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Africa: Difference between revisions
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File:Charles taylor president of liberia (1997-2003).jpg|'''President Charles Taylor of Liberia'''<br>'''Campaign slogan:''' ''"He killed my ma, he killed my pa, but I'll vote for him"'' (Trufax! [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2003/aug/04/westafrica.qanda])<br><br>•'''Seized power in a military coup:''' 1996, went legit by getting elected the next year (deposed 2003)<br>•'''Notable for:''' in the words of the judge at Taylor's 2012 trial: "aiding and abetting<br>as well as planning some of the most heinous and brutal crimes recorded in human history"; <br>also the first head of state to be convicted of war crimes since [[Who?|Karl Donitz]] at [[100 years ago|Nuremberg.]] Guilty on<br>11 counts of war crimes (and crimes against humanity), including terrorism, sexual slavery, child conscription,<br>pillage, rape, and murder. (No cannibalism, though.) Currently serving [[Over 9000|50]] years in [[England|England.]]<br>•'''Fun fact:''' conspired with televangelist [[Pat Robertson]] to set up a mining operation and<br>sell black market diamonds under cover of "humanitarian relief missions" | File:Charles taylor president of liberia (1997-2003).jpg|'''President Charles Taylor of Liberia'''<br>'''Campaign slogan:''' ''"He killed my ma, he killed my pa, but I'll vote for him"'' (Trufax! [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2003/aug/04/westafrica.qanda])<br><br>•'''Seized power in a military coup:''' 1996, went legit by getting elected the next year (deposed 2003)<br>•'''Notable for:''' in the words of the judge at Taylor's 2012 trial: "aiding and abetting<br>as well as planning some of the most heinous and brutal crimes recorded in human history"; <br>also the first head of state to be convicted of war crimes since [[Who?|Karl Donitz]] at [[100 years ago|Nuremberg.]] Guilty on<br>11 counts of war crimes (and crimes against humanity), including terrorism, sexual slavery, child conscription,<br>pillage, rape, and murder. (No cannibalism, though.) Currently serving [[Over 9000|50]] years in [[England|England.]]<br>•'''Fun fact:''' conspired with televangelist [[Pat Robertson]] to set up a mining operation and<br>sell black market diamonds under cover of "humanitarian relief missions" | ||
File:King mswati III of swaziland.jpg|'''Mswati III of Swaziland'''<br>'''Full title:''' His [[Obesity|Majesty]] King Mswati III, Ingwenyama of Swaziland and Grand Master of<br>[[Srsly|the Royal Order of the Great She-Elephant]]<br><br>•'''Seized power in a military coup:''' Sort of. Succeeded his father as absolute monarch (and<br>commander in chief of the army) in 1986... at the age of 14<br>•'''Notable for:''' being in control of everything, as in having the power to fill any government position (including<br>that of Prime Minister) by clicking his fingers; having the power to dissolve parliament, cancel elections, and<br>veto laws; currently having 15 wives (one of whom he kidnapped and forcibly married while she was still in school);<br>holding annual beauty competitions of 10,000 contestants in order to choose his next wife;<br>arbitrarily kidnapping, jailing, torturing and murdering people who annoy him; trying to<br>force parliament to pass a law compelling the branding and sterilization of women with [[HIV]]; eating up<br>$60m every year in "running costs" for his ever-expanding family (while the average citizen earns $1.25 a day); and<br>absent-mindedly pissing away 10% of Swaziland's entire GDP by building an international airport in<br>the middle of fucking nowhere that has never been used because he lost interest halfway through | File:King mswati III of swaziland.jpg|'''Mswati III of Swaziland'''<br>'''Full title:''' His [[Obesity|Majesty]] King Mswati III, Ingwenyama of Swaziland and Grand Master of<br>[[Srsly|the Royal Order of the Great She-Elephant]]<br><br>•'''Seized power in a military coup:''' Sort of. Succeeded his father as absolute monarch (and<br>commander in chief of the army) in 1986... at the age of 14<br>•'''Notable for:''' being in control of everything, as in having the power to fill any government position (including<br>that of Prime Minister) by clicking his fingers; having the power to dissolve parliament, cancel elections, and<br>veto laws; currently having 15 wives (one of whom he kidnapped and forcibly married while she was still in school);<br>holding annual beauty competitions of 10,000 contestants in order to choose his next wife;<br>arbitrarily kidnapping, jailing, torturing and murdering people who annoy him; trying to<br>force parliament to pass a law compelling the branding and sterilization of women with [[HIV]]; eating up<br>$60m every year in "running costs" for his ever-expanding family (while the average citizen earns $1.25 a day); and<br>absent-mindedly pissing away 10% of Swaziland's entire GDP by building an international airport in<br>the middle of fucking nowhere that has never been used because he lost interest halfway through | ||
File: | File:Juv%C3%A9nal_Habyarimana_(1980).jpg|'''President [[Rwandan Genocide|Juvénal Habyarimana]] of Rwanda'''<br><br>•'''Seized power in a military coup:''' 1973, stood for unopposed re-election in 1978 (and got<br>98.99% of the vote), 1983 (got 99.97%), and 1988 (got 99.98%).<br>•'''Notable for:''' being [[Duh|a totalitarian dictator]] who rounded up crowds who were<br>then forced by soldiers to worship him by singing and dancing during his rallies.<br> Not nearly extreme enough, so he was assassinated in 1994 and<br>replaced with a puppet president who was more enthusiastic about genocide (see next slide) | ||
File:Theodore sindikubwabo, president of rwanda (april-july 1994).png|'''[[Resident Evil|Acting President]] Théodore Sindikubwabo of Rwanda'''<br><br>•'''Seized power in a military coup:''' was ''installed as acting president by a military junta,'' on<br>April 9, 1994, three days after the assassination of [[:File: | File:Theodore sindikubwabo, president of rwanda (april-july 1994).png|'''[[Resident Evil|Acting President]] Théodore Sindikubwabo of Rwanda'''<br><br>•'''Seized power in a military coup:''' was ''installed as acting president by a military junta,'' on<br>April 9, 1994, three days after the assassination of [[:File:Juv%C3%A9nal_Habyarimana_(1980).jpg|his predecessor]] (overthrown himself on July 19, 1994)<br>•'''Notable for:''' presiding over the most efficient [[Rwandan Genocide|genocide]] in history, with an<br>estimated 1,000,000 niggers killed in just under 100 days | ||
File:Mengistu Haile Mariam 3.jpg|'''President Mengistu Haile Mariam of Ethiopia'''<br><br>•'''Seized power in a military coup:''' <br>was installed as acting Head of State by a military junta, later appointed president of Ethiopia <br>was Acting Head of State for 11 days under the [[Communist|Marxist]] military junta named the Derg, <br>later became Head of State 3 February 1977 and established the People's republic of Ethiopia <br>of which he was President until his forced resignation 10 September 1991. <br><br>•'''Notable for:''' [[Torture|Torturing]] and murdering up to a million of his political opponents,<br> forcing his people to live in the [[AIDS|disease filled]] areas of the country during a time of frequent drought, <br>causing two separate famines, starving up to 2 million of his subjects to death and being <br>so unpopular that every political party in the country united in a civil war to depose him. | File:Mengistu Haile Mariam 3.jpg|'''President Mengistu Haile Mariam of Ethiopia'''<br><br>•'''Seized power in a military coup:''' <br>was installed as acting Head of State by a military junta, later appointed president of Ethiopia <br>was Acting Head of State for 11 days under the [[Communist|Marxist]] military junta named the Derg, <br>later became Head of State 3 February 1977 and established the People's republic of Ethiopia <br>of which he was President until his forced resignation 10 September 1991. <br><br>•'''Notable for:''' [[Torture|Torturing]] and murdering up to a million of his political opponents,<br> forcing his people to live in the [[AIDS|disease filled]] areas of the country during a time of frequent drought, <br>causing two separate famines, starving up to 2 million of his subjects to death and being <br>so unpopular that every political party in the country united in a civil war to depose him. | ||
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* [[File:MiniflagCongo.png]] Republic of the Congo - AKA:DR Congo's bitch, is another frenchie colony country located in the center-west. It is known for its oil industry, for being the original country named Congo and for its poverty rate. Its national language is french | * [[File:MiniflagCongo.png]] Republic of the Congo - AKA:DR Congo's bitch, is another frenchie colony country located in the center-west. It is known for its oil industry, for being the original country named Congo and for its poverty rate. Its national language is french | ||
* [[File:MiniflagSenegal.png]] Senegal - Senegal, is another frenchie colony located in the Sahara desert, most concretely in the west coast. It is known for its [[Soccer|soccer]] team, for its malaria rate, for a race called Dakar, as its capital and for its poverty. Its national language is french. | * [[File:MiniflagSenegal.png]] Senegal - Senegal, is another frenchie colony located in the Sahara desert, most concretely in the west coast. It is known for its [[Soccer|soccer]] team, for its malaria rate, for a race called Dakar, as its capital and for its poverty. Its national language is french. | ||
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*[[Poor]] | *[[Poor]] | ||
*[[Rape]] | *[[Rape]] | ||
*[[Rwandan Genocide]] | |||
*[[Martin Ssempa|Ssempa, Martin]] | *[[Martin Ssempa|Ssempa, Martin]] | ||
*[[Slavery]] | *[[Slavery]] | ||
