President

Who needs history class, this is all you need to know

W, the President of America, was the smartest president. evar. OBAMA is the smartest president evar.

The 1970's were an interesting time to be alive.

Taft is mostly remembered for being fat and having awesome facial hair.

Andrew Jackson enjoyed exiling Indians, slaughtering British, and personally beating would-be assassins to death.

Coolidge is mostly remembered for being quiet and his contributions to sexual psychology.

In lead we trust.

A President is anyone who is in charge of lots of shit. You can usually tell if you're a president or not based on how many people kiss your ass and how big your armed escort is. Many countries, such as El Salvador and Texas, use the presidential system instead of having a queen or a dictator.

The Election Process

In a democracy or a republic, the President is chosen by the people (except in Israel and the United States, where fucking everything is chosen by Jews). A specific day is picked and everyone skips out on work to go vote, thus fulfilling their civic duty. Later on that week the election is contested by the loser and then the opponents engage in a fight to the death.

The survivor of the duel then calls his old college/drinking buddies up and invites them to help him run the country into the ground.

Presidential Powers

When you're a president, you're allowed to do whatever you want. This includes blowing shit up, kicking puppies, eating gourmet meals, and forcing your will upon the world. Some presidents have chosen to do this on their own, but others have claimed to do it in the name of God.

Examples of Presidents

• Albert A. Gore is president king of the Internets and future Emperor of the Moon.

• Girlvinyl is Queen of æ Treachery, Deceit, and Anal Warts.

• Hepkitten is president of LiveJournal.

• Oprah is president empress of black person.

• Adolf Hitler was Reichspräsident and Führer of Germany.

• Mikhail N. Saakashvili was president of Georgia.

• Saddam Hussein was president of Iraq.

• Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was president of Iran.

• Vladimir V. Putin is eternal president of Russia.

• George Washington was the first president of the United States.

• Warren G. Harding was the first negro president of the United States and is currently president of Wikipedia vandalism.

• John F. Kennedy is president of mythology, conspiracy and cheating on ur wife.

• Lyndon B. Johnson

• Ronald W. Reagan was president of senility.

• William J. Clinton remains president of hookers and blow.

• George W. Bush was the president of being himself.

• Barack H. Obama is president of chikinz.

• Donald J. Trump is president of Dumbfuckistan.

• Hugo R. Chávez was president of Venezuela and an IRL troll. Good night, sweet Prince.

Examples of things that are not Presidents

• Hillary Clinton

• Benazir Bhutto

• Bob Dole

• Al Gore

• John Kerry

• John McCain

• Joe Biden

• Vermin Supreme... yet.

Examples of things that want to be President of the U.S.A.

• Hugh Jidette Running for 2012, vote for him and receive a free pony, and pie!
• John McCain not eligible because he's dead
• Cynthia McKinney
• Ralph Nader
• Sarah Palin
• Hillary Clinton
• Howard Dean
• John Edwards
• Bernie Sanders
• Rudy Ghouliani
• Mike Gravel not eligible because he's dead
• Mike Huckabee
• Nikki Haley
• Ron DeSantis
• Jesse Jackson
• Dennis Kucinich
• Lyndon Larouche
• Gavin Newsom
• Joe Lieberman
• Ron Paul
• Mitt Romney
• Al Sharpton
• Freddie Thompson
• Arnold Schwarzenegger not eligible, thanks to his penis.

See also

• Blaming China
• Democracy
• Politics

President is part of a series on Politics.

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President is part of a series on Donald Trump. You're gonna love this article, believe me.