and masturbating to Princess Peach.
Evan hates Bowser. HATES. He considers him to be THE MOST EVIL "malevloient dictator" of all time equal to SATAN. Evan's also in love with Princess Peach soooooo when other tartlets started pairing Bowser and Peach as a couple he went completely batshit crazy.
His theory is that Bowser is the reincarnation of an ancient powerful demon hence his EVUUUHL ways of tennis playing, and that the magikoopas are a thousand year old cult of evil terrorists. Ironically, while exposing THE TRUTH of the Mario series he continues to draw his Peach fantasies, even if Peach behaving like a slut is completely out of character.
—345rv refering to Bowser | ||
Plowing Princess Peach
Most of Evan's DA gallery is dedicated to his sexual feelings for peach. I guess that's why he hates Bowser so much since he's always being mean to his waifu. Imagining a fat Italian Plumber's sexual relationship isn't weird at all. neither is thinking about a fictional cartoon princess sexually. Not creepy or weird at all. I'm sure everyone imagines their favorite character from childhood fucking them.
—345rv5's description | ||
—Evan enjoys incest too. | ||
Welcum to Evan's sick Peach fetish Rule34 DeviantART Gallery
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Peach in a bathtub filled with shit. Mario cumming. link -
Peach's misshapen ass. 345rv5's gonna fill her hole. -
Peach and Mario orgasming. Fukken gross. -
EW DIS NIGRA IS ATTRACTED TO LESBIANS! He thinks... naked female bodies are attractive! This is the most disgusting thing the internet has ever come across. God save us. DeviantArt is clearly a den of pedophile rapists for depicting an omnipotent celestial college student nuzzling a demonic MILF.
Other Cartoon girls Evan DeSaussure gets off to
You sick fuck. *Actual list. Typos Included.
- tsundane
- princess zelda
- jean grey
- strom
- she-hulk
- wonder woman
- princess daisy
- samus aran
- chun il
- anroid 18
- rukia
- chi chi,bluma"
Anddddddd any other animated non existent female he can get his hands on. Real girls are ew pig disgusting. Pro tip: Before they were ever animated:
- Tsunade, Android 18, Chichi, Bulma and Rukia were all manga characters
- Princess Peach/Toadstool, Zelda, Daisy, Samus, and Chun Li were all video game characters
- Jean Gray, Storm, She-Hulk and Wonder Woman were all comic book characters
- They're all fucking mainstream at this point, standard buxom vanilla women with overwhelming tens of thousands of geeks fapping to them that nobody cares if this nigger does too
Bleachtarded Bitches
Last thursday, 345rv5 posted a new DA journal entitled "Arrnacar Fighter is a Bleachtarded bitch " about a tartlet that dared to say his favorite Naruto character would loose in a match against some other gay Bleach character.
He starts off by complimenting the guy, saying "he's a pretty good artist" but by the end he's so pissed he calls him "second rate" and a "10 year old girl" which ironically, is the only one 345rv5 could manage to offend with with such MEEN words.
The incident took place over this shitty animu picture where 345rv5 literally responded to every comment on every page with a lengthy bible length post on why his favorite naruto character is the strongest. Like a true autistic, most of these replies were completely unwarranted. At one point he was literally trying to argue with someone who actually shared his point of view. Proving once again, that 345rv5 is a complete social failure incapable of even basic human communication skills. This is not the first time he's done this either. He's tried several times to win arguments on the internet centered around hypothetical non existent anime super heroes.
Fun Facts & Misc gay shit
- 345rv5 / Evan is dirty mix of Black and Hispanic.
- He constantly bitches about Naturo and Bleach but reads the new chapters religiously.
- Reads fanfics all day everyday. Also, writes them
- Uses the words EPIC and FAIL nonstop and finds them humorous. EPICruto and FAILREACH LOLOLOL
- Claims that "Obama really is a secret Nazi" and blames him for any and all problems.
Mariowiki Faggotry
Not even tartlets could take such a fucking ridiculous statement over Bowser seriously so 345rv5 attempted to take it up with the neckbeard gamers by vandelizing the Bowser Mariowiki page. Looks like even fat fuck gamers don't give two shits about his opinions on Bowser and to Evan's surprise, didn't take them as fact either. HOW DARE THEY not see Bowser as a remorseless and diabolical monster, incapable of loving, who instills fear !!!
Banned by SJWs on Deviantart
In August 2015, 345rv5 was banned from Deviantart for the crime of saying "All Lives Matter" which is had infuriated the SJW who was very pro-Black lives matter in these journals. https://archive.is/qUFY3 https://archive.is/3WmgH http://fuckshiru.deviantart.com/journal/Even-more-reasons-why-345rv5-is-innocent-555667078 http://demonfoxproductions.deviantart.com/journal/345rv5-got-censored-and-banned-by-SJWs-555513222 http://fuckshiru.deviantart.com/journal/RIP-345rv5-555334169
Some suspects communist losers like Party9999999 and another one nicknamed Master-of-the-boot who had fallen on hard times with a divorce or SJWs like Rad-Pax, a well talented artist who's been misguided in his life and Briannabater, a model who was ,according to a poster nicknamed lifrian :"... was actually a very sweet, kind and gentle minded girl who just wanted to make a name for herself in the world of artistic modeling. She joked, she teased, she loved to be a bit coy on the comment section and was an overall pleasant Deviant to be around. However, after a while she began complaining about how she was not getting as much exposure as pr0n models and she began complaining about sexism and stuff. This (and her nice art, why deny it) attracted a lot of Feminists to her page and began giving her the exposure she craved, so she went full I AM A FEMINIST AND WAS RAPED on everyone."
In other word, Briannabater had succombed and been corrupted by the Dark side of the Force. She said she wants to leave Deviantart but she hadn't deactivated her account yet after one year, her account had been deactivated.
Caps
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The way 345rv5 sees Super Mario -
Reality check for who? -
Bowser = Dick Cheney. -
Bowser is an otherkin!!!
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HE'S A TERRORIST! -
Did Bowser kick his dog or something? -
BAAAAAWWW -
Mario fans agree he has issues -
345rv5 expresses his love for tl;dr by tracing and making a long description of things everyone already fucking knows about - in shitty grammar. -
The Shadow Queen is yet another victim of 345rv5's faggotry. -
These things actually happen in Mario games. -
More lulzing regarding 345rv5's lack of life -
345rv5 manages to come across as an attention whore and an arrogant bastard. BTW welcome to DevianTART. -
... Srsly.
External Links
- Former account of 345rv5 on DevianTART on the Wayback Machine
- Satanic Bowser Rant on DA
- "Arrnacar Fighter is a Bleachtarded bitch" Journal
- The longest animu internet fight
- 345rv5's Facebook
- Brother's DeviantART
- 345rv5 archived comments about the Black Lives Matter fanart done by RadPax who was triggered like Aids Skrillex as well as Trigglypuff and was flagged as spam which it wasn't because it was a inconvienent truth.
See Also
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