Barack Obama

You may be looking for nigger. Nope, this is the right article. Definitely.

	“	I won!	„
	—Dark Overlord to GOP [1]

A Black Xerxes is fine too.

BURN THE CONSERVATIVE! PURGE THE WHITEY!.

killing some disabled Sandnigger to distract from his lack of a birth certificate

Born in a Kenyan manger.

Obama's double

This is what ethnically-challenged atheists and philosophers actually believe.

Barack Jesus (/b'rɑːk jee:zuhs/) or Barack "Barry" Soetero Obama aka Black Hussein Osama Hussein is the first Halfrican American (like 40% black, 59% white and 1% Jew) , 43rd, 3/5th and final president of the Jewnited States of Americunts and Primo Finesse Pimp of the land. As of Last Tuesday El Presidente owns the body of every American Citizen fulfilling his manifest destiny of being King of Pimps and Lord of Lords. Nancy Pelosi is his Bottom Bitch.

Obama owes George W. Bush a session of oral sex due the fact that if people learned how congress worked, and stopped blaming Bush for everything, the country would never have elected an unknown Indonesian-Muslim nigger whose greatest contributions was picking cotton and secretly keeping his gay sex "on the down low".

This epic win for the moar lurkers of teh Internets (not to be confused with the NORP infested tubes of the Internet) came after an entirely tl;dr harblfest from 2006 to 2008 and dubbed Survivor: Murka, a reality TV election contest where he outwitted, outpwnt and outlived the rivals from both his own Democratic party, the GOP and a pipe and pole smoking faggot on YouTube who claimed he sold Obama crack and gave him a hummer in the back of a Hummer.

Most of all however, Obamunists and butthurt Republicunt bawfags can thank a brave civil rights pioneer named George Dubya Bush who spent 8 long years tirelessly campaigning on behalf of the junior Senator from the most politically corrupt state in the Union and laying the groundwork for an elitist, abortion-loving, black Moslem with no birth certificate an obvious shoop to prove his US citizenship and his anti-American, political simpleton, wife to get elected in the world's most racist country. No mean feat given that Obama came packing a Socialist agenda of "personal responsibility", "shared sacrifice", and "hard work" to a people perfectly happy with their time-tested value system of being lazy, fat, greedy cheats, and who couldn't care less about the next guy.

A Master of Black Arts

Obammessiah won the the 2008 Election using several clever tactics. These include:

1. Faptastic rhetoric

His "hope and change" message made many leftards wet and hard. Hope and Change implied that the "status quo" (which any lefty worth his/her salt HATES) was broken and simply bad. Obama implied that he WAS Superman, Jesus, Muhammad and Marx all rolled into one, neat little package.

2. De-regulated donations

Ironically, despite the fact that he LOVES government regulation over Wall Street, there was an alarmingly small amount of regulation on the Obama online donations list. On this list include many odd entries including Micky Mouse, "Cousin Osama" and Adolph Hitler residing in "Number 1 Reichstag, Berlin".

3. He's black

See: White guilt.

4. Media

The Media simply got a hard-on for Black Jesus. CNN (Clinton News Networkk), CBS, ABC, and (most notably) MSNBC became 24-7 Obama info-mercials. The ad breaks simply provided a moment for the anchors to fap. The printed word (New York Times, Boston Globe, LA Times, TIME, etc.) simply became printed pr0n for Obama-ites and brainwashed otherwise sensible people.

5. Economy

Despite all of this, John "Zimmer Frame" McCain was by no means out of the race.....until the economy went tits-up. Once this happened, Obama was able to use all of his strengths listed above to secure his landslide victory.

"Change" into a negro!

And so the lord, your God, looked upon unholy Bush and proclaimed "BEGONE SATAN, for in this man is christ. And the power of the holy spirit lifted the devil out of him and made his pimping hand strong. And with this, Bush's skin turned black, his hair fell out revealing the scalp of the king of the negros, and all trace of any work ethic had left this once misguided man. -Blacks 5:21-24

"Change" into a Muslim

	“	"they have served in our government... they've won nobel prizes"	„
	—"barack" on Muslims, noticing a common theme here?

Iniggeration Day

----

	“	Fruit on the bottom, hope on top.	„
	—Mitch Hedberg foretold of the Black Jesus coming to power

He did it strictly for the lulz, (coincidentally so did most of the people that voted for him).

Truth

On January 20th, 2009, Barack became the first negrito president to not be assassinated at his inauguration, much to the dismay of bookmakers and two million punters gathered in DC with money riding on a headshot because he was wearing a bulletproof suit. He also made history by not really becoming president until the following day's re-edit, after the oath of office was accidentally trolled by W's boy Chief Justice John Roberts of the Supreme Court during the official swearing-in.

Taking full advantage of the glitch in the Matrix, BJ spent the evening hitting a handful of inaugural balls in search of Lewinskys from starstruck white wimmins without fear of impeachment.

Meanwhile, Bush and his Darth Cheney were dispatched from office and sent packing for exile in Texas and Tatooine to a chorus of "Booooo"s (and cheers from the MSNBC media tent) to a severe tongue-lashing from the incoming n00b, who condemned everything BushCo had done for America over its 8 years in power.

Black historians noted that America came a way vis-a-vis race relations because had Obama been the Commander In Chief that turned the country into a laughing stock with an 8 year legacy of EPIC FAIL at home and abroad. The mob would have been two million angry crackers with torches and nooses and his final destination would have been hanging from a tree in the National Mall on the end of a rope.

Some people are enticed by this prospect taking place in the next four years of even moar epic fail. What will a bankrupted cracker mob do to Nobel Peace Prize Winrar Black Jesus when his Chamberlaine-like policies result in an mushroom cloud upon The New York Times building?

First 100 Days

Obama's first presidential speech.

Obama may be whiteproof.

BHO didn't waste any time delivering on the change he had promised to bring to Washington. Within two weeks he had alienated both the right with his orders to close Gitmo and allow 9/11 bombers to become part of Wreckonomics and the left with many of his cabinet appointments, his vow to continue extraordinary renditions (because WE DO NOT TORTURE! we just send them places that do) and get the troops on the first flight home from Iraq (with an indefinite lay-over in Afghanistan).

He angered most of the people who voted for him by announcing he would sell China the parts of America they don't already own and give the billions to the Jewish who helped Armenians bring the global economy to its knees by providing them unlimited amounts of credit to go with their food stamps and welfare.

He spent a great deal of time trying to pass a stimulus package that would provide substantial investment for alternative energy, causing great butthurt to climate-change deniers & economically-sound Republicans who knew it for what it truly was (and still is): big-government spending that will usher in a new era of socialism in America. Obama tried persuading the American sheeple by spinning it as vital for national security and economic recovery before going into the usual tree-hugging BS. This was passed by the Senate and will work as follows:

1. Tax.
2. Introduce a carbon crap-and-trade system. Which overcredits everybody allowing for it to make no difference for at least three decades, by which time the system will be eliminated anyway.
3. Increase investment in failed, backwards technologies like nuclear energy.
4. ?????
5. PROFIT!

	“	Where the white women at?	„
	—President Obama addressing the 111th United States Congress.

Accomplishments

Black Jesus is literally about to become The Final Boss of the Internet.

Barack Obama holding a speech.

The old media blows blackie every day, and only few have the balls to tell us the tr00th about what's really going on in Washington. We only know that Black Jesus Hussein Obama has failed at everything.

They're regretting it now

Black Jesus can't give speeches without a teleprompter, even when the audience is a 6th grade class.

• He passed a trillion-dollar "federal relief" package based on the idea of Keynesian economics. Obama allegedly gave all trillion dollars equally to different states to create jobs, but the only indication of this is the fact that there is now construction on every major and minor highway in America. FYI, that's more than Bush spent in his entire eight-year reign.
• He failed at closing Gitmo because they lacked funding. Then everyone freaked out and stopped talking about it when the old media finally caught wind about sekrit briefings the leaders of Congress had about what happens at Gitmo.
• Lol'd openly at the prospect of legalizing marijuana or amending existing laws that send people to prison for years and labels them felons.
• Supported Bush administration's view on the treasonous Valerie Plame scandal.
• Socializing the healthcare system, which is going over really well with Republicunts. The biggest resistance comes the Tea party movement. Yes, a community organizer got schooled by a "grass roots" organization with corporate media sponsorship. LULZ

Britain- A Special Mention

Obama also has pulled off a remarkable feat in pissing off one of the few countries that can stand Americunts. Despite Britain being filled with mentally retarded tea-drinking sheepfappers, they have feelings too. Like all niggers who wouldn't take no shit, he's pissed off at the Brits because they owned the area where his ancestors would perform tribal dance shit. Plus, his father was a Kenyan which meant that they pwned him. Therefore, when he got into the White House, he got rid of the Churchill bust to make sure everyone knew he meant srs bsnss. Nigger probably took it to Cash Converters or some other shit. He then went and said that the BP oil spill was all Britain's fault despite the workers at the rig, the federal regulators, the company that made the piping shit and half of BP itself being owned by Americans.

ZOMG Nobel Prize for Chemistry

Leading by example.

and the collection keeps growing.....

Another defining cultural moment in Obama's political process came when he received the Nobel Peace Prize for Chemistry and outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. The technical conditions of his award were intended to recognize his commitment to nuclear disarmament, and his multi lateral diplomatic approach, which is championed as being very internationally sensitive and cooperative.

Simultaneously the administration is increasing the number of nuclear weapons produced in the United States, and continuing to directly fund nuclear proliferation capacity in US colonies like Israel. During a major conference of nations held by the Obama administration regarding the need to protect against nuclear terrorism, several middle eastern countries were not invited or permitted to attend.

The war effort in the Af-Pak region has also accelerated since 2008 past anything the previous administration could have hoped for. The Obama Administration made official announcements, pledging that the number of nuclear weapons in the United States arsenal would be reduced by 35 percent by year 2020. Even if you believed this line, it would still just mean that in a decade the US would have 3500 nukes instead of 5000, which still translates into several dozen extinction events. Wow, what a peaceful gesture indeed.

	“	I did not realize the Nobel Prize for chemistry had an affirmative action quota.	„
	—Erick Erickson, of RedState.com forgetting about Mandela, Coffee Anon and other Nigger Terrorists

Obamunists

We're fucked.

Tim Geithner

Tim Geithner was a Wall Street bigwig who is awesome at evading taxes and becoming Secretary of the Treasury. When Geithner was announced to be Black Jesus' pick for Treasury Secretary, Wall Street made it very clear that he had made the right choice. Geithner is best known for smoking a lot of pot, saying the word "fuck" all the time, skateboarding, tree-hugging and being a hipster.

Tim Geithner received a cumstorm when, during his confirmation hearings, it was discovered he owed $34,000 in late taxes. People told him to withdraw his name, but he was too high to understand them. But hey, what's an extra $34,000 between taxpayers and gov't officials?

	“	I use Turbo Tax.	„
	—Tim Geithner, giving a ringing endorsement.

Geithner payed his back taxes and paid off Chris Dodd and Lindsey Graham and ended up as the Treasury secretary. When he isn't getting high with young folks at Morrissey concerts, he can be found ruining the American economy and having no fucking idea what he is doing. Refer to the South Park episode on the banks and bailouts. The Treasury chart is pretty much how they work irl, too.

We're doomed...

Rahm Emanuel

Main article: Rahm Emanuel
Rahm Emanuel is Obama's fucking insane Chief of Bullshit (Head of Staff). His middle name is Israel and the only Jesus he believes in is Black. He only has one middle finger and he is known for sticking it so far up the ass of dissenters that he can tell them what they had for breakfast. Rahm is most notable for saying the word "fuck" on the Senate floor many times (much to the excitement of the CSPAN censors) and IRL trolling the Republican party, including sending a pollster a dead fish and stabbing papers with the names of Republicans on them. His closest friends are Jospeh Stalin, Yasser Arafat, Ayn Rand and Meir Kahane.

	“	Of course, Stephen [Colbert] and I do have our differences. Stephen believes the messiah is Jesus Christ. In my briefing books, that’s Barack Obama.	„
	—Rahm Emanuel, on religion.

	“	You never want a serious crisis to go to waste.	„
	—Rahm Emanuel, on rape.

Dr. Peter Orszag

OHAI GUISE

IRL UNITINU Dr. Peter Orszag is a blogger who Black Jesus put in charge of the budget and finances for America. He, of course, is a Jew who likes the word "fuck." He also worked with Rahm Emanuel in the Clinton Administration. He is loved by neocons, Republicans and tr00 Americunts such as Lou Dobbs for his deep love for cock and his tendency to quote Toby Keith lyrics every chance he gets. He is also a notable eco terrorist, having authored an entire book on how to save the trees while growing our economy.

	“	I don't believe in fiscal restraint.	„
	—Dr. Peter Orszag, on liberalism.

	“	We are in a very deep hole.	„
	—Dr. Peter Orszag, on Oprah's snatch.

With three words that will ring from coast to coast, from sea to shining sea: we are doomed.

Jon Favreau

It is obvious to you by now that Black Jesus is partial to hipsters with an affinity for pot and partying hard. This has never been more apparent than in his barely legal speech writer, Jon Favreau. He is known for taking advantage of all the perks of working for the President, such as dating White House aides and interns as well as supermodels, living in a rich and gay part of town and spending all day in Starbucks Facebook-stalking and writing speeches. He is known for doing whatever the fuck he wants and for noone giving a shit about it. He also frequents high stakes XBox Live LAN parties at the State Department and is famous for owning them in Rock Band battles.

Ideology

Niggachrist is a man of the people, obviously a typical American. After graduating from a crash course on Islamic Values from an Indonesian Medrassa he furthered his studies under the wing of ugly Jew and prominent Socialist, Saul Alinsky. The wholesome all-American combo of Jihad, Communism and Jewish Materialism, tarnished with East African pedigree proved very popular to the American Public allowing him to get all his nuts in a roll to make the New Socialist Man:

• Promote a culture of Promiscuity and ignorance of preventive birth control methods
• Impregnate single women
• Provide Free and Mandatory Abortions (this is a bad thing how?)
• Use the parts of the aborted fetuses to assemble a new race of Superhuman Liberal Babies for glory

or

• Sell the stem cells extracted from the fetuses to the Chinese and the Arabs for profit.

Rape Controversy

The original police report

Back in 1990, in a small, quiet town near Harvard Law school, occurred the rape and subsequent murder of a young, white woman. After the police investigated the crime, they quickly narrowed the list of suspects down to two men. One was a blonde-haired, blue-eyed, Caucasian man who was an upstanding citizen. The other was a half-breed Negro who engaged in unamerican activities. It didn't take long for the police to clear the good name of the first man. With overwhelming evidence they arrested Barack Obama. Mysteriously, all the evidence disappeared and Obama was a free man. Now, years later, Obama is trying to frame an innocent man for his past crimes and people are asking: Why he doesn't take responsibility for what he has done?

wat

wat

Assassination of US Citizens

B-rack Hussain Osama Bin Biden has authorized the CIA to murder US citizens if they are suspected, not verified terrorists. Again here even more here eventually he found a war exception here, so it's ok to do this and finally argued that it was secret here.

For video

	“	I'm a huge fan of executive power, but if someone came up to you and said the government wants to target you and you can't even talk about it in court to try to stop it, that’s too harsh even for me...	„
	— George Bush, the guy who thought it was ok to waterboard.

Notable Quotations

A Challenger Appeared.

“   You ain't my bitch, nigga, buy yo' own damn fries!   „     —Barack Obama,Nigga President     “   There are white folks, and then there are ignorant mother fuckers like you!   „     —Barack Obama,Arrogant President     “   Now you know that guy ain't shit. Sorry ass mother fucker got nothin' on me, right? Nothin'!   „     —Barack Obama,Mother fuckin' President     “   I'm not an economist.   „     —Barack Obama, Economic Idiot     “   [:File:OBAMA_NUMBER.mp3   „     —Sure, you can have my number baby!]]     “   Barack Obama,Mack President   „     —When I was a child, Kenya was my happy homeland, until I grew up and realized there was something else out there. So I decided to leave them niggas starving. To get a decent life, I had to fly in a roflcopter to the states where I could get a falsified green card if I sucked a couple of dicks.     “   Barack Obama,The Honorable President   „     —I'm coming Weezie!     “   Barack Obama,Genius President   „     —Shit's getting way too complicated for me.     “   Barack Obama,Trying to learn the Oaf of Office.   „     —That's it! I've had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!     “   Barack Obama,No, this isn't a mistake. He actually repeated the line from SoaP several times after it was released in theaters.   „     —I'm rich, bitch!     “   Barack Obama, Rich Nigga   „     —{{{25}}} Previous Quote | Next Quote

Media

Make some mahfuggin noise up in this bitch!

He loves his fried chicken

Videos

Typical Obama Supporters (definitely not racist) The mack daddy pimps black bitches and white bitches. Obama hates the first amendmant Previous Video | Next Video

Obama's Mom

	“	I’ve been screaming about this for more than two years: Obama is the loyal son of a left-wing anthropologist mother who sought to expiate her white guilt by going to bed with Muslim Third World men. He is a Third World anthropologist studying us, learning our culture and our customs the better to neutralize what he considers to be a malignant American influence in world affairs.	„
	—Trooth.http://www.firstthings.com/blogs/spengler/2010/04/09/this-is-not-a-drill-this-is-the-real-thing/

	“	Well, thank God someone's neutralising our obviously malignant influence---someone's got to do it, and it's a dirty job and we're too lazy to do it, SO SEND IN THE JANITOR---that's what you do after the rich, white, frat-boy's vomited all over the place.	„
	—Every sane human, aspie, and furry, on Earth

Pikshurs

Galería del Jesús Negro About missing Pics

• Obama posing for his future National Socialists of Amerika!
  Obama posing for his future National Socialists of Amerika!
• 
  Obama fires his LAZARRRR!
• How Obama treats his our money.
  How Obama treats his our money.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

• We all knew that.
  We all knew that.
• 
  Dis nigra is jiggy wit it.
• 
  This is why we can't have nice country.
• 
• 
  The debt star.
• 
  Average obama voters
• 
  Oh lawdy
• 
• 
• 
  His Chocolate Reign has already been initiated.
• 
  Bel-Air
• 
  The new presidential library.
• 
  FUUUUU!
• 
  His nigger-faced wife.
• 
  Racism's over. Everyone go home.
• 
  In the end the Americans will be ours, mind, body, and if you like, soul.
• File:Hope.jpg
• 
  Oh Lawdy!
• 
  The promised change.
• 
  When Obama takes a break from being president, he spends his leisure time whipping some jailbait ass.
• The poster that got him elected
  The poster that got him elected
• 
• 
  OH EXPLOITABLE
• 
  Why the faggots elected Obama.
• 
  Known to have epic loot!
• 
  Obama loves Mexicans and their underwear.
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  Bill Holbrook shows his support for Obama.
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  Obama's baby picture.
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  Methsicko loves Obama!
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  The President sees all, knows all.
• 
  Does Obama rule the world, or does the world rule him?
• 
  One of the few promises Obama kept was to buy a dog. 'Bo' was stolen from a local Humane Society after he was abandoned for being flamboyantly gay and ugly as fuck.
• Obama loves dolljoints.
  Obama loves dolljoints.
• 
  DAT ASS
• 
  Obama comments to McCain Voters.
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  Obama the camwhore.
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  When white people do it, it's stimulating the economy. When black people do it, it's stealing.
• 
  He just wants to watch the world burn
• Reichschancellor and President of the United States.
  Reichschancellor and President of the United States.
• 
  He is the color of fail. Notice the Nigger Shopping Skills
• 
  Barack pissed off at Bernanke. Not because he sucks dick at managing an economy but because he is jocking his cock.
• 
  If Obama were a Pokemon, this is how he would evolve.
• 
  A challenger appears
• 
  An example of the type of personal army request Obama worshippers often try.
• 
  right
• 
  Obama uses a Mac.
• 
  Obama is a faggoty mac. Bush is an aids filled pc.
• 
• 
  Obama is hanging with his homie!
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  Birthplace of Barack Obama!
• 
• File:0002.gif
• 
  Walk in, see this. What do?
• 
  Obama merchandise. Courtesy of Mek-shit co.
• 
  The stimulus package.
• Obama, 2008, by artist Keith Boadwee.
  Obama, 2008, by artist Keith Boadwee.
• 
• 
  Critics think he's number 2, disillusioned leftwing fanboys think he's number 4,butthurt rightwing fanboys think he's number 1 and 3.
• FOTOCHOP
  FOTOCHOP
• Ladies and Gentlemen, President Obama and First Lady.
  Ladies and Gentlemen, President Obama and First Lady.
• 
  This is what voters were expecting.
• 
  Black Jesus action figure. Balls are missing.
• File:Obamaexpected.PNG
• Showing his final form after election night
  Showing his final form after election night
• Living it up
  Living it up
• 
  Thinks he's a cool guy. Another reason to hate this mulatto nigger.

See Also

• Senator Obama
• Kenya
• Obamacare
• White guilt
• Dips Tobacco Redneck
• Reverend X
• ULTRANIGGER
• Jesus
• Rap

External Links

• Obama, the plastic crap edition!
• A conservative Michael Moore teaches us of the Obama conspiracy.
• The Assassination of Barack Obama art gallery
• Angry Barry: The Video Game
• Buy your Obama dildo here
• According to Wesburo ,Obama is Fag Enabler in chief.

Best trolling ever!

• WHAT THE FUCK HAS OBAMA DONE SO FAR??!!11

[WatermelonsFried Chicken]

Barack Obama is part of a series of topics related to Black People☻

Barack Obama is part of a series on Politics.

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