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Mintah

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The suspect, getting his hyphy-hyphy on.

Marcus is a troll who frequents 4chan. He is a Level 17 middle-class black and has specialized in Extreme Belligerence (III), Race Baiting (VI), Deflection (II), Illusions of Grandeur (XXII), Net Thug (VI), and Victim Complex. (MCXVI) As a middle-class black, he comes with the inherent racial “TV Is Real”, thinking that the ghetto hardness of his favorite albums could also be preserved on the internet.

Origin

Marcus first came to 4chan on Janurary 23rd, 2005. For two years, his antics taunted the wrath of many forum regulars. By October 4th, 2007, Anon had collected enough information on this namefag to prepare a raid against him. Such legendary boasts as what is below eventually lead to his downfall.

   
 
you think you white nerds can get me? im fucking marcus smith. ill post whatever the fuck i want when i want faggots
 

 
 

Internet Tough Guy

Within two weeks, Marcus ceased posting on 4chan, but a startling description of what Anon had uncovered came to light:

   
 
in high school, this dude was short tempered and would always get mad over some shit and jumped on guys and started throwing punches. however, none of them ever connected cuz he had absolutely no self control or aim cuz he rocked glasses on some steve urkel shit all throughout high school. not to mention he was an uncoordinated white-washed black kid who lived vicariously through lil wayne and whichever other "gangsta" rapper he was jockin at the time.

he was the laughing stock of the school, he tried to hang out with the "popular kids" and did stupid shit for attention and they'd laugh at him and talk shit about him behind his back AND to his face. the only reason people even had him around was for their own amusement. i'm sure all of you guys know somebody like this.
 


 
 

Nomnomynous

Marcus "Mintah" Smith

Planking is Marcus's way of getting out his homosexual tension

Like his favorite pokemon, Marcus rapidly admitted his addiction to racist, criminal behavior:

  • Claiming to be off of probation, followed up with:
  • Robbing White People For Weed.
  • Doing Coke
  • Snitching On His Neighbor's Criminal Activity
  • Average weed-smoking nigger
  • Being racist against Serbians
  • Being racist against Jews

Anon, the protector of all that is Serbian and Jewish, decided to strike back.

All in the Family

I'M ON A MOAT MOTHERFUCKER
In some cases, it's never too late for an abortion.

Within hours, anon had performed a thorough search on Marcus and pulled up significant information. anon requested a picture of Marcus, holding a piece of paper with "I'm sorry anon" written on it. However, Marcus put all his energy into Net Thug (VI) and refused to comply. Anon then issued a simple ultimatum: Give him the picture or his mother will be notified of his trollishness.

anon fired the salvo that made the mighty ego of Marcus tremble:

“I don't want to come off as strange or odd... but Marcus has been nothing but a nuisance in our Hip-Hop community. He's been banned multiple times for his outlandish aggressiveness and he continues to return with extra belligerence. We have had no choice but to notify his parent(s) of his activities. He even went as far as posting his own SSN for reasons we can't seem to figure out. Our community has since removed the number, however, Google Cache is much slower. This posses a tremendous credit risk to your family. I hope he can have some sense knocked into him, as he is intelligent and passionate... it's just he has no basic respect for anyone or anything.

Please review them for yourself, as they are chronicled on Google.

I do not mean to come at you in such difficult times for the world right now. I would just like some peace to our own little plot on the internet :D

Sincerely, Anime Image Community Watch.”

Marcus switched to his Victim Complex. (MCXVI) talent and planned to sue anon for emotional distress. Much lulzing occurred as the big tough guy admitted to being beaten. Just then, Momma responded:

“Thank you for letting me know. I will address him. The SSN that is posted is not his SSN, which I am glad he wasn't stupid enough to post but still sad that he would post such information. I am new to the site and apologize for my son's idiotic behavior.

How did you find me or know I was his mother?”

anon responded:

“Thank you for your response. And I'll be more than happy to provide you the information you requested.

I'm usually called in whenever people need to be found. Missing alimony, bail jumpers, pending child support.... sort of an online Bounty Hunter.

His MySpace ([1]) has him claiming to be 'Marcus' living in Glenview. Having such a unique name, a simple search in Google revealed a pledge that was made years ago on his behalf.

A search on 123people.com showed that you were the parent in question.

He also posted from a community college with an IP we recently obtained from him. We just determined the SSN in question was not his, as he posted his birthday online. I'm happy to hear no harm to your credit can occur because of this.

We won't pester you with constant updates of his activities, and we do apologize that it had to come to this. We've been putting up with him for two years now. Hopefully after this event, he will be more copacetic to the rules of our community.

Thanks again, Anime Image Community Watch ”

Shortly after Marcus realized threats of legal intervention weren't working, Marcus received a mysterious phone call, congratulating him on his achievement of Internet Fame. (Please take note of his complete lack of bravado when Marcus found out that the Internet strikes back.)

Marcus continues to play the tough guy at 4chan, but these days, he keeps his distance from anon.

The Great Retaliation

After trading oral favors for services with other hackers in an attempt to get back at 4chan, the great and mighty Marcus lashed out with photographs of his black penis to taunt Anon into uncontrollable salivation signed up as Liukang, and tried to delete the information about him. His experiments in time travel proved unsuccessful, and he was banned within minutes.

Useful Statistics

  • Forum Names:
  • MarcusGarvey
  • BlackTooStrong
  • AIM Names:
  • malcomNext
  • tooTrill4U
  • Date of Birth:
  • January 15th, 1995

Quotes

   
 
fuck is a 4chan? nigga, we good.
 

 
 

   
 
you aint gonna do shit against a real nigga DO SOMEFIN.
 

 
 

   
 
you white nerd hackers are ruthless. im sorry
 

 
 

[WatermelonsFried Chicken]
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