Voodoo

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
srsbusiness
srsbusiness
Voodoo has no Internets connection
ED articles need internets relation, and it's not hard to do. You can help by adding more info on websites/trolling about this topic and lulz/drama pertaining to them or this page could be deleted at any time. For help, see this and this
srsbusiness
srsbusiness
Uh oh..Voodoo is a bit short on content, and may leave you wanting moar.
You can help by adding relevant content, pictures, links, drama and lulz. Be sure to improve the article, not mess it up. For tips, read The Manual.
This article has been tagged since August 21


   
 

At least 45 people, most of them Vodou priests, have been lynched in Haiti since the beginning of the cholera epidemic by angry mobs blaming them for the spread of the disease
 


 
 

—CNN

A fine upstanding African lady anticipating the honor of a ceremonial voodoo rape.

Voodoo is the national religion of Africa and is practiced by Negroes there who are not Christians or Muslims. Anyone who says otherwise is probably majoring in some gay shit like African studies and is a multiculturalist. If they are not black, you can safely bet that they are an Arab or a Wigger.

Origins of Voodoo

Many niggers actually believe that voodoo is a uniquely African invention. Actually the concept of voodoo was invented by the creators of Monkey Island, and the voodoo lady in that game was so popular that this crazy decided to LARP as her 4 lyfe. After this a bunch of niggers thought it would be cool to claim voodoo as their own, so they planted a bunch of evidence across numerous countries to support their lies, much as Satan did with the fossil record.

How it happened was that one day a big fat lazy nigger fell asleep when he should have been doing chores. His big fat negress wife got her pots and pans and jumped around screeching at the top of her voice until her mate was finally woken up. Since it was nothing short of miraculous to get a nigger doing work when he wanted to sleep, the negress's achievement passed into legend. And so it is that to this very day, negroes believe that they can wake the dead if they dance around making an enormous noise and talking crazy.

Voodoo Practices

Voodoo practice centers around excessive drug use, stabbing crudely constructed dolls, worthless "spiritual" shiny objects which niggers, much like magpies, tend to collect, and rape. Niggers who follow Voodoo often have the intelligence quotient of an ape. The aim of voodoo is to pwn your enemies (in other words practically everyone), impress/contact dead ancestors (generally because you never got a chance to tell daddy you loved him and have been cutting over it ever since) and facilitate rape.

Needless to say, voodoo does absolutely jackshit and has not been very popular outside of Africa, Haiti and New Orleans. Followers are known to be peaceful people who dont believe in superstition. Fans of it OTI can be found at vooudou and here.


Types of Voodoo

Practical Applications

Voodoo
is part of a series on
Obscure Religions


Click topics to expand:

Major ReligionsMinor ReligionsTrollianityDeitiesReligious IconsOther ReligionsRelated Articles

Links to separate templates:

ChristianityJudaismIslamAtheismScientologyCultsPortal of Truth