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Kurt Eichenbald: Difference between revisions
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{{天|1=<div style="text-align:left;padding:10px;"> | |||
<big><b><font color="#FFFFFF">WARNING:</font></b></big> | |||
<b><font color="#FFFFFF">With Paedojews,</font> <u>[[13-year-old boys|{{colortext|#FFFFFF|13-year-old boys}}]]</u> <font color="#FFFFFF">lose (their virginity)!</font></b></div>|2=Jewsyoulose.jpg|3=100px|4=#ff0000|5=320px|6=0px|7=2px solid Black|8=0px}} | |||
[[File:EichenwaldAnimuPillow.png|thumb|Kurt Alexander Eichenwald, a true [[Weeb|man of culture]].]] | |||
[[File:InternetResearch.jpg|thumb|No, Kurt, looking at [[kiddie porn]] is not "research".]] | |||
{{quote|On Friday, I almost assaulted a fan of my work.|Kurt Eichenwald (circa 2016), aka That Fat Old Bald Guy "almost assault(ing)" (i.e. Kurt was afraid this dude would kick his bloated ass, so he used the loser internet words [https://www.newsweek.com/myths-cost-democrats-presidential-election-521044 "you're lucky"]) to the last "fan" of his work before he got fired from everything.}} | |||
'''Kurt Alexander Eichenwald'''{{jew}} is a [[Rage|hate-filled]] {{Age|1961|6|28}}-year-old [[paedophile]], [[dox]]er, [[cyber bully]], [[tentacle]] [[hentai]] [[Sick fuck|connoisseur]] and distinguished [[lolcow]] who can usually be found posing as a "''[[Fake News|journalist]]''" in an attempt to groom [[teenage]] [[boy]]s into sending him [[n00dz]] and/or having [[DO NOT WANT|hot]] unprotected [[pederast]] [[buttsecks]]. Aside from being a [[Cunt|contemptible person]], Eichenwald is also a [[Fugly|hideously unattractive]], [[bald]]ing, [[Jew]]-faced goblin who usually sets his profile photos to the middle-aged male equivalent of the [[Fat Girl Angle Shot]] and attempts to hide his blatant Jewiness by claiming to be "''[[Equestrian|Episcopalian]]''" when he isn't busy [[BAWWWWW]]ing over how his relatives [[Jewish|somehow]] ended up in [[Literally Hitler|Rosanne Barr]]'s Easy-Bake Oven. | |||
Eichenwald's antics have included paying a [[child porn]]ographer several thousand dollars for [[CP|who-knows-what]], reviewing his own shitty [[books]] on [[Amazon]], getting a man [[arrested]] for sending him a [[seizure]]-inducing .gif that he was [[Fucktarded|dumb enough to actually click on]], getting caught looking at [[hentai]] and then claiming that [[LOLWUT|he and his kids just wanted to show his wife]] that [[Captain Obvious|tentacle porn exists]], [[doxing]] an [[Oregon]] lawmaker and mocking a survivor of the [[Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting]] because they didn't support [[gun control]], and threatening to [[sue]] anyone who even makes mention of his aforementioned [[Sick fuck|paedophilic attraction to young boys]] and excellent taste in [[Japanese]] [[cartoon]] [[pornography]]. | |||
Kurt was formerly employed by ''[[The New York Times]]'', ''Newsweek'', ''[[MSNBC]]'', ''Vanity Fair'' and a [[child porn]] site called ''Justin's Friends'' – although it appears that he has now been [[fired]] from every single fucking one of them for being an even bigger piece of dog shit than [[Brian Zaiger]]. You can help Kurt out by sending him all of the horrible [[job]] offers you have that even [[DACA|the border-hopping Mexican illegals]] weren't willing to accept. | |||
__TOC__ | |||
{{clear}} | |||
== The Dork Knight Rises == | |||
[[File:MiniMe.jpg|thumb|250px|What Kurt Eichenwald probably looked like at the age of 8.]] | |||
'''Kurt Alexander Eichenwald'''{{jew}} was tragically [[Abortion|born]] [[Bald|without hair]] on [[at least 100 years ago|June 28, 1961]], to Jewish father '''Heinz Felix Eichenwald'''{{jew}} and slightly less [[Obnoxious|Jewish mother]] '''Elva Catherine Eichenwald'''{{jew}} in the fine land of [[9/11|aeroplanes that collide into tall buildings]], [[New York]]. While attending [[college]] at Swarthmore, Eichenwald accidentally hit his bald head and sustained a [[Lobotomy|concussion]]—presumably while trying to peep on the boys' locker room—which caused him to contract the horrible [[seizure]] disease known as [[epilepsy]] and soon got him kicked out of school after his teachers came to the conclusion that his seizures were the direct result of him being possessed by [[Jewish]] [[Satan]] like that crazy bitch from ''[[The Exorcist]]''. | |||
{{quote|After I arrived back home, my dismissal triggered an intense rage. I screamed at my family, my friends, sometimes at myself on my tape recordings. The explosion of anger was so strong that all of us worried that I was losing my sanity.|Kurt's [[sperg]]rage begins to manifest itself {{archive|20180401181314/https://www.nytimes.com/1987/01/11/magazine/braving-epilepsy-s-storm.html<!--8JSkD-->}}}} | |||
<center><gallery> | |||
File:HeinzEichenwald.jpg|Heinz Felix Eichenwald, [[George Soros]]' bastard son. | |||
File:ElvaEichenwald.JPG|[[Elvis|Elva Catherine Eichenwald]] (née McDonald), also [[George Soros]]' bastard son. | |||
</gallery></center> | |||
{{quote|By December, I learned that I could not be dismissed from school because of my health under section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973, which provides rights to the handicapped. With advice from the Government's Health and Human Services, my family and I contacted school officials and lawyers to get me back to school.|Swarthmore gives in to the demands of [[terrorists]] {{archive|20180401181314/https://www.nytimes.com/1987/01/11/magazine/braving-epilepsy-s-storm.html<!--8JSkD-->}}}} | |||
== A Boy and His Jew == | |||
[[File:Eichenwald2000.jpg|thumb|Eichenwald would have been a [[priest]] if he weren't so fucking [[Jewish]].]] | |||
At this point in his [[Kill yourself|worthless life]], Eichenwald had [[Unrealistic Expectations|dreams]] of someday becoming a [[Faggot|journalist]] despite already looking [[Old|over twice his age]] and possessing absolutely no [[talent]] as a [[writer]]. Desperate, Eichenwald decided to write [[fiction]]al stories about how he overcame the social stigma of having [[epilepsy]] while making the disorder sound more like [[Werewolf|lycanthropy]] or [[vampirism]]. In the early 1990s, Kurt married '''Theresa Felicia Pearse'''{{jew}} in an attempt to cover up his [[homosexuality]] and, soon after, gave birth to three [[autistic]] hellspawn named '''Adam Jacob Eichenwald'''{{jew}}, '''Ryan Joseph Eichenwald'''{{jew}} and '''Samuel Ian Eichenwald'''{{jew}}. | |||
{{quote|The doctor warned me – and so did members of my family soon afterward – that if I did not keep my epilepsy a secret, [[wat|people would fear me]] and I would be subject to discrimination.|Kurt, thinking that people fear dorks who can literally be killed with .gifs {{archive|20180401181314/https://www.nytimes.com/1987/01/11/magazine/braving-epilepsy-s-storm.html<!--8JSkD-->}}}} | |||
[[File:JustinBerry.jpg|thumb|Justin Berry as a teenager.]] | |||
[[File:PaedoJewGaze.jpg|thumb|220px|The [[Gay|homosexual]] [[Pedobear|paedojew]] sets its sights on [[Boytaur|its young prey]].]] | |||
[[File:DonHenley.jpg|thumb|220px|Don Henley should [[sue]] for defamation.]] | |||
It wasn't until 2005 that Eichenwald finally got his big break while working for the ''[[New York Times|Jew York Times]]''. While trying to decide on a topic for his next [[Shitty attack article|big story]], Eichenwald decided to take a break and look for [[child porn]] images that resembled his then 13-year-old son, Adam. Eventually, Eichenwald stumbled upon '''MexicoFriends.com''' and '''JustinsFriends.com''' – a pair of [[gay]] [[pornographic]] [[Jewgold|paysites]] run by a 19-year-old [[twink]] named '''Justin Berry''' who had been doing [[Camwhore|webcam shows]] for [[Faggots|gay men]] since the age of 13 because [[LOLWUT|he thought it would be a good way to pick up chicks]]. | |||
{{quote|Nobody could look at this image knowing that it was a porn site and not conclude this is about [[child porn]]. It was an image of a 14-year-old boy, somebody who was clearly underage. Somebody who, in truth, and this was a very important thing, [[Incest|he looked a lot like my oldest son, who was 13 at the time]].|Eichenwald likes boys that resemble his son {{archive|20140122142415/http://nymag.com/guides/money/2007/39957/index1.html<!--W9hid-->}}}} | |||
After finding the site and somehow determining that it featured [[underage]] models ''despite having a notice saying that all models were at least 18'', Eichenwald decided that he wanted to [[Fuck|help]] Justin and—after supposedly consulting with his wife and [[No friends|friends]] who actually believed it would be a good idea—decided to "[[Pointless|pose]]" as a disgusting sex [[pervert]] named '''Andrew McDonald''' (a.k.a. "'''Roy Rogers'''") and then began [[harassment|constantly creeping on]] Justin through the site's contact form and purchasing all of Justin's underage [[n00dz]] with a [[Fail|Paypal account that could easily be traced back to him]]. | |||
<div align="center"> | |||
{{frame| | |||
{{morphquote|KurtEichenwaldCritiquesChildPornography|background-color: #f9f9f9; width: 600px; min-height: 180px|font-weight: bold; | |||
|i found a pretty good one... but the lighting sucks. washed out. still...worth 100|Kurt Eichenwald, [[child porn]] critic {{archive|20161227195829/https://medium.com/@BillMoranWrites/fools-conspiracy-did-kurt-eichenwald-use-journalism-to-shield-himself-after-viewing-child-porn-22-23fdf589ba4<!--sn6Jy-->}} | |||
|we gotta talk about what the really good ones are|Kurt, asking where the [[preteen]] [[hardcore]] is | |||
|i found 3 so far that i either didn't already have and were good.|Kurt, finding plenty of good CP | |||
|the way i am judging them is this: if i [[Party Van|save them]], i pay for them. if i don't -- it means i didnt even bother to [[Fap|finish looking at them]], so i didnt want to buy|Kurt, on how he judges CP | |||
}}|border=#f9f9f9|background=#f9f9f9}} | |||
</div> | |||
As a result of Eichenwald's constant bitching about the [[shitty]] [[quality]] of the [[CP]] he was receiving and his claims of being a [[famous]] [[musician]], Justin and his cohorts soon came to the conclusion that he was most likely '''Don Henley''' of '''[[Fat Larry's Band|The Eagles]]'''. | |||
{{quote|He won their trust in part by leading them to think he was a celebrated musician. [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|They guessed Eichenwald might be Don Henley of the Eagles]].|LOLOLOL {{archive|20140122142415/http://nymag.com/guides/money/2007/39957/index1.html<!--W9hid-->}}}} | |||
{{clear}} | |||
== It's About Ethics In Child Porn Journalism == | |||
[[File:JustinsFriends.gif|thumb|220px|What baldy actually got when he went to [[Los Angeles]].]] | |||
[[File:TimRichards.jpg|thumb|Timothy Ryan Richards, one of the scapegoats that was sent to prison because of Eichenwald's bullshit.]] | |||
After a while, Kurt finally got fed up with the fact that Justin wasn't actually giving him any real [[attention]] and, on June 8, [[2005]], decided to send him a check for $2000. The very next day, 19-year-old Justin picked up a [[13-year-old boy|14-year-old boy]] named '''Taylor''' and took him to the home of his 39-year-old [[gay]] [[paedophile]] friend, '''Gregory John Mitchel''', to film himself [[masturbating]] with Taylor. Berry then used $300 of the money that Eichenwald had sent him to pay the underage boy that he had just [[molested]] for his role in the production of Kurt's $2000 made-to-order [[child porn]] video. | |||
About a week later, Justin granted Eichenwald full [[admin]]istrator access on the JustinsFriends website as he proceeded to have a falling out with Mitchel and began searching for someone who could fix some [[HTML]] that he fucked up. Justin then went to one of his friends named '''Timothy Ryan Richards''' (a.k.a. '''Casey Masterson'''), a 24-year-old who had been a [[gay]] [[porn star]] and [[gay porn]] [[Nerd|webmaster]] since [[1999]] and who could actually [[CS3|code HTML]] because he wasn't a completely incompetent [[fuckwit]] like Eichenwald and Berry. | |||
What Justin didn't tell Richards, however, was that one of the videos that he was having him upload to the site was the aforementioned video of himself [[wanking]] it with a 14-year-old boy. Not realizing that the video was, in fact, [[child pornography]], Richards uploaded the video to the site so Eichenwald could spend the next week [[Fapping|accessing it]] no less than 56 times. Strangely, Kurt took several days off from watching the video – suggesting that he beat his dick raw thanks to his [[Jewish|lack of protective foreskin]]. | |||
On June 30, 2005, Kurt finally managed to arrange a [[Buttsex|face-to-arse meeting]] with Justin Berry in [[Los Angeles]] that he fully intended to involve a little [[Netflix and chill|VHS and Chill]]. Unfortunately, after showing up for the meeting, Eichenwald realized that Justin was now [[Too old|over the age of 18]] and was legally an adult. Now completely disinterested in getting his bum churned, a disappointed Eichenwald came up with an [[Retarded|absolutely brilliant idea]] to cure his [[Erectile Dysfunction|Writers' Cockblock]] – he would use Justin and his site as a basis for his next big story in ''The New York Times'', and in the process he would make himself look like a [[hero]] who [[Fap|single-handedly]] took down a global [[child porn]] ring. | |||
Soon after this, Eichenwald wrote a highly-praised article about the wonderful world of online [[child pornography]] entitled {{archive|20170726032022/http://www.nytimes.com/2005/12/19/us/through-his-webcam-a-boy-joins-a-sordid-online-world.html<!--lJWLM-->|"Through His Webcam, a Boy Joins a Sordid Online World"}}, but he strangely neglected to include any mention of the $3100 he had given Berry. Unfortunately, Eichenbald had also apparently suffered a seizure on the day that his journalistic ethics class explained that the act of paying a source is unethical and the practice is often referred to as "Checkbook Journalism". He also apparently had a seizure on the day that they explained that paying for [[kiddie porn]] and sex with underage boys is outright [[illegal]]. | |||
In case Eichenwald didn't already seem like enough of a creep, it also came out that one of whom was ultimately convicted for his role in the site likely wasn't even aware that any of the site's content was illegal and was merely a scapegoat for Eichenwald to get his big story and [[Autofellatio|further inflate his ego]] – much like the 1500 users of Justin's site who believed that they were paying for [[legal]] pornography featuring adults. | |||
{{quote|What's more, federal agents found that just one minor had appeared on mexicofriends.com. That boy was the thirteen-year-old that Justin had molested online.|Some gay book about [[Law and Order]]}} | |||
{{quote|The facts are now clear that, on June 8, 2005, Kurt Eichenwald purchased a Bank of America Cashier’s Check payable to Justin Berry in the amount of $2,000.00. Eichenwald sent the money to Berry via overnight delivery. Meanwhile, in the early morning hours of June 9, 2005, Justin Berry recruited and enticed a minor, Taylor, to perform in a mutual masturbation video with Berry.|Kurt Eichenwald paid for child porn. [[Fact|FACT]].}} | |||
That's right – actual paedophile, Kurt Eichenwald, helped [[child porn]]ographer and [[child molester]], Justin Berry, get off scot-free and then got a bunch of unwitting [[gay porn]] consumers thrown in [[prison]] for a crime that they didn't even know they were committing. And he did it all to save himself from [[prison rape]] and make himself look like a hero. | |||
[[File:DebbieNathan.jpg|thumb|Debbie Nathan]] | |||
Soon after the publication of Eichenwald's article about Justin Berry, the journalistic community began to question the legality of Kurt's extreme form of [[Hunter S. Thompson|Gonzo journalism]] and his highly dubious actions of '''''paying for goddamn child pornography'''''. Kurt was quick to defend himself by citing some [[Bullshit|non-existent loophole]] that he claimed allows journalists to view and download [[CP]] without any ramifications as long as they report it to [[Police|the authorities]] and don't [[fap]] to it for more than 5 minutes per image. | |||
Enter '''Debbie Nathan''', an actual journalist for ''[[Salon]]'' who was willing to call out Eichenwald on his [[bullshit]] and report on the [[facts]] of the matter in a story that was provocatively entitled {{archive|1=2017.03.17-215538/https://groups.google.com/forum/?hl=en%23!topic/alt.activism.children/eO1oYzYWHTo<!--mYkM4-->|2=Why I need to see child porn}}. Unfortunately, as soon as Eichenwald found this article, he [[Butthurt|blew a fucking gasket]] and [https://www.counterpunch.org/2006/09/23/i-was-disappeared-by-salon/ threatened] both ''Salon'' and Debbie Nathan with a [[lolsuit]] if they didn't immediately take down her factual reporting on him. Not wanting to deal with the hassle, ''Salon'' quickly chose to pull the article and admonished Debbie for attempting to pick a fight with a [[mentally retarded]] person. | |||
{{squote|Salon published an opinion piece headlined "Why I Need to See Child Porn" by Debbie Nathan on Aug. 25. The story argued that under child pornography laws, Nathan and other journalists and researchers had no protection from prosecution if they viewed visual depictions of child pornography, even inadvertently, in the course of their work. In fact, federal law does offer some legal protection for journalists and other researchers. An "affirmative defense" may exist that would protect such work under certain circumstances, and the opinion asserted by Nathan that her work, and the work of other journalists, would constitute a violation of the law was inaccurate.|''[[Salon]]'', being too [[pussy]] to face the bald Jew {{archive|1=20170317215538/https://groups.google.com/forum/?hl=en%23!topic/alt.activism.children/eO1oYzYWHTo<!--mYkM4-->}}}} | |||
{{squote|It is already clear to me that you are the most unethical and sleazy "journalist" I have ever encountered, one who feels content misrepresenting her intentions and efforts and never asking a relevant question relating to a piece she is writing. What I cannot determine is if your inability to read and understand the words presented to you is the result of incompetence, stupidity, malevolence, or a combination of the three. | |||
So let me be clear: Your piece in ''Salon'' was not only libelous, it was one of the worst reported, worst thought-through pieces of garbage I have ever seen passed off as journalism. You used your imagined realities to argue for a reinterpretation of the law that enters the realm of the grotesque. | |||
''Salon'' has elected to remove this piece of garbage from their site. However, if you should attempt to mischaracterize and misrepresent my actions again, in any other forum, let me assure you, I will take immediate and decisive legal action against you. And under no circumstances will I settle until you are financially wiped off the face of the earth. People like you are the maggots of journalism; you are everything that is wrong with this profession. | |||
Clear enough?|Eichenbald threatens to sue after being exposed as a paedophile {{archive|1=2018.04.01-212339/http://susiebright.blogs.com/susie_brights_journal_/2007/09/once-upon-a-tim.html<!--FE8I8-->}}}} | |||
{{clear}} | |||
== Eichenwald Rides The Trump Train Back To Relevance == | |||
[[File:MoarBaldJewAngleShot.jpg|thumb|200px|Kurt Eichenwald's Twitter pic.]] | |||
[[File:Eichenbald.jpg|thumb|Kurt Eichenbald [[IRL]].]] | [[File:Eichenbald.jpg|thumb|Kurt Eichenbald [[IRL]].]] | ||
After years of irrelevance, Eichenbald made his big comeback in [[2016]] by spending an entire year of his [[Kill yourself|miserable life]] writing [[Shitty attack article|shitty tabloid-level trash]] about [[The Donald|President Donald J. Trump]] while citing "[[anonymous]]" sources who [[Fact|most likely]] [[Imaginary Girlfriend|never even existed]]. | |||
[[File:EichenbaldBullshit.jpg|center|500px]] | |||
{{clear}} | |||
=== Jew Can't Cuck the Tuck === | |||
[[File:TuckerLOLsAtBaldy.jpg|thumb|The Uncuckable Tuck]] | |||
[[File:TuckedEichenwald.jpg|thumb|TUCKED]] | |||
This eventually landed him an interview on the Tucker Carlson show where he spent 10 minutes grandstanding to avoid answering the simple question "Do you have evidence for any of this?", while waving around a 4 inch thick folder he collected by stalking Carlson for years, and threatening to expose its content if Tucker didn't stop asking him hard questions. The interview ended with Kurt going completely off the rails and sharing his paranoid delusions about being send secret messages by the CIA as Tucker suggests he seeks professional help before ending the interview. | |||
<center><youtube>7Ophbx1iaF8</youtube></center> | |||
{{clear}} | |||
== The Twitter Meltdown == | |||
<br> | |||
<center>{{frame|{{Template:scrollpic|Kurt eichenwald - twitter meltdown (complete).png|888|200|[[TL;DR|{{colortext|#ff1080|'''TL;DR'''}}]]}}|border=gold|background=pink}}</center> | |||
<br> | |||
== #BanAssaultGIFs == | == #BanAssaultGIFs == | ||
[[File: | [[File:ThisIsHisWife.jpg|thumb|[[Fact|.gifs can be set to not autoplay on Twatter]].]] | ||
[[File: | [[File:SuingJewGoldstein.jpg|thumb|LOLOLOL]] | ||
[[File:Eichenliar.jpg|thumb|He's a [[Redundant|Jew and a liar]].]] | [[File:Eichenliar.jpg|thumb|He's a [[Redundant|Jew and a liar]].]] | ||
[[File:Seizureman.jpg|thumb|Eichenwald attempts to stop [[The Donald|Orange Hitler]] and predictably [[fails]].]] | |||
After being [[REKT|wrecked]] by '''[[Tucker Carlson]]''', suffering a complete meltdown and going on an incoherent [[Twatter]]ing spree, Eichenwald's day of [[Batshit insane|batshit insanity]] finally came to an end when a sexy-as-FUCK [[Troll|Good Samaritan]] named '''jew_goldstein''' ([[Powerword]]: '''John Rayne Rivello''') tweeted a rapidly-flashing .gif that [[allegedly]] caused Eichenbald to suffer a severe [[seizure]]. | |||
{{quote|This is his wife, you caused a seizure. I have your information and have called the police to report the assault.|Totally not Kurt posing as Theresa for sympathy points {{archive|Z0h1g}}}} | |||
However, all evidence of what happened, such as him having regained full speech, mobility and ability to write and edit videos mere hours after the event (in spite of what his lawyer claims in a clear case of perjury), all points to this convenient "seizure" (one in a log line of many) being fake. Still, being the repugnant little Jewfag that he is, Eichenbald then called in the motherfucking [[FBI]] to investigate [[Buzzkill|the posting of a fucking animated .gif file on Twatter]]. In March, 2017, John Rivello was finally arrested by the FBI to face federal charges for '''''posting a .gif on the internet''''' and triggering a seizure that '''''most likely never even happened'''''. | |||
As of this day, all Federal charges have been dropped and it looks like Kurt won't be able to get a conviction on what remains so he wasted his money for nothing. | |||
{{squote|For self-protection, I am taking a short twitter break. I will be spending that time with my lawyers & law enforcement going after 1 of u.. Last night, for the second time, a deplorable aware I have epilepsy tweeted a strobe at me with the message "you deserve a seizure' on it......it worked. This is not going to happen again. My wife is terrified. I am...disgusted. All I will be tweeting for the next few days are......copies of documents from the litigation, police reports etc. Once we have the lawsuit filed, we will be subpoenaing Twitter for the......identity of the individual who engaged in this cross-state assault. At this point, the police are attempting to determine if this is......a federal crime because it appears to be cross state. This kind of assault will never happen again without huge consequences. This......individual will be going to court, and he will be paying a price. And if any of you others ever try this again, I will make sure it......happens to you. Online anonymity does not protect criminals. Thats why subpoenas exist. You are facing a criminal investigation and a......lawsuit. So if any of you others think about trying this "cute" prank, consider the consequences. They will be severe. Again, I will not be seeing your comments or tweeting for awhile except to upload copies of litigation and police documents.|[https://twitter.com/kurteichenwald/status/809822169509273601 Kurt manthreading about his spasms]}}<br /><br /> | |||
{{quote|As promised, I will be tweeting legal updates about the assault on me. I'm coming for you, you son of a bitch.|Eichenbald, [[internet tough guy]]}} | {{quote|As promised, I will be tweeting legal updates about [[LULZ|the assault on me]]. I'm coming for you, you son of a bitch.|Eichenbald, [[internet tough guy]]}} | ||
{{Rainbow|tweeting that this is not a joke}} | {{Rainbow|tweeting that this is not a joke}} | ||
== See | ===Kurt likes to dox others=== | ||
Kurt likes to use Twitter in order to find out the private info of those who criticize him on Twitter and then begin to threaten them while also acting like the victim once it turns around on him in the worst way possible. | |||
<center><gallery> | |||
File:Kurteichenbaldlisadox.jpg | |||
File:Kurteichenbaldnashdox.jpg | |||
File:KurteichenbalddoxtwitterDM.jpg | |||
File:Kurteichenbaldstevedox.jpg | |||
</gallery></center> | |||
We're [[Truth|not lieing]] when we say if you have an active article and have doxed somebody in the past or present, it will unquestionably backfire on you like a [[nigger]] [[Police Brutality|trying to run from the police]], doesn't matter if you're a ED user or not. It's not much differentiating than a [[backraid]], except this isn't on a [[image board]]; it's on a major [[social media]] site that [[Irony|thinks the type of behavior Kurt is exhibiting is okay, but wishes to dish out suspensions to those who give him the backfire that he truly deserves]]. | |||
{{clear}} | |||
== The .gif == | |||
<center> | |||
{{co|TehJiff|BRB SEIZURE|By clicking here I hereby agree that I deserve a seizure for my posts.|0| | |||
[[File:You_deserve_a_seizure_for_your_posts.gif|center]] | |||
|}} | |||
</center> | |||
== I Swear I Was Just Doing Research Part II: Electric Boogaloo == | |||
[[File:B-Chiku.jpg|thumb|]] | |||
Not content with being a degenerate in only one way, Kurt went out of his way to make his degeneracy even more publicly known. While playing the victim card again, he accidentally revealed an open tab that turned out to be Japanese cartoon porn. Eichenwald hilariously made several claims while squirming, each more pathetic than the last. A clever Twitterer created {{hashtag|EichenwaldAMovie}}, resulting in many hilarious memes and lulz. | |||
<gallery mode="slideshow" widths=600px> | |||
File:Kurt Eichenwald B-chiku Tweet.jpg|The original | |||
File:Kurt Eichenwald B-Chiku Tweet 2.jpg|Zoom and enhance | |||
File:Kurt Eichenwald B-chiku Tweet 3.jpg|Oh my | |||
</gallery> | |||
The "research" claim worked so well to get him out of hot water in the [[Justin Berry]] case, why not use it here? | |||
{{quote|No one hacked my account. We were searching to prove to my wife tentacle porn exists. See text convo. I only removed names and drug names.|{{archive|RoQu6}}}} | |||
<center>[[File:Kurt Eichenbald's Wife's Sons Tentacle Porn.jpg|600px]]<br /> | |||
<big>[[cool story bro|Seems legit]]</big> | |||
</center> | |||
Not content with his existence proving Rick Wilson's theory that people with no political power [http://www.mediaite.com/tv/msnbc-guest-trumps-alt-right-fans-childless-single-men-who-masturbate-to-anime/ jack it to cartoon porn], and embarrassing himself by lying about his sick fetish for hot hot tentacle porn, Eichenwald went on to pretend he did not know what [[Queening|facesitting]] is. Nobody else had the same problem however, and he quickly [http://archive.is/DxwhJ deleted his lie] and continued to squirm on Twitter while everyone laughed their asses off. | |||
[[Tucker Carlson]] naturally suggested that Eichenbald [[DELET THIS|delete his account]] on his show that night: | |||
{| style="margin: 0 auto" | |||
|{{frame|{{videoframe|Videos|background-color: #f9f9f9; text-align: center; font-weight: bold;|font-weight: bold; | |||
|<youtube>sbPN02OgOv0</youtube><br/>Tucked again! | |||
|<youtube>iz4mEyrNH90</youtube><br/>Jesse Watters points out Eichenwald's bullshit. | |||
}}|border=#f9f9f9|background=#f9f9f9}} | |||
|} | |||
And as it turns out, Kurt admitting in failing in his quest to find [http://www.google.com/search?q=tentacle+porn tentacle porn], making him the most incompetent man on the planet. | |||
[[File:BaldyCantFindHentaiOnTheInternets.jpg|center|500px]] | |||
{{quote|Yeah, I'm pretty much done with being condescended to by someone who COULDN'T FIND PORN ON THE INTERNET|Eric Spencer {{archive|BeUio}}}} | |||
== Kikenbald vs. Diversity & Comics == | |||
[[File:MichellePerez.png|thumb|250px|Michelle Perez.]] | |||
[[File:MichellePerezDick.jpg|thumb|250px|Perez from a different angle. {{archive|RcvRx}}]] | |||
[[File:MichellePerezArse.jpg|thumb|250px|And another so you'll want to [[kill yourself]].]] | |||
[[File:RichardCMeyer.jpg|thumb|Alleged photo of [[Richard C. Mongler|Richard C. Meyer]].]] | |||
In yet another of Kurt's efforts to humiliate himself, after tranny comic writer Michelle Perez sent twitter threats to [[ComicGate]] figure [[Diversity & Comics]], Kurt [[gay|came out]] in full throated support of D&C, only to be rejected outright and called a kiddie diddler. | |||
It seems that not even the publicity starved members of ComicsGate wanted anything to do with this "journalist", and D&C made a video about him siding with himself saying exactly that. What followed was a never-ending slew of deranged emails from Kurt to Diversity, filled with incoherent ramblings and threats of legal action, less he retracts all previous statements in an official apology video. When this failed, Kurt contacted industry insider and friend of D&C, Ethan van Sciver, to request he act as a mediator. This too soon devolved into lunacy and ended with Eichenbald making additional threats to the empty void that was everyone else's collective decision to just ignore him from now on. | |||
<div align="center"> | |||
{{frame| | |||
{{morphquote|TrannyVsBaldy|background-color: #f9f9f9; width: 600px; min-height: 250px|font-weight: bold; | |||
|richard c meyer, aka the diversity and comix guy. he did a 30 minute video about a comic book circular that featured an article of mine. hes a multiple divorcee piece of shit. hes a war veteran so of course he's a cryptofascist. unfortunately, an IED didnt blow him up|Michelle Perez, being a [[bitch]] {{archive|G7r58}} | |||
|Wishing a veteran died in Afghanistan -and then celebrating the deaths of others - is not "venting." It is a despicable abrogation of civilized standards. How can u ppl not understand that? And at a friggin comic critic? Seriously? @DiversityAndCmx: Is there a story behind this?|Eichenwald {{archive|plNPb}} | |||
|communism is going to win kurt. in the communist regime you wont be able to buy child porn anymore|Michelle Perez, on BUT IT WASN'T REAL COMMUNISM! {{archive|CceuX}} | |||
}}|border=#f9f9f9|background=#f9f9f9}} | |||
</div> | |||
[[File:KurtThreatensToSue.jpg|center|750px]] | |||
<div align="center"> | |||
{{frame| | |||
{{morphquote|EichenwaldThinksHeIsAHero|background-color: #f9f9f9; width: 600px; min-height: 250px|font-weight: bold; | |||
|Where do you comics idiots get your information? I SAVED kids from CP. I got child pornographers LOCKED UP. I testified before Congress on it which led to new laws. (See attached.) Sorry if that offends you - and your CP buddies who spread those lies.|Kurt Paedobald {{archive|VghDn}} | |||
|I rescued 400 kids. I got 100s of pedos locked up. [[Shit that never happened|I took on Ukranian organized crime's CP business]]. One pedo went after my own son in retaliation. And for 13 years, first lefties & now conservs have run this "[[Yes|keep ur kids away from Kurt]]'' crap pushed by pedos. It's ending now.|Kurt Eichenwald, thinking that raping children is "rescuing" them {{archive|TsD2M}} | |||
|...if u think you can essentially call me a child molester to 50,000 people and spin other lies, when what I did was SAVE 100s of kids and got pedos locked up, and then you double down (like u accuse others of doing) rather than read an email, Im gonna stop u.|Paedobald {{archive|yxQ8T}} | |||
|He essentially calls me a child molester (when I rescued 100s of kids and got pedos locked up), says my career was wrecked over it (a lie) and that I only recovered when I criticized Trump & other lies. I told him "read this, reply or I'll sue." He ignored all but last 2 words|Paedobald {{archive|AbYii}} | |||
}}|border=#f9f9f9|background=#f9f9f9}} | |||
</div> | |||
{| style="margin: 0 auto" | |||
|{{frame|{{videoframe|DandC|background-color: #f9f9f9; text-align: center; font-weight: bold;|font-weight: bold; | |||
|<youtube>MT33nTHW1VQ</youtube><br/>Diversity & Comics gets threatened by Kunt Eichenbald. | |||
}}|border=#f9f9f9|background=#f9f9f9}} | |||
|} | |||
== Kurt Doxes Bill Post == | |||
[[File:BillPost.png|thumb|This is whom Eichenwald decided to fuck with.]] | |||
Recently, Kurt decided it would be a good idea to dox a state representative who was telling constituents how to contact their congressman to complain about proposed changes to a state gun law - which Kurt thinks is doxing - and threaten his kids. After briefly posting Bill Post's SSN (which he found by googling it) and deleting it, he followed it up with several tweets basically saying "Watch your mouth, or else". Bill reacted by not caring because he's a public figure with government protection and isn't scared of a bald midget jew and probably just pities him. | |||
<div align="center"> | |||
{{frame| | |||
{{morphquote|KurtTheDoxer|background-color: #f9f9f9; width: 600px; min-height: 200px|font-weight: bold; | |||
|[[Doxxing]] is terrible. But since Rep Bill Post @BillPostOregon [[Lie|abused his post by using info of ppl testifying to dox them]], calling others 2 bombard them with letters, & justifying by saying knowledge is power...turnabout: | |||
<br> | |||
Bill and Colleen Post <br> | |||
5135 LACEY ST <br> | |||
N SALEM, OR 97303-4004|Kurt Eichenwald, doing shit that he admits is terrible {{archive|ieAtl}} | |||
|...by the way, Billy, took me 25 seconds to get all the information about you, your wife, [[Too old; DO NOT WANT!|your son (tell him happy 25th)]], your neighbors etc. Don't bring a knife to a bazooka fight.|Eichenwald, bringing his twink-raping tentacles to a gunfight {{archive|3Ck9I}} | |||
|Now that I have demonstrated to @BillPostOregon i can [[Dox|get his home address, his personal phone number and his social security number]], I have deleted. However, Bill: One more time you take info submitted to legislature to dox people for disagreeing with you, [[Blackmail|it all goes back up]].|Kurt, [[blackmail]]ing politicians {{archive|XmIDp}} | |||
}}|border=#f9f9f9|background=#f9f9f9}} | |||
</div> | |||
==Kurt Destroys His Career By Trying To Bully A School Shooting Survivor== | |||
[[File:KurtKyle.jpg|thumb|Kurt finds yet another teenage boy who has absolutely no interest in fucking him. Time for a smear campaign!]] | |||
Days after [[David Hogg]] orchestrated a letter writing campaign to [[Faux News|FOX]] sponsors because Laura Ingraham exposed he was trying to leverage his fame from having his classmates killed into a way to get into schools he was ineligible for because of his pathetically low GPA, something that Kurt applauded, Kurt decided nothing would be smarter than to get the exact same thing done to him, and picked a twitter fight with the one pro-A2 kid that survived the [[Parkland High School Massacre]], with predicable results. | |||
Within hours people were contacting every outlet he claimed to work for and getting their sponsorships pulled. In response, Kurt concocted one of his oh-so-convincing stories, claiming that he wasn't threatening the survivor of a school shooting, he was actually trying to bully ''a different teenager'' and got confused. | |||
<center>[[File:Kurt teens.png]] | |||
<br> | |||
<big>'''The two kids Kurt mistook for each other. How can you even tell them apart!?'''</big></center> | |||
Predictably, this did not work, and Kurt was quickly fired from multiple news networks... or he would have been, if he had worked there in the first place. While Newsweek kicked him out, Vanity Fair claimed he hasn't actually written anything for them for years and MSNBC went a step further and quietly purged not only Kurt, but everyone who he was friends with. | |||
<center><big>'''Kurt Eichenwald's Amazing Disappearing Employment'''</big></center> | |||
<gallery mode="slideshow" widths=600px> | |||
File:Kurt crap 01.jpg|Now you see it | |||
File:Kurt crap 02.jpg| | |||
File:Kurt crap 03.jpg| | |||
File:Kurt crap 04.jpg|Now you don't | |||
</gallery> | |||
===Kurt Thinks It's A Conspiracy By Ben Shapiro=== | |||
[[File:Kurt crap 17.jpg|thumb|right|250px|"I didn't send those crazy emails to Ben Shapiro! I was hacked! Honest!]] | |||
To escalate the insanity to 11, Kurt then sent deranged emails to [[Ben Shapiro]], accusing him of being part of a conspiracy to catfish him into bullying the wrong teenager and saying he is writing a story about it with the help of a psychiatrist that has determined the kid he threatened is crazy, and that Ben should keep a lid on it because if he doesn't the kid might be in danger. Emails which Ben, just like every other person who has gotten one of Kurt's insane ransom notes sent to them, posted publicly in twitter, prompting even more emails to be sent. | |||
Following this, Kurt tried to pretend he was hacked, but it was to no avail and he ended up trending on twitter for a second time. Furthermore, a legal expert weighed in to say that [https://lawandcrime.com/legal-analysis/conservative-parkland-teen-kyle-kashuv-has-strong-defamation-case-against-kurt-eichenwald/ Kurt's email is actionable defamation.] | |||
{{collapsegallery|Kurt's love letters to ben|Baldy3|center|<gallery perrow=5> | |||
File:Kurt crap 05.jpg|First part of first email | |||
File:Kurt crap 06.jpg|Second part of first email | |||
File:Kurt crap 07.jpg|Freaking out after Ben exposed him | |||
File:Kurt crap 08.jpg|Trying to play the victim and telling Ben his fans are bulling him | |||
</gallery>}} | |||
== Kurt Gets Raped == | |||
{{quote|I was raped in my twenties while incapacitated after an epileptic seizure. The injuries required me to seek medical attention at a hospital.|Kurt, on [[shit that never happened]] {{archive|9bFQx}}}} | |||
== Quotes == | |||
<div align="center"> | |||
{{frame| | |||
{{morphquote|EichenwaldQuotes|background-color: #f9f9f9; width: 600px; min-height: 180px|font-weight: bold; | |||
|You’re lucky it’s illegal for me to punch you in the face.|Eichenbald, threatening to punch a [[Retard|Jill Stein voter]] in the face | |||
|I have been called “fag,” “pedo,” and once—in an email that made no sense—“nigger-lover.”|Nigger-Lover Eichenwald {{archive|dQIib}} | |||
|I seriously hope you get a preexisting condition that needs long term treatment. Then u can die in tears in the ER.|Eichenwald, wishing death on others {{archive|m6lum}} | |||
|U are trash. I hope u die a horrible death.|Eichenwald, being classy {{archive|HwmQf}} | |||
|Aw, come on. Tell me what u really think. @NoJuan42 your ignorant so are your liberal friends. Go die of AIDS you piece of shit.|Eichenwald, not knowing how to properly reply to a tweet {{archive|T2iYz}} | |||
|Stop me before I kill again.|Kurt Eichenwald {{archive|yZPrF}} | |||
|Journalism isn't wrecking lives for fun.|Kurt, on choosing to not be a real journalist {{archive|Xf62J}} | |||
|The only thing I have to say to Republicans whose years of conspiracy theories and abandonment of governance gave them Trump: HAHAHAHA!|Kurt {{archive|tqP1u}} | |||
}}|border=#f9f9f9|background=#f9f9f9}} | |||
</div> | |||
== Video Evidence == | |||
{{fv|snuggievids|background-color: ;|font-weight: bold; | |||
|<youtube>yRcpuMM51lQ</youtube><br/> | |||
|<youtube>0y5ptWIDxhw</youtube><br/> | |||
|<youtube>31diClBZmg8</youtube><br/> | |||
|<youtube>FDezfo2w1gY</youtube><br/> | |||
}} | |||
== Galleria de Saving Money on Haircuts == | |||
{{collapsegallery|Night on Bald Mountain|Baldy|center|<gallery perrow=5> | |||
File:BaldJewAngleShot.jpg|The full version of his profile photo reveals the [[fugly]] truth. | |||
File:EichenwaldCrayCray.jpg | |||
File:KurtKun.jpeg | |||
File:SeizurePost.png | |||
File:FuckingTrump.jpg | |||
</gallery>|<gallery perrow=5> | |||
File:Kawaiichenwald.jpg | |||
File:PaedofaceEichenwald.jpg | |||
File:ShareHentaiWithFamily.jpg | |||
File:EichenwaldWaifu.jpg | |||
File:Fappenwald.jpg | |||
File:EichenwaldDoingResearch.jpg | |||
File:SadEichenwald.jpg|Eichenwald is a sad panda. | |||
File:TentacleEichenwald.png | |||
File:EichenwaldBday.jpg | |||
File:JustinBerryAndEichenboyraper1.jpg|You can see the fear... | |||
File:JustinBerryAndEichenboyraper2.jpg|... in this innocent young boy's eyes. | |||
File:KurtJewface.jpg|The highest rated image on RateMyJew. | |||
File:GnomeRapingPig.jpg|Kurt tries to prove he isn't [[Jewish]] by fucking something non-kosher. | |||
File:EichenwaldAMovie.png|{{hashtag|EichenwaldAMovie}} on the trending list | |||
File:KurtReportingToHisFBIOverlords.jpg | |||
File:EichenwaldArt.jpg|Sure it is, Kurt, sure it is... | |||
File:Kurt crap 10.jpg|The Eichenwald curve | |||
File:Kurt crap 15.jpg| his waifu | |||
File:Kurt crap 16.jpg|Did Kurt post in his own defense on pol? | |||
File:Kurt crap 14.jpg|Kurt went on a 16 hour twitter break one minute after [[Mister Metokur]] made a video about him | |||
File:Kurt crap 09.jpg|Possible meme? | |||
File:Kurt crap 11.jpg|Another cringy tweet | |||
File:EICHENBALD_TRENDING.png|Kurt is trending again | |||
File:Kurt crap 12.jpg|Kurt's "employer's" sponsors pulling out like his mother should have | |||
</gallery>}} | |||
{{collapsegallery|Seizure Fuel|Seizure|center|<gallery> | |||
File:SeizureWarning.jpg|We're not actually sorry. We hope you click this and [[die]]. | |||
</gallery>|<gallery perrow=4> | |||
File:PepeSeizurepus.gif | |||
File:SeizureKurt.gif | |||
File:PedoKurt.gif | |||
File:TuckedGif.gif | |||
File:Eichenbald - zeisure chamber.gif|Soon... | |||
File:SimpsonSeizure.gif|[[The Simpsons|The Eichenwalds]] | |||
File:More kurt crap 01.jpg | |||
File:More kurt crap 02.png | |||
File:More kurt crap 03.png|A parody account of Kurt just gave up | |||
File:More kurt crap 04.jpg | |||
File:More kurt crap 05.jpg | |||
File:More kurt crap 06.jpg|caught lying again | |||
File:More kurt crap 07.jpg | |||
File:More kurt crap 08.jpg|Kurt only has one insult | |||
File:More kurt crap 09.jpg|seriously its all he says | |||
File:More kurt crap 10.jpg | |||
File:More kurt crap 11.jpg | |||
File:More kurt crap 12.jpg | |||
File:More kurt crap 13.jpg | |||
File:More kurt crap 14.jpg|Even [[Moviebob]] thinks he's a loser... ouch | |||
File:More kurt crap 15.jpg|Someone fixed his Google bio | |||
File:More kurt crap 16.png | |||
File:More kurt crap 17.jpg | |||
File:More kurt crap 18.jpg | |||
File:More kurt crap 19.png|An actual screencap from his wikipedia article | |||
</gallery>}} | |||
== Related Articles == | |||
* [[Justin Berry]] - The boy he "saved" from a child porn ring | |||
* [[Keith Olbermann]] - A similar libturd who actually had the sense to fuck off... eventually... | |||
* [[Tucker Carlson]] | |||
* [[FGAS|Bald Jew Angle Shot]] | * [[FGAS|Bald Jew Angle Shot]] | ||
* [[Internet Tough Guy|Internet Tough Jew, Holocaust Tough Guy, or Internet Tough Goy]] (call it whatever) | |||
* [[Child Pornography]] | * [[Child Pornography]] | ||
* [[Paedophile]] | * [[Paedophile]] | ||
* [[Epilepsy]] | * [[Epilepsy]] | ||
* [[Holocaust|Oven]] - Where baldy belongs. | |||
==External Links== | ==External Links== | ||
'''Kurt Loves Kurt''' | |||
* {{archive|UCR61|Astonishing...Absolutely Astonishing}} | |||
* {{archive|dsrzV|I loved this book...Better than his last}} | |||
* {{archive|8JSkD|BRAVING EPILEPSY'S STORM}} - Kurt's shitty writing from 1987. | |||
'''Paedo Eichenwald vs. The Liberal Media''' | |||
* {{archive|lJWLM|Through His Webcam, a Boy Joins a Sordid Online World}} - Eichenwald's article that started this saga. | |||
* {{archive|mmrUW|REPORTER'S ESSAY: Making a Connection With Justin}} | |||
* {{archive|pp3ue|Congress Identifies Pornography Purchasers}} | |||
* {{archive|Jl17E|With Child Sex Sites on the Run, Nearly Nude Photos Hit the Web}} - Eichenwald writes creepy shit about prepubescent girls too. | |||
* {{archive|LMN6A|Doing Good and Telling a Good Story: A Delicate Balance}} - Kurt's Jew York Times friends defend his bullshit. | |||
* {{archive|12yJg|Sex, Checks and 'The New York Times'}} - NPR calls out Eichenwald's unethical behaviour. | |||
* {{archive|mYkM4|Why I need to see child porn}} - Debbie Nathan's article that was pulled after baldy sent legal threats to Salon. | |||
* {{archive|PTjg5|Censoring Debbie Nathan}} | |||
* {{archive|FE8I8|When Kurt and Justin Met Debbie}} | |||
* {{archive|MNdnh|‘Times’ Prostitute Rescuer Eichenwald, in Testimony, Says He Went ‘Off the Deep End’}} | |||
* {{archive|3onxK|Eichenwald: A tale of Media-ocrity}} - [[Perverted Justice]] tries to slander Debbie Nathan to protect our bald paedo friend. | |||
* {{archive|f4DD|Seizures Hurt Memory, Ex-'Times' Reporter Says}} - HURR DURR MY SEIZURES MADE ME FORGET PAYING 2000$ FOR CHILD PORN | |||
* {{archive|Nr6Cy|The Eichenwald Affair: Threats And Allegations, With Little End}} - Huffing-paint Shitpost skewers baldy. | |||
* {{archive|tdShn|Kurt Eichenwald’s Sad Story Gets That Much Sadder}} - Moar HuffPost. | |||
* {{archive|xUkWp|Eichenwald's Weird Checkbook Journalism}} - Even libtarded Slate can destroy Eichenwald. | |||
* {{archive|rdEoM|More Secret Payments by Former New York Times Reporter to Web Porn Star Surface in Nashville Courtroom}} - Debbie strikes back. | |||
* {{archive|1qgcx|New York Times reporter was a member of an illegal underage porn site, claims he was only "posing as online predator"}} - Moar Debbie. | |||
* {{archive|F7rsR|Court Papers Said to Show Added Payments by Reporter}} - NYT finally reports on their disgraced reporter. | |||
* {{archive|XCUvA|Kurt Eichenwald Has Some 'Splaining To Do}} - Moar Gawker. | |||
* {{archive|rbAqL|Fools of conspiracy}} - Wikileaks weren't actually the first ones to discover Kurt's sockpuppetry. | |||
* {{archive|sn6Jy|Fool’s Conspiracy: Did Kurt Eichenwald Use Journalism to Shield Himself After Viewing Child Porn 22+ Times?}} | |||
* {{archive|UeoSY|Newsweek Writer Threatens Journalist Bill Moran Over Pedophile Allegations}} | |||
** {{archive|Z3Z96|Moran responds}} | |||
* {{archive|5fDh0|Newsweek’s Kurt Eichenwald Caught Viewing Kiddie Porn, Financing Kiddie Porn Video}} | |||
* {{archive|1M9It|Kurt Eichenwald's side of the story}} | |||
'''Kurt Whines To Poynter''' | |||
* {{archive|LuS5e|Part 1}} | |||
* {{archive|kmJm6|Part 2}} | |||
* {{archive|qCHrg|Part 3}} | |||
* {{archive|UqFTo|Part 4}} | |||
'''FreeCasey''' | |||
* {{archive|JLAid|Welcome to FreeCasey.com}} | |||
* {{archive|WrmRn|To whom it may concern:}} | |||
* {{archive|N46lG|TESTIMONY OF KURT EICHENWALD}} | |||
'''Eichen 2: Epileptic Jigaboo''' | |||
* {{archive|K1YdN|The NRA’s Solution to Sandy Hook? Columbine.}} | |||
* {{archive|8ciXU|The Deafness Before the Storm}} - Kurt makes his big comeback by bitching about [[Bush]] and [[9/11]] in fucking [[2012]]. | |||
* {{archive|hl7Yu|Let’s Repeal the Second Amendment}} | |||
* {{archive|PMVA3|The New York Times' Juicy, Scoop-Filled 9/11 Op-Ed Is Neither Juicy Nor Full of Scoops}} - [[Gawker]] eviscerates Eichenwald after his "comeback". | |||
* {{archive|cXnZC|Get Control, Senator Sanders, or Get Out}} - Kurt helps [[Donald J. Trump]] become president by spreading Hitlery's easily-debunked [[propaganda]]. | |||
* {{archive|SrMKs|Donald Trump’s History of Lying Under Oath}} | |||
* {{archive|ef7Dc|Donald Trump Tests Positive for Everything, According to His Own Doctor}} | |||
* {{archive|eE0TI|Sean Hannity: Apologize to Those with Epilepsy, or Burn in Hell}} - Classy. | |||
* {{archive|ZehUu|How the Trump Organization's Foreign Business Ties Could Upend U.S. National Security}} | |||
* {{archive|SDYzi|How Donald Trump Supporters Attack Journalists}} - Kurt bitches about "Epileptogenic Pepe Videos". | |||
* {{archive|0z1xo|A reporter tweets his way into trouble with a claim about Trump that lacked evidence}} | |||
* {{archive|yvIhr|Newsweek’s Eichenwald Melts Down After Called Out for Lying About Trump Health}} | |||
'''Kurt Slanders Moran''' | |||
* {{archive|0fRK8|Hillary Confidante: Benghazi was "Preventable," State Department Negligent}} - The misunderstanding that set Kurt's panties on fire. | |||
* {{archive|yvLOS|Dear Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin, I Am Not Sidney Blumenthal}} | |||
* {{archive|HZr1U|How I Got Slimed By Russian Propagandist Site Sputnik}} - Baldy got sued over this. | |||
* {{archive|cRKxW|Journalist Sues Newsweek for Naming Him as Russian Conspirator}} - LOLOLOL | |||
* {{archive|daZKE|Newsweek Settles with Journalist Smeared by Kurt Eichenwald}} | |||
* {{archive|wJg4o|Newsweek settles with Sputnik writer}} | |||
* {{archive|lHwOd|Clinton Journalist Has Meltdown After His Russian Conspiracy Theory Is Debunked}} | |||
'''Eichen Bald Z: The Jew Goldstein Saga''' | |||
* {{archive|ut2nV|Newsweek’s Kurt Eichenwald Is Suing the Man Who Allegedly Gave Him a Seizure}} | |||
'''Eikenwald''' | |||
* {{archive|Mv1Y5|Twitter Explodes After Kurt Eichenwald Allegedly Tweets Photo That Shows His Interest in Anime Porn}} | |||
* {{archive|jZy7X|Kurt Eichenwald says he was just trying to show his wife some tentacle porn}} | |||
* {{archive|IPHfo|Newsweek’s Kurt Eichenwald was just looking at tentacle porn for his family}} | |||
'''Kurt vs. WikiLeaks''' | |||
* {{archive|ibxaT|Kurt Eichenwald Attempts Twitter Fight With Julian Assange, Gets Wrecked}} | |||
** {{archive|1i6Z0|Wikileaks reveals Kurt's Amazon sockpuppet}} | |||
* {{archive|r7eFP|Wikileaks Pettiness Reveals What Might Be the Secret Amazon Account of Journalist Kurt Eichenwald}} - Jizzmondo suggests Wikileaks was wrong for revealing Kurt's sockfaggotry. | |||
* {{archive|2w5EO|Mainstream Media Journalist Tries to Troll WikiLeaks on Twitter, Assange Proceeds to Own Him}} | |||
'''Doxing Bill Post''' | |||
* {{archive|IjT3R|'Don't bring a knife to a bazooka fight': Journalist posts Oregon lawmaker’s personal info online}} | |||
* {{archive|30Xxu|Oregon Lawmaker Gets Into an Online Doxxing War After He Publishes Home Addresses of Religious Leaders Campaigning for Gun Control}} | |||
'''Diversity & Comics''' | |||
* {{archive|0hTEn|Kurt Eichenwald And D&C Went To War This Weekend}} | |||
'''Ecchibald vs. Meghan McCain''' | |||
* {{archive|5Nyuw|Meghan McCain Fires Back at Kurt Eichenwald Over Twitter Jab: ‘Mr. Weirdo Tentacle Porn’}} | |||
* {{archive|eSHiW|Meghan McCain Threatened With Legal Action Over Social Media Spat}} | |||
'''Defaming The President''' | |||
* {{archive|5UZEA|Newsweek Writer Issues Bizarre Claim About Trump and Drugs}} | |||
'''Ecchibald vs. Kyle Kashew''' | |||
* {{archive|9PDwc|Proactiv Pulls Ads From MSNBC Over Kurt Eichenwald Spat}} | |||
* {{archive|BZz2o|Proactiv Pulls Ads From MSNBC After Ex-Contributor Attacks Pro-Gun Parkland Student Kyle Kashuv}} | |||
* {{archive|XYU3l|Kurt Eichenwald Says He’s No Longer With MSNBC After Kyle Kashuv Calls For Network Boycott}} | |||
'''Random Trump Hysteria & Hypocrisy''' | |||
* {{archive|VwMCO|FBI Director James Comey Is Unfit for Public Service}} | |||
** {{archive|xmEKf|Kurt's reaction after Trump takes his advice and fires Comey}}- Nice 180°, Kurt. | |||
* {{archive|PWsyH|Neil Gorsuch Is Supremely Qualified, and Must Not Be Confirmed}} | |||
'''Other Shit''' | |||
* {{archive|oVoTw|Newsweek Writer Paid Underaged Boys To Wank on Video}} | |||
* {{archive|Efth3|Political columnist Kurt Eichenwald voted Shittiest Twitter Account of 2016}} | |||
* {{hashtag|FreeJewGoldstein}} | |||
* {{archive|RrkF5|Goldstein's now deleted Twitter}} | |||
* {{edfthread|newsweeks-kurt-eichenwald-sues-jew-goldstein-over-weaponized-assault-gif-on-twitter.27351|Newsweek's Kurt Eichenwald sues Jew Goldstein over weaponized assault GIF on Twitter}} | |||
* {{pastebin|0dfKXypX|Pastebin about his child porn habits}} | |||
* {{archive|LntEZ|BOSTON MAN PLEADS GUILTY TO CHARGES IN COMMERCIAL CHILD PORNOGRAPHY WEBSITE CASE}} | |||
* {{archive|8c2bu|Jewboy finally admits to being a fucking kike}} | |||
'''Doxing is horrible, but...''' | |||
* {{archive|dwEVQ|Dr. Pearse to Marry Kurt Eichenwald}} | |||
* {{archive|F7I6y|Kurt Eichenwald Is Wed to Dr. Pearse}} | |||
* {{archive|3blec|Elva Eichenwald, 85, nurse and 'second mother' to St. Mark's boys}} - His mum's obituary. | |||
* {{archive|uf4Xq|St. Mark’s Photographer Stays Focused}} - Article about Sam. Also Theresa is fucking bald now too. | |||
* [mailto:[email protected] [email protected]] - Send all [[hate mail]], assault .gifs and [[Twinks|pics of hot young boys]] here. | |||
* [mailto:[email protected] [email protected]] - Old email address. | |||
* [mailto:[email protected] [email protected]] - His email while posing as "Andrew McDonald". | |||
* [mailto:[email protected] [email protected]] - His email while posing as "Roy Rogers". | |||
{{Gayporn}} | |||
{{social media}} | {{social media}} | ||
{{jews}} | {{jews}} | ||
{{Pedoseries}} | {{Pedoseries}} | ||
{{RapeSeries}} | |||
{{Gun control}} | |||
{{Trump}} | |||
[[Category:People]] | [[Category:People]] | ||
[[Category:Crime]] | |||
{{Timeline|Featured article December 28 & December 29, [[2016]]|[[Kwanzaa]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[2016]]}} | |||
{{timeline|Featured article March 18 & 19, [[2017]]|[[Rachel Maddow]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Fat Larry's Band]]}} | |||
{{timeline|Featured article June 7 & 8, [[2017]]|[[The Asylum]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Mr Beast]]}} | |||
{{timeline|Featured article April 12 & 13, [[2018]]|[[Jean-Francois Gariepy]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Nasim Aghdam]]}} | |||
{{timeline|Featured article October 11 & 12, [[2018]]|[[MadThad0890]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Stephen Paddock]]}} | |||
{{timeline|Article of the Now July 18 & July 19, [[2023]]|[[K-On!]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Godwin's Law]]}} | |||
Latest revision as of 01:25, 5 December 2023
WARNING: With Paedojews, 13-year-old boys lose (their virginity)! |


—Kurt Eichenwald (circa 2016), aka That Fat Old Bald Guy "almost assault(ing)" (i.e. Kurt was afraid this dude would kick his bloated ass, so he used the loser internet words "you're lucky") to the last "fan" of his work before he got fired from everything. | ||
Kurt Alexander Eichenwald✡ is a hate-filled 64-year-old paedophile, doxer, cyber bully, tentacle hentai connoisseur and distinguished lolcow who can usually be found posing as a "journalist" in an attempt to groom teenage boys into sending him n00dz and/or having hot unprotected pederast buttsecks. Aside from being a contemptible person, Eichenwald is also a hideously unattractive, balding, Jew-faced goblin who usually sets his profile photos to the middle-aged male equivalent of the Fat Girl Angle Shot and attempts to hide his blatant Jewiness by claiming to be "Episcopalian" when he isn't busy BAWWWWWing over how his relatives somehow ended up in Rosanne Barr's Easy-Bake Oven.
Eichenwald's antics have included paying a child pornographer several thousand dollars for who-knows-what, reviewing his own shitty books on Amazon, getting a man arrested for sending him a seizure-inducing .gif that he was dumb enough to actually click on, getting caught looking at hentai and then claiming that he and his kids just wanted to show his wife that tentacle porn exists, doxing an Oregon lawmaker and mocking a survivor of the Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting because they didn't support gun control, and threatening to sue anyone who even makes mention of his aforementioned paedophilic attraction to young boys and excellent taste in Japanese cartoon pornography.
Kurt was formerly employed by The New York Times, Newsweek, MSNBC, Vanity Fair and a child porn site called Justin's Friends – although it appears that he has now been fired from every single fucking one of them for being an even bigger piece of dog shit than Brian Zaiger. You can help Kurt out by sending him all of the horrible job offers you have that even the border-hopping Mexican illegals weren't willing to accept.
The Dork Knight Rises

Kurt Alexander Eichenwald✡ was tragically born without hair on June 28, 1961, to Jewish father Heinz Felix Eichenwald✡ and slightly less Jewish mother Elva Catherine Eichenwald✡ in the fine land of aeroplanes that collide into tall buildings, New York. While attending college at Swarthmore, Eichenwald accidentally hit his bald head and sustained a concussion—presumably while trying to peep on the boys' locker room—which caused him to contract the horrible seizure disease known as epilepsy and soon got him kicked out of school after his teachers came to the conclusion that his seizures were the direct result of him being possessed by Jewish Satan like that crazy bitch from The Exorcist.
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Heinz Felix Eichenwald, George Soros' bastard son.
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Elva Catherine Eichenwald (née McDonald), also George Soros' bastard son.
—Swarthmore gives in to the demands of terrorists | ||
A Boy and His Jew

At this point in his worthless life, Eichenwald had dreams of someday becoming a journalist despite already looking over twice his age and possessing absolutely no talent as a writer. Desperate, Eichenwald decided to write fictional stories about how he overcame the social stigma of having epilepsy while making the disorder sound more like lycanthropy or vampirism. In the early 1990s, Kurt married Theresa Felicia Pearse✡ in an attempt to cover up his homosexuality and, soon after, gave birth to three autistic hellspawn named Adam Jacob Eichenwald✡, Ryan Joseph Eichenwald✡ and Samuel Ian Eichenwald✡.
—Kurt, thinking that people fear dorks who can literally be killed with .gifs | ||



It wasn't until 2005 that Eichenwald finally got his big break while working for the Jew York Times. While trying to decide on a topic for his next big story, Eichenwald decided to take a break and look for child porn images that resembled his then 13-year-old son, Adam. Eventually, Eichenwald stumbled upon MexicoFriends.com and JustinsFriends.com – a pair of gay pornographic paysites run by a 19-year-old twink named Justin Berry who had been doing webcam shows for gay men since the age of 13 because he thought it would be a good way to pick up chicks.
—Eichenwald likes boys that resemble his son | ||
After finding the site and somehow determining that it featured underage models despite having a notice saying that all models were at least 18, Eichenwald decided that he wanted to help Justin and—after supposedly consulting with his wife and friends who actually believed it would be a good idea—decided to "pose" as a disgusting sex pervert named Andrew McDonald (a.k.a. "Roy Rogers") and then began constantly creeping on Justin through the site's contact form and purchasing all of Justin's underage n00dz with a Paypal account that could easily be traced back to him.
Previous Quote | Next Quote | |||||
As a result of Eichenwald's constant bitching about the shitty quality of the CP he was receiving and his claims of being a famous musician, Justin and his cohorts soon came to the conclusion that he was most likely Don Henley of The Eagles.
—LOLOLOL | ||
It's About Ethics In Child Porn Journalism


After a while, Kurt finally got fed up with the fact that Justin wasn't actually giving him any real attention and, on June 8, 2005, decided to send him a check for $2000. The very next day, 19-year-old Justin picked up a 14-year-old boy named Taylor and took him to the home of his 39-year-old gay paedophile friend, Gregory John Mitchel, to film himself masturbating with Taylor. Berry then used $300 of the money that Eichenwald had sent him to pay the underage boy that he had just molested for his role in the production of Kurt's $2000 made-to-order child porn video.
About a week later, Justin granted Eichenwald full administrator access on the JustinsFriends website as he proceeded to have a falling out with Mitchel and began searching for someone who could fix some HTML that he fucked up. Justin then went to one of his friends named Timothy Ryan Richards (a.k.a. Casey Masterson), a 24-year-old who had been a gay porn star and gay porn webmaster since 1999 and who could actually code HTML because he wasn't a completely incompetent fuckwit like Eichenwald and Berry.
What Justin didn't tell Richards, however, was that one of the videos that he was having him upload to the site was the aforementioned video of himself wanking it with a 14-year-old boy. Not realizing that the video was, in fact, child pornography, Richards uploaded the video to the site so Eichenwald could spend the next week accessing it no less than 56 times. Strangely, Kurt took several days off from watching the video – suggesting that he beat his dick raw thanks to his lack of protective foreskin.
On June 30, 2005, Kurt finally managed to arrange a face-to-arse meeting with Justin Berry in Los Angeles that he fully intended to involve a little VHS and Chill. Unfortunately, after showing up for the meeting, Eichenwald realized that Justin was now over the age of 18 and was legally an adult. Now completely disinterested in getting his bum churned, a disappointed Eichenwald came up with an absolutely brilliant idea to cure his Writers' Cockblock – he would use Justin and his site as a basis for his next big story in The New York Times, and in the process he would make himself look like a hero who single-handedly took down a global child porn ring.
Soon after this, Eichenwald wrote a highly-praised article about the wonderful world of online child pornography entitled
"Through His Webcam, a Boy Joins a Sordid Online World", but he strangely neglected to include any mention of the $3100 he had given Berry. Unfortunately, Eichenbald had also apparently suffered a seizure on the day that his journalistic ethics class explained that the act of paying a source is unethical and the practice is often referred to as "Checkbook Journalism". He also apparently had a seizure on the day that they explained that paying for kiddie porn and sex with underage boys is outright illegal.
In case Eichenwald didn't already seem like enough of a creep, it also came out that one of whom was ultimately convicted for his role in the site likely wasn't even aware that any of the site's content was illegal and was merely a scapegoat for Eichenwald to get his big story and further inflate his ego – much like the 1500 users of Justin's site who believed that they were paying for legal pornography featuring adults.
—Some gay book about Law and Order | ||
—Kurt Eichenwald paid for child porn. FACT. | ||
That's right – actual paedophile, Kurt Eichenwald, helped child pornographer and child molester, Justin Berry, get off scot-free and then got a bunch of unwitting gay porn consumers thrown in prison for a crime that they didn't even know they were committing. And he did it all to save himself from prison rape and make himself look like a hero.

Soon after the publication of Eichenwald's article about Justin Berry, the journalistic community began to question the legality of Kurt's extreme form of Gonzo journalism and his highly dubious actions of paying for goddamn child pornography. Kurt was quick to defend himself by citing some non-existent loophole that he claimed allows journalists to view and download CP without any ramifications as long as they report it to the authorities and don't fap to it for more than 5 minutes per image.
Enter Debbie Nathan, an actual journalist for Salon who was willing to call out Eichenwald on his bullshit and report on the facts of the matter in a story that was provocatively entitled
Why I need to see child porn. Unfortunately, as soon as Eichenwald found this article, he blew a fucking gasket and threatened both Salon and Debbie Nathan with a lolsuit if they didn't immediately take down her factual reporting on him. Not wanting to deal with the hassle, Salon quickly chose to pull the article and admonished Debbie for attempting to pick a fight with a mentally retarded person.
—Eichenbald threatens to sue after being exposed as a paedophile |
Eichenwald Rides The Trump Train Back To Relevance


After years of irrelevance, Eichenbald made his big comeback in 2016 by spending an entire year of his miserable life writing shitty tabloid-level trash about President Donald J. Trump while citing "anonymous" sources who most likely never even existed.

Jew Can't Cuck the Tuck


This eventually landed him an interview on the Tucker Carlson show where he spent 10 minutes grandstanding to avoid answering the simple question "Do you have evidence for any of this?", while waving around a 4 inch thick folder he collected by stalking Carlson for years, and threatening to expose its content if Tucker didn't stop asking him hard questions. The interview ended with Kurt going completely off the rails and sharing his paranoid delusions about being send secret messages by the CIA as Tucker suggests he seeks professional help before ending the interview.
The Twitter Meltdown
Use scrollbar to see the full image |
#BanAssaultGIFs




After being wrecked by Tucker Carlson, suffering a complete meltdown and going on an incoherent Twattering spree, Eichenwald's day of batshit insanity finally came to an end when a sexy-as-FUCK Good Samaritan named jew_goldstein (Powerword: John Rayne Rivello) tweeted a rapidly-flashing .gif that allegedly caused Eichenbald to suffer a severe seizure.
—Totally not Kurt posing as Theresa for sympathy points | ||
However, all evidence of what happened, such as him having regained full speech, mobility and ability to write and edit videos mere hours after the event (in spite of what his lawyer claims in a clear case of perjury), all points to this convenient "seizure" (one in a log line of many) being fake. Still, being the repugnant little Jewfag that he is, Eichenbald then called in the motherfucking FBI to investigate the posting of a fucking animated .gif file on Twatter. In March, 2017, John Rivello was finally arrested by the FBI to face federal charges for posting a .gif on the internet and triggering a seizure that most likely never even happened.
As of this day, all Federal charges have been dropped and it looks like Kurt won't be able to get a conviction on what remains so he wasted his money for nothing.
—Eichenbald, internet tough guy | ||
Kurt likes to dox others
Kurt likes to use Twitter in order to find out the private info of those who criticize him on Twitter and then begin to threaten them while also acting like the victim once it turns around on him in the worst way possible.
We're not lieing when we say if you have an active article and have doxed somebody in the past or present, it will unquestionably backfire on you like a nigger trying to run from the police, doesn't matter if you're a ED user or not. It's not much differentiating than a backraid, except this isn't on a image board; it's on a major social media site that thinks the type of behavior Kurt is exhibiting is okay, but wishes to dish out suspensions to those who give him the backfire that he truly deserves.
The .gif
I Swear I Was Just Doing Research Part II: Electric Boogaloo

Not content with being a degenerate in only one way, Kurt went out of his way to make his degeneracy even more publicly known. While playing the victim card again, he accidentally revealed an open tab that turned out to be Japanese cartoon porn. Eichenwald hilariously made several claims while squirming, each more pathetic than the last. A clever Twitterer created
#EichenwaldAMovie, resulting in many hilarious memes and lulz.
The "research" claim worked so well to get him out of hot water in the Justin Berry case, why not use it here?
Not content with his existence proving Rick Wilson's theory that people with no political power jack it to cartoon porn, and embarrassing himself by lying about his sick fetish for hot hot tentacle porn, Eichenwald went on to pretend he did not know what facesitting is. Nobody else had the same problem however, and he quickly deleted his lie and continued to squirm on Twitter while everyone laughed their asses off.
Tucker Carlson naturally suggested that Eichenbald delete his account on his show that night:
|
And as it turns out, Kurt admitting in failing in his quest to find tentacle porn, making him the most incompetent man on the planet.

—Eric Spencer | ||
Kikenbald vs. Diversity & Comics

(archive)
In yet another of Kurt's efforts to humiliate himself, after tranny comic writer Michelle Perez sent twitter threats to ComicGate figure Diversity & Comics, Kurt came out in full throated support of D&C, only to be rejected outright and called a kiddie diddler.
It seems that not even the publicity starved members of ComicsGate wanted anything to do with this "journalist", and D&C made a video about him siding with himself saying exactly that. What followed was a never-ending slew of deranged emails from Kurt to Diversity, filled with incoherent ramblings and threats of legal action, less he retracts all previous statements in an official apology video. When this failed, Kurt contacted industry insider and friend of D&C, Ethan van Sciver, to request he act as a mediator. This too soon devolved into lunacy and ended with Eichenbald making additional threats to the empty void that was everyone else's collective decision to just ignore him from now on.

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Kurt Doxes Bill Post

Recently, Kurt decided it would be a good idea to dox a state representative who was telling constituents how to contact their congressman to complain about proposed changes to a state gun law - which Kurt thinks is doxing - and threaten his kids. After briefly posting Bill Post's SSN (which he found by googling it) and deleting it, he followed it up with several tweets basically saying "Watch your mouth, or else". Bill reacted by not caring because he's a public figure with government protection and isn't scared of a bald midget jew and probably just pities him.
Previous Quote | Next Quote | |||||
Kurt Destroys His Career By Trying To Bully A School Shooting Survivor

Days after David Hogg orchestrated a letter writing campaign to FOX sponsors because Laura Ingraham exposed he was trying to leverage his fame from having his classmates killed into a way to get into schools he was ineligible for because of his pathetically low GPA, something that Kurt applauded, Kurt decided nothing would be smarter than to get the exact same thing done to him, and picked a twitter fight with the one pro-A2 kid that survived the Parkland High School Massacre, with predicable results.
Within hours people were contacting every outlet he claimed to work for and getting their sponsorships pulled. In response, Kurt concocted one of his oh-so-convincing stories, claiming that he wasn't threatening the survivor of a school shooting, he was actually trying to bully a different teenager and got confused.
Predictably, this did not work, and Kurt was quickly fired from multiple news networks... or he would have been, if he had worked there in the first place. While Newsweek kicked him out, Vanity Fair claimed he hasn't actually written anything for them for years and MSNBC went a step further and quietly purged not only Kurt, but everyone who he was friends with.
Kurt Thinks It's A Conspiracy By Ben Shapiro

To escalate the insanity to 11, Kurt then sent deranged emails to Ben Shapiro, accusing him of being part of a conspiracy to catfish him into bullying the wrong teenager and saying he is writing a story about it with the help of a psychiatrist that has determined the kid he threatened is crazy, and that Ben should keep a lid on it because if he doesn't the kid might be in danger. Emails which Ben, just like every other person who has gotten one of Kurt's insane ransom notes sent to them, posted publicly in twitter, prompting even more emails to be sent.
Following this, Kurt tried to pretend he was hacked, but it was to no avail and he ended up trending on twitter for a second time. Furthermore, a legal expert weighed in to say that Kurt's email is actionable defamation.
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First part of first email
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Second part of first email
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Freaking out after Ben exposed him
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Trying to play the victim and telling Ben his fans are bulling him
Kurt Gets Raped
—Kurt, on shit that never happened | ||
Quotes
Previous Quote | Next Quote | |||||
Video Evidence
Previous Video | Next Video
Galleria de Saving Money on Haircuts
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The full version of his profile photo reveals the fugly truth.
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Eichenwald is a sad panda.
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You can see the fear...
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... in this innocent young boy's eyes.
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The highest rated image on RateMyJew.
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Kurt tries to prove he isn't Jewish by fucking something non-kosher.
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#EichenwaldAMovie on the trending list -
Sure it is, Kurt, sure it is...
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The Eichenwald curve
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his waifu
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Did Kurt post in his own defense on pol?
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Kurt went on a 16 hour twitter break one minute after Mister Metokur made a video about him
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Possible meme?
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Another cringy tweet
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Kurt is trending again
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Kurt's "employer's" sponsors pulling out like his mother should have
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We're not actually sorry. We hope you click this and die.
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Soon...
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A parody account of Kurt just gave up
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caught lying again
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Kurt only has one insult
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seriously its all he says
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Even Moviebob thinks he's a loser... ouch
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Someone fixed his Google bio
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An actual screencap from his wikipedia article
Related Articles
- Justin Berry - The boy he "saved" from a child porn ring
- Keith Olbermann - A similar libturd who actually had the sense to fuck off... eventually...
- Tucker Carlson
- Bald Jew Angle Shot
- Internet Tough Jew, Holocaust Tough Guy, or Internet Tough Goy (call it whatever)
- Child Pornography
- Paedophile
- Epilepsy
- Oven - Where baldy belongs.
External Links
Kurt Loves Kurt
Astonishing...Absolutely Astonishing
I loved this book...Better than his last
BRAVING EPILEPSY'S STORM - Kurt's shitty writing from 1987.
Paedo Eichenwald vs. The Liberal Media
Through His Webcam, a Boy Joins a Sordid Online World - Eichenwald's article that started this saga.
REPORTER'S ESSAY: Making a Connection With Justin
Congress Identifies Pornography Purchasers
With Child Sex Sites on the Run, Nearly Nude Photos Hit the Web - Eichenwald writes creepy shit about prepubescent girls too.
Doing Good and Telling a Good Story: A Delicate Balance - Kurt's Jew York Times friends defend his bullshit.
Sex, Checks and 'The New York Times' - NPR calls out Eichenwald's unethical behaviour.
Why I need to see child porn - Debbie Nathan's article that was pulled after baldy sent legal threats to Salon.
Censoring Debbie Nathan
When Kurt and Justin Met Debbie
‘Times’ Prostitute Rescuer Eichenwald, in Testimony, Says He Went ‘Off the Deep End’
Eichenwald: A tale of Media-ocrity - Perverted Justice tries to slander Debbie Nathan to protect our bald paedo friend.
Seizures Hurt Memory, Ex-'Times' Reporter Says - HURR DURR MY SEIZURES MADE ME FORGET PAYING 2000$ FOR CHILD PORN
The Eichenwald Affair: Threats And Allegations, With Little End - Huffing-paint Shitpost skewers baldy.
Kurt Eichenwald’s Sad Story Gets That Much Sadder - Moar HuffPost.
Eichenwald's Weird Checkbook Journalism - Even libtarded Slate can destroy Eichenwald.
More Secret Payments by Former New York Times Reporter to Web Porn Star Surface in Nashville Courtroom - Debbie strikes back.
New York Times reporter was a member of an illegal underage porn site, claims he was only "posing as online predator" - Moar Debbie.
Court Papers Said to Show Added Payments by Reporter - NYT finally reports on their disgraced reporter.
Kurt Eichenwald Has Some 'Splaining To Do - Moar Gawker.
Fools of conspiracy - Wikileaks weren't actually the first ones to discover Kurt's sockpuppetry.
Fool’s Conspiracy: Did Kurt Eichenwald Use Journalism to Shield Himself After Viewing Child Porn 22+ Times?
Newsweek Writer Threatens Journalist Bill Moran Over Pedophile Allegations
Newsweek’s Kurt Eichenwald Caught Viewing Kiddie Porn, Financing Kiddie Porn Video
Kurt Whines To Poynter
FreeCasey
Eichen 2: Epileptic Jigaboo
The NRA’s Solution to Sandy Hook? Columbine.
The Deafness Before the Storm - Kurt makes his big comeback by bitching about Bush and 9/11 in fucking 2012.
Let’s Repeal the Second Amendment
The New York Times' Juicy, Scoop-Filled 9/11 Op-Ed Is Neither Juicy Nor Full of Scoops - Gawker eviscerates Eichenwald after his "comeback".
Get Control, Senator Sanders, or Get Out - Kurt helps Donald J. Trump become president by spreading Hitlery's easily-debunked propaganda.
Donald Trump’s History of Lying Under Oath
Donald Trump Tests Positive for Everything, According to His Own Doctor
Sean Hannity: Apologize to Those with Epilepsy, or Burn in Hell - Classy.
How the Trump Organization's Foreign Business Ties Could Upend U.S. National Security
How Donald Trump Supporters Attack Journalists - Kurt bitches about "Epileptogenic Pepe Videos".
A reporter tweets his way into trouble with a claim about Trump that lacked evidence
Newsweek’s Eichenwald Melts Down After Called Out for Lying About Trump Health
Kurt Slanders Moran
Hillary Confidante: Benghazi was "Preventable," State Department Negligent - The misunderstanding that set Kurt's panties on fire.
Dear Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin, I Am Not Sidney Blumenthal
How I Got Slimed By Russian Propagandist Site Sputnik - Baldy got sued over this.
Journalist Sues Newsweek for Naming Him as Russian Conspirator - LOLOLOL
Newsweek Settles with Journalist Smeared by Kurt Eichenwald
Newsweek settles with Sputnik writer
Clinton Journalist Has Meltdown After His Russian Conspiracy Theory Is Debunked
Eichen Bald Z: The Jew Goldstein Saga
Eikenwald
Twitter Explodes After Kurt Eichenwald Allegedly Tweets Photo That Shows His Interest in Anime Porn
Kurt Eichenwald says he was just trying to show his wife some tentacle porn
Newsweek’s Kurt Eichenwald was just looking at tentacle porn for his family
Kurt vs. WikiLeaks
Kurt Eichenwald Attempts Twitter Fight With Julian Assange, Gets Wrecked
Wikileaks Pettiness Reveals What Might Be the Secret Amazon Account of Journalist Kurt Eichenwald - Jizzmondo suggests Wikileaks was wrong for revealing Kurt's sockfaggotry.
Mainstream Media Journalist Tries to Troll WikiLeaks on Twitter, Assange Proceeds to Own Him
Doxing Bill Post
'Don't bring a knife to a bazooka fight': Journalist posts Oregon lawmaker’s personal info online
Oregon Lawmaker Gets Into an Online Doxxing War After He Publishes Home Addresses of Religious Leaders Campaigning for Gun Control
Diversity & Comics
Ecchibald vs. Meghan McCain
Meghan McCain Fires Back at Kurt Eichenwald Over Twitter Jab: ‘Mr. Weirdo Tentacle Porn’
Meghan McCain Threatened With Legal Action Over Social Media Spat
Defaming The President
Ecchibald vs. Kyle Kashew
Proactiv Pulls Ads From MSNBC Over Kurt Eichenwald Spat
Proactiv Pulls Ads From MSNBC After Ex-Contributor Attacks Pro-Gun Parkland Student Kyle Kashuv
Kurt Eichenwald Says He’s No Longer With MSNBC After Kyle Kashuv Calls For Network Boycott
Random Trump Hysteria & Hypocrisy
FBI Director James Comey Is Unfit for Public Service
Kurt's reaction after Trump takes his advice and fires Comey- Nice 180°, Kurt.
Neil Gorsuch Is Supremely Qualified, and Must Not Be Confirmed
Other Shit
Newsweek Writer Paid Underaged Boys To Wank on Video
Political columnist Kurt Eichenwald voted Shittiest Twitter Account of 2016
#FreeJewGoldstein
Goldstein's now deleted Twitter
Newsweek's Kurt Eichenwald sues Jew Goldstein over weaponized assault GIF on Twitter
Pastebin about his child porn habits
BOSTON MAN PLEADS GUILTY TO CHARGES IN COMMERCIAL CHILD PORNOGRAPHY WEBSITE CASE
Jewboy finally admits to being a fucking kike
Doxing is horrible, but...
Dr. Pearse to Marry Kurt Eichenwald
Kurt Eichenwald Is Wed to Dr. Pearse
Elva Eichenwald, 85, nurse and 'second mother' to St. Mark's boys - His mum's obituary.
St. Mark’s Photographer Stays Focused - Article about Sam. Also Theresa is fucking bald now too.- [email protected] - Send all hate mail, assault .gifs and pics of hot young boys here.
- [email protected] - Old email address.
- [email protected] - His email while posing as "Andrew McDonald".
- [email protected] - His email while posing as "Roy Rogers".
| Kurt Eichenbald is part of a series on GAY PORN! [Fap fap fap] |
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Kurt Eichenbald is part of a series on Visit the Social Media Portal for complete coverage. |
| Locus in quo: |
Abilene Alleyway Shooting 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting 🔫 Chris Dorner 🔫 Christchurch mosque attacks 🔫 Colorado Theatre Shooting 🔫 David Long 🔫 Dayton shooting 🔫 El Paso Walmart Shooting 🔫 Elliot Rodger 🔫 Gilroy Garlic Festival Shooting 🔫 Jacksonville Shooting 🔫 Kyle Rittenhouse 🔫 Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting 🔫 Pulse Nightclub Massacre 🔫 Randy Stair 🔫 San Bernardino shooting 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre 🔫 Santa Fe High School Shooting 🔫 Shoahdown at the Synagogue of Doom 🔫 Las Vegas shooting 🔫 Texas church shooting 🔫 Umpqua Community College Shooting 🔫 Virginia Beach Shooting 🔫 Washington Navy Yard shooting 🔫 Youtube shooting 🔫 |
|---|---|
| Supporters |
Barack Obama 🔫 Christians 🔫 Concerned Mothers 🔫 Democrats 🔫 Dianne Feinstein 🔫 Government 🔫 The Kennedys 🔫 Kurt Eichenwald 🔫 Faggots 🔫 Liberals 🔫 Michael Bloomberg 🔫 Jews 🔫 SJWs 🔫 Sensitive people 🔫 Tara Strong 🔫 Trayvon Martin 🔫 Quinton Reviews |
| Main ideas: |
Assault Rifle 🔫 Gun 🔫 Gun Control 🔫 Murder 🔫 Arson 🔫 Bombs 🔫 Mass Shooting 🔫 School Shooting 🔫 |
| Haters gonna hate: | |
| Acts of revenge: |
Boston Marathon Bombing 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 Ariana Grande Massacre 🔫 London Bridge Attack 2017 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting 🔫 Prosper family murders |
| Objectors: |
Charlton Heston 🔫 James Holmes 🔫 NRA 🔫 Osama Bin Laden 🔫 Republicans 🔫 People planning a massacre 🔫 |
| Pre-2012 Gun Massacres |
Columbine 🔫 École Polytechnique 🔫 Dawson College 🔫 Virginia Tech Massacre 🔫 Austin, Texas 🔫 NIU Valentine's Day Massacre 🔫 Hungerford Massacre 🔫 Anders Breivik |
| Kurt Eichenbald is part of a series on Donald Trump. You're gonna love this article, believe me. |
| Featured article December 28 & December 29, 2016 | ||
| Preceded by Kwanzaa |
Kurt Eichenbald | Succeeded by 2016 |
| Featured article March 18 & 19, 2017 | ||
| Preceded by Rachel Maddow |
Kurt Eichenbald | Succeeded by Fat Larry's Band |
| Featured article June 7 & 8, 2017 | ||
| Preceded by The Asylum |
Kurt Eichenbald | Succeeded by Mr Beast |
| Featured article April 12 & 13, 2018 | ||
| Preceded by Jean-Francois Gariepy |
Kurt Eichenbald | Succeeded by Nasim Aghdam |
| Featured article October 11 & 12, 2018 | ||
| Preceded by MadThad0890 |
Kurt Eichenbald | Succeeded by Stephen Paddock |
| Article of the Now July 18 & July 19, 2023 | ||
| Preceded by K-On! |
Kurt Eichenbald | Succeeded by Godwin's Law |

