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{{breakingnews|[https://twitter.com/NBCNews/status/1461764452773240848 KYLE RITTENHOUSE ACQUITTED ON ALL CHARGES!]}}
[[File:Rittenhousewinning.jpg|thumb|Winnar]]
{{lollercoaster}}
{{Spoiler|THIS ARTICLE SUCKZ DICK}}
<br>
[[File:Rittenhousewinning.jpg|thumb|200px]]
[[File:Fatlock facepalms.jpg|thumb|200px|The only decent meme from the shitshow of a trial]]
[[File:Fatlock facepalms.jpg|thumb|200px|The only decent meme from the shitshow of a trial]]
'''Kyle Rittenhouse''', a.k.a. '''The Kenosha Kid''' is an awesomesauce humanitarian, Boy Scout, street medic, former junior police cadet, expert marksman, Grand Master-level shitlord, rosy-cheeked young man, all around good guy, Second Amendment fanboy, acquitted murder defendant, and epic slayer of Antifa-affiliated shithead felons and sex offenders in Kenosha, Wisconsin.


Like many a strapping, idealistic young American male, Kyle Rittenhouse was raised to be a helper. Unlike [[you]], he actually got off his ass and did something about the destruction of his country by leftist faggots and welfare recipients.
'''Kyle Rittenhouse''' a.k.a. '''The Kenosha Kid''' is a [[fat|plus-sized]] fucking idiot who nearly got himself killed or hit with a life sentence because he took it upon himself to intervene in a veritable warzone. The refusal and/or inability of the cops to do their fucking jobs led to an underaged vigilante picking up the slack. The fact that this later became a trial is solid proof that [[America|Dumbfuckistan]] is screwed.


On August 25, 2020, when Rittenhouse heard that a rampaging mob of niggers and Antifa deviants were on their way to downtown Kenosha, Wisconsin planning to loot and burn the property of hard-working business owners to avenge the entirely justified shooting of nigger criminal Jacob Blake, Kyle Rittenhouse grabbed his indispensable tool of red-blooded American manhood—his AR-15—and headed to Kenosha to protect the property of innocent people who didn’t deserve lose it all to a bunch of coddled niggers and faggots.
==Background==
Fueled by their insatiable thirst for black blood, police went after [[Nigger|Jacob Blake]] in Kenosha. They first shot him with multiple tasers, since all that electricity and squirming made his blood hot and fresh. The cops then shot him 7 times but still failed to kill him, demonstrating their complete incompetence. Because a black man didn’t get away with sexual and domestic assault, criminal trespassing, and trying to knife a cop, [[BLM]] and [[Cultural Marxists|their allies for social justice]] took this as proof that America is a fascist regime. After the [[Victim complex|much-beleaguered]] [[Liberal media|Fourth Estate]] broadcast such a [[Lie|truth]] across the country, of course. The passionate ‘Summer of [[Rape|Love]]’ would [[Whine|make their voices heard]] in Kenosha [[Zerg rush|en masse]].


After being attacked, chased, and threatened, Rittenhouse killed two Antifa faggots and blew the bicep off a third while doing an awesome ninja barrel roll and maintaining full control of his AR-15 throughout the maneuver—yes, firing off three shots each of which hit their targets while he was rolling.
{{videoframe|Vidyas|background-color: #FFFFFF;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube> https://youtu.be/K0DSTV7XT1E</youtube>
}}


Rittenhouse’s perfectly executed, reality-bending, Matrix-style killshots would be doubted by everyone except they were caught on video. Such a deft maneuver has never been equaled by anyone—fearsome warriors such as the Navy Seals, the Green Berets, and the U.S. Army’s Delta Force are absolute pikers compared to 17-year old Rittenhouse’s combat readiness and agility and operational ferocity in Kenosha.  
==Kenosha==
Like many a strapping, idealistic young American male, Kyle Rittenhouse was raised to help impose white supremacy. Unlike [[you]], however, he’d actually get off his ass and inform America of Aryan superiority by [[Gun|force]] rather by than whining on Twatter. Armed with a scrub brush made from the hair of dead black men, and the ubiquitous symbol of red-blooded White American manhood — an AR-15 — he would scrub away messages of black empowerment and protect capitalist institutions of exploitation. Unwilling to witness the sabotage of their fiery but [[Never|(mostly)]] peaceful [[Riots|protests]], 3 of their ranks decided to attack Kyle: '''[[Pedo|Joseph "JoJo" Rosenbaum]]'''{{jew}}, failed skateboarder '''Anthony "Choke that shiksa" Huber'''{{jew}} and '''[[Satanist|Gaige "Bye-Ceps" Grosskreutz]]''', now known as '''Paul Prediger'''. Joseph and Anthony were killed; and Gaige was [[Pun|disarmed]]. Most notably, the would-be paramedic's "Do Know Harm" tattoo was removed at record speed after Kyle did a ninja barrel roll and re-racked his rifle. It’s said that [[1337|special forces]] were humbled by his deft maneuvers and on-the-fly gun maintenance. For his slaying of two [[Jews|(((fellow whites)))]], [[Lie|Rittenhouse was a racist and an enemy of our democracy, values, and trans rites]].


Rittenhouse’s epic deeds elevated him instantly to the level of God Among Men, an Epic Hero equal to Achilles and Odysseus, a folk hero on the level of Paul Bunyan, a bringer of good news on the level of Jesus Christ, and a master of self rivaling the Buddha.  
{{videoframe|KyleRittenhouseKenosha||
|[[File:RittVid1.mov|360px]]
|[[File:RittVid2.mov|360px]]
}}


Unfortunately, America has been all but overtaken by cultural marxist faggotry. As such, prosecutors in Kenosha attempted to send Saint Kyle down the river for defending America from rampaging criminals, niggers, kikes and race-traitors. The odds were daunting. Indeed, Kyle faced off against half an entire country overtaken by cultural marxist brainwashing; this included their propaganda outlets, a demonstrably corrupted FBI, and the Biden regime itself. And yet, Kyle [[Win|WON]]! Biden’s attempts to sniff yet another minor were thwarted by the power of truth and (ironically) the prosecution’s incompetence. Such was the prosecution’s blundering that some suggested Saint Kyle expertly planted a mole in the demonic legions to ensure their defeat in court. Regardless, this American hero has been acquitted and freed to do what he does best: killing commies. Should we all be brave enough to follow his example.
==Response==
{{quote|1=We come together to mourn the lives lost to the same racist system that devalues Black lives and devalued the lives of Anthony and JoJo. #ReimagineKenosha|2=[https://mobile.twitter.com/markruffalo/status/1461807227476582407 Mark Ruffalo]|3=whose cutesy name for Rosenbaum actually means "jacking off"}}
The killings of a pedophile and wife beater must’ve been seen as a personal attack on leftoids, because they lost their fucking shit. [[Destiny]] was probably one of the only lefties who dissented and saw the case for what it actually was, causing much outrage among his comrades and damaging his career a bit. Even a broken clock is right twice a day. Marxist pedophile and former Destiny associate [[Vaush]] claimed Kyle was wrong by [[LOLWUT|citing fucking Marvel movies]]. The right would hail Kyle as a hero, probably because they were vicariously acting out their revenge fantasies that they're too gay to actually act on. They also would continuously cite the two dead guys' crimes as justification for their deaths, as if it wasn't a complete non-semetic [[coincidence]]. Life went on and people mostly forgot about the case after it was no longer trendy, until the trial began.
 
==Trial==
[[File:Kenosha judge Chad Kerkman x Kenosha prosecutor Thomas BINGER poopdicks.jpg|thumb|right|after a night of giving each other poopdick]]
 
The shitshow started on November 1, 2021. The prosecution was led by Thomas Binger aka Flufferboy2004, and assisted by James Kraus aka Fatlock. These [[Shit|accomplished]] prosecutors [https://www.revolver.news/2021/11/disbar-thomas-binger/ were perfect for] such a [[Stupid|sacred]] task. They had already forgotten Wisconsin gun laws, what the 2nd and 5th Amendment are, and that witness tampering is a crime. His main strategy was to hail literal criminals as heroes, while asking pointedly relevant questions like why Kyle would put out fires, how ''Call of Duty'' was connected to the subsequent events, ammo types, why he’d use GPS when traveling an alternate route, and God knows what else. He was also counting on the FBI to stay corrupt long enough to withhold additional exonerating video evidence of Kyle being threatened.
 
 
They then used blatantly manipulated drone footage, but this wouldn’t be enough to overcome a slippery defense team that had actual full-res videos confirming what anyone who wasn’t an avowed cultural marxist had known. So they pulled out their trump card: Gaige Grosskreutz, who had fallen on hard times and out of his chair following his indefinite hiatus from arm day. Their ace in the hole would end up admitting that he pointed a gun at Kyle and was only shot afterwards. Desperate to still gain an inkling of justice, efforts by MSNBC were made to persuade the jury to reach the right verdict. Alas, justice was most grievously miscarried and Kyle was fully acquitted. White privilege and the inept prosecution were to blame.
 
== Aftermath ==
The usual suspects expressed either joy or rage based on the outcome. Joe Biden snorted in anger as the chance to sniff yet another minor was denied to him. Marxoids everywhere feared that this meant open season on their chimpouts. These fears are unfortunately ill-founded, as they haven’t been deterred from doing moar chimpouts. [[Steven Colbert]] wanted the law changed. The dead criminals were martyred by the Left. [[Vaush]] gave his usual takes before consoling his fanbase for the fact that they wanted to be smug after the trial but couldn’t, and right wingers could. The man knows his audience. One nigger also ran over a bunch of innocent people in Waukesha in retaliation.
 
The Right was relieved by the outcome, heartened that the universal power structure let Kyle slip by to keep them docile. They made sure to constantly thank God for being in a world where video footage was possible. However, they were also wary that such an open and shut case escalated to this point and feared that the next Rittenhouse wouldn’t be so fortunate.
 
<center><youtube> https://youtu.be/3exv_vsG7nE</youtube></center>
 
Gaige Grosskreutz decided his newfound fame was just too much, and changed his name to '''Paul Prediger''' shortly before [https://archive.ph/KYWRJ#selection-1669.0-1669.109 snitching] on some urban youths who dindu nuffin except claim their reparations from Grosskreutz's ass by running him over.
{{quote|The accident left me with multiple broken bones, damage to my cervical spine, a lacerated liver, damaged teeth and severe road rash, resulting in an extended hospital stay and surgery with more procedures planned.
 
My determination to seek justice led me to gather evidence and provide it to the Milwaukee Police Department.}}
 
As for Rittenhouse himself, the fat fuck downed dozens of [[chicken tendies]] from McDonalds and vowed to become a lawyer so that he could go after prosecutors like Binger. Why he’d want to go after the Bingers of the world is unclear, since any defense attorney could win by simply letting them speak.


==Gallery==
==Gallery==
Line 27: Line 53:
File:Grosskreutz most lefties are born some are made.png|Gaige Grosskreutz
File:Grosskreutz most lefties are born some are made.png|Gaige Grosskreutz
File:Kyle floyd Crossover.jpeg|Binger BTFO'd
File:Kyle floyd Crossover.jpeg|Binger BTFO'd
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="6">
File:Rittenhousestand.png
File:Rittenhousestand.png
File:Rittdontquit.jpg|One thing’s for sure—the Ritt don’t quit  
File:Rittdontquit.jpg|One thing’s for sure—the Ritt don’t quit  
File:!!rittenhouse wipes away lebrons tears FEnElRtXEAUleem.jpg|Please don't cry, LeBron
File:!!rittenhouse wipes away lebrons tears FEnElRtXEAUleem.jpg|Please don't cry, LeBron
File:Rittenhouse vaporwave.png|Can't let the tree of liberty remain parched
File:Rittenhouse vaporwave.png
File: Gaige2.jpg
File: Gaige2.jpg
File:Virgin binger-no chad idk why.jpg
File:Virgin binger-no chad idk why.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="6">
File:Grosskreutz disco.mp4|Burn baby burn
File:Grosskreutz disco.mp4|Burn baby burn
File:Kenosha Kid.webm|Kenosha Kid
File:Kenosha Kid.webm|Kenosha Kid
File:Rittenhouse VOTN.mp4
File:Rittenhouse VOTN.mp4
File:Rosenbaum shoot me ngga okay UjkXB7Tclf5HmI37.mp4
File:rittenhousechallenge.jpg|One of many tributes to Rittenhouse
File:rittenhousechallenge.jpg|One of many tributes to Rittenhouse
File:allthreeshot.jpg|Good riddance to these guys.
File:allthreeshot.jpg|Good riddance to these guys.
Line 50: Line 77:
File: Gaige3.jpg
File: Gaige3.jpg
File:kylestatelines.jpg
File:kylestatelines.jpg
File:RittenhouseDredd.jpg|The proper response to [[Bawww|"he crossed state lines!"]]
File:Reddit last thing Rosenberg saw 1647800109289.png|''sic semper tyrannis''
</gallery>|border=black|color=white}}
</gallery>|border=black|color=white}}


==See also==
==See also==
*[[Antifa]]
*[[Antifa]]
*[[Racism]]
*[[Riots]]
*[[Riots]]
*[[Trayvon Martin|George Zimmerman]] - Also not guilty or white.
*[[Wisconsin]]
*[[Wisconsin]]
*[[Waukesha Parade Attack]] - A butthurt black nationalist mowed down a Christmas parade in retaliation for the acquittal
{{High Scores}}
{{Gun control}}


[[Category:People|Rittenhouse, Kyle]]
[[Category:People|Rittenhouse, Kyle]]
[[Category:2020]]
[[Category:2021]]

Latest revision as of 15:23, 10 November 2024

Winnar
The only decent meme from the shitshow of a trial

Kyle Rittenhouse a.k.a. The Kenosha Kid is a plus-sized fucking idiot who nearly got himself killed or hit with a life sentence because he took it upon himself to intervene in a veritable warzone. The refusal and/or inability of the cops to do their fucking jobs led to an underaged vigilante picking up the slack. The fact that this later became a trial is solid proof that Dumbfuckistan is screwed.

Background

Fueled by their insatiable thirst for black blood, police went after Jacob Blake in Kenosha. They first shot him with multiple tasers, since all that electricity and squirming made his blood hot and fresh. The cops then shot him 7 times but still failed to kill him, demonstrating their complete incompetence. Because a black man didn’t get away with sexual and domestic assault, criminal trespassing, and trying to knife a cop, BLM and their allies for social justice took this as proof that America is a fascist regime. After the much-beleaguered Fourth Estate broadcast such a truth across the country, of course. The passionate ‘Summer of Love’ would make their voices heard in Kenosha en masse.

Kenosha

Like many a strapping, idealistic young American male, Kyle Rittenhouse was raised to help impose white supremacy. Unlike you, however, he’d actually get off his ass and inform America of Aryan superiority by force rather by than whining on Twatter. Armed with a scrub brush made from the hair of dead black men, and the ubiquitous symbol of red-blooded White American manhood — an AR-15 — he would scrub away messages of black empowerment and protect capitalist institutions of exploitation. Unwilling to witness the sabotage of their fiery but (mostly) peaceful protests, 3 of their ranks decided to attack Kyle: Joseph "JoJo" Rosenbaum, failed skateboarder Anthony "Choke that shiksa" Huber and Gaige "Bye-Ceps" Grosskreutz, now known as Paul Prediger. Joseph and Anthony were killed; and Gaige was disarmed. Most notably, the would-be paramedic's "Do Know Harm" tattoo was removed at record speed after Kyle did a ninja barrel roll and re-racked his rifle. It’s said that special forces were humbled by his deft maneuvers and on-the-fly gun maintenance. For his slaying of two (((fellow whites))), Rittenhouse was a racist and an enemy of our democracy, values, and trans rites.

Response

   
 
We come together to mourn the lives lost to the same racist system that devalues Black lives and devalued the lives of Anthony and JoJo. #ReimagineKenosha
 

 
 

Mark Ruffalo, whose cutesy name for Rosenbaum actually means "jacking off"

The killings of a pedophile and wife beater must’ve been seen as a personal attack on leftoids, because they lost their fucking shit. Destiny was probably one of the only lefties who dissented and saw the case for what it actually was, causing much outrage among his comrades and damaging his career a bit. Even a broken clock is right twice a day. Marxist pedophile and former Destiny associate Vaush claimed Kyle was wrong by citing fucking Marvel movies. The right would hail Kyle as a hero, probably because they were vicariously acting out their revenge fantasies that they're too gay to actually act on. They also would continuously cite the two dead guys' crimes as justification for their deaths, as if it wasn't a complete non-semetic coincidence. Life went on and people mostly forgot about the case after it was no longer trendy, until the trial began.

Trial

after a night of giving each other poopdick

The shitshow started on November 1, 2021. The prosecution was led by Thomas Binger aka Flufferboy2004, and assisted by James Kraus aka Fatlock. These accomplished prosecutors were perfect for such a sacred task. They had already forgotten Wisconsin gun laws, what the 2nd and 5th Amendment are, and that witness tampering is a crime. His main strategy was to hail literal criminals as heroes, while asking pointedly relevant questions like why Kyle would put out fires, how Call of Duty was connected to the subsequent events, ammo types, why he’d use GPS when traveling an alternate route, and God knows what else. He was also counting on the FBI to stay corrupt long enough to withhold additional exonerating video evidence of Kyle being threatened.


They then used blatantly manipulated drone footage, but this wouldn’t be enough to overcome a slippery defense team that had actual full-res videos confirming what anyone who wasn’t an avowed cultural marxist had known. So they pulled out their trump card: Gaige Grosskreutz, who had fallen on hard times and out of his chair following his indefinite hiatus from arm day. Their ace in the hole would end up admitting that he pointed a gun at Kyle and was only shot afterwards. Desperate to still gain an inkling of justice, efforts by MSNBC were made to persuade the jury to reach the right verdict. Alas, justice was most grievously miscarried and Kyle was fully acquitted. White privilege and the inept prosecution were to blame.

Aftermath

The usual suspects expressed either joy or rage based on the outcome. Joe Biden snorted in anger as the chance to sniff yet another minor was denied to him. Marxoids everywhere feared that this meant open season on their chimpouts. These fears are unfortunately ill-founded, as they haven’t been deterred from doing moar chimpouts. Steven Colbert wanted the law changed. The dead criminals were martyred by the Left. Vaush gave his usual takes before consoling his fanbase for the fact that they wanted to be smug after the trial but couldn’t, and right wingers could. The man knows his audience. One nigger also ran over a bunch of innocent people in Waukesha in retaliation.

The Right was relieved by the outcome, heartened that the universal power structure let Kyle slip by to keep them docile. They made sure to constantly thank God for being in a world where video footage was possible. However, they were also wary that such an open and shut case escalated to this point and feared that the next Rittenhouse wouldn’t be so fortunate.

Gaige Grosskreutz decided his newfound fame was just too much, and changed his name to Paul Prediger shortly before snitching on some urban youths who dindu nuffin except claim their reparations from Grosskreutz's ass by running him over.

   
 
The accident left me with multiple broken bones, damage to my cervical spine, a lacerated liver, damaged teeth and severe road rash, resulting in an extended hospital stay and surgery with more procedures planned.

My determination to seek justice led me to gather evidence and provide it to the Milwaukee Police Department.
 


 
 

As for Rittenhouse himself, the fat fuck downed dozens of chicken tendies from McDonalds and vowed to become a lawyer so that he could go after prosecutors like Binger. Why he’d want to go after the Bingers of the world is unclear, since any defense attorney could win by simply letting them speak.

Gallery

Gallery of not guilty About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See also



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