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Mikhail Pivnev
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|---|---|
| Mikhail Pivnev | |
| Nationality: | Ruskie 
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| Highscore | injured 1 |
| Top 25? | Lmao fuck no. |
| Style | Single player |
| An Hero? | No, pussied out |
Mikhail Pivnev or Mikhail Klebold is an unoriginal zoomer nerd from Putinstan who on September 5th 2017 at the ripe age of 15 attempted to bring the legacy of IRL trollers Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold to the khanate but ended up becoming Russia's version of Sebastian Bosse.
Background
Mikhail was born in 2002 in the artic shithole that is Russia. Growing up, he wuz a gud boy, until he started to started to get picked on by the jocks at school. This constant shitting on the little fuck escalated to one time, an incident in 2014 where a group of the lowlifes humiliated him in front of his peers and took his shoes from him. He apparently bitch and moaned about this to his mother about the incident, but she gave zero fucks and told him the incident was his fault. After this incident, Mikhail believed it was the beginning of the end for him and decided he would get revenge on the fucks who assraped him for great justice and lulz. In the months leading up to NBK he became fascinated by Hitluh and teh naz1s and edgy shit like Columbine. Infact our boy Mikey was so dedicated to Reb and VoDKa he turned his Vk page into a literal shrine. He would also threaten pull amok several times to his classmates, which in return would prompt them to report the threats to the principal, but thankfully, the principal didn't believe them. He had also threatened to commit his attack on 9/11 because of lulz, but ultimately didn't.
Loadout
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Attack
On 9/5/17 our hero arrives late like his heroes Reb and VoDKa did before their attack strolling into the school wearing a trench coat and combat boots and heading for his class. Upon entering the classroom his 39 year old female teacher demands an explanation, but instead our hero proclaims he came to die and shoots his teacher with his shitty "gun" and strikes her in the head with the axe, but the faggot doesn't even bother to continue to strike her some more to drain her health bar to zero, probably assuming she's dead already. He then continues to shoot his pellet gun in random places but not attempting to shoot at anyone else and throwing smoke bombs like an aspie in a FPS TDM just spamming flash bombs around the map. 3 students escaped the classroom by attempting an hero (AKA jumping out the window) but sustained injures. Eventually our pathetic excuse of a hero is arrested and later cries like a bitch saying how sorry he is.
Aftermath
In Feburary 2019 Mikhail Pissnev was sentenced to dea---7 years in jail after expressing deep trolls remorse and is most likely getting buttsecks by older men in the gulag shower rooms as of right now. He is probably also undergoing de-radicalization due to his "NATZEE!!1" beliefs and his probably getting cucked by normie psychiatrists that "Eric and Dylan were not ruskee enough!1" and is to give up his Columbine hentai and furry porn
Videos
Mikey reenacting his "massacre"
Gallery
Graded Score
| Graded score | |
|---|---|
| Kill count: | 0/20 |
| Accuracy: | 1/20 Idiot couldn't aim or kill for shit. |
| Style: | 5/20 First Russian Columbine copycat |
| Butthurt: | 3/20 Nobody cares. |
| Bonus: | 0/20 None. |
| Total score: 9/100 (F-) | |
Wanted Level:
___________________
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___________________
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Kindergarten Crossing Guard
See Also
- Vladislav Roslyakov - Russian Columbiner who got it right. Even outdid both Eric and Dylan by death count and execution!
- Sebastian Bosse - Who he basically is.
- Columbine - What he tried to live up to.
- Nazi - What he was.
| Mikhail Pivnev is part of a series on National Socialists Click topics to expand | |
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Schutzstaffel 卐 Ideologie, Tradition, Praxis, und Stolz 卐 Möchtegern-Nazis 卐 Feinde, Verräter, und verboten |
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