ISWAP
ISWAP, short for Islamic State's West Africa Province, formerly known as Boko Haram, is an Islamic Extremist terrorist group located somewhere in the scenic and redundantly named land of Nigeria. Founded in Southend-on-Sea, England, in 1967, the group follows some extreme laws, all of which would seem totally pathetic in the white man's eyes with the exception of beating women. Their influences have been said to include R&B, The Blues and Soul, although they are perhaps noted for their homage to classical forms. The four-man group roams Africa and can often be seen cleansing near a mud puddle. Conservationists are concerned that giraffes and noble apes often have to travel miles to find a puddle that is not infested with filthy nigger Muslims. One of Boko Haram's leader, Abubakar Shekau, is as black as black gets. The term "Boko Haram" means "western education is forbidden" which proves just how dumb they are, although some experts opine that the latinesque name was derived from the name of a group member's pet cat.
The idea of Boko Haram is simple: Shoot the fuck out of Christians, churches and those who do not believe in Allah. Nigerian state governor Dr Mu’azu Babangida Aliyu stated "Islam is known to be a religion of peace and does not accept violence and crime in any form" and Boko Haram is not a part of Islam. In 1995 the group's name was Shabaab, Muslim Youth Organisation whereby young Muslims were are trained how to hijack almost any form of transport, bomb any building and shoot any gun (after all, it takes a rocket scientist to figure out how to pull a trigger.) All this while shagging goats and consummating marriages with their nine year old cousins. Their intended aim is to IRL ban everyone who doesn't come round to their brand of Islam. They first headlined their philosophy at the Isle of Wight Festival in 1970, before artistic differences led to a parting of the ways for some members.
In 2012, the group narrowly missed induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, after which they decided that a public relations coup would revitalise sales. So in April 2014, they kidnapped 300 groupies who willingly converted to Islam. Much Butthurt ensued around the liberal media as a result. Also, they may have had trouble selling them on as they were too old.
Copyright lawsuit
In 2005 the group was sued by one of its former members, who claimed to have written significant sections of its most influential work. The ensuing court case went all the way to the House of Lords, who ruled that since there was no legal time limit for copyright infringement claims the founder member was indeed entitled to a 50 per cent share of the group's royalties for their magnum opus.
This fundamentalist training video details the work in question, which is believed to have built upon the religiously-inspired work of a 17th Century protestant.
Leaders
- Mohammed Yusuf (R.I.P, nigga)
- Abubakar Shekau
- Mallam Sanni Umaru
- Abu Zaid
- Baraq al-Husseini
Known Forms of Terrorism
- Animal pornography
- Building bombs
- Bombing buildings
- Shooting Christians/unworthy Muslims
- Invading one's private property
- Suicide Bombing
- Supporting act at many festivals
- Gibberish
Supporter(s)
- Muslims
- Allah
- Your mother
- Hippies
- Jews
- ISIS
