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{{stub}}
{{Hell}}
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{{an police hero|[[File:Huberty Corpse.png|200px|link=]]}}
{{ib|[[File:James_Huberty.jpg|250px]]}}
{{ib|[[File:James_Huberty.jpg|250px]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''James Oliver Huberty'''</big>}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''James Oliver Huberty'''</big>}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Americans]]&nbsp;&nbsp;[[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Born'''|October 11, 1942}}
{{Ibrow|'''Occupation'''|Food Critic}}
{{Ibrow|'''Died'''|July 18, 1984 (aged 41)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Americunt]]&nbsp;&nbsp;[[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Occupation'''|Food critic}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|Killed 21, injured 19}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|Killed 21, injured 19}}
{{Ibrow|'''Top 50?'''|{{highscorelist}}}}
{{Ibrow|'''Top 50?'''|{{highscorelist}}}}
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|FPS, Single player}}
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|FPS, Single player}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|No (Sniped) }}
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|No (Sniped)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Motive'''|[[Patrick Crusius|Taco removalism]]}}
{{Ibend}}
{{Ibend}}


{{quote|Society had its chance}}
{{quote|Society had its chance}}


'''James Oliver Huberty''' (born October 11, 1942) was the lulziest high score holder of the [[1980]]'s and the [[survivalist]] who perpetrated the San Ysidro McDonald's massacre on July 18th, 1984. The massacre resulted in the death of twenty-one useless spics and illegals and wounded nineteen more beaners before he was [[pwn|pwn3d]] by a sniper.
'''James Oliver Huberty''' (born October 11, 1942) was the [[Woo Bum-kon|third]] [[Campo Elías Delgado|lulziest]] high score holder of the [[1980s]] and the [[survivalist]] who perpetrated the San Ysidro McDonald's massacre on July 18th, 1984. The massacre resulted in the deaths of twenty-one useless spics and illegals and wounded nineteen more beaners before he was [[pwn|pwn3d]] by a sniper.


==Background==
==Background==
Born in Canton, Ohio, on October 11, 1942, Huberty contracted polio when he was three years old, which left him with [[cripple|permanent difficulty walking]]. In the early 1950s, his [[mom|mother]] left him upon refusing to move into the Pennsylvania [[Amish]] Country after his father Earl purchased a farm there, and he has since been withdrawn; a minister later claimed that Huberty "blamed God" for taking his mother away from him. In his early adulthood, Huberty gained an interest in firearms and began using them. In 1962, he attended Malone College, a Jesuit community college, where he earned a bachelor's degree in sociology, and also gained a license for embalming after attending the Pittsburgh Institute of Mortuary Science, although he did not pursue a job as an embalmer altogether. At the institute, he met a woman named Etna and married her in 1965. Having two daughters, Zelia and Cassandra, together, Huberty and Etna moved the family to Massillon, Ohio, where the former found work as a funeral home undertaker but also had to hold down a number of other jobs that he lost quickly. The family then moved to Huberty's hometown of Canton after a fire completely demolished their residence where he became a welder. Huberty and Etna had a history of [[domestic violence]], and both also displayed signs of violent behavior: Etna attempted to instruct Zelia to physically assault a classmate during a birthday party and then later threatened the same classmate's mother with a 9mm pistol (being subsequently arrested for the act, but the pistol wasn't confiscated), while Huberty threatened to shoot a neighbor's dog after it [[shit|defecated]] on his lawn and also killed his own dog in a separate incident after a neighbor complained about it damaging his vehicle. As the result of several run-ins with Huberty and Etna, local police knew the family well.
Born in Canton, Ohio, on October 11, 1942, Huberty [[Thanks Obama|contracted polio when he was three years old]], which left him with [[cripple|permanent difficulty walking]]. His [[mom|mother]] orphaned his ass, refusing to move into the Pennsylvania [[Amish]] Country after his father purchased a farm there, making James grow up in a shithole Amish community where he was constantly being bullied by children cosplaying as the Quaker Oats guy. A minister later claimed that Huberty [[Atheism|"blamed God"]] for taking his mother away from him. In his early adulthood, Huberty attended a Christfag community college, where he earned a bachelor's degree in sociology, and also gained a license for embalming after attending the Pittsburgh Institute of Mortuary Science, [[Loser|although he did not pursue a job as an embalmer altogether]]. At the institute, he met a woman named Etna and married her. Huberty and Etna had a history of [[domestic violence]], it rubbing off on his children so much his little shits would attack other lolis in the neighborhood. Huberty threatened to shoot a neighbor's dog after it [[shit|defecated]] on his lawn and also killed his own dog in a separate incident after a neighbor complained about it fucking with his vehicle.


Huberty began to develop beliefs that [[Jews|foreign bankers]] were manipulating the [[Federal Reserve|Federal Reserve System]], [[truth|intentionally]] bankrupting the U.S., and breaking down society; he also blamed the failures of numerous businesses and [[Soviet]] aggression for the increasingly strict federal government regulations. As a result, he became a survivalist, purchasing thousands of dollars of non-perishable food and six firearms as preparations. He also threatened to shoot random people if he was fired from his job. At one point, after getting another job but then losing it shortly afterward, he attempted to commit [[an hero|suicide]], but Etna stopped him. In September 1983, Huberty became involved in a motorcycle accident that left his right arm twitching uncontrollably after lingering damage caused by his childhood polio was aggravated by the incident. As a result, he was forced to resign from his occupation as a welder. He later experienced legal problems after a botched sale of a six-unit apartment complex in Canton, when a real-estate company that previously made a generous offer on the property later allegedly reneged on its part of the deal. Presumably, in response to the motorcycle accident, the family moved to Tijuana, Mexico, in January 1984, but then later moved to San Diego, California, specifically in the San Ysidro neighborhood due to the fact that he didn't fit well with spics. There, Huberty became a security guard, only to be dismissed two weeks prior to the massacre. James came to realize that his life was going to go nowhere, and that is when he knew that it was his destiny to achieve the golden ipod.
Huberty began to develop beliefs that [[Jews|foreign bankers]] were manipulating the [[Federal Reserve|Federal Reserve System]], [[truth|intentionally]] bankrupting the U.S., and breaking down society; he also blamed the failures of numerous businesses and [[Soviet]] aggression for the increasingly strict federal government regulations. As a result, he went full prepper and started stockpiling shit for the coming [[Reagan|Reaganomics]] collapse. At one point, after getting another job but then losing it shortly afterward, he attempted to commit [[an hero|suicide]], but Etna stopped him. In September 1983, Huberty became involved in a motorcycle accident that FUBAR'd him, eventually leading to him and his tribe packing their shit and moving to the Mexican-infested sinkhole of [[San Diego]], California, specifically in the San Ysidro neighborhood due to the fact that he didn't fit well with [[spics]]. Seeing that San Diego isn't the jacking capital as [[South Park]] had portrayed, James came to realize that his life was going to go nowhere, and that is when he knew that it was his destiny to achieve the [[high score]].
==Post-Gameplay Footage==
<center><youtube>EmDmCn4-4vc</youtube></center>


==The Day of the Massacre==
==The Day of the Massacre==
[[File:Huberty Corpse.png|thumb|none|Handcuffs just in case]]
[[File:Huberty Corpse.png|thumb|left|Handcuffs just in case]]
The day prior to the massacre, Huberty decided in a last-minute effort to get somewhere in life by getting help from a mental health center, but the retarded spanish speaking accountant misread his name as Shouberty. After a good old day at the San Diego zoo, Huberty grabbed his guns, kissed his wife and two daughters, and began his quest to achieve the golden ipod. Before leaving, he told Etna that he was "hunting humans" when she questioned his departure. During her interrogation, Etna provided no explanation as to why she didn't think of reporting her husband. She also cited the failed real-estate deal in Canton regarding the apartment complex as the primary motivator for the massacre. After visiting a Big Bear supermarket and a post office, apparently searching for locations to commit his massacre, Huberty then decided to choose the San Ysidro McDonald's restaurant as his target. As he walked down San Ysidro Boulevard with his guns in plain sight, a witness spotted them and called the [[police]], but accidentally gave them the wrong address. Meanwhile, Huberty walked into the restaurant at around 3:40 p.m. and ordered everyone inside to lie down. When they did, he opened fire on them, injuring and/or killing many. He then methodically executed any who survived before firing at people as they fled and then those in the parking lot. During the shooting, he would shout that he had killed thousands more prior.
[[File:James-huberty-san-ysidro-mcdonalds-perpetrator-after-being-v0-b6eakmrgloia1.jpg|thumb]]
Into the shooting, then-patrol officer Miguel Rosario arrived on the scene at 4:07 p.m., believing the incident to be accidental. He witnessed Huberty walk outside with his Uzi in his hand; Huberty promptly opened fire on the officer, shattering the car's windscreen and emergency lights and forcing him behind a parked pickup truck. Rosario refused to return fire, believing that Huberty had accomplices that would back him up. So, he called for a Code 10 to send in [[SWAT]], then a Code 11 to "send in everybody". When SWAT arrived, Huberty fled back inside the restaurant and a standoff ensued; six blocks encompassing the McDonald's were closed off as a result. The officers readied themselves with the special equipment in their squad cars as reporter Monica Zech reported on the progressing events from the view of a small airplane flying overhead. The nearby Interstate 5 highway and Tijuana border crossing were forced to be closed down for the day, as both were right in the line of Huberty's fire. Finally, a sniper named Chuck Foster positioned himself at a post office south from the McDonald's restaurant and was able to get a good shot at Huberty, who was near a counter. At around 5:16 p.m., Foster fired one shot that pierced through a glass window and hit Huberty in the heart, killing him instantly. The entire event lasted for a total of 77 minutes, and when authorities entered the restaurant, they found 21 dead bodies, along with an additional 19 injured victims. A total of [[At least 100|257 bullets]] were fired by Huberty during the massacre.  
[[File:Dead McDonalds Baby.png|thumb|[[Offended?|dead baby lol]]]]
The day prior to the massacre, Huberty decided in a last-minute effort to get somewhere in life by getting help from a mental health center, but the retarded [[Spanish]]-speaking accountant misread his name as Shouberty. After a good old day at the San Diego Zoo, Huberty grabbed his guns, kissed his wife and two daughters, and began his quest to achieve the [[High Score]]. Before leaving, he told Etna that he was "hunting humans" when she questioned his departure. He was originally going to [[Payton Gendron|shoot up a supermarket]] and a [[Going postal|post office]], apparently searching for locations to commit his massacre, but then Huberty decided to choose the [[Taco Bell|San Ysidro McDonald's restaurant]] as his target as he realized the growing obesity epidemic wouldn't kill spics fast enough. Walking into the establishment, he put on the '''{{ytlink|GDFaEBjA7PU|American national anthem}}''' before aiming his shotgun at an underpaid spic worker, then having it jam, which caused James to pull out his Level 99 [[Gun|Uzi]] with a Bane of Wetbacks enchantment, doing 20% more critical damage to Hispanics.


==Graded Score==
The scene was a [[Doom]] style bloodbath, with not even the Ronald McDonald statue outside dressed as a cholo and covered in graffiti being spared. James shot fucking everything, including babies and old people, exploding Big Macs and managing to get the ice cream machine to work with a 9mm. James was allowed to shoot up the joint for [[Jesus Fucking Christ|77 minutes]] because the stupid-ass pigs [[Fail|sent the party van to the wrong McDonald's]]. Somehow not noticing the building being turned into a warzone, Mexicans in the area tried to get their daily hamburguesas but ended up being pwned while walking into the restaurant or just so much as walking by. When SWAT arrived, Huberty fled his Yakubian ass back inside the restaurant and a standoff ensued, with trade-offs of hostages for Quarter Pounders.  Finally, a sniper positioned himself on the roof of a post office south from the McDonald's restaurant and noscoped James right through the heart, killing him. The entire event lasted for a total of 77 minutes, and when authorities entered the restaurant, they found 21 dead spics, along with an additional 19 injured victims still gorging themselves on fast food. A total of [[At least 100|257]] bullets were fired by Huberty during the massacre. To add insult to injury, after the shooting, [[LOLWUT|his wife sued McDonald's, claiming their nuggets made James go schizo]].
{| style="{{roundy|18px}}{{gradlinear|red|orange}}box-shadow:0 3px 6px gray;padding:1em;margin:0 auto 1em auto;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="2" border="0"
 
|-
 
! colspan="2" style="{{roundy|9px}}background-color:red;box-shadow:0 3px 6px orange;" | <big>Graded score</big>
 
|-
 
| colspan="2" style="height:9px;overflow:hidden;" |
 
 
<center><big>In an alternate universe...</big></center>
<center><youtube>hlzm7-gvTRg</youtube></center>
 
== Loadout ==
{|class="wikitable" width="40%" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; border: none;"
!colspan="2"|Class Setup
|-
|-
! style="text-align:right;" | Kill count:
!Item
|21/20
!Accessories/Bonus
|-
|-
! style="text-align:right;vertical-align:top;" | Accuracy:
|
|11/20 21 killed, 19 injured.
*'''Primary''': Uzi
<center>[[Image:GTA4IconsUZIStockless.png|140px]]</center>
|
*James's solution to illegal immigration. Extended barrel for improved accuracy. '''25~45 Damage.'''
|-
|-
! style="text-align:right;" | Style:
|
|18/20 ''Shot anything that even dared to move''  
*'''Secondary''': Browning HP
<center>[[Image:GTA4Icons1911.png |140px]]</center>
|
*Pistol, fine piece of Belgian engineering. '''20~35 Damage.
|-
|-
! style="text-align:right;" | Butthurt:
|
|20/20 ''Deadliest mass shooting in American history during the 1980s.''
*'''Tertiary''':  Winchester 1200 pump-action shotgun
<center>[[Image:GTA4IconsRem870Sawed.png|140px]]</center>
|
*Basic shotgun, good for a large crowd. '''50~125 Damage.
|-
|-
! style="text-align:right;vertical-align:top;" | Bonus:
|
|19/20 ''Took away the high score away from [[Charles Whitman]]''
*'''Perk 1''': Hatred of Spics
<center>[[File:Crying Mexican Cowboy.jpg|90px]]</center>
|
*Racism + Schizophrenia = More damage.
|-
|-
! colspan="2" style="{{roundy|9px}}background-color:orange;box-shadow:0 3px 6px yellow;" | <big>Total score: 89/100 ('''B+''')</big>
|
*'''Perk 2''': Proto-Tarrant Disciple
<center>[[File:Brenton Tarrant icon.png|75px]]</center>
|
*Being the first racially motivated mass shooter grants James with the Proto-Tarrant Disciple perk.'''
|}
|}


<center>'''I'm lovin it.'''</center>
 
==Graded Score==
{{GradedScore|'''21'''|[[McDonald's|I'm lovin' it]]|11|21 killed, 19 injured|18|Shot anything that even dared to move|20|Deadliest mass shooting in American history during the 1980s|19|Took the high score away from [[Charles Whitman]]|89|B|<s>YOU BEAT THE HIGH SCORE</s> [[George Hennard|A NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS]]}}


{{Wanted|4}}
{{Wanted|4}}


==See Also==
*Subsequent American champions
**[[George Hennard]]
**[[Cho Seung-Hui]]
**[[Omar Mateen]]
**[[Stephen Paddock]]
==External Links==
*{{Wikilink|San_Ysidro_McDonald's_massacre|TOW coverage}}
{{Brenton Tarrant}}
{{Gun control}}
{{High Scores}}
{{High Scores}}
{{Psychopaths}}
{{Psychopaths}}
{{gun control}}
[[Category:California]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:People]]

Latest revision as of 19:36, 9 September 2025

This article has been cleaned up, and it was a trip to hell and back. Please, don't fuck it up.
Lose an iPod to the pigs?

This page contains an police hero.
James Oliver Huberty
Born October 11, 1942
Died July 18, 1984 (aged 41)
Nationality: Americunt  
Occupation Food critic
Highscore Killed 21, injured 19
Top 50? 29th
Style FPS, Single player
An Hero? No (Sniped)
Motive Taco removalism


   
 
Society had its chance
 

 
 

James Oliver Huberty (born October 11, 1942) was the third lulziest high score holder of the 1980s and the survivalist who perpetrated the San Ysidro McDonald's massacre on July 18th, 1984. The massacre resulted in the deaths of twenty-one useless spics and illegals and wounded nineteen more beaners before he was pwn3d by a sniper.

Background

Born in Canton, Ohio, on October 11, 1942, Huberty contracted polio when he was three years old, which left him with permanent difficulty walking. His mother orphaned his ass, refusing to move into the Pennsylvania Amish Country after his father purchased a farm there, making James grow up in a shithole Amish community where he was constantly being bullied by children cosplaying as the Quaker Oats guy. A minister later claimed that Huberty "blamed God" for taking his mother away from him. In his early adulthood, Huberty attended a Christfag community college, where he earned a bachelor's degree in sociology, and also gained a license for embalming after attending the Pittsburgh Institute of Mortuary Science, although he did not pursue a job as an embalmer altogether. At the institute, he met a woman named Etna and married her. Huberty and Etna had a history of domestic violence, it rubbing off on his children so much his little shits would attack other lolis in the neighborhood. Huberty threatened to shoot a neighbor's dog after it defecated on his lawn and also killed his own dog in a separate incident after a neighbor complained about it fucking with his vehicle.

Huberty began to develop beliefs that foreign bankers were manipulating the Federal Reserve System, intentionally bankrupting the U.S., and breaking down society; he also blamed the failures of numerous businesses and Soviet aggression for the increasingly strict federal government regulations. As a result, he went full prepper and started stockpiling shit for the coming Reaganomics collapse. At one point, after getting another job but then losing it shortly afterward, he attempted to commit suicide, but Etna stopped him. In September 1983, Huberty became involved in a motorcycle accident that FUBAR'd him, eventually leading to him and his tribe packing their shit and moving to the Mexican-infested sinkhole of San Diego, California, specifically in the San Ysidro neighborhood due to the fact that he didn't fit well with spics. Seeing that San Diego isn't the jacking capital as South Park had portrayed, James came to realize that his life was going to go nowhere, and that is when he knew that it was his destiny to achieve the high score.

Post-Gameplay Footage

The Day of the Massacre

Handcuffs just in case
dead baby lol

The day prior to the massacre, Huberty decided in a last-minute effort to get somewhere in life by getting help from a mental health center, but the retarded Spanish-speaking accountant misread his name as Shouberty. After a good old day at the San Diego Zoo, Huberty grabbed his guns, kissed his wife and two daughters, and began his quest to achieve the High Score. Before leaving, he told Etna that he was "hunting humans" when she questioned his departure. He was originally going to shoot up a supermarket and a post office, apparently searching for locations to commit his massacre, but then Huberty decided to choose the San Ysidro McDonald's restaurant as his target as he realized the growing obesity epidemic wouldn't kill spics fast enough. Walking into the establishment, he put on the American national anthem before aiming his shotgun at an underpaid spic worker, then having it jam, which caused James to pull out his Level 99 Uzi with a Bane of Wetbacks enchantment, doing 20% more critical damage to Hispanics.

The scene was a Doom style bloodbath, with not even the Ronald McDonald statue outside dressed as a cholo and covered in graffiti being spared. James shot fucking everything, including babies and old people, exploding Big Macs and managing to get the ice cream machine to work with a 9mm. James was allowed to shoot up the joint for 77 minutes because the stupid-ass pigs sent the party van to the wrong McDonald's. Somehow not noticing the building being turned into a warzone, Mexicans in the area tried to get their daily hamburguesas but ended up being pwned while walking into the restaurant or just so much as walking by. When SWAT arrived, Huberty fled his Yakubian ass back inside the restaurant and a standoff ensued, with trade-offs of hostages for Quarter Pounders. Finally, a sniper positioned himself on the roof of a post office south from the McDonald's restaurant and noscoped James right through the heart, killing him. The entire event lasted for a total of 77 minutes, and when authorities entered the restaurant, they found 21 dead spics, along with an additional 19 injured victims still gorging themselves on fast food. A total of 257 bullets were fired by Huberty during the massacre. To add insult to injury, after the shooting, his wife sued McDonald's, claiming their nuggets made James go schizo.




In an alternate universe...

Loadout

Class Setup
Item Accessories/Bonus
  • Primary: Uzi
  • James's solution to illegal immigration. Extended barrel for improved accuracy. 25~45 Damage.
  • Secondary: Browning HP
  • Pistol, fine piece of Belgian engineering. 20~35 Damage.
  • Tertiary: Winchester 1200 pump-action shotgun
  • Basic shotgun, good for a large crowd. 50~125 Damage.
  • Perk 1: Hatred of Spics
  • Racism + Schizophrenia = More damage.
  • Perk 2: Proto-Tarrant Disciple
  • Being the first racially motivated mass shooter grants James with the Proto-Tarrant Disciple perk.


Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count: 21/20 I'm lovin' it
Accuracy: 11/20 21 killed, 19 injured
Style: 18/20 Shot anything that even dared to move
Butthurt: 20/20 Deadliest mass shooting in American history during the 1980s
Bonus: 19/20 Took the high score away from Charles Whitman
Total Score: 89/100 (B)
YOU BEAT THE HIGH SCORE A NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS
See full ranking


Wanted Level:

Federal Bureau of Investigation


See Also

James Huberty
is part of a series on
Brenton Tarrant

Saint Brenton Tarrant
Disciples Vincent FullerJohn EarnestPatrick CrusiusPhilip ManshausStephan BallietSingaporean AnonNathaniel VeltmanHugo JacksonLaaiti EkenstéenPayton GendronJuraj KrajčíkAnderson Lee AldrichRyan PalmeterJordan PattenArda KüçükyetimNatalie RupnowSolomon HendersonMaiOwen LawrenceT.H.Robin WestmanErick NescioMuhammad Nazriel Fadhel HidayatTimofey K.
Electee Otoya YamaguchiPetter KyvikJames HubertyPatrick PurdyBaruch GoldsteinTimothy McVeighJosué EstébanezAnders Behring BreivikWade Michael PageDylann Storm RoofAnton Lundin PetterssonAli David SonbolyAlexandre BissonnetteDarren OsborneLuca TrainiRobert Bowers
See Also 8chanAustralian ShitposterCandace OwensFacebookFortniteGökmen TanisPewDiePieRemove KebabSpyro the DragonSri Lanka 2019 Terrorist AttacksTarrantulas
[Stop shooting!Pull the trigger]
James Huberty is part of a series on Gun Control
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James Huberty is part of a series on Are You Ready? [GAME OVERInsert Coin] Go!
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James Huberty is part of a series on Psychopaths
[It rubs the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose againOpen the box]
Spree/One-time Killers:

Aaron AlexisAdam LanzaAlex HribalAlyssa BustamanteAnthony WarnerAudrey HaleBruce Jeffrey PardoCasey AnthonyCho Seung-HuiDevin Patrick KelleyDylan KleboldDylann Storm RoofEric HarrisGerry McCannJames HolmesJared Lee LoughnerJason RodriguezJeff WeiseJiverly Voong Joe StackJosef FritzlLaaiti EkenstéenMark EssexMartin BryantMatthew de GroodMatthew MurrayMatti SaariMaurice ClemmonsNicholas ProsperPekka-Eric AuvinenPeter ScullyRaoul MoatRichard SpeckRobert HawkinsStephen PaddockTim KretschmerTimothy HendronTJ LaneTyler PetersonWade Michael PageWoo Bum-kon

Career/Serial Killers:

Academy ManiacsAdolf HitlerCharles MansonChris BenoitDnepropetrovsk ManiacsDubyaJack the RipperJeffrey DahmerMao ZedongRichard "The Iceman" KuklinskiTed Bundy

Terrorists:

Al QaedaAnders Behring BreivikAnderson Lee AldrichAnton Lundin PetterssonDzhokhar TsarnaevElliot RodgerGeorge SodiniManiacs Murder CultMark EssexNidal Malik HasanOsama bin LadenTamerlan TsarnaevTed Kaczynski

See also:

Antisocial personality disorderJewsMurderParanoid personality disorderPittsburgh Paint JobPolice BrutalitySick fuck